Birthday

NAYA

All I always wished for was to be loved and cared for, it was my birthday once again but that wish never seems to be coming to pass. As I rubbed the surface of a tabletop lazily with my eyes fixated on a girl blowing out a candle and smiling from ear to ear. A pang of jealousy washed through me as I watched her, it was my birthday too but there I was wiping spilled drinks off a table.

My life was more pathetic than it sounded most times I just wanted everything to end so I could feel free but I never got the courage to make the move, you could call me a coward.

My eyes met with the girl sitting across the birthday girl making my cheek turn red in embarrassment she probably thought I was weird for staring like that, I quickly took my eyes away and focused on cleaning the invisible stain on the table

“How long would it take you to clean that table they are customers waiting!” I heard my manager snap at me

I lowered my head in shame and walked over to the counter to continue giving out orders, I couldn't wait for the day to come to an end already. I was busy trying to sort out people’s orders when I felt the phone buzzing in my pocket, I froze instantly I knew exactly who that call was from. My eyes traveled to the manager who was occupied with taking payments. He had a strong policy against us using phones during work hours, I let the phone keep buzzing in my pocket as I tried to go on with my work but my heart kept pounding hard in my chest with every step I took.

“What could she want?” I kept asking myself no matter how I tried to push the thought out of my mind it persisted so did the call. She didn't let it go to voicemail she kept on calling repeatedly thinking of what might happen if I didn't pick up her call made me immediately rush to the toilet and answered her call

“Hello Mom” I greeted as I picked up the call but I was greeted with a snared response

“How dare you ignore my call” she snapped making me jump at the sound of her voice

“I’m at work I am not allowed to take calls during work” I whispered, she knew that already because I had told her countless times but she always made sure she called when I was at work

“And how is that any business of mine? Are you now too busy for your mother?” she scoffed 

“Mom I-” I started to say before she cut me off

“One would think you are doing something important but you are running around with trays like a servant” she laughed hysterically, it sent shivers down my spine. 

I gripped my phone tightly like I wanted to snap it in half and just listened to her taunting me, I knew better than to try to defend myself

“You are a mess, a big ass mess. Look at Kayla about to graduate college making us proud but there you are washing plates, cleaning after strangers. Aren't you ashamed?” she asked I could picture the disgusted look she had on her face as she spoke

Her words went through my heart like a spear piercing right through it but I said nothing still, there was no point in arguing. Of course, she would always compare me to her precious daughter 

“Why did you call?” I managed to say through my teeth

“Oh so I'm wasting your time right?” she asked but I said nothing

“Answer me!” she yelled making me flinch

“I never said-” 

“Shut your mouth, you worthless human being” she cursed at me

Her words punched me right in the guts but I ignored it as always waiting patiently for her to be done with whatever she had to say, it wasn't the first time of her hurling insults at me for just existing.

“Come home for dinner, don't be late,” she said sounding like she was warning me and she cut the call abruptly. I shoved the phone back in my pocket with shaky hands 

“Why would she want me around?”

The main reason why I worked so hard was to get away from their house and live as far away from them and also take care of my sister's medical bills which I have managed to do successfully 

“Did she remember my birthday?” I asked myself but immediately shook out any ounce of hope I had, dragons existing made more sense than my mother acknowledging my birthday.

I went back to cleaning the empty table to prepare them for new customers, my hand shook with every swipe of the cloth on the table. My heart was racing fast

Why did she want to see me?

What would she say this time? Every part of me was scared of what the outcome would be, I knew better than to expect anything positive from that household. Part of me wanted to ignore the invite but I knew way better than to do that only if I was ready to hear the long talk of my series of ungratefulness 

Her words kept playing in my mind as I worked, I tried to ignore them telling myself that she didn't mean it in a malicious way I can't even tell if I could believe that, the hurt didn't go away no matter how I tried to shove it to the side it always felt fresh in my mouth.

When my shift finished the sun had already set, I wore my coat from the backroom and neatly wrapped my scarf around my neck with shaky hand. I took one last breath before heading out

I didn't want to go home, I would rather have myself work all through the day than go near those gates but sadly I had no choice.