I stared at myself in front of the mirror. I refuse to let a single drop of tear ruined my make up. Today is the day, the day when Lev is going to wed. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako pumayag na pumunta. I told myself that I would never attend his wedding. Kaya nga ako nangabilang-bansa kasi umiiwas ako. But he crossed borders just to see me. Just to invite me to his wedding.Minsan naisip ko na may galit ba siya sa akin. Does he want me to suffer? Or did he assumed that I was okay with this, that I moved on? Does it look like that?Pero kahit pa anong pagkamuhi ko sa mga nangyayari, I still invited myself to be hurt. Talagang sumang-ayon akong dumalo. For what, Kaia? For respect? For you not to look pitiful?"Are you ready?" Tanong ni Kali sa akin.Mapait akong ngumiti. "Yeah.""Tara na!"Kali's invited as well. Akala ko pa nga pipigilan ako ni Kali. But no. She's supportive on my decisions. Hindi ko alam kung saan yung kasal kasi I didn't bother looking at the invitation. Kali knows.Mari
"So what are you trying to say?" He asked as he stared down at me, trying to read what's running in my head.I can't blame him. Kung ako man ang nasa posisyon niya ay paniguradong maguguluhan din ako. Who would expect a woman would suddenly approach to man and tries to make an unexpected deal. Even I surprised myself. "I'm saying to make a ruse," I paused. "Isipin mo. If we pretend that we are in love and get married, I could finally be free from my aunt, and you will not disappoint your Mom before she... you know what I mean.""That's absurd. We couldn't pretend to love," He argued."We can! If we just fake everything then it wouldn't be so hard. No feelings attached.""Paano natin 'yan masasabi? How can we say that feelings would never be involved?" He asked."Pagkatapos nating magpakasal, we'll still do the charades. We'll just wait for a few months or years and then we'll get divorce," I replied."Ayoko," He said firmly.I rolled my eyes. Akala ko madali lang kumbinsihin ang isan
"To get married?!" I exclaimed. "Are you crazy?" "I'm not crazy. I am dead serious," She sighed. "If you want to be independent, then marry someone this season." "Pero ayoko!" I insisted. "Pwede naman akong maging independent na hindi kailangan magpakasal. I have a job and I can completely satisfy my needs and wants. Nasa tamang edad na din ako. Why won't you let me go!" "Kasi nangako ako sa Daddy mo!" She bursts. Napahinto ako. He promised Dad? "What do you mean?" "Before my brother died, I promised to raise you until you get married," She paused. "Kaya kung ano man ang binabalak mong gawin para makawala sa akin ay itigil mo na. Walang saysay din 'yan kasi malalaman at malalaman ko din." "What would you do if I escaped?" I asked. "I'll have your account frozen," She smirked. "You can't do that." "Fortunately for me, I can. And that is unfortunate for you," she smirked. "You have no other choice, do you?" I stared at her, totally losing hope. Tama nga siya. Kahit ano pa an
"It depends. Are you here for it?" He asked back.I squinted my eyes. That's a bit rude, answering my question with another question. Napangiti naLang ako at yumuko saglit. I'm not sure if he's hitting on me or just beating the bush. "Bakit, Mr. Laurier? Are you interested in me?" I asked before meeting his eyes.He chuckled. "I'm not the type who falls in love at first sight.""That's a rude way of saying I'm unattractive," Taas-kilay kong sabi sa kanya."I didn't say that!" He defended himself. "Ikaw? Unattractive? Hindi mo ba nakita ang mga lalakeng nakapila sa'yo?"Nilingon niya yung mga lalaki sa party. Sinundan ko yung tingin niya at doon ko nakita na sa akin pala nakatingin ang karamahiman. May it be men or the women, I'm not really sure if they are looking at me or Lev. Basta nasa amin yung mga mata nila."I would say the same to you. Looks like every girl is interested in asking you for a dance," Turo ko sa mga babae."Girls wouldn't ask me. That would look improper and unla
