Chapter 1

#MTDC01: DRUNKEN MISTAKE

I slowly opened my eyes. The sun rays coming from the window welcome me. I smiled when I felt an arm tightly hugging my waist. The arm of the man I love ever since I was in college. I tried shifting my position when he spoke.

“It’s still early, love. Let’s sleep a little more.”

My forehead suddenly creased. Then my eyes widened the moment I realized that it was not Red’s voice that I heard. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa taong katabi ko hanggang sa nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

“Ahhhhh!” Dali-dali ko siyang tinulak palayo sa ‘kin.

“What the fuck?!” rinig kong sigaw niya nang bumagsak siya sa sahig dahil sa pagkakatulak ko. But I continued screaming in horror. I am getting hysterical realizing that the man next to me isn’t Red. What the hell is happening? “What’s wrong with you Charitee--” he was cut off when he finally realized that I am not the woman he called Charitee. “W-What the hell?!”

Natigil ako sa pag sigaw nang tumayo siya at lumapit sa ‘kin. I hugged the comforter tightly when I saw his eyes full of rage. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng takot sa kaniya. I flinched when he yelled right in front of my face.“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“N-Nasaan si Red?” Mangiyak-ngiyak na tanong ko. “Bakit ikaw ang kasama ko?”

Sobrang kaba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. My mind can’t process this whole thing. I really don’t know what’s happening.

“Bakit ako ang tinatanong mo niyan?! I’m with Charitee! Pero bakit ikaw ang nandito?!” We’re both freaking out. I held tight to the comforter and covered my naked body. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.

“This is… this is fucking insane!” Tumayo ulit siya kaya agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin nang makita kong wala siyang ni isang saplot sa katawan. He’s completely naked for Pete’s sake! “Oh, shit!” Agad siyang tumakbo sa banyo kaya napatingin ako sa pinto no’n. Tulala ko ‘yung tinitigan hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang unti-unti pamumuo ng luha ko.

“Ang tanga mo, Symphony!” Napasabunot ako sa sarili nang makitang walang ‘out of order’ sign na nakalagay sa pinto ng banyo. “Ang tanga-tanga mo!”

With my trembling body, I hopelessly got off the bed and picked up my clothes. Nang mapatingin ako sa kama ay tuluyan nang kumawala ang mga luha ko nang makita ang pulang mantsa roon. I looked away, disgusted of what I saw. Dahan-dahan ko nang isinuot ang damit ko habang pilit pinipigilan ang pag-iyak. Nang muling bumukas ang pinto ng banyo ay agad akong napatalon. Wesley came out with a towel wrapped around the lower part of his body. Umiwas ako ng tingin nang lumingon siya sa ‘kin. Good thing I’m almost done putting on my clothes.

“I really can’t recall what happened last night, but I’m pretty sure that I was with Charitee.” He sounded really confused… and mad. Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa kaniya pero agad ring nag-iwas ng tingin. He’s looking at me intently, making me scared. I remained silent despite feeling that he’s blaming it all on me.

“Hindi ko alam kung papaanong ikaw na ang kasama ko ngayon. Did you… drugged me?”  Muli akong napatingin sa kaniya at agad na umiling.

“N-No… I can’t do that…” I answered, almost whispering. Walang muling nagsalita. The silence made me shiver even more. Galit na galit siya. At natatakot ako na baka saktan  niya ako.

 “This was just a freakin’ mistake, Symphony. Ayokong may makaalam sa nangyari sa ‘tin dito, lalo na si Charitee. Let’s just forget about this shit.” His statement sounded more of a command.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango bilang sagot. I heard him sighed harshly. Naglakad siya papunta sa pinto. “Ayaw mo rin namang malaman ‘to ng pinsan ko, ‘di ba?”

I nodded again. “Y-Yes…” Thinking about Red is breaking my heart. This feels like a betrayal.

