CHAPTER 6: THE VOICES

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

I heard the voices of a lot of people from nowhere as if they were whispering to me. This time it is not just one voice but three. I know it is the woman that I saw inside my late dad’s room who is whispering that she can’t take it while weeping but now I heard a voice of a man too and like the woman he is weeping too. I looked around to see who it was. Maybe there’s some students joking at me or trying to scare me but no one was around. I am alone walking in the hallway while the others are inside their respective classrooms having their class.  

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“No” The girl cried, while the man wept. I don’t know why I am hearing those voices. It gives me a headache. I want to scream to reduce the whispers in this cold and quiet hallway but I don’t want to disturb others who are having their class. I looked around again when I heard a laugh from a girl who sounds like playing and then a man who came near her. The laugh turns into a  weep and fear from a man who approached her. I heard the woman that I saw whisper again. I think there are four voices in my head. The woman, the man, the boy, and the girl. The voices continued whispering and this time they got louder and louder. That makes me deaf to the noises that I don’t know if they are real or just from my head. I covered my ears and sat in the middle of the hallway because my head was aching. I feel like there’s energy that is pulling me down and I feel like I want to vomit. My sweat is falling like tidbits and my hands are cold while still covering my ears. 

“I can’t take this, I can’t this”  The woman whispered,

“No,” the girl whispered and then laughed.

“Come on, let’s play” From the boy, he asked the girl to play with him but the girl cried and got scared of him.

“I don’t know what is happening?” The man wept and the car crashed.

“What are you doing there?” Devon asked. I didn’t answer but I looked at him. Scared. He sat beside me and I closed my eyes because I am confused now. I don’t know if he is real or not. 

“Hey, what’s up dude?” He asked and grabbed my hand trying to pull me back from my senses. I looked at him and hugged him because he pulled me back to my senses, and thank God because he is real. 

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked, wondering.

“Can you hear them?” I asked him but he just looked at me. Trying to absorb what I asked him. I heard the voices slowly fading and I looked around. The voices were gone. All I heard now are the teachers having their classes inside the classrooms. 

“Well I can hear Sir Ross' voice and he’s starting the class now. We are already late,” He answered and he helped me stand up. I touched my head again because it is still aching a bit but I am fine. The voices were gone and I hope the voices never come back.

Carrying our bags and wearing almost the same clothes. Jeans, shirts, and sneakers we went inside to attend our class. We passed at the back so that we would not disturb the class. I sat at the vacant chair and he sat beside me. Sir Ross is our documentary Professor and I think he is just ten years ahead of us. He is a new teacher. Young and cool but strict in class. 

“Documentary is providing a factual record or report through written, television or radio but since then we are in a generation of technology. We can use other means of social media such as Youtube.” He discussed it while holding a piece of paper and paused for a moment to check the time on his wristwatch.

“You will have a documentary project” He added and looked at us again. 

“You will document events whether it is political events, historical events, paranormal… it depends on you and I will give you one month to do it,” He said while still looking at us.

I looked outside the window when I heard the word “documentary” Because I remembered last year. With my friends, colleagues, and the man that I loved. We are about to go to Baguio and the unexpected happens that kills them all. That until now it hurts me because the wound is already healed but it left a scar. I took a deep breath and looked back at Sir Ross. I feel a shiver when I saw the woman who took suicide swinging dead at the back of Sir Ross. Her feet are touching the

back of his neck and he touches it for a second and then goes back from what he is doing. Maybe she can feel the feet but ignores it.  My eyes grew wide and I looked around to see if my classmates could see it but they didn't. It seems that I am the only one who can see her swinging dead in our classroom’s ceiling. 

“I will give you two days to find your team… Five students in a team and give the list of your names to me… I am just in a faculty” He said and he fixed his things and put them inside his bag and looked at us again innocently. While I am staring at the dead woman.

“I can’t take this… I can’t take this... I can’t take this” The cold voice whispers again and this time I can feel the cold breath on my ears.  I closed my eyes to get rid of it but it won’t stop. I noticed that the more I want to get rid of it the more I can hear it. Same with the weird things that I see the more I think that they are not real, the more I can see them. 

“See you tomorrow students and pick wisely,” He said. I opened my eyes and looked at them. Devon is secretly rolling a paper inside his bag; He is making a foil pipe for his weed while looking at Sir Ross and pretends that he is answering because he is pretending that he is listening. While the others are so excited to go home, the class is finally done. I looked at the woman again but she was gone.

“Come on, let’s go to the mango tree,” He said and closed his bag and put his pipe inside his pocket. I stand up and we leave the classroom like the other students. He tried to hold my hand while walking but I refused and walked ahead of him while smiling. I know he is smiling too while looking at me and following me. 

