CHAPTER 13: THE SEARCHING

I took the piece of paper inside my pocket that Luna gave me and read it one by one. It says there that in order for me to find the truth I need to clear my mind first from negativity such as hatred, anger, and pain. I need to surrender it to the Divine and have a deep connection with the Divine. Through it, the purity will flow and the truth will prevail. I need to face the past that gives me a burden and heavy load. I need to accept the fact that it is already in the past for me to give forgiveness and after all of this. I will free myself from the heavy loads that I am carrying. The pain will go away, the hatred, the fear, and all the negativity that is blocking my way to tranquility. Through this. I will have peace of mind and forgiveness in me. I can face the girl freely without fear and I can help her, solve her case and she won't bother me anymore. Including the others that are haunting me. 

I also opened the glittery black pouch that she gave me and took the paper out from there. While sitting on my bed and thinking if I will start it tonight alone or if I will call Devon to help me but I don’t want to bother him. So I decided to do it alone tonight. I checked the other things inside the pouch and their uses. I can use the white candle for my meditation. I will anoint the purification oil on it and I can massage the oil in my senses especially to my heart chakra or to my wrist. It will help to heal my heart chakra or Anahata because it says here that the heart chakra is the center of love, connection, and balance and the healing of it is to practice opening, cleansing, and supporting the heart within our bodies. 

I open the bottle of oil and smell it. It smells good. Very comforting and relaxing. I am sure that it will help me in my meditation cleansing. I bring the white candle out and it says in a piece of paper that the white candle shows purity and light; Not literally a light because of course it is a candle but the light to positivity. It will help me cleanse my heart chakra easier. I Don't know how it would relate but I will use it anyway. As instructed here in a paper. I took the incense too and I tried to smell it. It smells like dry, minty herbs that are so relaxing as well. The incense helps to banish negativity around me. 

I lay down on my bed and take a deep breath. Conditioning myself about what I need to do. I close my eyes and clear my thoughts from overthinking because I know it is needed too and then after a few moments of thinking of nothing. I stand up and whisper to myself.

“This is it”

I took a deep breath and put a clean mat on the floor for me to sit for my meditation. I took the lighter from my bag because I remember that Devon put his lighter inside. I start by cleansing my whole room from negativity. I lit the incense and roamed around my room and visualized the negativity going out from my room because they are not invited. When the incense was finished I lit the candle that was anointed with a purification oil and I anointed some on my heart and then I took a deep breath and had an Indian sit on the mat with my hand on my lap. I closed my eyes with the candle in front of me. I can feel the heat coming from the candle and I can smell the relaxing oil. I tried to focus and concentrate by clearing my mind from thinking. I hope I am doing it right and after this, I am brave enough to face the girl. I am trying to block the noise from outside too. My mom’s and Nana Salve’s voices are talking about the soap opera that they are watching on T.V. I can hear them but not clearly and I tried to block Wolfie’s bark too because his bark is louder than my mom's and Nana Salve’s voice to concentrate more. 

After a few seconds of trying to concentrate, to meditate more. I saw a silhouette of a girl sitting in front of me and she was waving her hand in front of me. I tried to ignore her but she kept on waving. She is like testing me if I can still see her or not. She knows that I can feel her, that is why she blows on my face and then laughs when she sees me react to it. I didn’t expect that she would do that and I didn’t expect too that she would connect to me like that. She laughed like an evil laugh because she is not allowing me to concentrate but I know I need to ignore her. I saw her silhouette run away and she vanished in the light. I heard heavy footsteps and I heard the “Ahh” sound. I know the two men who keep on chasing me are here. I don’t know but I can see them even just in silhouette even when my eyes are closed. I can feel them too. I want to scream but I need to sit still and ignore them. I need to be brave to face my fears for me to have clarity and tranquility. The “Ahh” sound is getting nearer and nearer until I can feel them standing in front of me and I know they are staring at me. I can hear their blood dripping on the floor in front of me and I can feel the splash of it on my legs. They touched me but like the girl; I ignored them too even though I am so scared now and I feel like I want to stop, scream and run outside but I can’t. I need to be firm and continue what I started. That is why I am sitting still with my eyes closed. 