“All right. We’ll keep this a secret. Let’s act like this is just nothing. I’ll go now.” Lumabas na siya kaya naiwan akong mag-isa. Nanghihina akong napaupo sa kama habang sunod-sunod na nagbagsakan ang mga luha ko.

“What the hell have you done, Symphony?” I muttered trying to recall how this shit happened.

***

“Drowning yourself to work will make you losyang, Symphony! Come on! There’s so much in life to enjoy! Ano ka ba naman!”

For the nth time, I rolled my eyes. Hindi pa ako tapos sa pagre-review ng mga proposals at heto si Jovy, nanggugulo sa ‘kin.

“Ano namang mayro’n sa party na ‘yan? It’s just a waste of time! Kita mo ‘tong mga papeles dito?” tinuro ko ang gabundok na mga papeles sa gilid ng table ko. “I have to review and sign all of this before the weekend. Wala akong panahon diyan!” 

I tried dropping our conversation, but he’s too eager to convince me to attend our batch reunion party this coming Thursday night. 

“Magtatampo si Soffi kapag hindi ka pupunta,” pangongonsenya niya.

I sighed. “I already told her that I can’t. Tigilan mo ako sa panggi-guilt trip mo, Giovanni.”

I heard him frown which earned my smirk. “Oh my god! Napaka-killjoy mo talagang babaita ka! Tsaka, it's Jovy! J-o-v-y! Stop calling me that name! Ew!”

Ngumisi ulit ako habang naiiling na pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa kong pagpirma sa hawak kong dokumento. Laking pasasalamat ko nang hindi na siya nagsalita pa. Nakaupo lang siya sa sofa sa gilid at mukhang may malalim na iniisip. If I know, he’s still thinking of ways to convince me. But my decision is final. Hindi ako dadalo sa party na ‘yun, at tatapusin ko lahat ng officeworks ko ng maaga. I need to free my schedule this weekend para naman makapagpahinga ako. 

“A source told me that your ex is going to attend the party.”

I was focused back on reading another business proposal when Jovy’s words caught my attention. I raised my brow. “Come again?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Tss! Pagdating talaga sa lalaking ‘yun…” he whispered. 

“Giovanni,” I called him, with a hint of irritation in my voice. 

“Okay, fine! Listen carefully, Miss Del Martin, your ex-boyfriend, Red, is attending the party. Ano? A-Attend ka na?” He said, stressing each word. 

I paused for a moment and think. I haven’t talked to him ever since that day… and I badly want to tell him something. And I miss him. 

Letting out a deep sigh, I made my final decision. “Fine. Count me in.” 

Agad kong narinig ang pagpalakpak ni Jovy na sinabayan pa ng mahina niyang tili. Hindi na rin siya nagtagal at umalis na. May ibang lakad pa raw siya. Sinisi niya pa ako na late na raw siya sa isang meeting niya. Parang baliw!

***

Thursday night came, and I am now heading to the party venue. I’m late now, I know. Ilang beses kasi akong nagpalit ng outfit. I just can’t choose a dress to fit the party which frustrates me! I am nervous, but at the same time excited to meet him again. Hindi ko alam kung kakausapin ba ako ni Red. Hindi ko alam kung galit pa siya sa ‘kin. But, it’s been almost two years since we broke up. I hope he'll give me a chance to explain myself. 

When I finally arrived at the venue, I was in awe. I must say that the organizers really prepared for this event. They even rented this whole club for us. I smiled when I saw some familiar faces. ‘Yung iba ay dati kong mga kaklase, samantalang ‘yung iba naman ay lagi kong nakikita sa campus noon. 

Nilibot ko ang tingin sa kabuuan ng venue. Indeed, this club is huge. Siguro ay kaya nitong i-accommodate ang mahigit isang daang tao. May mahabang bar counter sa gilid, sa tapat naman nito ay mga matataas at pabilog na mesa. Sa kabilang banda naman ay naroon ang mga couches na may center tables. Sa gitna ay ang dance floor at sa unahan ang mini stage. Napansin ko rin na may mga kwarto sa ibabaw. I wonder what that is. Is that a private room?

