Prologue

I suppose it was always known that negro girls with a lighter shade of skin tone worked in the main house and the rest out in the burning sun at the plantations. Somehow, i got really lucky. I remember the day when my mother was called in the master's house. I was afraid, thinking the worst was yet to be said but to our surprise; he mentioned his son.

William Gallagher, who was in need of a maid. My mother was overjoyed, she thought this was a great idea. She did not wish for me to spend each and every single day of the rest of my life, working out in the field with the sun blazing and feet aching.. sores all around.

William Gallagher.

I remember the first time i met him. I was six and he was eleven. Sparkling blue eyes filled with innocence, blonde locks, a charming smile. My father had been called in the house, i had to wait outside like a dog.. with the rest of the other dogs which i really liked. There was german shepard called dusty. He was very loving and kept licking my face unfortunately after that incident. Dusty had to go bath and get cleaned up after being seen near... me. I didn't understand much, i didn't understand at all.

He asked me if he could touch my hair, William ofcourse.

I replied 'Sure, can I touch yours as well?'. He nodded, i smiled. Those were the first words we ever said to each other. His hair was soft and silky unlike mine.

"I always imagined, it would be harder but it's actually very soft." William said softly.

William's father then abruptly came out fuming and kicked me to the ground, which really hurt physically. He pulled William by his right arm and shoved him in the house. I perfectly remember the words he said to my father.. "Fredrick keep that thing away from my son. Don't ever bring it here again, near my family."

That's when i realised, we were different and unwanted.

My great grandmother was a maid to the Gallagher family. They had land in Africa, in a small country called Southern Rhodesia (now called Zimbabwe), colonised by the British. When the Gallagher family moved back to Britain. They were so fond of my great-grandmother and her obidience and hardwork; that they brought her along. That's where my name came from 'Panashe' it means God is with us. In french Panache is a very different meaning. I only knew this because one of the slaves that had been brought from France told me about it. Unfortunately he died way too early from a horrid beating. He always said what was on his mind and did not give a care in the world what the masters thought of him and being obidient.

I suppose we all wish we had those guts.

It's not that easy!

The first time William touched me. I ran back home about four killometres. I wasn't thinking about how this would affect my whole family. I had practically been put high up on the slave food chain and here i was, causing them shame. I went straight to the slave commune, the house where all the slaves stayed. I told my mother how Master William had touched me and taken my viginity. I was disgusted with myself because he had a wife and a five year old son even though it was not my fault. My mother calmly said "..Nashe, you're there to serve him and his family.. never question it."

The very next morning, Master William came to the ranch.. looking for me. I was grateful, he did not tell on me. He told his father that, i had came to visit my family for a little while