CHAPTER 4

Everything I could give is everything you couldn't take

--Flashback

"You liked chopped banana on milk?" my seatmate with spiky hair asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Oh, same," I caught the cheerfulness in his voice. "Do you want to try this Korean Banana milk? It's more convenient than chopping bananas every day." His chiseled jawline curved with a smile. He inserted the straw before offering the pack to me. He patiently waited for my reaction as I took a sip.

"Woah, where did you buy this?" I instantly reacted. It perfectly suited my taste bud.

"Did you like it?"

I nodded. "Tell me where to buy this."

"I can give it to you for free, every day."

"Really? You do that?" My eyes widened.

"Yes," he chuckled. "In one condition,"

I took the last sip before answering, "What is it?

"Friends?" He offered his left hand.

I arched my brows. "That's it, just that?"

He nodded.

"Okay," I shook his hand. "Friends."

--End of Flashback

I couldn't hide my smile when I remembered something as I made my way inside the Korean store. I directly went to the cashier. The owner of the shop automatically recognized me when I asked for a pack of banana milk.

"You're early, Zee." Mr. Choi checked his watch. "It's five in the morning."

"Good morning, Mr. Choi," I greeted. "I'm happy it's a 24-hours store."

"I'm pleased to know you traveled an hour for this." He packed the banana milk. "You must be sharing this with Zack. He hasn't come back since last month."

"He's busy training for football."

"Send my regards then."

I nodded. I waited for my change then bid my farewell. "See you again, Mr. Choi!"

Surprisingly, there was no traffic on my way back to school. I went to the locker area and entered Zack's birthday on the locker lock. He was the one who set my lock code. I never bothered changing 950517 to my desired number combination. I wanted to use my birthday at first, yet he set it as his password. He told me it was a reminder for me not to forget his birthday. There's no need for that. I can never forget even the smallest details about him.

After wearing my vest, I opened his locker and left the banana milk inside. I bought him a lot and saved something for me too since it's our favourite drink. It costs me half of my allowance for the week. Well, it's the least thing I could do after what he'd done last night.

Zack clearly explained the topics to me. He provided some examples via video call last night. I am so grateful for his existence in my life, so in return, I woke up early to visit the Korean store.

"You went to the Korean Store just to buy me this?" Zack asked though it's more like a statement. He proudly waved the banana milk with his right hand while his left hand positioned the tray beside mine. We are having our lunch after our jam-packed morning.

He took a sip with a grinned on his face. "That is so sweet!"

I looked down as I separated the carrots from my plates. Zack tilted his head down to see my face as he bit the straw.

"Baka!" I reacted. "I bought it for myself. I decided to buy you some because I know you'll get mine." I lied. Of course, you know I lied. I traveled an hour because he'd been craving for that.

"Ohh, really?" He turned to his plate, still smiling. "If you say so."

"Just so you know, I am here in front of you, lovebirds!" Gab hissed. "Why not date?"

"Baka!" Zack and I said in chorus.

"Whatever, two idiots!" Gab said pertaining to us or maybe she was pertaining to the fact that Zack and I are still best friends after all these years. Well, I don't know. Zack never confesses about his feelings, and as for me, whatever happens as long as he is with me, I'm happy about it.

"Anyways, how's your arm?" Gab asked. "I heard you'll be competing the week after next? Is that an amateur competition?"

"Why did your Coach put you there? You should focus on joining long courses rather than -"

I cut Zack off. "Do you know what's my best record in 50-meter freestyle?"

"25.51," he answered.

"How about in butterfly stroke?"

"26.00," Gab answered.

"Yeah, right. Do you know my record as of now?" They both shook their heads. "28.78 for freestyle, and 30.58 for butterfly stroke."

"Oh!" they both turned to silence.

I was famous in the swimming industry since I was in first grade. I held the best record in high school meet, both 50-meter freestyle and 50-meter butterfly stroke. It had been the record to beat. Not until last year, a girl from a rival school made 25.40 the new record to beat in the 50-meter freestyle.

