Good morrow.First off, do you understand the awkward position you're putting me in? William is writing on my behalf. I speak, he writes. I will learn soon enough, I will get better at writing but I can not bare having a horridly amateur written letter travel all the way to France to my dearest friend. You deserve the best there is and that is my husband's rather stunning handwriting.(Ps. It's William, how are you Hector? She doesn't know I wrote this part.)William and I are expecting, that is how I bribed him into hand writing my letter for me while I sat back and simply talked. The baby could be here anytime now, perhaps a day? A week? Who knows it's nine months already... with Christian you remember how he came early. I still can not fathom that I will go through with this again? I cried like a little child during Christian's birth. I'm only hopeful that this one goes just as smoothly. Besides, the perks of having a lifelong partner who happens to be a doctor could make it somewh
Dear Hector.I could have sworn yesterday, just yesterday... we were together as he helped me write to you. The thought of it all fills my eyes with tears. Thank you for the letter you sent forth of your condolences, I must apologize that I did not reply almost immediately. I thank you for all your well wishes, I know if you could... you would have been here. My apologies yet again for replying only a year and a half later. I needed time, to re-evaluate everything, my life without him; well what's left of it. I needed to calm myself as I could not believe he was really gone. The last thirty-three years have been an unforgettable journey. I've had to restart this letter many times. Each time, I write and start to reminisce tears soak in the poor sheet. My heart feels heavy with hurt, I feel alone even when surrounded by all these wonderful people who care for me. I miss him every single day, his cologne, his smile, his—everything.I can not explain my sorrow and need to be with him. M
I suppose it was always known that negro girls with a lighter shade of skin tone worked in the main house and the rest out in the burning sun at the plantations. Somehow, i got really lucky. I remember the day when my mother was called in the master's house. I was afraid, thinking the worst was yet to be said but to our surprise; he mentioned his son.William Gallagher, who was in need of a maid. My mother was overjoyed, she thought this was a great idea. She did not wish for me to spend each and every single day of the rest of my life, working out in the field with the sun blazing and feet aching.. sores all around.William Gallagher.I remember the first time i met him. I was six and he was eleven. Sparkling blue eyes filled with innocence, blonde locks, a charming smile. My father had been called in the house, i had to wait outside like a dog.. with the rest of the other dogs which i really liked. There was german shepard called dusty. He was very loving and kept licking my face un
Called me ugly. You would think that if you accommodated the master's sexual needs, he would at least treat you with some human decency.. clearly that was a foolish thought. The William I had once met when I was six had changed. He was made aware of his white privilege and he became just like them. He treated me worse than waste, he made feel dirty and inutile but most of all ugly. I failed to understand how he would continuously throw heinous words at me every given moment and yet always somehow found his way in my room in the basement. I wasn't allowed to touch him, I didn't.Instead, I just laid back with my legs wide open. He would do what he needed to. Sometimes, I got moist with anticipation, and sometimes I was dry with hate and it only made it awfully agonizing on my part. I always tried my best to think of happier things. I wasn't allowed to look at him, I didn't. I always looked aside, at the wall or anything but not him. I always managed to sneak peaks at him when he cl
"Who is he?""Master—""Answer my question?" Master William yelled. I could hear my heart drumming in my own ears."Do you have any interest in him?" He questioned, clenching his jaw.I nodded, immediately earning myself a hard stinging slap on my left cheek that had me landing on the floor.Tears stung under my eyes, I didn't dare look up. I didn't dare stand up."He wants to marry me.." I finally answered. "I apologize, If I angered you Master. I'm not good enough, I don't deserve to be here. I would like to go work in the field where I belong. You deserve better. I'm not the best looking person as you have mentioned. If I don't take this marriage proposal, I fear I will not have any other future proposals." I said these words hoping they would please him and he would grant me permission to leave. It had been three months since he broke my virginity. Three months of being spoiled and ravaged by him. I hope, my agreeing to being worthless would give him the satisfaction to allow me
I was washing a load dishes after Lady Tracy's friends had taken their leave. They held a book club every month and took turns hosting at each others houses. This month was Lady Tracy's turn."Your room wreaks of a male whiff." She said out of the blue. When had she even gone down there? I couldn't open the windows so I knew she was right. Anyone who knew the smell that was produced when male and female genitalia entertwined knew well enough that it didn't go away in just a few seconds. I had learnt that the hard way over these past couple of months. It required a lot of baths."Are you bringing men into my home?" Lady Tracy scowled. She looked very angry. I had no way of answering this, I could not tell her that her husband came in every night or sometimes twice per week, it all depended on his schedule or if Lady Tracy was asleep or out."No, Ma'am."My answered seemed to aggravate her. She immediately slapped me, it stung because she wore her wedding ring and it would surely leave
"Master William was here, yesterday." My dear mother said with a gentle smile. I did not wish to speak of him. I just sighed.."What's wrong Nashe?""I want to go back home.." I immediately burst out crying. I had been holding it in for so long that being with my mother.. just made me show my vulnerability out in the open."It's not easy out here in the field, my child." She rubbing soft circles behind my back. I knew why she was happy for me... My two brothers had been sold off when they were only sixteen and we hadn't seen them in over eight years. That hurt my mother deeply, we had no communication with them.. infact we did not know if they were still with the living."I know but—""No but's, this is what's best for you. I had to serve Master William's father and it did me good. My husband was treated better and so were my kids. Well atleast a tad bit better.."I was absolutely taken aback but then it all made sense how my mother had to spend the night else where and—My brothers!