I heard a weep and it is a familiar weep from a woman because I already heard that weep before and it is coming from beside me. I feel cold but the energy that I can feel is heavy. Very very heavy. I feel like I can't breathe like someone is strangling me but I don’t feel any touch from them except from the two men who are standing in front of me. I can still hear the sound that they are making with the weep of a woman. My sweat is starting to fall from my forehead like tidbits and I feel a little dizzy but I didn’t give up because I know I need to carry on. To pass this test for my peaceful life. If this is just a test, If this is a part of cleansing. I heard the woman whisper again…

“I can’t take this”

“I can’t take this”

“I can’t take this”

Repeatedly right in my ears with the “Ahhh”  sound and the girl’s laugh. All of it in one moment. I feel like I am going crazy because they are giving me a headache again. I know the woman is standing behind me and the girl is playing inside my room. I can hear her laughing and crying and then she will talk but I don’t know if she is talking to me. I feel like someone is telling her not to tell because I heard her saying that she will not tell. Someone wants her to keep silent. Silent from what?

“I will not tell”

“I will not tell”

And she is saying it repeatedly like a woman beside me keeps on telling me that she can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what she can’t take anymore but I can sense something dark and heavy.  A heavy load and dark energy. Like what they are giving to me right now. I feel like there is a big black hole above me sucking up my energy because of them and I heard the man shout…

“Don’t be so hard-headed… take off your clothes!” And the girl cried and I know she doesn't want to take off her clothes but she is scared of the man who is telling her to take her clothes off. 

I can hear her crying and sobbing but she doesn't have a choice but to follow the man who wants to see her naked and then I heard the woman talking to her in a sweet, soft and innocent voice.

“Baby, why are you cutting yourself?” The girl just laughed and waved her hand to the woman.

“Moma” She called the woman mama and at her age, she still can’t talk straight. I am right that she is not an ordinary kid but she is special. 

“Don’t cut yourself again… that is bad” Her mother told her but the girl just tell her to keep quiet.

And then I heard the men laugh while the girl was crying. I know something is not right. My instinct told me that the raping is happening again to the girl that is why she is crying in pain. The energy became heavier than a while ago and I can feel it like it was suffocating me. My sweat is still falling in my cold room and my feeling is getting heavier and heavier. 

I heard the door open and the man went inside the house and I guess he arrived from work. I know he is the father and he suddenly screamed and ran to his wife hanging dead at the ceiling. He held her wife and pushed her up and immediately tried to grab the knife on the table beside him to cut the rope and when he already cut the rope he tried to survive her by giving her first aid; mouth to mouth resuscitation but he failed to survive her. He noticed the knife had blood and he suddenly feared for his daughter. That is why he ran inside the kitchen when he heard his daughter’s voice crying there.  He saw his daughter crying with blood on her hands and cuts on her arms. He immediately ran to his daughter. Touched her and hugged her.

“Baby, what happened?” He asked while getting crazy because of what was happening.

“Dadaddy… sowri” She said with fear in her eyes and she pointed her brother and her brother’s friend up the stairs inside her room. The dad rushed upstairs to check what happened and went inside his daughter’s room. He found out that the two were dead on the floor. The gun is on the floor too. Actually, it was his gun that his daughter stole from his cabinet to shoot his brother.

The two men who were standing in front of me are the brother and the best friend of the brother of the girl and the woman standing behind me is the mother. Now I know. Little by little I am discovering what happened and through it. I will solve the case. I know I will nearly solve the case.

“Ahhh!!!” I heard the father scream and lose his mind and then the wind suddenly blew hard which kills the candlelight. My room is so dark and I can still feel them watching me. They were surrounding me and it made me freeze. I can still hear them. I know I need to be strong even though my fear is already eating me. I can hear the laugh, the scream, the whisper, the weep that makes me so scared and I can’t take it anymore. That is why I grabbed the lighter beside me and I immediately lit the candle and opened my eyes and looked around. They are suddenly gone. They are not here anymore and the atmosphere of my room went normal. I wiped my sweat that continued dripping on my face. When I suddenly heard a cracking sound on my left side near the cabinet. I slowly turned my head when I saw myself hanging dead like a woman. My eyes were staring at me and it was full of anger and hatred.

“Ahhh!!!” I screamed and then I passed out.