Is that where wasted people sleep? With strippers?

“Symphony!” A voice called my attention. I scanned the place, then I saw Soffi smiling while walking towards my direction. “Scam ka! You told me you’re busy!” sabi niya, matapos makipag beso sa ‘kin.

“Blame it all on Jovy! ‘Yung baklang ‘yun, hindi ako tinigilan hanggat hindi ako pumapayag!” I rolled my eyes when she burst out laughing. 

“I knew it! Oh, by the way, he’s on the stage. Upright is going to perform.” She winked at me, so I furrowed my forehead. Nilipat ko ang tingin sa mini stage at agad nakita si Red na hawak ang gitara niya. Something touched my heart when I recognized that guitar. It was my anniversary gift for him. I thought he had already gotten rid of it… 

“Stop staring. Baka matunaw.” Soffi giggled, which earned my frown.  

“Tss!” 

“Tara, hanapin natin si Jovy.” Nagpahila ako kay Soffi at hinanap ang kaibigan namin.  

We’re busy looking for Jovy when I heard his voice. Agad akong napatingin sa stage at nakitang nakaupo si Red, hawak-hawak ang guitar habang may mic stand na nakatapat sa kaniya.  

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It’s nice to see you all again. After two years, nakita ko na rin ulit ang mga classmates ko.” He smiled a little, showing his dimples on both sides of his lips. “Itong unang kanta namin ay para sa mga kaklase natin na nagpakopya ng sagot sa ‘tin noon.” Everyone laughed. He started strumming his guitar followed by the serene voice of their main vocalist. 

I froze in my position. I can’t take away my eyes off the stage– on him. God! I miss him so much!

“Hey, Symp! Ayun si Jovy, oh!” 

Soffi dragged me again towards Jovy. Habang patuloy na tumutugtog ang banda ni Red ay nagsimula naman akong abutan ni Jovy ng tequila.

“Go na! ‘Wag kj! We’re here to enjoy, ‘no! Forget about work!” sabi ni Jovy habang inaabot sa ‘kin ang panibagong shot. Hindi ko na alam kung pang-ilang shot ko na ‘to. There’s just something about Jovy that I can’t say no.

I smiled and got the glass from Jovy. I took it in just one gulp.

“Enjoy the rest of the night! Thank you!” I glanced at the stage when I heard Red again. I guess, they’re now done performing.   

“Give me another shot,” sabi ko kay Jovy. I saw him grinned. Agad kong nilagok ang ibinigay niyang shot at humingi ng isa pa. Sunod-sunod na apat na shot ang hiningi ko nang pigilan na ako ni Soffi.

“That’s enough. We’re here to enjoy, not to get wasted.”

“But I need more courage!” I countered. Inigaw ko kay Jovy ang hawak niyang shot glass at inubos ang laman no’n. Tumayo na ako nang makitang pababa na ng stage si Red. I walked my way to him and called his name  when I’m few steps away from him. His eyes widened when he saw me.

“Symphony,”

“Hi! Can we talk?”

He looked at me intently for a few seconds, then I saw him sighed. “There’s a room intended for the band upstairs. Would you mind if we talk there? Masyadong maingay dito.”

Hindi ako nagdalawang isip na tumango. Nagsimula na siyang maglakad paakyat ng second floor.

“Damn!” I uttered when I felt my head was spinning. I paused for a moment then continued climbing the stairs.

We entered the second door from the stairs. When he shut the door close, I suddenly felt the tension. He stared at me for  a moment. “Uminom ka ba?” My hopes went up when I noticed his worried face.

“Konti lang. I’m with Jovy and Soffi don’t worry--”

“Anong pag-uusapan natin?” He leaned against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest, then raised a brow.

