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Consumed By Guilt
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Locked away in my room, I was curled into a ball as I drowned in self pity.
My life was a mess, 22 years of age and I've yet to find my mate.
Everyone around my age has found theirs.
I rarely leave my room, only for important purposes.
With how weak my wolf is, I fear others will think I'm an omega, however both my parents are Beta so it's unlikely that I'd be one.
My wolf and I were just in a deep state of depression.
Consumed by our own guilt
Six years ago when I first received my wolf, something occurred that changed my life forever.
“Claire, open up, we need to talk,“
It was my mother.
Dragging myself up off the floor, I opened the room door so she could enter.
“Your father is home. He’s already seated at the dining table,“
“I’m not hungry” I lied. It’s just that I’d prefer to eat alone
“let’s have dinner as a family for once, and besides, there’s something we need to discuss with you,“
She shook her head not taking my word for it.
I sigh and follow her down to the kitchen. I was curious as to what they wanted to discuss.
her wavy black hair swayed behind her as she walked, It reached a little under her bum.
My mom and I looked almost identical from our ice cold light blue eyes, down to certain mannerisms.
we both avoid eye contact when lying and toss our hair when upset
Dad was seated around the table, he smiles warmly at me
I washed my hands and took a seat beside him
“Evening Father"
I greeted him
“Good Evening, my favourite daughter,“
“I'm your only child,“
He was trying to make a Joke, I knew that but depression has gotten the best of me.
“Let's get right to it then, shall we?.with the qualifications you've acquired during your time the the nursing school and our packs recent attack, there's so no reason you should be sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, Ella is never coming back and maybe if you actually left the house more often, you'd find your mate "
“Theo,“ mom says, holding his arm
“you’re making her cry“
But he shook his head
“She's my daughter and I love her, which is why I have to tell her the truth even if it’s hard to hear. Look at max?, he's mate-less too and we don't see him doing what Claire's doing"
I flinch at the mention of Max's name, my tormenter. The guy was a real piece of work which always puzzled me, since his dad, our Alpha, was the opposite of that. The man was a loving guy who cared deeply for his family and his pack.
Mom sighs and reaches for my hand over the table
“He’s right honey, I know she was your friend but we all know Ella she wouldn’t want you being like this. Will you go to the pack tomorrow?”
They're right, there's no good in locking myself away, it won't bring me healing and it sure as hell won't help me find my mate.
“yes, I will go tomorrow "
“That’s my girl,” father says proudly, he ruffles my hair and I ruffled his too
“Dad, you’re getting old” His once light brown hair, is now showing streaks of grey
”He is“
Mom laughs
”You weren't saying that last night…,“
Dinner became awkward after that, I quietly slipped away to my room.
Father had scheduled a meeting with the Alpha that's supposed to take place tomorrow
I undressed myself, the cool air making contact with my skin. I shivered
Turning the tab on, I waited for the shower to heat up, before entering.
My hair hasn't been washed in 2 weeks so I washed it then took a long shower.
The hot water scorched my skin raw, but that's how I like it.
All the mirrors were foggy due to the heat so I had to wipe them off then process them to get dressed.
I ditched the Pjs I'd been wearing since the other day and wore fresh one's
My energy was drained thinking about tomorrow, there's one person in particular I would rather not see, however, I need to look as presentable as possible for tomorrow
After a while of searching for something to wear, I found something that I think would work
I picked out a simple grey skirt, a pink top that I think will go well with it, pink heels, and some jewellery that’s more on the simple side. I like the simple but cute look.
The jewellery that I chose was a bracelet, anklet, necklace and earring. All in silver since that will blend with the grey and pink outfit more than gold would.
I placed my outfit down on the chair in the corner of my room, my shoes underneath it and my jewellery box on the seat.
I looked at my outfit, but I wasn’t pleased. Something’s missing. Oh, I didn’t have a bag.
Rushing to my clothes, I took out a grey handbag. I hung it on the shoulder of the chair and stepped back to observe it.
Perfect!
The pink didn't give off Barbie vibes at all, everything looked professional
Alpha wouldn't be pleased if I showed up looking like a Barbie doll and Max would surely make fun of me.
Next I set my alarm clock for 7: 30 am, the meeting with Alpha is 11 am.
“That’s it” I smile to myself. I’m all set for tomorrow.
Let's just hope I don't change my mind
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