If I need to make a comeback, I need to beat it. As of now, I couldn't even beat my record in the 50-meter freestyle.

How could I beat the record I set if my stroke wasn't as good as it used to be?

It looked like I was physically fine, but honestly, I'm drowning inside.

"Don't worry. Coach told me it's a good start. It's a 25-meter freestyle and butterfly stroke. I want to practice and see what would happen."

"Will you be okay?" Zack looked at me, concerned. I have always been mesmerized by his deep gray eyes.

"Yeah, don't worry." I looked away. "You guys will treat me if I win first place. Okay?"

"Make sure you will then." Gab smiled.

I will.

I wanted to say I will, but I know I would not get the first place nor the second place.

But it doesn't mean I would lose hope. It means I need to work harder.

"By the way, how are your math quizzes? Are you done?" Zack remembered.

I proudly nodded. "I got a passing score, and I might beat your ranking." I joked. I will ever beat him, even if I study the whole day.

How to beat a guy who's not even exerting an effort? He does not even study for exams. How unfair is that?

"Try harder, Baka!"

I scowled. I will definitely treat the person who can beat his ranking, but sadly that someone isn't born yet. To prove, Zack's a National Math Wizard since Elementary. Oh, he also won the International Competition last year.

"Have you reviewed for our ranking examination?" Gab asked. "I can't believe how time flies."

Oh! Shoot! I forgot about our examination because I was busy thinking about swimming.

I ducked my lips. "It's hell week again."

"Nope. I haven't," Zack muttered. He took a sip on his second pack.

Gab and I immediately glared at him.

"Don't talk about reviewing." Gab hissed. "You don't review it."

I agreed. "How to be consecutively ranked one without exerting effort?"

"Uh." Zack brushed his hair as he pouted. "I listen to lectures," he responded.

"We all listen to lectures, Zack." Gab frowned. "But, how do you manage to remember everything by just listening?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just do."

"You don't memorize," I added.

"I guess my auditory perception is better than any of you." He massaged his nape. I pictured a shy kid trying to hide his face.

I've known Zack since seventh grade. He doesn't like to brag about himself, but each day he will show you something that would make you admire him.

"That's unfair," I reacted.

"Life is unfair, Zee." His serious tone echoed in my ears. "Yet, we have to keep going,"

"Woah, where did you get that?" Gab asked.

"I just thought it is life's imperfections that keeps us going,"

Gab and I circled our mouth in awe.

"You know what," I pressed my lips.

"What?"

"That's the nicest thing you've said today." I widened my smile as I stared at him.

Gab stood from her seat. "I quit, you guys are too sweet for my eyes."

"What? We're not doing anything." I reacted.

Gab rolled her eyes and made a hair flip. "Whatever! Lovebirds!"

I hissed. "What are you saying?" I asked Zack as he murmured something.

He stuck his tongue out. "Nothing."

Well, whatever! I think it's nonsense.

---

"C'mon, Zee!" Coach Chris shouted from the sides of the pool. He was running with me. "You can do it!"

I felt the water gushing through my skin. I turned my head to the side to snatch a sudden breath. I tried to relax my ankle as I pulled my body. I kicked up and down until I made my way to the end. I caught air as soon as I reached the rear.

"Okay, 27.93." Coach clapped. "You good?" He helped me up.

"Yeah, just exhausted," I heaved. I've been running laps for the last hours.

"Very well. You keep that up."

"Yes, Coach!"

"Okay, clean up and go home. Be early tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." I waved mid-air as Coach made his way to the office. Coach Chris seemed happy as he started the conversation with the other coaches.

He has been my coach since elementary. He trained me along with the former seniors of the team while the rest of the coaches focused on others. I owed him a lot, that's why I wanted to give back everything he'd done for me. He was a professional swimmer before he became a trainer.