“I-I… want to talk about us.” Sumandal rin ako sa pader para kumuha ng suporta roon. My vision is getting blurry and I feel like my head is getting heavier.

“Sa ganiyang kondisyon, Symphony? Gusto mong pag-usapan natin ang nangyari noon, ngayong halos hindi ka na makatayo ng maayos?”

“I’m not drunk! Nakainom lang ako! And I did that just to get some courage to talk to you!” I peeled myself off the wall trying to prove him wrong. Pero agad akong napahawak sa sentido ko nang biglang umikot ang paningin ko. Shit!

“This conversation is going nowhere, Symp. Ihahatid na kita sa baba--”

“No! We have to talk! I need to tell you everything! I want to give you explanations--”

“Para saan? Dalawang taon na tayong tapos, ‘di ba? Anong point ng pagpapaliwanag mo?”

I looked down and gulped. My eyes started to well up. Why does he seem so cold? I’m not used to it.

“But I need you to know that I did everything to save our relationship, Red. You were just so stubborn enough to see through it! During my birthday party, wala talaga akong alam na gagawin ‘yun ni Papa. I know he’s against our relationship, but I never thought that he’d go that far. Believe me, nung umalis ka, pinagtanggol kita kay Papa.”

That night was one of the worst night that I had. Pinahiya ng tatay ko si Red sa harapan ng mga bisita ko. At ‘yung mismong gabing ‘yun, hiniwalayan niya ako.

“What happened before doesn’t concern me now, Symphony. Tapos na ang lahat. We’re now taking our separate paths. Move on.”

Magsasalita na sana ako nang biglang bumaliktad ang sikmura ko. Dali-dali kong tinakpan ang bibig ko habang pilit na pinipigilang masuka sa harapan niya. Nilibot ko ang tingin pero agad akong napamura ng makita ang ‘Out of Order’ sign na nakadikit sa pinto ng CR.

“I-I’ll be right back. Diyan ka lang. I need to throw up!” Halos hindi ko na maibuka ang bibig ko dahil sa pagpipigil.

I continued cursing inside my head, then ran out of the room. Ilang beses pa akong tahimik na napamura nang hindi ko agad nahanap ang CR. After throwing up, I washed my face and composed myself. When I feel a bit fine, I went back to the room where I left Red. Pakiramdam ko ay umiikot pa rin ang paningin ko pero pilit ko pa ring itinutuon ang tingin sa daan. Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga nang nasa tapat na ako ng kwarto.

Nang buksan ko ang pinto ay agad ko siyang nakitang nakadapa sa kama. The source of light of this room was just the lamp shade on the side table. It was dim kaya mas lalo pa akong nahihilo. With my blurry vision, I stared at him.

Is he sleeping already? Gaano ba ako katagal sa CR?

“Red?”

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at ilang beses na kinalabit ang braso niya.

“Red, mag-uusap pa tayo—“

I gasped when he suddenly pulled me to the bed. Dahil sa biglaang paghila niya sa ‘kin ay mariin akong napapikit nang biglang umikot ang paningin ko.

“If you’re tired, m-maybe we can just talk tomorrow…”

“I love you…” halos bulong na sabi niya.

His words sent butterflies in my stomach. Biglang akong nabuhayan ng pag-asa.

I was about to talk when he suddenly kissed me. I was taken aback, but later on, I found myself answering to his warm kisses. My head is throbbing in pain while my heart is thumping uncontrollably. Hindi na ako makapag-isip ng maayos at ang tanging nasa isip ko lang ay ang mga h***k niya sa ‘kin. His kisses gave me hope that he also still feels the same way to me. That after all these years, we didn’t fall out of love. I can’t believe that after all the things that we’ve been through, here I am, answering to his kisses and moaning to his electrifying touches.

Goodness! The feeling was so good that I don’t want this to end. I want to give him my all. I want him to own me.

“I love you…” I whispered.

“I love you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you, Charitee.” That was the last thing I heard before I gave him complete access to my body.