"It was an accident... Yes. They didn't mean to be scandalous. Someone obviously bumped on my niece and the young Laurier, as the gentleman he is, was only trying save her... Yes. It was all a misunderstanding. Thank you." Binaba ni Auntie yung telepono niya at napatingin sa akin."I'm sorry," Sambit ko.Hindi ako yung tipo na nanghihingi ng pasensya but this time, I felt like it was entirely my fault. After what happened earlier, when Lev and I kissed, a lot have been calling my Aunt, asking if there has been something going on between us. Sinasabi ng iba na ang bastos raw namin para maglaplapan sa harap ng lahat. Idagdag mo pa na magkasabay kaming pumasok. Well, it wasn't laplapan naman. It took a few seconds at tamang dampi lang naman at halatang hindi namin inaasahan. People tend exaggerate things."Where have you been?" She asked, disappointed. "Bakit magkasabay kayong pumasok kasama si Laurier?"Kumunot yung noo ko. "Sinabi na naman namin kanina, diba?""I know that it wasn't ju
I parked the car outside the house. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Alam kong komplikado ang gagawin namin pero we don't have a choice. Sumang-ayon na si Lev sa plano ko. He and I will start to act as if we are each other's type. We will take it slow kasi baka magtaka sila na ang bilis naman naming mahulog sa isa't-isa. That's not really convincing.Hindi ko din mapigilan ang makaramdam ng ease. Kasi nga okay na si Lev tungkol dito. Although alam ko naman na labag sa kalooban niya. But he sees it as an opportunity knocking on his door so he grabbed it but with hesitations. Hindi ko siya masisisi. Kahit nga ako ay nakakaramdam ng kaba. Lumabas na ako ng sasakyan at naglakad papasok sa bahay. Napatingin ako sa kabuuan nito. Konting kembot nalang ay makakaalis na din ako dito. I smiled at the thought. Inabot ko yung siradora para pagbuksan ang sarili."Surprise!" May biglang sumigaw.Bumilog ang aking mga mata nang makita kung sino ito. Her hair is brown and curly. Mamahalin din yung suot niya
"I see that you were having fun," Sabi ni Lev sa akin."I can't say no to him. Anak ng Presidente. At isa pa, everyone was looking at me. Alangan namang ire-reject ko siya," I defended myself.Lev and I are both sitting in the table with foods in our plates. Si Kali? Hindi ko na alam kung nasaan siya. I didn't bother looking for her kasi naging busy na din ako. "I didn't say you should have rejected him," Iling niya. "I just thought that we should stick together.""Right," I nodded. "I'm sorry."Dapat pala hindi na ako nag-entertain ng mga lalaki. I should have been pretending that Lev got my interest and my attention should only be his. Same goes to him. Ganun din dapat."It's fine. Gaya ng sabi mo, bastos din tingnan kong umayaw ka kanina."Tumango lang ako at sumubo ulit ng pagkain. Masarap naman yung pagkain pero wala akong gana. Sayang kasi kung hindi ko kakainin. Mukhang mamahalin pa naman. "Anyway, hindi ka yata late?" I asked."Oh. That." He nodded. "I had to take care of my
KALI'S POV"Bakit ang bait mo?" He asked me as I assist him going up to his condo unit."Do I need a reason to be kind?" Iling ko. Konti nalang mararating na namin yung unit niya. I knew that I wouldn't let him be in that party, drunk. Baka ano pa ang gagawin niya. Let's just say I'm a little interested in him. He told me kasi tungkol sa mom niya and I felt sympathy towards him. It must have been so hard for him. Nagtataka nga ako kung bakit nasa party siya at hindi niya kasama Mommy niya. But then again, maybe he wants to divert his attention to something else. However, he ended up drunk, thinking the same problem over and over again."I just didn't expect this from you," He chuckled. "Girls like me still exists," I replied and we both stopped in front of his door. "Ano yung pin?"Kumalas siya sa hawak ko at pagewang-gewang na lumapit sa pintuan. He started pressing the numbers which I quickly looked away. I know privacy and I don't want to take advantage of him being drunk. I have