I arrived home at around nine in the evening. I boiled ramen since it's the fastest thing I knew to relieve my hunger. I was too lazy and exhausted to do anything. I wanted to lay straight to the bed.

I heard strums of a guitar for a second when I passed by Aae's room. He must be practicing for the music ranking examination or might be playing out of boredom. I remembered he was good at playing guitar. I heard him play during the vacant hours with the boys. I was not sure about his voice since I haven't heard him sing alone yet.

I woke up the next morning. Aae already left. What is he doing outside this early?

The days went on as usual. I had to focus on reviewing at the same time on my time record. It was exhausting.

My parents were expecting me to come home on weekends, but I told them I couldn't. It was a lie.

It's been a week since I missed home. I thought I would be sad and would immediately go home during weekends, yet I felt at ease. It's not because I don't want to see my parents. I know they wanted to see me. I wanted to be with them. But, I was missing home when I'm home.

We're keeping up with my brother's loss, or people thought we did. Little did they know, it's a facade. My parents may not say it or may try to be like how they used to be, but I'm not dumb. I felt how we grew apart since my brother died.

We still laugh, talk, smile, yet it felt empty.

We moved on, yet it would always take time to fill the gap that my brother had left us. I know deep down, no matter what I do, I could never fill the emptiness in my parents' hearts.

"You're early," Tita Annly greeted me on my way down. I was surprised by her presence. It was my first time to see her again. My mother rarely talked about her family due to what she'd done in the past. She hadn't reconciled with her parents, and they hadn't accepted her decisions yet. So, I never had any vivid idea about my grandparents on my mother's side.

"Hi, Tita!" I greeted back.

She was sitting on the porch with a book on her hand and a coffee on the side. "You look like your Dad." She surveyed me from head to toe.

"You resemble my mom," I replied. Her thin lips smiled at me.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Though, we both hated our monolid eyes." She pointed at her Chinese eyes. My mother is a full-blooded Chinese.

"Can you spare a minute for me?" She tapped the side of the porch, inviting me to sit beside her.

"Sure." I smiled.

We talked for minutes, tried to catch up though there was no catching up.

She talked about random things until she felt the tiredness of her eyes. I wanted to talk about her profession but remembered about my practice, so I made my way out.

Aae wasn't around either. So, he must be out for baseball.

I went to my locker and was surprised to see a box of cupcakes inside.

"Woah, it's a banana cupcake," I muttered. There was no note left, but I was sure it's from Zack. It's the banana cupcake from their store that I loved. Zack wasn't around the field when I passed by, so I texted my thanks to him.

I thought of sharing it with Gab, but she didn't come for individual practice because she's busy studying. She needed to maintain her spot or even climb higher than that. She was getting a lot of pressure from her family since all of her siblings graduated first in school.

I went home after draining all my energy.

Tita Annly was gone when I arrived. I looked for food, but there wasn't any. I remembered that Tita Annly doesn't eat at home, so I decided to browse the internet for cooking recipes and instructions to try it.

What to cook, Zee?

I thought of cooking my favorite Beef Brocolli. But, I only bought ingredients, left it in the fridge, and ate ramen before falling asleep.

I woke around seven in the evening. Aae was playing Miserable at Best in speakers. It made me realize we have the same music taste. It's my favourite band.

I hummed to the song when I felt my stomach growling. Ugh, I hate it! Now Zee, what are you going to eat?

I was about to go out and eat at fast-food when I heard a knock on my door. The song was still playing when I opened the door. To my surprise, there was no one waiting at the other end.

I was expecting Aae because he was the only one at home, but what I saw was a thermal lunch box, a bottle of Yakult, and a note.

I made a lot of rice and chicken curry. It would be a waste to throw it, so how about you have some? - A

I blinked.

He has a neat handwriting for a guy, though it's not what I was actually contemplating. I was surprised and a bit terrified.

I would really like to have some, but I was allergic to chicken.

Nevertheless, after staring at the food for about ten minutes, I started eating it. I must have gone crazy, don't you think?