CHAPTER 5: THE WOMAN

I have never been the same since the accident. I feel like something is wrong with me. The visions that I saw before the accident are getting intense. I feel like I am not the same anymore. I am getting weirder and weirder too. I can hear voices from the dead. I can see scary things that only my eyes can see, I can see visions and weird, scary scenarios and I can read minds too but not much. 

It’s in the middle of the night and I can’t sleep because I can still remember the accident and the pain is killing me. I am alone in my bed, keep tossing and turning for me to find the comfortable position to make me sleep but no matter how many times I keep on turning. It is still the same. I can't sleep. The past is haunting me every time I close my eyes and my chest is getting tight because of the pain. I checked my phone and I saw Devon’s message when I asked him what he was doing. He sent his photo with his friends. Hanging out; drinking beer and smoking weed. Three hours before I saw it. He is living his life to the fullest? literally. I tried to call him but he didn’t answer my call. Maybe he is already sleeping or still busy with his friends because I feel like I need someone to talk to. I am scared again and thinking about a lot of things, especially about the bus and what it looked like after the accident. I cannot erase it on my head, which makes me scared and Devon is the only one that I feel can understand me. 

I heard Wolfie barking outside. It seems like someone is outside or something is outside. At first, I ignored his bark but the more I ignored it the more he barked and his bark is getting louder and stronger. I covered my ears with my pillow but it didn't work. I can still hear him barking and the more I ignored his bark, it made me irritated. I sat on my bed and I tried to call him but he was not minding me. He keeps on barking and I feel like he is uncomfortable. My mom and Nana Salve are already sleeping and I know they are sleeping well because they cannot hear Wolfie’s bark otherwise they will wake up and check what is going on with Wolfie.

“Wolfie, what’s wrong baby?” I asked while trying to look at him from inside my room because I don’t want to go out. 

“Wolfie, come here boy” I called him while waiting for him to get inside my room because I am too lazy to stand up to check but he didn’t mind me. He keeps on barking and that is unusual because he used to run to me whenever I called him but this time he ignores me. He kept on barking, which forced me to stand up and check why he was barking. He is barking at the guest room which is my mom and dad's old room because my mom moved to a smaller room after my dad died because she felt like the room was too big for her, especially she was alone. 

“Wolfie” I called again; This time I made my voice louder and he just looked at me for a second and he kept on barking again. As if he's barking on something. His tail is standing the same as his fur. His bark is getting aggressive, which makes me scared because I don’t know what is going on with our dog. Wolfie is a happy and tamed dog but right now he is aggressive on something inside the room. 

“Wolfie” I called again trying to be strong even though I felt scared. I heard a voice of a woman and she was whispering while crying inside the guest room. Maybe that is the reason why Wolfie is barking. I tried to put my ear closer to the door to hear the voice and the cry was getting louder. As if the woman crying inside is in agony. Her weep is getting harder and harder while she keeps on whispering. Which I don’t understand because I can’t hear it clearly; it seems like she is murmuring with pain and agony.

I tried to open the door a little to see who was inside because I knew it was not Nana Salve and definitely it wasn’t my mom. I opened the door enough for my one eye to see who was weeping inside and I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing the woman with long black messy hair crying on the floor. She’s wearing a nightdress. Her eye bags are big and she looked depressed. She is the woman that I saw hanging dead at the mango tree a while ago in school. 

“I can’t take this,” She whispered while crying.

“I can't take this” She whispered again, still crying.

“I can’t take this”

“I can’t take this” She keeps on whispering enough to echo in the whole room and hurts my ear. I cover my ears because her whispers are hurting me and I feel like it is just near me. I feel like it is getting inside my head. I saw Wolfie run away because he was scared too like me. I can feel the melancholy from her. The hopelessness and the total grief that make the atmosphere so heavy.  I can’t breathe. I feel like I am absorbing the negative energy that she is releasing. 

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

The woman sat up and suddenly looked at me. That made me scared and closed the door in an instant. The door bangs and when I turn around, She is standing beside me and her angry eyes make me shiver. Her eyes are twisted full of sadness and pain. 

“No” I whispered and closed my eyes because I was scared of her. I don’t want to look at her.

