CHAPTER 8: THE SUBJECT

I talked to Devon about what happened to me last night and he just laughed and told me that he already knew. I asked him how he knew it because I felt shy when he already knew about it before I told him. He said that his friends who saw me having my sleepwalk told him that my mom and Nana Salve are following me. They almost slept because I walk too fast; almost running. I couldn't look at him and he noticed that I couldn't look at him because I am not just shy but also embarrassed. I didn’t know that I would have a sleepwalk and that is totally off for me. 

“Hey, Don’t frown,” He said while still laughing. I don’t know if she is laughing at me or she is laughing because I sleepwalked last night and a couple of people saw me and some of them are his friends, but neither of the two is still the same. It is so embarrassing.

“You know what?” He asked me and stopped laughing. He looked at me and pinched me on my face like a kid.

“You rock!” He said.

“When I heard about it… I was like… wow! that’s cool” He added trying to make me smile. 

“So don’t worry about it,” He said and he tapped my shoulder and he stood up and called the ice cream vendor. He went near him and he bought ice cream for the two of us. He went back with ice cream on a cone on his two hands. One for me and one for him. He looked at me and he pretended that he would lick the ice cream that he would give me. When I stared at him and raised my eyebrow. He smiled. He gave the ice cream to me and he sat beside me. I lick the ice cream and say “thank you.” The three-colored ice cream reminds me of my dad when he was still alive. He used to buy me ice cream wherever we go because that is his favorite. That is why he wants to enjoy the moment of eating it with me. The ice cream is delicious when I lick it. I can taste the cream rather than the sugar and I think it has three different flavors. One is yellow, which I think is mango because it tastes like mango, while the pink one tastes like strawberry and the brown one tastes like chocolate.  Three flavors in one cone that has the face of the teddy bear, makes me feel young again while licking the ice cream that he treats me.

“This is much better than the branded Ice cream, right?” He asked while continuing licking on his ice cream. I didn’t answer because I am busy licking mine too. I just looked at him to show that I agree with what he said. 

“This is more creamy than sugary,” He said while still licking the ice cream like a kid and wiping the ice cream that had dropped on his shirt. 

“Is this homemade?” I asked while finishing mine.

“Yeah, I think because most of the commercial ice creams are more sugar than cream” He answered.

“So, that is how you based the commercial ice cream from the homemade ice cream?” I asked again but he didn’t answer because he is busy finishing his ice cream; He just nodded instead.

Devon is my only friend here in our subdivision because I became distant when I became weird before the accident. My friends, which I thought were my real friends, left me and now I have become weirder after the accident. Of course, they will not like me to be their friends anymore because I became weirder but I don’t care as long as I am with this guy beside me and we are just sitting, chilling at the playground inside our subdivision. While the kids are busy playing. He is busy looking around like a child. He's a little childish for me but he is cool and rock. I don’t know why I just know him now. Maybe because I am too busy with Jayvee when he is still alive and maybe it is God’s way that he needs to take Jayvee away from me so that I will notice this guy beside me. I finished my ice cream and I ate the cone. It was so delicious and I really enjoyed it or maybe I enjoyed my ice cream because of Devon.

Devon is a simple, handsome guy. He loves rock and new wave music and he sees everything as “cool”. I know he is smart even though he is just a happy-go-lucky guy. We both watched the kids playing; some of them brought their toys and shared it with their friends while the others were busy playing with their dogs. There are some adults watching them too. I guess it’s their parents or guardians. The playground is a nice place to relax. The wind is cold, The atmosphere is so peaceful. No heavy horns, pollution, and noise. The only noise that you can hear is from the children playing and enjoying themselves. Their laughter, their scream because they are having a good day playing, is enough for me. I feel like I missed my childhood. What happened to my childhood by the way? I suddenly asked myself. Oh, I enjoy it with my dad… the ice cream thing I answered to myself when I suddenly remembered about it. 

“I want more,” He said a few seconds after finishing his ice cream. He realized that he wants more. He looked around to find the ice cream vendor but the vendor is no longer around. 

I remember my nightmare last night. The reason why I sleepwalk and I want to tell him about it but I am thinking twice because I don’t know where to start for me not to sound crazy for him. I took a deep breath and looked at him and he looked at me too.

“No more, Ice cream,” He said to me making a sad face that made me smile because he is so cute. I feel like I want to pinch his face. 

“Do you want something to tell me?” He asked me when he sensed that I wanted to tell him something. I wet my lips and took a deep breath.

“It is about my dream last night” I answered and he looked at me with a question “and then?” 

“It might sound weird but I dreamt about the girl… which I think she’s only 10 years old and she was raped and killed by five men which I… I don’t see their faces” I answered but he remained silent. 

“Ah okay… I… uh… ---” I said, feeling uneasy now.

“Never mind,” I told him and looked away.

“Why never mind?” He asked and he touched my face and made me look at him.

