Walang nagsalita ni-isa sa amin ni Lev. He's driving me home. No matter how much I want to ask him about what's bothering him ay hindi ko na nagawa. He looks tired and I thought that asking him might not be a good idea. Kaya tahimik lang akong nakaupo sa sasakyan habang nililibang yung sarili sa mga ilaw sa labas.A few minutes later, we arrived home. Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa. I used to be so straight-forward pero ngayon ay hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin. But I should say something, right? I can't stay here and do nothing. Paano ako makakauwi niyan?I cleared my throat. "Ah. Thanks for tonight, Lev.""Kaia, I'm sorry," bigla niyang sabi kaya napalingon ako sa kanya. "You weren't able to enjoy the party because of me."Kumunot yung noo ko. "What?""Alam kong ayaw mo pang umuwi. You enjoyed Seb's presence and I spoiled it for you. I'm just...""Don't be sorry, Lev. It's okay. Gusto ko naman talagang umuwi," I said, smiling."You do?"I nodded. "Oo. I'm not the type who enj
"What are you doing here?" Tanong si Sebastian kay Lev."I should be the one asking you that question. Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ni Lev pabalik. "I'm here because I was worried for Kaia," sagot ni Seb. "You don't have to, dude. Nandito naman ako," seryosong sabi ni Lev. "I'm here as her friend--""Huwag na kayong mag-away," I sighed. "Kung gusto niyong pumasok, pumasok lang kayo. But if you want to continue whatever you are doing then sa labas niyo na gawin yan."Tinalikuran ko silang dalawa at dumiretso sa kusina. Tutulungan ko nalang si Kali. I'm not sure if she can cook but mas maganda if I am there to help her. "Sino yun?" Tanong ni Kali habang naghahanap ng ingredients sa ref. "I'm planning to remake your adobong baboy. Namiss ko yung recipe mo."Napangiti ako. Noon pa man ay gustong-gusto na niya yung adobong baboy ko. When we were in college, pumupunta lang yan sa apartment na tinutuluyan ko para lutuan siya. We went to different schools kasi kaya hindi na kami nagsam
"Tama na yan. Magsimula na kayo. Baka wala kayong ulamin mamaya," sabi ni Chef. Agad akong dumistansya kay Lev nang mapansing nakahawak na pala ako sa dibdib niya. I cleared my throat and briefly smiled at him before turning my back at bumalik sa tabi ni Kali."Nahihiya si Miss Kaia," tawa ni chef. "Magpaalam ka kasi Mr. Laurier.""I can't help it," he chuckled. "Nanggigigil ako."Napairap ako sa kanya but he returned with a wink. Out of the sudden, I giggled which made him giggle too. Luh?"Sige! Magsisimula na!" Anunsyo ni chef. "Miss Kaia, ano yung unang gagawin?""Oh. Right." Umiling ako. "Marinate the meat with soy sauce. Kayo na bahala sa pantimpla. Surprise us!"Kumuha na sila ng karne at hinugasan muna bago nagmarinate. Seb seems to know what he's doing. Mukhang bihasa na siya sa pagluluto. Hindi halata sa mukha. For sure, masarap outcome nito.Si Lev naman ay parang batang nawalan ng laruan. It looks like he's lost. Nagtagpo ang aming mga mata and he's giving me a signal to
"Kali, stop it," sita ko sa kakambal na nasa harapan ko.We are currently sitting on the floor with a mini table between us. Four-cornered yung table at each side ay nakaupo kaming apat. Nasa right side ko si Lev, left side si Seb, at nasa harap si Kali."Last nalang, please?" Kali begged. I told Kali na hindi siya iinom. I remembered the last time he drank. Hindi niya kayang control-in yung alcohol. She's not tolerant and I don't want her to have headache tomorrow morning."Last na yan."She nodded. "Yes!"Pinabayaan ko nalang siya at inabot yung baso ko. I was about to drink my alcohol when Lev took the glass from me."What the heck?" "That's enough din, Kaia." Sabi niya at nilagok yung alak.I scoffed. "You know that I can handle my alcohol, right?""Yes," he nodded. "But not this time.""Let her drink, dude." Sabi ni Sebastian. "Malaki na si Kaia. Wala ka bang tiwala sa kanya?""Yes. Thank you," Sabi ko kay Seb. He handed me another glass pero kinuha ulit ito ni Lev at siya mis