Forget when I said I had it good.Just think of it no more.I nursed the bruises on my face, mainly under my eye. I dare say, as it may be, I deserved it. Master William's had visitors, they had supper here. Upon my serving... the seemingly old aged man grabbed my behind making me lose my grip on the tray I was holding. It all went daubing all over him and his wife. I didn't do it calculatedly, I swear I didn't. I was startled, this had happened so many times to me in my life but I still managed to be startled. It was never something I would get used to.The man continuously said that my owners didn't discipline me enough and that I was a little ungrateful floozy. He also kept talking about my body. He said it was my fault that I wore a dress that outline my behind like that. I did not own any tight fitting clothes, I did not understand what he wanted me to wear. I did not respond as I cleaned up the mess. As soon as I was done, Master William stared at me with so much vile anger. Lady
Dear Hector.I could have sworn yesterday, just yesterday... we were together as he helped me write to you. The thought of it all fills my eyes with tears. Thank you for the letter you sent forth of your condolences, I must apologize that I did not reply almost immediately. I thank you for all your well wishes, I know if you could... you would have been here. My apologies yet again for replying only a year and a half later. I needed time, to re-evaluate everything, my life without him; well what's left of it. I needed to calm myself as I could not believe he was really gone. The last thirty-three years have been an unforgettable journey. I've had to restart this letter many times. Each time, I write and start to reminisce tears soak in the poor sheet. My heart feels heavy with hurt, I feel alone even when surrounded by all these wonderful people who care for me. I miss him every single day, his cologne, his smile, his—everything.I can not explain my sorrow and need to be with him. M
Good morrow.First off, do you understand the awkward position you're putting me in? William is writing on my behalf. I speak, he writes. I will learn soon enough, I will get better at writing but I can not bare having a horridly amateur written letter travel all the way to France to my dearest friend. You deserve the best there is and that is my husband's rather stunning handwriting.(Ps. It's William, how are you Hector? She doesn't know I wrote this part.)William and I are expecting, that is how I bribed him into hand writing my letter for me while I sat back and simply talked. The baby could be here anytime now, perhaps a day? A week? Who knows it's nine months already... with Christian you remember how he came early. I still can not fathom that I will go through with this again? I cried like a little child during Christian's birth. I'm only hopeful that this one goes just as smoothly. Besides, the perks of having a lifelong partner who happens to be a doctor could make it somewh
Bonjour madameI'm well aware that you were not expecting this but here, I am to inform you that I'm alive living in Lyon and still as faggot as could be. (dear lord Jesus I pray this does not fall in the wrong hands). If it does, I repeat... I Hector, I'm alive, well; learnt a bit of French and as homophile as could be. You, my dear friend probably assumed I'd be quick to forget you? I'd never, we've been through so much together. The past eight years of sorrows although I must admit when we first spoke, I should not have told you to hang yourself. In my defense... I was jealous because I was not the one William Gallagher was swooning over. My, asking you to hang yourself... that was very malicious. Especially in your state of pregnancy with my godson. I truly regret and take back my words when I stumble upon that memory in my thoughts.How I miss, England... France is stupendous, the French language is just comely very difficult but how I miss being around people who actually unders
"...uh William?""Yes darlin, I'm here." He said snuggling closer and enveloping her with his large arms. She fit perfectly."Where's my mother?" She asked.This caught William off guard, he had not expected her to ask of her as soon as she woke up. He did not want her to stress over pointless issues such as Doris but being fair, Doris was her mother and she had every right to know.He knew Panashe always always took her mother back no matter what, he was very much fearful of her asking for her mother. With her expecting there was no telling whether she would be happy or fuming."I—""You did what?""I've made a decision and from here on she will reside at a different plantation..""The Cunningham ranch?" She asked, that was the only ranch that was closer to theirs. William took his time replying... "She is better off far from here.""Where?""In another city far away from us? See what she did that was unforgivable! She wanted to take her life on my mother's porch, Doris is mental and