“I am waiting for you to tell me about it… the whole of it” He said and let go of my face because I was already facing him. 

“I want her to be our subject in our documentary because I feel like she needs help” 

“How are we going to do that?” He asked but I didn’t answer because I don’t know.

“Can you see her for real?” He asked again but I didn’t answer again.

“Is she here?” I didn’t answer because I am thinking about how we are going to do it as our subject if she is not real. If it is me and only I can see and hear the girl.

“I heard about the story of a girl… a young girl, probably a kid” He started and made it clear that it was a kid. A child as young as what I dreamt.

“Who was raped and killed inside their house while her parents are out of town” He added that gives spark to me. I looked at him because I wanted him to tell me more about it.

“The investigation said that it was robbery… those robbers raped and killed the girl and stabbed her older brother and then threw the girl to the pool” He continued that makes my eyes wide open because that is the exact nightmare that I dreamt last night and I want him to tell me more.

“Where did you hear that?” I asked him with excitement to know about it. Maybe we can solve her case. 

“I remember it was a rumor here… I think it was ten years ago and I also read it from the newspaper,” he answered. I got so excited because the girl is not just in my nightmare but she is real because Devon told me exactly the same thing in my nightmare. I didn't tell him about it but he already knew. It means it happened.

“Do you still have the newspaper?” I asked him.

“It wasn’t mine and besides it was ten years ago… but we can research it online… maybe we can get some information,” He answered. 

“You think we will find something about it if we research it?” I asked again. Making sure and getting excited.

He didn’t answer but he nodded because he was busy looking around again and he suddenly stood up and went somewhere leaving me alone sitting at the bench while the wind was blowing my hair and kissing my face but it doesn’t matter fixing my hair. The wind will blow it again anyway. I am thinking about our subject and how to start. I really want to solve the girl’s case and I will name it. “Mysterious girl” because I feel like there’s something in it that I really need to know. I don’t know but I feel like I am connected to it. 

Devon went back with a hello kitty balloon and he tied it on my wrist so it would not fly and looked at it while swaying with the wind. 

“What is this?” I asked him while looking at the balloon

“A balloon”

“I mean why did you give me a balloon?” 

“For you to be happy… not to think too much”

I smiled because I was so touched by His simple gestures of thoughtfulness. That makes my world upside down. He is so sweet and gives me romantic excitement. I looked at the hello kitty balloon while it swayed with the wind. That is why he is gone for a second; just to buy me a Hello Kitty balloon. How sweet of him that touched my heart. 

“You like it?” He asked while sitting beside me and pointing at his cheek. It means that I need to give him a kiss because he gave me a balloon. I laughed at him and pinched his cheek instead. This is my first time receiving a balloon from a man. Except for my father because he wanted to buy me balloons too when I was a kid. Every Sunday after church with mom; He buys me balloons and treats me with ice cream. My Sunday is already complete with simple thoughtfulness and sweetness like that. Bonus points if we go to the mall after church to have our lunch there. That is how my childhood works even though I don't remember the whole of it.

“No… because I love it,” I answered, which makes him smile. I didn’t notice that he was holding my hand again. That makes me smile more but I don’t want him to see me smiling that is why I looked away. 

After an hour of staying at the park, I saw a white car and blew its horn. The window went down and the man inside waved at Devon and called him. 

“Hey!” 

"What 's up amigo?” Devon asked and he let go of my hand and went to the man inside the white car. I watched him walk with the swaying hello kitty on my wrist. I know it’s his friend because Amigo is a Spanish word for  ‘friend’. The man went down from the white car and they greeted each other by the hand sign and with the slapping of the hand and then they both looked at me and looked at each other and talked. As if they hadn't seen each other for a long time. 

While watching them from afar. I hear the scratching again that hurts my ear. I guess it’s a metal scratching with static on it. That is so very irritating. I covered my ears and I saw the white car suddenly explode and the people around the car panic.

“No,” I whispered because Devon is there near the car with his friend but I don’t see him around. He was just gone with his friend. The fire is growing bigger and bigger that can light the whole playground. I want to stand up and run to Devon but he is gone. I saw a man inside the car and it looked like him. I didn’t see him go inside the car. Maybe because I am staring at the Hello Kitty balloon that he gave me. I want to run to the burning car because I saw him inside but I suddenly ask myself “What if it is not real?” “What if my brain and my eyes are just tricking me again?” I don’t want to run there and scream because there is a burning car and yet it is not real and I will find out that it is just all in my head. I don’t want to embarrass myself and I don’t want to embarrass him in front of his friend but what if it is real? I don’t want to just sit here and watch him burning inside the burning car. I don’t want to watch him die. I don’t want to have another Jayvee again. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I took a deep breath because I don’t know what to do. I panic but I can’t move. My head starts to ache again while my heart starts to beat faster than normal. I don’t know what to do. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.