UNCERTAINTY. A feeling that makes you feel scared. It fills you with anxiousness and doubt. It unlocks your insecurities and exposes your fears hidden deep down within. This was the current emotional standing of Anna Davenport as she sits on the single couch in the corner of her bedroom while holding a warm cup of coffee in her right hand.
It was pouring heavily outside and the weather was the only excuse her mom could come up with to prevent her from heading back to the hospital, having spent a whole week there without giving herself a break. As she lay back on the sofa, she stares at her white flower-patterned ceiling with full focus, as if it had, written on it, the answers to all the questions running through her mind.
The heavy rainfall and loud thunderstorms weren’t enough to subdue the continuous ringing of the 911 siren and the whole scene that happened a week ago, kept replaying in her mind while leaving her devastated.
A week and some days ago, Anna was still going over the preparation plans for her wedding with her mum and the joy that she felt was so overwhelming she couldn’t wait to officially tie the knot with the love of her life. But it was certain. Right now, she wasn’t happy, she wasn’t sad. She was broken and in pain. Nature wasn’t so pleased with how well things were going for her and decided to throw some shit her way. And Anna never saw herself leaving this emotional phase.
A quick beep from her phone draws Anna’s attention back to her moody surrounding. With her given nature, she was the type to create a surrounding that fits her mood, and right now, in her devastated state, only a slightly dim light was left on in her room. All her windows were covered with curtains, leaving no space for a ray of light, and a slow classic from the ’90s silently echoed through the room.
Despite being a doctor and having spent so many years in a hospital, the past one week for Anna, has made her dread being in the hospital and all she wanted was a few hours break from it. She decided to come home and take a quick shower before heading back when the rain decided to keep her trapped in the building that had both hers and Josh’s scent.
“I’ll call you honey if it’s good news or bad news. No news from me means nothing new.” Mrs. Davenport had said earlier in the day when she called Anna, to discourage her from heading back to the hospital under the heavy rain.
So Anna’s phone beeping means it was either good news or a bad one, but deep down her mind kept pushing her towards the negative option. Maybe by ignoring her phone, she could still remain in the dark and save herself from what was yet to come. The good or the bad. But could she hide forever?
The phone beeps a second time, this time longer than the first, which means it was a call and not a message. Now she was anxious. She was scared and her heartbeat wouldn’t slow down a bit. To keep herself distracted from her phone, Anna had hidden it under her pillow, which she now holds in her left hand as she uses her right hand to pick up the phone. The caller Id showed it was her mom. She stares at the phone for a few seconds more before picking it at the fifth ring.
She clears her dry throat and finally speaks up, “hey”
“Honey, I’m so sorry.”
As those words left her mom’s mouth, so did Anna’s tears find their way down her cheeks, non-stop. Her fear had finally come to a reality and no matter what anyone said, nothing could change it.
“What’s wrong mum?” she finally musters up the courage to speak in between tears.
“He has been declared brain dead. I’m sorry honey.”
And those words marked the beginning of Anna’s lonely yet carefree and outgoing life. A world she created to escape her reality.
FEAR. A strong, uncontrollable and unpleasant emotion caused by actual or perceived danger or threat. This was all Dylan Blake could feel as he opens his eyes while expecting an excruciating pain from his chest area, in particular, his heart. He was naturally born with a weak heart but the accident he was in a week ago proved that the fact that he was alive was a miracle to him. As his eyes closed, having been on life support machine for days while waiting for a donor, all he could think of was dying in the hand of his lover but who was he kidding. She wasn’t present next to him at that moment, she wasn’t even in existence anymore. The accident had taken her life and left him in solitude and pain.“Mr. Blake, your surgery was a success.” Dr. John, a brown haired professor in his mid-fifties from the cardiology department stands not far from Dylan’s bed as he does some medical check-up to ensure the surgery went
IF ANXIOUSNESS was a person, then Dylan Blake definitely fitted that position. He had just got off the Phone with his dad’s secretary and the message he had received just made the start of his day terrible and left him irritated.He grabs the key to his red SUV from his mirror table and walks out of his apartment. He enters his car and without checking the side mirror for any passerby or an incoming vehicle, drives off with speed but without much concern. Speeding tickets never mattered to him and paying the fines had already seemed like a hobby to Dylan.Once in front of Green Lake Memorial Hospital, he drives into the parking lot and without much thought, brings the car to a stop, not caring whether it was in the right lane. He comes down and slams the door behind him, as he walks confidently into the hospital.The secretary had told him earlier that his appointment was scheduled for
NOSTALGIA. A bittersweet yearning for the things of the past. On days like this when Anna Davenport had her morning free, she would spend it at Josh’s apartment and from there, head to the hospital for her afternoon appointments. He would often times, call in sick in other to have an excuse to stay at home. He was ready to do the craziest things, just to spend time with her and see her happy. Josh had always placed her first and she knew no matter what, she wanted to spend a lifetime loving him. But her dream for a lifetime just had to be cut short by the damn accident he had to be involved in. Now she grabs her gym bag and drives herself to the nearest gym. Since there was no Josh to spend time with, she might as well use her morning exercising, just to get her mind off him.While driving, her mind wanders off, just thinking about the two rude guys she had met th