“I am sorry,” She said and she gently touched my cheek. Her cold hand connects to me in an instant. That makes me feel that even her heart is full of anger that shows in her eyes, still she cannot get angry with me because the way she says “Sorry” makes me feel like she wants to tell me something, and then she is gone and the door slowly opens without me opening it. I looked inside again and I saw the woman holding a rope. Tie the rope on the ceiling and she tries to pull it down first to check if it is strong enough to hold her. She looks at me. She smiles and tells me not to make noise as if everything will be alright if she commits suicide. Then she puts the rope around her neck. She jumps from the chair and falls on the floor while she was left tied to the ceiling with a rope on her neck. At first, she was still moving until she was not moving anymore and she lost her breath. She is dead while her body is swinging, hanging on the ceiling. I watched her like a child trying to absorb everything as if what I saw was real because I know that I am awake and I am not dreaming.  

“No,” I whispered because I felt pity for her. I covered my mouth to avoid myself from screaming because I don’t want to wake my mother or Nana Salve up. I don’t know why she took suicide and I don’t even know her but what happened to her makes me scared. Scared not to be strong and end up like her because lately, I am thinking about suicide too. To end the pain that I felt and to be with the man that I love at the crossroads. Now I know for sure that he is waiting for me and thinking about death makes me excited to see him again. To be with him but when I saw the woman who took suicide in front of me. I suddenly feel scared of death and the pain that it causes to those who are left, living. 

“Are you okay?” Nana Salve asked me while looking at me standing at the front door of the guest room. She is holding a glass of water and wondering when she sees my closed eyes while holding the doorknob. I took a deep breath and looked at her but I didn’t answer because I know that she is not going to believe me if I tell her about what I saw. 

“Why are you still awake?” She asked but I didn’t answer. I am shaking because I am still scared. I looked back inside the room and looked back at Nana Salve.

“I heard Wolfie barking so I checked what was going on” I answered and I wet my lips. I looked back inside the room again and this time the woman was facing me, which made me more scared.

“What’s wrong?” She asked and she looked inside the room and she saw nothing. I don’t know why she is not going to see it. The woman is just there hanging dead and swinging.

“Do you want water?” While handing me the glass of water that she is holding. I took it and drank it. She is looking at me. Maybe she was wondering why I was shaking and scared. I know I look pale too because until now my heart is still pumping fast because of what is inside the room.

“I heard Wolfie barking too, That is why I stood up to check,” She said with a smile. Nana Salve has a smiling face even when she is not smiling. She looks smiling.

“Are you okay?” She asked again and took the empty glass from my hand when I handed it over to her. She tapped my back to comfort me because she knows that I am not okay.

“You go back to sleep na, come on I will walk you to your room” She added and she held me to accompany me back to my room. I looked at the guest room but the woman who suicides is no longer there. The chair that she used and the rope is not there either. The room went back to normal and the door gently closed as the wind blew hard. 

Nana Salve is my mom’s best friend. Mom asked Nana Salve to stay with us when daddy died. Since then Nana Silva can’t have a real child. She only adopted one son and one daughter who is living in the province. She decided to stay with us so that she can help mama to look after me. Even though I am old and mature now. She still wants to be with us and mom. She treated me as her own child. She is sweet and loving, that is why. We are so lucky to have her here at home. 

Inside my room. I sat in the corner of my bed. I feel scared until now because I cannot believe what my eyes witnessed.  I cannot believe that I will see it. I know I am not dreaming, I just can't believe it. I checked my phone and I received a message from Devon and he just said “Good morning” to me and “See you later in class”. I have a class later but until now I am still awake and I know I cannot sleep because of the woman that I saw inside daddy’s old room. 

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

The whispers that I heard from her a while ago. Whispers in my ears again that irritates me as if she is just sitting beside me. As if she is inside my head already.

“No” I whispered and covered my ears to avoid hearing it but it continued whispering in my ears.

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“Aaaa,” I said irritably because it is like a static that keeps on making noise inside my ear. I hold my head because it starts to ache.

“I can't take this”

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“I can’t take this” 

“Stop, please” I begged and I lay on my bed and covered my head with a pillow. I force myself to sleep. Maybe because I am just tired or exhausted from thinking too much. That is why my brain produces pictures that I thought were real. I closed my eyes and tried to erase what I saw. I hope tomorrow I will not remember it or hear the voice that I hear right now.