We went to the mango tree and we put our bags on the ground and sat on the bench. The wind blew cold because of the plants and the grass that surrounded the mango tree and of course the mango tree itself. It is so relaxing and peaceful because the only thing that we can hear loud is the chirping of the birds. We are from the buildings of each department, far from the cafeteria, far from a group of students, and far from the basketball gym, playground. I like the atmosphere whenever I am under the mango tree.  Devon takes his pipe under his pocket and puts weed inside. Of course, he likes it here more because he is free to smoke his weed. He smoked his weed and asked me if he wanted to try while coughing and giving me the pipe that he is holding. I looked at it for a moment and took it from him. I want to give it a try out of my curiosity and maybe it can help me from the voices that I can hear and the weird things that I can see. I put it in my mouth and he lit it. He told me that I need to do it like I am drinking a soft drink using a straw because he knows that it is my first time and that is what I did. Like drinking a soft drink using a straw that makes me cough after. He laughs and congratulates me and welcomes me to the weed world. 

“Your eyes are red now,” He said softly while staring at me. I feel like I am a stone because I am stoned. 

I feel so relaxed while the wind is kissing my cheek and blowing my hair. The wind is getting colder. Devon took his pentel pen inside his bag and stood up. He went to the mango tree and wrote DEVISH in capital letters. The mix of our name Devon + Irish = Devish. and I don’t know why he wrote it but it is kind of sweet.

“What is that for?” I asked and he sat beside me.

“For our friendship that wouldn’t last long” He answered while staring at those kindergarteners playing at the playground. One hundred steps away from us.

“Why not?” I asked

“Because we will be lovers soon” He answered without hesitation while still staring at those kids playing and enjoying themselves under the bright sun. 

I smiled and looked at him because I know I am not ready and I don’t know until when I will not be ready because Jayvee’s death is still fresh to me and I know deep inside my heart that I still love him. He smiled and looked at me.

“I am not in a rush,” He said and looked back at those kids. We can hear them laughing. 

“It is impossible that you will fall in love with me,” I said

“Why not?” He asked

“Because I am weird” I answered and he laughed and held my hand but this time I let him hold me. I remember Jayvee and the way he held my hand. It is so soft and gentle like Devon right now. 

“Let’s be weird together,” He said. 

I know he doesn't understand what I said because he doesn’t know me well but soon I hope he will understand because what I feel right now is not easy. I need someone to talk to about it. The person who is not going to laugh at me, the person who will believe me and I think that is him. I silently looked at him while he was still holding my hand and watching those kids playing. We let the cold wind kiss our faces. I feel relaxed now when I tried his weed. Now I know why he is smoking weed. While watching those kids. I suddenly saw the girl that I saw before the bus fall off the cliff. The girl who let me out of hell. She is sitting at the swing beside the cute little girl who is eating her sandwich and drinking her juice. I can see her eyes from here and it is full of anger, sadness, pains, and hopelessness. She looks at me and that makes me scared again in an instant. I don’t know if I am just high because of the weeds or if I am really seeing her with my two eyes. I looked at Devon to see if he could see her too but I guess he was not. 

“I can't take this”

“I can't take this” The voice starts to whisper again while the girl is still looking at me and she stands up while the voice still keeps on whispering in my ears. I don’t know if Devon can hear it too but he looks so calm. So I guess I am the only one who can hear it. 

“I can’t take this”

“I can’t take this”

“I can’t take this” 

I heard the man weep and the car crashed. The girl stands up while still staring at me without blinking. I got more scared when she suddenly crawled towards me. She crawled with her hands and legs folded and she crawled fast. Faster than the jaguar that makes my heart beat fast and shiver. The voice is getting nearer too as she crawls on the ground. I hold Devon’s hand tight and close my eyes when she is near me because I am scared to see her face to face.

“Help me,” She said with a cold breath that almost kissed my face, and then she’s gone. The voices are gone too. I know she is gone.

“Are you okay?” He asked when he saw me, closed eyes and scared. I opened my eyes and the girl was really gone and I confirmed that Devon didn’t see her.

“Yes,” I said and I looked at him and wet my lips. My heart is still beating fast and my hands are cold not with the wind but because of what I saw.

“I want to go home now,” I said

“Okay, I will walk you home,” He said and we carried our bags and he walked me home. Our school is just a walk away from home and I found out that he is just living two streets away from our home.

“See you tomorrow,” He said with a smile

I smiled back at him and “Thanks for walking me home” I said.

“No problem” And he turned his back and left. I watched him walk away before I closed the gate.

“That is good that you are dating someone now,” My mother said. I didn’t know that she was standing behind me. I walk near her and give her a hug.

“I am not dating him and he is not my boyfriend,” I said and she smiled.

“But he likes you” 

“We are just friends”

“Okay” She agreed but before I went inside my room. She called me and I looked back at her.

“I want you to enjoy life,” She said. I didn’t say anything but I smiled at her.

I went inside my room and closed the door. I put my bag on the floor and lay down on my bed. I took a deep breath because it is my first time walking home and it is kind of special to me. Before Jayvee always dropped me off with his motorbike but right now I walk with Devon and I found it sweet even though I wouldn't admit it. I know my mother is worried about seeing me lifeless and hopeless; Of course. She is scared to lose me. She already lost her husband and I know she can’t take losing her daughter. Her only daughter. I lifted my hand up and looked at it. I suddenly remember Devon’s hand and how he holds my hand. I don’t know but it makes me smile and I put my hand close to my lips and kiss it while thinking of Devon.