PAIN. To hurt; to put to bodily uneasiness or anguish; to render uneasy in mind. Dylan Blake couldn’t understand why his heart felt pain as he watched Anna fall to the ground. He had ignored his human conscience of preventing the incident just so he could have fun watching her get hurt. She had played with his mind and he hated that she looked like his ex.But instead of a feeling of excitement at the scene that played before him, he could feel his heart squeeze in pain and it was heart wrenching. Why did his new heart react against his wish? He really wanted an answer to that as he was beginning to find it bothersome.Dylan hated how thoughts of him beating up the blonde guy that bumped into her, crosses his mind. He stares at her long enough till her head snaps towards his direction.Her hazel eyes had a challenging look, but also a bit of embarrassment. Against his wishes, he found
ANGER. A strong feeling of displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something, usually combined with an urge to harm. Anna Davenport had felt this way severally whenever she heard some of the stories some of her traumatic patients had been through and how she desperately wished she could teach the assailants a lesson.Her day hadn’t stated so great as she kept getting involved with Dylan Blake, the current director of her hospital but the patient in front of her just tops it all. She stares at the 17year old teenage boy seated in front of her, looking lost in his own world.He looked adorable and but the lifeless expression his grey eyes carried just made her heart hurt more. Just why did they have to bully him and make him witness such a gruesome experience.From his report which Anna had read, his classmates had apparently bullied him and another person quite often, ti
NIGHTMARES. A very bad or frightening dream. Anna was starting to lose count of the number of nightmares she’s been having since Josh’s death but whenever she woke up with one, clearing her head with a jog had been working well on her. She lets out a sigh as she turns sideways to stare at the mini alarm clock she had next to her bed. The time read 6:00 am and she hated the fact that she had to be awake at this early hour of the day.Finally, gathering all the strength she could muster up, she pushes herself up from the bed as she heads straight to her bathroom to wash her face. She gets changed into her black and grey tracksuit and heads out to clear her head. On stepping outside, the morning breeze felt so cold on her skin, for a moment she considered going back in.She starts jogging on the sidewalk of her neighborhood when her mind wanders off to Aiden, one of the patients she met recently. Given that
DÉJÀ VU. Something which one has or suspects to have seen or experienced before, especially when that is not the case. As Dylan Blake opens his eyes to be welcomed by a bright sunlight reflection, a feeling of déjà vu swept through him. His environment felt familiar but he was still trying to grasp why he was here.A sudden flash of last night’s event crosses his mind as he remembers showing up in front of Anna’s door. Why?Anna’s current apartment turned out to be the same apartment Hannah, his ex, resided in before she passed away. He had wanted to move into it but got disappointed when the estate agent told him someone else had moved in already. Anna just always had to mess things up for him.He p
TIMID. Lacking courage or confidence. Noah Black was the definition of timid despite being a fourth year resident of the department of psychiatry. His cute brown eyes had often times avoided making contact with Anna’s hazel ones, especially when she had directed a question at him during their department meetings.The whole Psychiatry department had a total of six residents; five males and one female. Anna had three males assigned to her, Noah being one of them.“How’s granny Ann’s condition?” Anna asks Noah for the second time with a small smile playing on her lips. She was seated at the farthest corner of the room that had the presence of her fellow professors and residents. They were to give feedbacks on their patients well-being and Granny Ann just happened to be one of her in-patients who was diagnosed with Alcohol addiction.“She’s complaining of being nauseous and having little appetite,” Noah replies, his ey
VOID. The feeling of total emptiness. Moving back into her apartment after such a long period created some void in Anna’s heart. She knew she couldn’t remain at Dylan’s place after what had gone down some nights before. As a doctor, she always knew when to take a step back. Things felt a little different after that day. Dylan had become a total stranger to her, and she hated how it felt. She did miss having him around, but he had made his face so scarce he barely glanced in her direction whenever they ran into each other. Well, maybe she did deserve the silent treatment. While driving to the hospital, Anna receives a message from Liam asking if they could meet up at the hospital. Immediately, she could tell it had to do with their false engagement that Dylan had announced. She just hoped things hadn’t gone too far. “You have someone waiting for you inside,” Macy says; immediately Anna arrives in front of her consultation room. “Thanks,” She says hurriedly while flashing Macy a bri
FLUSTERED. To be embarrassed or surprised about a thing. Anna was flustered at Dylan’s remark as her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. He had just thrown various surprises at her all through the day.“Mr Dylan, how long have you both been engaged?”“I won’t be entertaining any more questions,” Dylan says as he grips Anna’s hand and pulls her away from the thousand inquisitive eyes. He doesn’t stop walking till they were both in his office.Immediately he stops walking, she forcefully loosened his tight grip on her hand which was already a light shade of pink.After a loud sigh, she drives her fingers through her hair before saying, “What was that all about Dylan?”“Saving your ass,” he answers while shoving his hands into the pockets of his black pants. His blue eyes had a glint of mischief in them as the corner of his pale lips tilts into a smirk.“How do you call that saving my ass when you were just being impulsive! Now the whole hospital thinks we’re dating,” She raises her vo
