CHAPTER 16: THE DEAD

“Who is the murderer now?”

“Who is the murderer now?”

“Who is the murderer now?”

The question continues to whisper in my head repeatedly. I looked under my bed for one last time and the body is still there. That makes me scared more because little by little. I will be convinced that I killed the man but “How?” a sudden question in my head that I don’t know the answer because I know to myself that I am not murder but “What is the body doing here, under my bed?” I asked myself that question. “I don’t know” is the answer because I really don’t know. I tried to remember what happened last night. I am only meditating when I fall asleep. I know I fell asleep because I left my stuff where it was and when I woke up it was still there. The candle, the incense, and the mat. Except for the hello kitty balloon that Devon gave me because as far as I know. I was tied to my chair when I woke up. It is already untied.

I shook my head and tried to remember more. I fell asleep and then I had a dream that I was walking under the full moon with my barefoot and went inside the house and killed the man there using a knife but I forgot what it looked like. Cut his throat and let him bleed to death. I murder a man inside his house but it is not me. It is the other me in my dreams. I know it is not me because I tried to find evidence such as the cutter or the notebook that I saw in my dream but I found nothing. I checked my feet and it is clean. No sign of any dirt or mud. I remember what the murder looks like and she looks exactly like me. “What is going on?” I asked myself and my head started to ache again while recalling the details about my dream. I know it is really my dream and it is not real but the body under my bed is real. I know because until now it is still here and I can touch it. My head is very confused thinking about what really happened. When I decided to check the evidence outside the house, Maybe I could find something there. “But what if I found one? What should I do? surrender me to the police?” I start to ask myself again because I am really confused and that gives me a headache again. I shake my head and take a deep breath.

“No,” I whispered. It cannot be. Trying to recall everything while trying to relax too. For me to think properly because I am starting to panic. 

I sit down while facing the body under my bed that I covered with a blanket. “How did it get here?” I asked myself that is why I recall everything from the start. That after I went to Luna’s house. I went home and started my meditation until I fell asleep and then I had a dream and I saw Jayvee in my dream and then I think I fell in a hole which I am not sure about and I saw a woman who is exactly the same as me. She is walking barefoot under the full moon. I followed her and she went inside the house. Like me, she is walking barefoot too. She is hiding something behind me at first I thought it was fine but when I saw her slice the throat of a man inside his house. I got scared and I got scared more when I saw her closer because she is me. She wrote something in a black mini notebook but I forgot what she wrote. I tried to recall her clothes and I know she is wearing something black like my normal clothes. I remember that it had the word “Empty” in a shirt and I have a shirt like she was wearing. That is why I rushed to my closet and I tried to find my t-shirt there. I put all of the shirts outside, wishing that I could find my “Empty” t-shirt and when I found it well folded in my closet. I immediately took it and checked. There is no bloodstain. I tried to smell it too and it smelled like a detergent or a fabric conditioner. It means that I haven’t worn it. So I put it back inside my closet with my other clothes and think again.

“How did you get there?” I asked the dead man as if he would answer.

“Who brought you there?” I scratched my head because and took a deep breath.

I sit back on the floor while facing the dead man. I tried to lift the blanket a little to see him for one more time and I put the blanket down immediately because I feel like he is already decomposing. I don’t know how many hours he has been dead but I know that he is real. I tried to think again and I suddenly remembered the notebook and the cutter again. What if it is hidden somewhere outside the house? So I immediately stood up and got my room key in my drawer. I went out and locked the door because I want to make sure that nobody will get inside my room while I am out finding the other evidence that will help me find the answers. 

“Where are you going?” Nana Salve asked when she saw me rushing

“Just there” I answered and I went out of the house and started looking. First, I checked at my mom’s mini garden. Maybe it was just somewhere with her plants but I failed. I didn't find any and then I checked outside the gate. Maybe I will find it this time somewhere at the front house but I failed too and last, I checked the garbage. Not just the garbage outside the house but the garbage inside too. I went to the kitchen and opened the garbage can and tried to find it there but I didn’t find any.

“What are you looking for?” Nana Salve asked me while looking at me holding the garbage bag and finding something. I put it back where it was. When I found out that it wasn’t there either.

“Some… things that are missing for my school project” I answered and washed my hands. I wiped my hand to dry it and looked at Nana Salve.

“Is that a new garbage? Did the garbage truck already collect?” I asked

“Not yet… tomorrow is our schedule for the garbage” She answered

“Good morning, honey” My mom greeted me and kissed me and I greeted her back and kissed her too.

