First Night on the Road

<<Xavier's POV>>

Zoe had been distant with me since we started the road trip. Who could blame her? I didn't. I blamed my bad decisions for putting such a wall between us that it was going to be hard to break it down and get to her. 

But I was nothing if I wasn't relentless. 

We had no idea what to expect in Kansas City. I would've asked someone to fly in and take a look before us just for Zoe's safety. But, I needed to stay out of touch for the sake of keeping my pack safe from the consequences of my actions. 

An Alpha was nothing without his pack. But, a wolf was nothing without his mate. To be a stronger Alpha and protect my people, I needed to be a better mate. And that meant doing everything I could to seek Zoe's forgiveness and hopefully take her back to my pack that had been without a leader for so long. 

I knew leaving Gramps in charge was as good as it could get. She was resourceful and wise but the world was changing. Awful things were going on. I was hoping that this road trip with Zoe could be my salvation as much as it could be hers. 

As she sat across me at the small diner, there were so many things that I wanted to say to her. There were so many things we needed to do. We had already wasted so much time. First, me with my indecisiveness and Claire, and then, with Peterson and Golden Eclipse. I was so ready to put everything behind us and start again. If only she would give us a second chance. I imagined letting me come with her was a good enough start, even though I was not allowed to talk much.

I could sense that she was going through something. She kept talking to her animal, which was fair. After all, I used to talk to Spike for hours when he woke up for the first time. But it was different with Zoe. It was probably because of all the loss in her life. She didn't smile anymore. She talked less and when she did it was only 'Don't do this' or 'Don't do that' and 'Do this' or 'Do that'. 

I knew I was a major culprit in getting her there. I intended to change that.

Despite everything, she was so beautiful and unique. I wondered if she realized how gorgeous she was even if she was road-and-loss weary. I could see that she was tired. So, I started thinking about how to make her rest for the night. I couldn't complain, or she would just ask me to stay silently or go back and I couldn't let her go alone.

Our dinner was served and she silently dug in. She kept glancing out of the window. I could sense that she felt uncomfortable sitting across from me when she blamed me for her father's death. I blamed myself for Joe's death. I should've ordered someone to keep him away. Of course, a father would be worried about his only child. Not every father was like mine.

"The car needs rest. It has been driven all day. That's more than how much it has been driven in more than a decade. Let's get a room. You can rest your eyes too." I finally said as I paid the bill despite her trying to pay for herself.

She was about to answer when a yawn interrupted her and she turned away from me to look at the car. After a second, she sighed and walked away.

"Keep up, will you?" She said behind her and I started following her. 

"Are we staying?" I asked just to confirm.

She whirled around to face me and stopped, "First of all, there is no we. And second, I will do as I please. You are welcome to go back for all I care. You are only here because of Aunt Julie."

I wanted to smile. She looked adorable as she looked up at me. The way her hair fell across the shaven side of her head. The way her eyes lit up with emotion. She was a strong woman to be acting the way she was after everything she had been through. The diner lights reflected in her eyes and I felt drawn to her. 

She was saying something but every time she looked at me, I felt blown away by my feelings. It had been so freeing to accept what I felt for her, instead of fighting and pushing her away. I was stupid enough to push her too hard, but I was going to grasp at straws if it meant Zoe was on the other end.

"Ugh!" She groaned and got into the car. My lack of response must've made her frustrated. But it was better to be silent and let her vent than talk back and give her more reason to be upset at me. 

I got into the passenger seat and she started driving.

I stopped myself from smiling when we pulled over in the parking lot of a local motel. She had decided to take my advice after all. I had never been to such places. But I was not going to complain as long as it meant I was close to Zoe. 

I followed her in as she got us rooms.

She talked with the receptionist and turned to give me a key. I cocked a brow, "We should save money and get one room." 

She rolled her eyes and walked away, "Not even in your dreams."

Whether the swing of her hip was intentional or not, it didn't escape my notice. My heart skipped a beat. Did this mean that she was softening towards me? Or was I just being too hopeful and looking for clues where there were none? After all, it was our first day on the road. Maybe it was Dahlia's doing. Who knows.

That night, Zoe and I lay in small, smelly, motel rooms across each other. I couldn't sleep the whole night, for many reasons. But most of all, I was ready to start taking action to prove to Zoe how desperate I was for her forgiveness.