CHAPTER 3

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

"You look like a panda," Zack greeted. His broad eyebrows connect the bridge of his nose as he leaned on the back door adjacent to our row. I could hear his heavy breathing.

"You did not sleep?" he intrigued. He was bathing with sweat as he went inside the room. I could almost taste the greeny field when he placed his backpack beside me.

"Do you know what shower is?" I arched my brows.

"I don't. What is it? Do you want to go with me there?" He grinned. He unzipped his backpack, and I saw him pulling bottled water with his left hand.

He moved an inch to get closer to me. We're one seat apart from each other and were the only ones sitting in the last row. Zack's Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped the cold water. He didn't remove his gaze from me until he drank the last drop of water. The back of his palm wiped his mouth down to his neck.

"Baka!" I hissed before offering my handkerchief to him. He clutched it and smelled the vanilla fragrance lingering around the cloth before wiping his sweat.

I put my earphones on before pillowing my arms on the table. I heard Zack talk, but didn't bother to decipher.

I am so sleepy. I didn't get enough sleep last night because I felt weird knowing that Aae was on the other side of the wall, and we were living in the same house. I was still surprised by how small the world is for us.

Aae startled upon seeing me. We rendered silence for a minute before we finally realized we were living under the same roof.

I couldn't understand why I was affected by his presence. Well, not entirely. I mean, the silence between us bothered me. I wanted to start a conversation but was tongue-tied every time his eyes met mine. Uh, his eyes reminded me of someone. I hate the feeling.

I wasn't comfortable living with a guy I just met. Add the fact that he is my classmate. People might think something is going on between us. There's nothing going on, yet gossip can create different stories. But Tita Annly trusts Aae, so I should try my best to be friends with him. Though I doubt if he would like to be friends with me.

A while ago, I heard the gate creak half minutes before five. Morning practice usually starts around five in the morning and Aae is too early for that considering our place is just a minute walk to the school. Well, not that I care, just curious.

I envy him. How I wish I'm a morning person too, but I'm just a couch potato.

"What did you do last night?" Zack asked which made me back to my senses. "Why didn't you sleep early?"

"I answered the activities in math. Though, I'm not yet done. I don't know how to solve them," I uttered while still trying to sleep on my desk.

"Why didn't you ask me?" he replied. "You should have called."

"I was supposed to." I yawned. "But, you went home late, and I don't want to disturb you. Kindly get my activity sheets in my bag and check them, please."

"Nah," he reacted. "You can bother me anytime you want." That was the last word I heard from Zack before I fell asleep.

Gab woke me up during recess to share her snacks with me.

"Are you done with your activities? Miss Alvarez said you'll be taking the quiz tomorrow," Gab said. She looked bored as she chewed the chocolate bar.

"Not yet." I gasped for air and wiped the sides of my mouth. I looked at my watch and realized I slept for two periods. "Gosh, I overslept," I retorted.

"It's okay. We didn't do anything. The teachers had a faculty meeting," Gab explained. "Zack told me not to wake you up, so I didn't," she said without looking at me. She stood up to throw the plastics on the trash bin beside the door.

"What? I'm not yet done with my activities," I panicked. I unzipped my backpack to find my activity sheets. "What, where are-"

Gab pointed at Zack's table. "He answered the complicated ones. Feel free to answer the rest." She bit her nails. "Do you have a nail cutter?"

I rolled my eyes. "This isn't your house Gab, stop biting your nails," I exclaimed. "But, wait, oh my gosh, he answered it!"

"I'm bored." Gab pouted.

"Help me solve this if you're bored."

"Oh, I think I need to read a novel," she grinned as she pretended to read books, though I know she's just too lazy to help me solve problems.

"Just ask Zack. I hate numbers too."

"Where the hell is he?" I muttered. Maybe, football duties again.

Oh my gosh! What am I going to do? How am I supposed to answer all this? I am truly grateful because Zack answered the complicated problems, though I still couldn't form a smile knowing I don't know how to solve them. Miss Alvarez, our math teacher, would know I was not the one who answered them if I got zero on quizzes.

I don't need answers. I need a tutor. Where the hell is Zack?

Zack was still not around after the bell. I checked his math notebook for references and realized he never jotted down. Gab taught me some of the formulas with easy examples, but not those with complicated solutions.

Oh my gosh, Zacky! Where are you?

"Where the hell is Zacky?" I circled the cafeteria hoping to find a 6-foot tanned guy, with a spiky quiff haircut.

"He was gone during math," Gab replied as we queued. "Today is Wednesday, so he'd be sharing meals with the boys." She picked two trays from the sides and handed me the other one.

"Curry, beef, adobo, sinigang," she enumerated the dishes on the menu. "What are you going to eat?"

"Sinigang," I replied.

My eyes found the usual seats of the boys in our class, but there was no shadow of Zack.

Is he still in the field? Omg! The sun is blazing with heat rays. Are they insane? They have a lot of time for practice, why now?

"Let's go this way. I'll ask the boys," I said after choosing my meal for the day. Gab picked some chocolates on our way out of the line. I carried the tray and slowly passed by the lines of students.

I almost bumped into a group of freshies as they were not paying attention. They were giggling, and I saw them admiring the group of boys in my class.

"Freshies are not allowed here," I said in annoyance. Juniors and Seniors occupied the first floor of the cafeteria, while the freshies and sophies stayed on the second floor. It was the rule made by the school to maintain discipline in the cafeteria. Each section in the high school department has their own table in the cafeteria.