"If you dare take a step in my father's home, Doris!""I'm coming inside be it you like it or not. That is my daughter and and—" Doris stuttered, grieving fear that her daughter could die settled in. Her face went stale with fear... desperate to see to her daughter's needs. "I love her so much, I miss her dearly. You can not possibly be as vile as to leave me here. I gave birth to her, she is my little girl and I can't bare you manipulating her into being a white mans whore."With that, William had bottled up enough. His hand had been itching to do the unthinkable. He was worried for Panashe and here again he has to continue dealing with Doris. He wondered just how long he would have to deal with her.Everything had been going well until she came with her tantrums. Panashe was doing well until her mother came like the devil she is waiting to take away her happiness."Master William, she is heating up..." One of the maids who had been at Panashe's care told him.His heart dropped, he w
As they sat on the balcony enjoying the sun that rarely ever came out in England.Panashe had made lunch, it gave her an opportunity to treat the kitchen stuff with some human decency such as giving them a break or some days off.They saw Ralph Gallagher arriving from his date, the sixteen year old seemed aflamed, a visible grin on his face. Panashe could only hope that all had went well with Sandy.Liam had wanted to prove to his half brothers that negroes were normal people just like them, in doing so... he invited Ralph and Chester to meet Panashe.It had taken weeks to get acquainted and used to each other but with Panashe being very likable and accommodating... it was easy for Ralph and Chester to see why Liam loved her and could not blabbering about his childhood memories."Teenagers are gross!" Chester said to Liam who agreed with a chuckle and a look of disgust. Christian and Addie only seemed confused as they ate their food."He will probably talk about Sandy Hemings for an h
Hugging the blankets closer to her body, she could hear the echoes of kids laughing, playing and running around the corridors of the huge Gallagher home. She assumed, she had heard Liam but knowing the situation and how he had developed some sort of abhorrence and never failed his hostility towards her.A feeling of sadness had overcame her emotions lately. As much as she had confronted her mother and felt good about it... she couldn't help but feel sad.Not for her mother or their broken relationship, not for anyone or anything. It was overwhelming to think about everything she had been through. The tragedies that she had stumbled upon, the overwhelming feeling that this was her life.Maybe she did not deserve to have all the she had? Williams love and affection? The anxious feeling of knowing someday she might lose his love and attention. Her heart and mind her told her that she was not entirely alone... she had her son and William but a feeling of a dread always sneaked in and remi
Chester Gallagher was quick to pin Liam to the ground. Ruffling his hair in a playful manner, Liam groaned. "Off me you bloody gibface.""Ohh did your mental mother teach you that one?" He chuckled, seemingly not offended.Groaning with anger, Liam grabbed a handful of Chester's hair making him wince. "Quit being a meater Liam and fight me with you fists...""No chance, hornswoggler!""Wait—" Chester said offended. "Did Ralph teach you that?""Maybe..""RALPH!!!" They both yelled.The young man entered the room only to see the two brawling at each other like animals. Reading his mail, he only turned to look the other way."Why did you teach him that?" Chester asked a tad bit hurt. "I thought I was your favorite brother—"Liam finally sat up breathing hard after having been pinned down for too long by his nearly obese half brother."Well, Liam helped me say a few kind words to Sandy... in my last letter." Ralph replied. "Look here, she replied. She even called me handsome worthy...""T
Even though seventy-two hours had passed, she could still feel the present ache of disappointment, hurt, frustration?Panashe did not know how to feel. Her tears refused to fall, she told everyone she was doing alright. She smiled but beneath it all she could feel the anger and hatred towards her mother growing and growing... William had questioned how she wanted to handle the whole situation but she told him, she would deal with it and that she did. Doris was no longer her mother, they were merely strangers and she had made that very clear on their last encounter.—"Panashe, did you see what that lover of yours did to me?" Her mother let out crocodile tears. "How can he shame me in front of all those people? Manhandle me in the presence of the people I live with..."Panashe crossed her arms allowing her mother to talk. "You only came to see me as of late? Why now? You have been distributing goodies for everyone but now you're here out of guilt?" This made Panashe let out a bitter