After how many minutes of staring into space, I decided to go back inside. Sa sobrang gulo ng nangyayari, parang ayaw nang gumana ng utak ko. Mabuti pa't pumasok nalang at baka lamigin ako kapag nanatili sa labas.Pagkapasok ko sa bahay ay naabutan ko ang dalawa na nagpatuloy sa ginawa nila kanina. They are sitting on the floor again with bottles on their hands. Akala ko ba hindi sila goods? Napailing nalang ako at nilapitan sila."I thought you're done with this?" I asked, pointing at the bottles."Sayang yung alak," Sagot ni Lev na hindi pa rin makatingin sa akin."Don't worry, Kaia. Everything is under control," ngiti ni Seb.I exhaled. "Fine. I'll prepare your rooms."Tinalikuran ko na sila para ihanda yung mga guest rooms. Pinuntahan ko na muna si Kali para masiguradong okay siya. I saw her peacefully sleeping in her bed. Well, my bed. Hindi na inform si Lev na sa guest room na natutulog si Kali. I went to the guest room and prepared everything. Malaki naman ang kama kaya pwede
Under the soft glow of the moonlight, Lev and I strolled side by side through the tranquil park. The whispering leaves and distant chirping of crickets filled the air. We made sure to have space in between us. I mean, we are not lovers to begin with. Ewan ko lang kung ano yung naisip niya para lumabas hating-gabi. We just have to make sure that we won't get caught by authorities dahil sa curfew.Pumikit ako nang madiin bago binalik yung mata sa daan. I'm a little tipsy but I still know what's going on. I'm conscious and that is enough for me to make sure I'm safe.The park, normally bustling with daytime activity, now belonged to us alone. As we wandered along the dimly lit paths, we found a secluded bench and settled in. I needed to sit. Kanina pa kami lakad nang lakad at kahit isa ay walang nagsasalita. Bumuntobg-hininga ako at nilingon siya. Nakatingin lang siya sa malayo na para bang malalim yung iniisip."What are you thinking?" I asked.Napakurap siya at umiling. Lumingon siya s
As the morning sun pierced through the curtains, I groaned and blinked my bleary eyes open. A pounding headache throbbed mercilessly in my skull, and I winced as I tried to recall the events of the previous night. We were in the park. Lev was with me and we had a talk about things which I couldn't recall most of them. We got caught pass curfew so we ran until we reached home, laughing, thinking how big the trouble is when we were caught. But before that, I finished a few bottles and so did he.I rubbed my temples, attempting to soothe the ache. I am never drinking again! Ang sakit ng ulo ko na para bang mabibiyak na. I need a hot soup."Kaia, you're awake." I squinted my eyes, forcing to open it and saw Kali sitting at the edge of the bed. She's smiling at me with probably the same sabog look. Natawa ako at tinuro mukha niya. "Do I look like that?"She nodded. "Mas malala ka pa."Nagtawanan kaming dalawa but I stopped midway dahil kumirot yung ulo ko. "Ow!""How much did you drank la
"I'm fine, Lev.""No. Dito ka lang," he said as he tucked me in bed.Nang malaman ko na I am on my period, I got so embarrassed. Nakakahiya ka talaga, Kaia! Ang oa ko pa kanina. Sobrang dramatic that I blurted out things that I shouldn't have. I'm in my room right now and Lev is currently taking care of me. Medyo oa lang yung act of service niya."I'm not sick, okay? Nireregla lang ako.""You are still sick. Nakikita ko sa internet kung gaano kasakit yan. Period cramps hurts like heart attack daw. Hindi lang puson yung masakit, pati na rin yung lower back, legs, even your chest feels heavy and swollen."Napakurap ako. Andami naman niyang alam. "How did you know?""Come on, Kaia. I live with my sisters and my mom. Of course I know these things." He said in a matter of fact tone."Okay, let's say they are true. Pero hindi naman all the time sumasakit yung katawan ko. Well maybe nasanay na ako," I shrug my shoulders."That's why I'm here with you in case you need me," he said. "Anyway, d