I stared at myself in front of the mirror. I refuse to let a single drop of tear ruined my make up. Today is the day, the day when Lev is going to wed. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako pumayag na pumunta. I told myself that I would never attend his wedding. Kaya nga ako nangabilang-bansa kasi umiiwas ako. But he crossed borders just to see me. Just to invite me to his wedding.Minsan naisip ko na may galit ba siya sa akin. Does he want me to suffer? Or did he assumed that I was okay with this, that I moved on? Does it look like that?Pero kahit pa anong pagkamuhi ko sa mga nangyayari, I still invited myself to be hurt. Talagang sumang-ayon akong dumalo. For what, Kaia? For respect? For you not to look pitiful?"Are you ready?" Tanong ni Kali sa akin.Mapait akong ngumiti. "Yeah.""Tara na!"Kali's invited as well. Akala ko pa nga pipigilan ako ni Kali. But no. She's supportive on my decisions. Hindi ko alam kung saan yung kasal kasi I didn't bother looking at the invitation. Kali knows.Mari
Four months later, I busied myself. I went to Italy to follow my dreams. This time, hindi tumutol si Auntie. She supported me together with Kali. Masaya ako kasi ito lang naman ang hinihiling ko sa kanya, to support me. It took a lot of obstacles just to get here and it is all worth it.Sabay na kami ni Kali pumunta ng Europe. She have a project within the area at sakto namang papunta ako dito. We stayed in the same apartment and supported each other. Si Auntie naman ay naiwan sa Pinas. I told her that she should start meeting men. She will not stay young forever."Kaia, I'll go ahead. Baka hindi agad ako makauwi mamaya so kumain ka nalang nang wala ako," paalam ni Kali."Okay, Kali. Mag-ingat ka!" I waved my hand at her."Bye!"She then closed the door behind her. Naiwan na naman akong mag-isa. Tapos na kasi yung class ko sa morning and so I have the afternoon all for myself. Napalingon ako sa bag ko ang something was peeking from the inside. Lumapit ako dito at kinuha yun. Napahint
"C-Come join us!" Utal na aya ni Kali at agad tumayo. "Kukuha lang ako ng extra plates.""Maraming salamat," ngiti ni Ms. Santos. "Pero kasi, basa kami. Nakakahiya namang umupo sa chairs niyo na parang mga basang sisiw."I blinked twice, realizing that it must be freezing for them. Fully airconditioned pa naman yung bahay. "I'm sorry for that," sabi ko at dali-daling lumapit sa AC para hinaan ito."We only have three rooms in the house," sabi ni Auntie."Okay lang. Pwede naman kaming matulog sa sala, diba?" Sagot ni Ms. Santos."No," iling ni Auntie. "I won't allow you to sleep in the living room.""You can stay in my room," presenta ko. Napalingon silang lahat sa akin. "My room is spacious enough to cater all of you. Doon nalang ako makikishare kay Kali."Tumaas ang kilay ng dalawang kapatid ni Lev. Nakangiti naman sa akin si Ms. Santos as if she's very thankful of what I've said. Si Lev naman ay napatingin sa akin na puno ng paghanga sa mga mata. What? Just because they hurt me doe
"Auntie, we need to go," sabi ni Kali.Hindi ako makagalaw. I can't seem to function well now that I saw him. Mas lalo ko nang hindi maintindihan yung nararamdaman ko. Masaya ba ako kasi nakita ko siya? Malungkot ba ako kasi alam kong hindi ko siya malalapitan. Fück!"Go? Saan?" Tanong ni Auntie habang nakahiga pa rin sa sofa. She seems really tired. Sobrang comfy na kasi ng pagkahiga niya at naabutan pa naming nakapikit ang kanyang mga mata. When she's in this state, hindi dapat namin siya dinidisturbo pero dahil sa pagmamadali, hindi na iyon naisip ni Kali. She wants us to go back home."Uwi na tayo," sagot ni Kali.Kumunot yung noo ni Auntie at napaupo, hinarap kaming dalawa. "Umuwi? Bakit? Hindi niyo ba nagustuhan yung lugar? May mga pupuntahan pa tayo bukas. It's part of the itinerary."Umiling si Kali. "The place is good, Auntie. It's one of the most beautiful places that I've been to. Pero kailangan na talaga nating umalis.""Why?" She asked. "I thought you liked it here?""We
"Are you alone?" Tanong niya.Ilang segundo din akong nakatitig sa kanya. Ano ang ginagawa niya dito? Does she needs anything from me? Wala akong maibibigay sa kanya so why is she here? "I'm sorry," iling ko. "I'm with my Auntie today. Why? May kailangan ka ba?""I wanna talk to you. It will be quick, I promise," sabi niya.Kumunot yung noo ko. "Ano?""May I take this seat?" She asked.Kahit hindi ako sigurado kung ano ang pag-uusapan namin, iginaya ko sa kanya yung bakanteng upuan na nasa harap namin. "Go ahead.""Thank you," sabi niya bago umupo. "Before we start I would like to say how beautiful you are today--""Ano po yung pag-uusapan natin?" I asked, cutting her words. She's not here to compliment me, is she? Napansin niya siguro yung pagkawalang gana ko kaya she compliments me first. Hindi niya ba ako kilala? Hindi ba nakarating sa kanya yung mga rumors kung anong klaseng tao ako? I am a snob, unfriendly, unapproachable, and definitely a person who doesn't beat around the bus
