CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

RILEY

“What else would I do for you to reciprocate and give me your love? Hold me in your arms, in your bed? Jude, its been almost a year, and I cant even tell what your favourite food is. I have experienced loneliness almost all my life, and I walked up to you on our wedding day because your eyes spoke promises of companionship. And, oh how I craved that. If only I knew marriage would be this lonely, maybe I would have reconsidered my decision.” I fold my arms and look away from those lying eyes.

We are at a garden carpeted by very green and very soft grasses. The scenery is one to live for. The sKY is so blue, and the breeze is soothing, making my hair go here and there.

I don’t know how we got here, but I love it here.

By we, I mean, myself and the love of my life, Jude.

I am in a flower pronted yellow dress that complements the scenery, my hair, I had left flowing. I sit, arms folded, leg stretched out and crossee in an elegant stlye.

I feel beautiful.

I feel free.

The flowers around speak to my soul. I see suflowers and red hibiscuses, mirroring my emotions. Bright and beautiful.

And I remember my forever dream, to own my own garden and cultivate beautiful flowers of all shades, for different occasions and that have in them different meanings.

That is a hanging dream. If not a dead one. I had one day, spoken of it to Theresa, the only one I really talk to, about making small beds for little flowers that ill go into the woods to search for one that grow in shrbus that I can plant behind the delivery room at the Base.

I had said this as a passing thought, probably pushed by the extreme boredom I feel on most days. Ironically, the delivery processes, which I still throw up at, has become the highlight of my daye. If not that, I stay, doing nothing.

And I hate doing nothing.

I still remember the look she gave me that day.

“What? You don’t like flowers?” I had asked, unsure.

“Who doesn’t? Every sane person loves flowers. But it all depends on who plants them.” Theresa has been getting outspoken and comfortable, sometimes, way too comfortable with me.

But I don’t mind. I have lived my life being insulted, that I no longer react to it, or even recognize one.

“oh, be rest assured that I’m good with flowers. Let me tell you a secret, I had a very small garden behind my pa’s house. It was where I spent my time whenever I’m not, you know, busy. You should have seen it, those pretty things were so tiny and so beautiful, but I was happy that I have instigated and nutured life. I used to call them my babies.” I ended with a chuckle at my own joke. While my audience just stared me down.

Those precious memories.

“How old were you then?”

The question came unexpected.

“Well I was ten. But Cassy’s mom said I had magic hands.” Too much information.

“Then you were ten, free to dream, free to play. Now you are Luna.”

When used in this context, the Luna rank feels like a heavy wet coat that has been placed on my shoulders to limit me.

“Oh. But, so?”

“The Luna of Green Creek Pack would not go about searching for wild crops in the wild, soiling her hands in the process.”

“Their flowers, not wild crops. And I soil my hands in blood almost every week, assisting the midwife in delivering the women of their pups.” I had defended.

“that is different. You are playing a motherly role to the pack, and that, if you didn’t run off every second to vomit, should be applauded. But cultivating things is not what a Luna does. Any wonder why it is called soiling? Bes ause it is done with actual soil.”

That made a lot of sense.

So I automatically thfew back that dream into the dusty and cobwebs infested space in my head, where it had always been.

But being here, in this beautiful place, where the sun radiates on those yellow and red surface, accentuating its magnificence, the beauty calls onto my soul.

“But I promised to be there for you, didn’t I?” Jude voice comes out… soft, soothing.

I almost do not recognize it.

I turn back to his direction and find the love of my life, my big strong Alpha right on his knees.

For me.

His palms are placed together in front of him, and there is that look on his face, where his eyebrows fold together, meeting eachother at the centre, his eyes are hooded and soft.

Pleading.

What’s going on?

Im both confused and pleased at this.

“Yeah, in the vows which you said alone. You didn’t even let me speak.”

“I made those promises from the deepest part of my heart, Riley.”

He remembers my name?

“I know life hasn’t been at its best for you. I know you have been through a whole lot that some amongst us that have lived up to a hundred and fifty, cant even relate to. I know.”

He knows?

“But I will be your bestfriend. I’ll be your Alpha. Ill be your man. Ill be ears to your very boring and very funny stories. Ill be shoulders when you seek for a place to lean on or cry on. Ill be a shield to protect you from all confrontation. A blanket in storm, wind in heat. Please baby, please just come back home.”

Oh, I had left home. Why didn’t I remember that.

Well, he has come to get me.

“Y…you will?” I stutter.

I CAn feel his sincerity from his words. His eyes punctuation the truths in his staetments. As I watch him, I feel something wet run down my face.

Tears.

Riley does not cry.

On realizing what it is, I chase after it and wipe it off.