I stared at myself in front of the mirror. I refuse to let a single drop of tear ruined my make up. Today is the day, the day when Lev is going to wed. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako pumayag na pumunta. I told myself that I would never attend his wedding. Kaya nga ako nangabilang-bansa kasi umiiwas ako. But he crossed borders just to see me. Just to invite me to his wedding.Minsan naisip ko na may galit ba siya sa akin. Does he want me to suffer? Or did he assumed that I was okay with this, that I moved on? Does it look like that?Pero kahit pa anong pagkamuhi ko sa mga nangyayari, I still invited myself to be hurt. Talagang sumang-ayon akong dumalo. For what, Kaia? For respect? For you not to look pitiful?"Are you ready?" Tanong ni Kali sa akin.Mapait akong ngumiti. "Yeah.""Tara na!"Kali's invited as well. Akala ko pa nga pipigilan ako ni Kali. But no. She's supportive on my decisions. Hindi ko alam kung saan yung kasal kasi I didn't bother looking at the invitation. Kali knows.Mari
Four months later, I busied myself. I went to Italy to follow my dreams. This time, hindi tumutol si Auntie. She supported me together with Kali. Masaya ako kasi ito lang naman ang hinihiling ko sa kanya, to support me. It took a lot of obstacles just to get here and it is all worth it.Sabay na kami ni Kali pumunta ng Europe. She have a project within the area at sakto namang papunta ako dito. We stayed in the same apartment and supported each other. Si Auntie naman ay naiwan sa Pinas. I told her that she should start meeting men. She will not stay young forever."Kaia, I'll go ahead. Baka hindi agad ako makauwi mamaya so kumain ka nalang nang wala ako," paalam ni Kali."Okay, Kali. Mag-ingat ka!" I waved my hand at her."Bye!"She then closed the door behind her. Naiwan na naman akong mag-isa. Tapos na kasi yung class ko sa morning and so I have the afternoon all for myself. Napalingon ako sa bag ko ang something was peeking from the inside. Lumapit ako dito at kinuha yun. Napahint
"C-Come join us!" Utal na aya ni Kali at agad tumayo. "Kukuha lang ako ng extra plates.""Maraming salamat," ngiti ni Ms. Santos. "Pero kasi, basa kami. Nakakahiya namang umupo sa chairs niyo na parang mga basang sisiw."I blinked twice, realizing that it must be freezing for them. Fully airconditioned pa naman yung bahay. "I'm sorry for that," sabi ko at dali-daling lumapit sa AC para hinaan ito."We only have three rooms in the house," sabi ni Auntie."Okay lang. Pwede naman kaming matulog sa sala, diba?" Sagot ni Ms. Santos."No," iling ni Auntie. "I won't allow you to sleep in the living room.""You can stay in my room," presenta ko. Napalingon silang lahat sa akin. "My room is spacious enough to cater all of you. Doon nalang ako makikishare kay Kali."Tumaas ang kilay ng dalawang kapatid ni Lev. Nakangiti naman sa akin si Ms. Santos as if she's very thankful of what I've said. Si Lev naman ay napatingin sa akin na puno ng paghanga sa mga mata. What? Just because they hurt me doe
"Auntie, we need to go," sabi ni Kali.Hindi ako makagalaw. I can't seem to function well now that I saw him. Mas lalo ko nang hindi maintindihan yung nararamdaman ko. Masaya ba ako kasi nakita ko siya? Malungkot ba ako kasi alam kong hindi ko siya malalapitan. Fück!"Go? Saan?" Tanong ni Auntie habang nakahiga pa rin sa sofa. She seems really tired. Sobrang comfy na kasi ng pagkahiga niya at naabutan pa naming nakapikit ang kanyang mga mata. When she's in this state, hindi dapat namin siya dinidisturbo pero dahil sa pagmamadali, hindi na iyon naisip ni Kali. She wants us to go back home."Uwi na tayo," sagot ni Kali.Kumunot yung noo ni Auntie at napaupo, hinarap kaming dalawa. "Umuwi? Bakit? Hindi niyo ba nagustuhan yung lugar? May mga pupuntahan pa tayo bukas. It's part of the itinerary."Umiling si Kali. "The place is good, Auntie. It's one of the most beautiful places that I've been to. Pero kailangan na talaga nating umalis.""Why?" She asked. "I thought you liked it here?""We
"Are you alone?" Tanong niya.Ilang segundo din akong nakatitig sa kanya. Ano ang ginagawa niya dito? Does she needs anything from me? Wala akong maibibigay sa kanya so why is she here? "I'm sorry," iling ko. "I'm with my Auntie today. Why? May kailangan ka ba?""I wanna talk to you. It will be quick, I promise," sabi niya.Kumunot yung noo ko. "Ano?""May I take this seat?" She asked.Kahit hindi ako sigurado kung ano ang pag-uusapan namin, iginaya ko sa kanya yung bakanteng upuan na nasa harap namin. "Go ahead.""Thank you," sabi niya bago umupo. "Before we start I would like to say how beautiful you are today--""Ano po yung pag-uusapan natin?" I asked, cutting her words. She's not here to compliment me, is she? Napansin niya siguro yung pagkawalang gana ko kaya she compliments me first. Hindi niya ba ako kilala? Hindi ba nakarating sa kanya yung mga rumors kung anong klaseng tao ako? I am a snob, unfriendly, unapproachable, and definitely a person who doesn't beat around the bus