They shook their head in embarrassment and hurriedly went upstairs.

"Tsk. Do you think I'll make money if I sell our boys?" Gab asked.

"Woah, that's a good idea," I replied. "Let's divide the money. Who are we going to sell?" I joked.

"Zack," she stated.

"Psh! As if someone will buy him."

I sensed Gab's surveying me before making a laugh.

"Whatever you're thinking, keep it."

She shrugged. "I'm not thinking."

I know she's thinking of a possibility of Zack and I being together. Well, a lot of people have been telling us that we look good together. But then, I don't know. I don't want to ruin the friendship, so I just want to go with the flow.

"Hi, have you seen Zack?" I circled my eyes around their long table before stopping to meet Chad's flashy stare. Aae was sitting beside him. He stared for a second before eating his fillet.

"Woah, missing your boyfriend?" He started teasing. Chad has been my classmate since first grade. We're close enough for me to accept a teasing remark from him, so let's ignore it.

"Chad, where's Lauv?" I teased back. Lauv is the pretty girl from St. Joan of Arc, the section beside us.

"She's my best friend," he replied. "But, you are not sure if Zack is your best friend or..."

I gave him a deadly stare before he could even continue. He laughed. "Fine, you guys are just best friends since seventh-grade." He looked not convinced while he played with his spoon and fork.

I noticed the vacant seat beside Geralt, the usual spot of Zack. The long table at the side corner of the cafeteria had been the place for the nine boys in our class since ninth grade.

Freshies and sophies stood upstairs to glance at them during lunch.The best thing in our school is that we are taught how to be prim and proper. No crowded hallways when boys were walking, no noise, no drama, no bitching, no fan clubs, just us silently admiring the boys of their choice. Same, with boys admiring girls. Of course, that's the case in our school. Probably, the perks when you grew up under the care of Dominican Sisters.

"Do you believe that they are just best friends?" Geralt added.

"We don't," the boys said in chorus, well except for Aae.

Gab joined them. Gosh! Is it even right to join them? Ah, yeah, she was the president of our loveteam, if there is even one.

"Whatever! I just need him. How about you guys teach me in math?" I proposed.

"Ouch! How sad! You only look for me when you need something. That hurts!" A baritone voice made me turn. Zack's veins were popping out his arms as he eagerly brushed his hair using the towel.

I smelled mint when he stood next to me. He was already wearing his uniform except for his vest. Zack hated wearing his vest that you have to remind him all the time.

"At least I still look for you," I replied, teasingly.

"Fair point." Zack laughed. "I'll give you my notes - oh! I don't have that so I'll teach you later." He tapped Geralt to move an inch for him to sit.

"Okay," I replied.

He turned to me with a grinned before eating his curry - again, well for the nth time.

"Wear your vest," I remind him before going to our table. The boys started teasing us. I was used to it, so nevermind.

I started my training after the afternoon class. I felt alive again as the coldness of water traced every inch of my body.

My brother, Zon, was the reason I got into swimming. He loved spending time on beaches when we were kids. He played baseball on the shore as I ran towards the water. He was the one who taught me how to swim and invested effort for me to become a swimmer. At first, I thought I enjoyed it because of my brother, but sooner I came to appreciate it because it made me happy. Sadly, it was the water that killed him, and it was killing me too.

What would you do if the thing that kills you makes you feel alive?

"Don't worry about the time for now," Coach Chris assured me. "It's your first time again, so let's focus on your stroke and condition first. Don't push yourself. If something happens, you have to tell me, okay?" He tapped my shoulder. He has been my Coach since first grade. I promised to bring him to the Olympics, yet I was no longer sure if I could.

"Can I make it?" I uttered, worried.

I could still swim. My left arm finally healed. Although I was still suffering from trauma, my therapist allowed me to go back to swimming. She told me it's a way for me to overcome what's keeping me insane.

"You can make it to the opening next month. Trust yourself. I believe in you." Coach Chris gave me a power hug. "Another lap and you're good to go."

"Yes, Coach. Thank you!"

After training, I went to the grocery store. I don't know how to cook, so I bought all the good-to-go foods I could eat during dinner. I might eat loaf, fruits, or salads because Coach would kill me if I do not watch my diet. Should I ask Coach for a free breakfast?

---

The rays of light scattered around the aisle of the Victorian house welcomed me. The house scared me the first time, but now I was amazed by its minimalist interior.

I think Aae liked how serene the house is. It suited him very well. I imagined him finding himself in every corner of the house.

I left the groceries in the fridge before stepping into the L-shaped stairs. I passed by Aae's room on the way to my room. Aae occupied the first room next to the stairs, and I stayed next door. I thought of checking him, so I stood in front of the door for a minute then decided not to.

What would I ask him?

Should I ask him if he already ate? What good would it do when I don't have food to offer?

I was sure he already ate. There was leftover food on the table. If only it's not something I was allergic to, I would ask him if I could have it.

Okay, nevermind! I'd eat fruits and drink black coffee because I need something to wake me up from this deafening silence.

Wait, will he get mad if I play music on speakers?

Ugh! I missed our house and my room where I could freely do anything without thinking of someone.

Ah, yeah! Should I ask him to teach me? He's good at Math. Zack wasn't able to teach me because of football training. They're putting a lot of pressure on him, being the captain and the ace player, so it must be hard on him.

Yeah! Do it, Zee. You're classmates. What is wrong with that?

Nothing.

It is that whenever I look at him, I see my brother.