GUILT. Feeling regretful or responsible for an offence or an action taken, whether real or imaginary. Just watching Nicholas sit across from her and say those words, Anna could tell Nicholas was going through survivor's guilt but didn’t understand why. The news had not carried any information on a gun attack involving Nicholas which made Anna more curious as to what he was talking about. “When did this happen?” She enquires further. “About two years ago” “When did your panic attack start?” “About a month ago” Why was the incident affecting him two years later? She was starting to have a tough time figuring it out. “Was the lady very important to you?” “Yes. We had been dating secretly for a year and had agreed to go public once the movie we were shooting aired but she was shot on the last day of shooting Just then Anna remembered two years ago, the movie Nicholas had been shooting with Mia Park, a famous actress, had been cancelled, and about
ECSTASY. An overpowering emotion. A state of sudden feeling. Anna still couldn’t get over what had just happened between her and Dylan as she approached her room and shut the door behind her slowly. Placing both of her hands on the left side of her chest, she could still feel her heart beat fast and loud against her palms. She nervously pushes some strands of her hair behind her ears as her breathing starts to fall into rhythm. Just when she felt everything was fine, she finally noticed the line of soldier ants still marching proudly on the floor and wall of her bedroom, remembering the reason she had left the room in the first place. Anna became conflicted on whether to leave the room and feel awkward around Dylan or just stay here for a while and suffer unending torments from the ants. The choice was hers to make but none seemed favourable to he
TRAPPED. To be in an unpleasant situation in which you lack freedom. Not a lot of people enjoy staying in the hospital, especially when they have an illness that requires constant visitation or admission to the hospital. Due to his heart problem, the hospital always brought bad memories to Dylan and constantly made him feel trapped. So spending the last few days here as a patient was a torment he never wished to experience again. He could manage working here because he was being treated as a boss rather than a patient. And another person seemed to be making his life more interesting by constantly getting involved with him. Dylan hadn’t seen Anna in the past two days since his outburst at her. Well, he probably deserved the silent treatment he was getting as she was only trying to look out for him. If his mom couldn’t deal with him, it was no surpr
ANEMOIA. Nostalgia for a time you’ve never known. A time yet to be seen but yet desperately yearned for. Growing up, no one ever really paid much attention to Dylan and as time went by, he got used to it. But deep down, he yearned for a time when someone would be so scared of losing him instead of him having fear of being abandoned.The only person that had shown interest and given all her attention to him was Hannah but as it was always him against the world, she was nowhere next to him. Not now, not ever. So watching Anna lay next to him gave him a hint of hope, that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as worthless as he thinks he is. That he deserved attention just like everyone else.“Don’t bother saying anything mean because I don't plan on leaving anytime soon,” Anna turns her head sideways to get a better view of his expressi
DISBELIEF. Inability to accept that something is true or real. Opening his eyes, Dylan couldn’t believe he was back to being admitted to the hospital for an incident he could have avoided. He feels a sharp pain come from his lower abdomen and curses under his breath as he could have avoided the knife if not for missing a step.“How do you feel Mr. Blake?” A young male doctor with round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose asks while inspecting Dylan’s surgical site. He was around 6’1 and had a short textured hairstyle with fades on both sides. He was good looking and Dylan had to admit it.Dylan breaks eye contact with the doctor and brings his gaze lower, reading the ID card on the Doctor's white coat. It read James White.“Good. What of the lady that was next to me?&r
EUPHORIA. A feeling or state of intense happiness or excitement. Most people experience some kind of euphoria while on the dance floor in a club. The loud music vibrating through the whole room and your body swaying to the beat just leaves you high and happy, while zoning out the world and being lost in the moment.“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Dylan asks while walking behind Anna as they both enter the club. Disco lights swiveled around the room and for some unknown reason, there were few people on the dance floor.“Any reason why you think it’s not?” Anna questions while her eyes search for a particular face amidst the crowd.“Just get this over with,” He says as they get settled at the central bar where a tall guy with dirty blonde hair and sleevel
REGRET. To feel sorry for a thing that has or has not happened. Anna had regrets from the moment she had set eyes on Amaya Rawlins at the emergency room looking so lifeless and full of hatred.She hadn’t met with her since their last therapy session that Dylan had messed up and just staring at her once again reignited the anger Anna had felt from the first time she had seen her. Anna majorly felt regretful at the fact that Amaya was here with a traumatized expression and sores all over her body while her perpetrators were living a good life because they were well connected.Screw the law.“Does your skin feel less irritating to you these days?” Anna asks while staring at those grey eyes across from hers with utmost concern.Amaya’s