We heard the gates open. Halos magkasabay kaming napalingon dito. I heard the wheels making impact on the pebbles outside of the house. Si Auntie."Quick! Pumasok ka na sa kwarto mo!" Pagmamadali ni Kali sa akin.As I was told, I ran upstairs before Auntie could get in. Dali-dali pa akong nagbihis ng pambahay at winasak yung buhok. I immediately went to bed and covered myself with the comforter."Nasaan si Kaia? Alam kong wala siya dito!" I could hear Auntie's voice echoing in the hallways."N-Nasa silid niya lang po!" Sagot ni Kali."I am not a fool, Kali. Narinig ko na magkasama sila ng batang Laurier at nagtanan pa raw. Kaya pala you two are becoming suspiscious." Sabi ni Auntie."Nagsasabi po kami ng totoo!" Kali insisted. "Hindi pa rin niya ginalaw yung pagkain niya. Hindi din namin nakitang lumabas ng silid kaya imposibleng nakipagtanan yun.""Siguro hindi niyo napansin o di kaya'y alam niyo pero nagbubulag-bulagan lang kayo." Auntie paused. "Kapag wala si Kaia pagkabukas ko ng
"A-Ano?""Hindi na naabutan ni Lev si Mommy and it is all because of you! Grabe! Ang lupet mo no? You ruined my brother's reputation and where were you when everyone was bullying him? Wala! Nagtago ka at sarili mo lang yung iniisip mo!" She shouted.I was left in shock. People were bullying him? Hindi ko 'yan alam! Damn! What happened while I was gone? Was it really my fault? Yes, it was. Kung hindi sana ako gumawa ng tanginang ruse na ito edi sana hindi kami nagkilala ni Lev. I wouldn't have to ruin his life. He told me that we should runaway. Pumayag naman ako kasi siya naman kasama ko. He mentioned how his family started disowning him and I didn't know the deeper meaning of that. Bobo mo, Kaia! Hindi mo man lang naitanong sa kanya kung kumusta siya. Siguro tama mga kapatid niya— that you only think about yourself. "Nasaan si Lev?" I asked. "Is he okay?""Lev? You think papayagan ka naming makipagkita sa kanya? Sa lahat ng ginawa mo?" The other sibling scoffed."Alam mo na may ma
"What?!" Nagising ako dahil sa boses ni Lev. Unti-unti kong minulat ang aking mga mata at nakitang umaga na pala. Siguro nasa 9 am na. But what made Lev shout like that?Napalingon ako sa kanya and he's already standing. Nasa tenga niya yung phone niya. He's talking to someone and I can tell that something is wrong. Nakakunot ang kanyang noo at pakurap-kurap na din yung mga mata niya. It seems like he's in a hurry. Dali-dali niya din kasing isinuot yung lower niya na nasa sahig."I'm coming."Binaba niya yung tawag at dali-daling nagbihis."Lev? What's going on?" I asked.Napalingon siya sa akin at pilit ngumti. "I'm sorry, baby, but we need to go.""Go? Where?""I'll explain while we're on the way. Magbihis ka na at ihanda yung mga gamit mo." Sabi niya at pumasok sa banyo.Naguguluhan man ay ginawa ko yung utos niya. Pumasok na din ako sa banyo para maghilamos at magsipilyo. After that, I prepared my things. Buti nalang hindi ko inilabas lahat ng gamit ko sa bag. It took me a few mi
How am I feeling? I am devoured by jealousy. Paano nagawa ni Lev na talikuran ako only to face the other woman? Lasing siya, Kaia. Hindi niya alam ang kanyang ginagawa.Pero sabi nila, you are most honest when you are drunk. What is this, Lev?"Nagkagusto ka sa akin?" Tanong ni Patty na halata namang namumula na. Ewan ko ba kung sa alak o dahil sa biglaang pag-amin.Lev nodded. "Oo. Well we were young and I had to admit how I admire you."Huh! In-explain pa talaga!"Ano?" Tumawa si Patty. "Dahan-dahan lang, Lev. Hindi kita maintindihan.""Wala!" Iling ni Lev. "Ano lang. Hinahangaan kita noon. Ang bait mo kasi sa akin at minsan lang ako makakita nang babaeng lulusong sa ilalim ng araw. Walang kaarte-arte."Hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling ikompara sa kanya. Maarte ako. Ayokong naiinitan at mas lalong ayokong amoy-araw ako. I was raised to be prim and proper and adventures like what they did when they were young don't interest me. Napaisip tuloy ako. Iyan ba ang mga tipo ni Lev? Yung hi