We heard the gates open. Halos magkasabay kaming napalingon dito. I heard the wheels making impact on the pebbles outside of the house. Si Auntie."Quick! Pumasok ka na sa kwarto mo!" Pagmamadali ni Kali sa akin.As I was told, I ran upstairs before Auntie could get in. Dali-dali pa akong nagbihis ng pambahay at winasak yung buhok. I immediately went to bed and covered myself with the comforter."Nasaan si Kaia? Alam kong wala siya dito!" I could hear Auntie's voice echoing in the hallways."N-Nasa silid niya lang po!" Sagot ni Kali."I am not a fool, Kali. Narinig ko na magkasama sila ng batang Laurier at nagtanan pa raw. Kaya pala you two are becoming suspiscious." Sabi ni Auntie."Nagsasabi po kami ng totoo!" Kali insisted. "Hindi pa rin niya ginalaw yung pagkain niya. Hindi din namin nakitang lumabas ng silid kaya imposibleng nakipagtanan yun.""Siguro hindi niyo napansin o di kaya'y alam niyo pero nagbubulag-bulagan lang kayo." Auntie paused. "Kapag wala si Kaia pagkabukas ko ng
"A-Ano?""Hindi na naabutan ni Lev si Mommy and it is all because of you! Grabe! Ang lupet mo no? You ruined my brother's reputation and where were you when everyone was bullying him? Wala! Nagtago ka at sarili mo lang yung iniisip mo!" She shouted.I was left in shock. People were bullying him? Hindi ko 'yan alam! Damn! What happened while I was gone? Was it really my fault? Yes, it was. Kung hindi sana ako gumawa ng tanginang ruse na ito edi sana hindi kami nagkilala ni Lev. I wouldn't have to ruin his life. He told me that we should runaway. Pumayag naman ako kasi siya naman kasama ko. He mentioned how his family started disowning him and I didn't know the deeper meaning of that. Bobo mo, Kaia! Hindi mo man lang naitanong sa kanya kung kumusta siya. Siguro tama mga kapatid niya— that you only think about yourself. "Nasaan si Lev?" I asked. "Is he okay?""Lev? You think papayagan ka naming makipagkita sa kanya? Sa lahat ng ginawa mo?" The other sibling scoffed."Alam mo na may ma
"What?!" Nagising ako dahil sa boses ni Lev. Unti-unti kong minulat ang aking mga mata at nakitang umaga na pala. Siguro nasa 9 am na. But what made Lev shout like that?Napalingon ako sa kanya and he's already standing. Nasa tenga niya yung phone niya. He's talking to someone and I can tell that something is wrong. Nakakunot ang kanyang noo at pakurap-kurap na din yung mga mata niya. It seems like he's in a hurry. Dali-dali niya din kasing isinuot yung lower niya na nasa sahig."I'm coming."Binaba niya yung tawag at dali-daling nagbihis."Lev? What's going on?" I asked.Napalingon siya sa akin at pilit ngumti. "I'm sorry, baby, but we need to go.""Go? Where?""I'll explain while we're on the way. Magbihis ka na at ihanda yung mga gamit mo." Sabi niya at pumasok sa banyo.Naguguluhan man ay ginawa ko yung utos niya. Pumasok na din ako sa banyo para maghilamos at magsipilyo. After that, I prepared my things. Buti nalang hindi ko inilabas lahat ng gamit ko sa bag. It took me a few mi
How am I feeling? I am devoured by jealousy. Paano nagawa ni Lev na talikuran ako only to face the other woman? Lasing siya, Kaia. Hindi niya alam ang kanyang ginagawa.Pero sabi nila, you are most honest when you are drunk. What is this, Lev?"Nagkagusto ka sa akin?" Tanong ni Patty na halata namang namumula na. Ewan ko ba kung sa alak o dahil sa biglaang pag-amin.Lev nodded. "Oo. Well we were young and I had to admit how I admire you."Huh! In-explain pa talaga!"Ano?" Tumawa si Patty. "Dahan-dahan lang, Lev. Hindi kita maintindihan.""Wala!" Iling ni Lev. "Ano lang. Hinahangaan kita noon. Ang bait mo kasi sa akin at minsan lang ako makakita nang babaeng lulusong sa ilalim ng araw. Walang kaarte-arte."Hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling ikompara sa kanya. Maarte ako. Ayokong naiinitan at mas lalong ayokong amoy-araw ako. I was raised to be prim and proper and adventures like what they did when they were young don't interest me. Napaisip tuloy ako. Iyan ba ang mga tipo ni Lev? Yung hi