“Good morning, Salve,” She said and boiled the water for her coffee in our electric kettle.  She yawned and stretched her arms and legs.

“What are you two are talking about, may I know?” She asked while waiting for the water to be completely boiled. 

“Nothing… it is just my stuff for school that I thought wasn't important anymore… that is why I threw it away and now I am looking for it again” I lied because she didn't need to know. They don’t need to know. I watched her make her coffee when the water was already done boiling and took a sip of her coffee and looked at me.

“I will visit our business next week in Tagaytay… Do you want to go with me?” She asked. I thought for a second and I decided not to go.

“No… I have a lot of things to do in school” I answered.

“Okay… at least you are dedicated to your study” She answered and took a sip of her coffee again. 

“Let’s have our breakfast,” Nana Salve said when she was done preparing the breakfast and we went to the dining area and ate our breakfast together.

We have bacon, eggs, and fried rice with mixed veggies and fried garlic bits on it that Nana Salve cooked. I eat fast because I want to go back to my room immediately while praying that I hope my mom and Nana Salve will not find the cutter and the notebook that I was looking for, or else I am dead. I finished my breakfast and went inside my room. I left mom and Nana Salve talking about the soap opera that they watched last night. It is their life aside from gardening and drinking coffee. 

I opened my door and went inside, closed it, and locked it. I check the man under my bed hoping that he is gone but he is not. He is still there lying dead under my bed with my blanket covering him. I am starting to panic, be scared, and crazy again because until now I don’t know what happened even how many times I recall it. 

I picked up my phone and decided to call Devon. I asked for help from him. I know he will help me but I am not sure if he would understand because what is happening right now is beyond ghosts and voices. There is a dead man under my bed and I am not sure about his reaction to this. I dialed his number and it is ringing but he is not answering. Maybe he is still having his breakfast. That is why I decided to go to their house and tell him personally. 

I took my room key on the table and moved the dead man’s body a little more so that no one could really see it and before it decayed and stank the whole room or worse the whole house. I combed and tied my hair, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes. I need to get rid of the body without anyone seeing me and I need help from someone and that someone could be Devon. Having a dead man’s body under your bed is not a joke and I don’t know how to say this to Devon and convince him to help me dump the body.

I went to their house and knocked on the gate but the television volume was too high and it was impossible for him to hear me knocking. I tried to call him again but he did not answer. How can he answer me? He can’t even hear his phone ringing.  I doorbell but nobody can really hear me.

“Hello!” I shouted to get attention hoping that someone could hear me. I press the doorbell again and again and again. Until finally someone opened the gate and it was him. I feel like I saw a light in my dying hope when I saw Devon standing, smiling in front of me.

“Yes, How can I help you,  Mrs. David?” He asked and then laughed because he called me David and he saw me raise my eyebrow.

“Sorry for the loud t.v. Granny is watching the news and she has a hearing problem. That is why she turned the volume up.”  He explained about the noise in their house.

“Are you okay?” He asked me when he saw fear and confusion on my face. I didn’t answer his question because I don’t know how to tell him about the dead body under my bed.

“I want to show you something,” I said when I heard the news about the man who got murdered inside his house. His throat was cut. There is no forced entry and nobody saw the crime because it happened in the middle of the night where everyone was sleeping and the police are still looking for the suspect and it is still under investigation. 

I changed my mind to show him the dead body because I got scared that he might tell to the police.

“Are you alright? He asked me while I was listening to the news. I looked at him and answered…

“Yes, I am fine” 

“I just want to check what you are doing,” I added. He looked at me and I am not sure if he was convinced about my answer and then he nodded after a second of staring at me.

“Okay, see you later… I will pick you up before going to school” He said and I smiled at him even though I am still thinking about what to do about the body. 

I know I can’t hide for too long. I am walking back home while still thinking about what to do. I couldn't ask for help from my only hope because I got scared that he might tell it to the police. Since that the police are already looking for the suspect and the whole Philippines already knows about the murder because it is already on national television.

I hurriedly went inside the house and immediately unlocked the door to my room and got inside. Later Devon will pick me up because we will go to school. That is why I need to think about how I can dispose of the dead body without someone seeing me because I cannot lock my room forever. I tried to check the dead man’s body under the bed for one last time when I saw it was not there anymore. Only the blanket that I used to cover was left but the dead man’s body is no longer there and IT IS GONE.