“I promise you that. And I swear by the Moon Goddess to follow through with this promises. From this night, you will move into our room, into our bed, into my arms. No more skeeping with the rats in the kitchen. We’ll go visit the dress maker tomorrow to take your measurements and make for you a wardrobe full of beautiful magnificent dresses, befitting your status. You are Luna, and you will definitely be treated as one.”

Words I have longed to hear.

“You called me a slut.” I pout, taking my eyes from his as I look away.

With his palm, he pulls my face back to it’s initial position, maintaining eye contact.

“you, Riley are MY slut.”

My face heats up. Noticing this, he chuckles at my reaction to his dirty words.

“You cute wife of mine.” The pinches my right cheek.

And I blush harder.

“You said I have a rat mouth.” I eye him.

“How foolish I can be sometimes. I was just mad that there is a thing you eat that I don’t eat.” He looks away in…shame? “its safe to say I was jealous of that damn rat.”

“Rat?”

“sorry, grasscutter.” His eyes returns to mine. “But you can have it all you want. I even told Theresa, before I came I search of you, to prepare and roast some grass cutters. I instructed to make it delicious and spicy. You like it spicy, right?” he wriggles his brows.

I smile. “umhm.”

“Good. Get out ready to have a plateful of it when we get home.”

Home.

If only he knows that he is my home. And im comfortable wherever he is.

I don’t remember why I left home But I know it must have been something very serious for me to have left.

But he’s here, begging. So its fine.

I strtche my hands to cup his face, his eyes go close as my thumbs make contact with his brows. How soft they are. How beautiful he is.

I pull him to sit close to me on the grass. And he engulfs me in a warm embrace.

I feel safe.

We stay in that position for some tome, till I break the silence. Since I am stating my dislikes, might as well state the most disturbing of them all.

I slowly return to sitting upright, breaking off from our embrace.

“Jude, I have tried. Like I have witnessed about twenty delivery sessions, and every time, it’s a disaster for me, as I end up vomiting multiple times before it comes to an end. I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to see me as less. But I can’t just take it anymore. The thought of all those blood dries me up. Now imagine what the actual sight of it does to me. Can I just stop doing it? I promise to find something else to do as Luna.”

“Yes.”

“Y…yes?”

Woah. That came faster than I expected.

“Yes. You will no longer get involved with things you don’t like. It hurts me to see you in pains and it hurt more to see you not beliving my words. I know ive not been in my best. But Riley, henceforth, ill take care of you, as you are priority.”

“I am?”

“Don’t you ever doubt that for a second.”

“I won’t. Kiss me?”

“You need not to ask my lady. Ill settle for a kiss here, but when I finally get you to my bed, ill slide into you and drill you so hard, you’ll lose your voice screaming my name. And in the next decade, we’ll have ten pups running about in the Base.” Those eyes shone with heat.

My whole body blush to his words.

“you want a pup for every year?” I chuckle playfully.

“why not? I am an Alpha that want a pup on every year as a winter gift from the love of his life.” He shrugs, a smile on his lips.

I go still.

“You...you love me?”

“come, let me show you how much.”

Slowly, his face begins to get close to mine.

His closes his eyes and continue getting closer ti me. He shoots out his lips, those lips that are really close to mine.

I close my eyes, waiting to have my first kiss.

Oh hiw I have longed for this. How I have waited for this

With my eyes closed, I see stars fly about like fireflies around an empty blues space.

I wait.

And wait.

“Luna!”

I hear a distant, almost nonexistent voice call me. But, nothing can take this moment from me.

Nothing.

“Luna.”

That is Theresa’s voice. Why is she calling my name? Why now?

Is Jude disturbed by her presence? Is that why he hasn’t giving me the kiss yet?

I make the move, my eyes still closed, I push my face forward, willing my pursed lips to make contact with his.

But I come in contact with nothing.

Has he left?

I open my eyes with a start, ready to seek for my husband.

My eyes clme in contact with a large pot on the low burning fireplace. The kitchen.

How did I get back here? I scream in my mind, trying to make sense of what is happening.

“oh thank goodness, you have finally decided to awaken from your beauty sleep.” Theresa is standing right beside my resting place in the kitchen.

Was that a dream?

My vision is quite blurred, but I can see worry on her face.

I don’t care.

She had pulled me from that safe happy world. I am mad at her.

“the whole pack is gathered outside for an urgent meeting. There is an emergency. Everywhere is in chaos and everyone os confused. I was told told to get you, but on arriving here, I met you asleep. My Luna, you are summoned.”

I hear something in her voice. I perceive something in her words.

But I ignore it as I use all strength left in me to get up to my feet.

Ill give anything to remain in that world that I just left.

Anything.

Just not to return to this harsh reality.