I've changed my hair five times so far and I'm still not happy with it. I've put make-up on, taken it off and put it back on again and now I'm staring at my reflection annoyed that I feel so nervous about going to school this morning.
It's Luke. Just Luke.
But this is the first time I'm going to see him properly after ending everything. I'm not counting Friday night's episode since it was so chaotic and I don't really know what that was about. It felt like a goodbye, a real goodbye, a final end to whatever we were doing.
I need to get over whatever hope is still left inside me that spurted back to life when he asked me to still come to his mum's engagement do. After re-reading the messages I realised he only wants me there to keep up the pretence for his family, he even sai
Cleo's avoiding me. I thought we were getting somewhere when she invited me around Monday night, even if she quickly rescinded that invite. I'm so ready to tell her I love her and want her to be my girlfriend but I can't get a single minute with her alone. At all.All week at school she's made excuses about having to work on this stupid project and then she's supposedly had to train straight after school each night, she doesn't answer the phone and I've been half expecting her to back out of my mum's engagement party tonight. Although she'd have to actually talk to me to do that and she's not said two words to me since she hung up the phone Monday night. So I'm heading over to hers, psyching myself up to bare my soul to her, maybe in an unplanned rush in the next few minutes if she's not coming with me.I could be about to completely humiliate
One more night, I can't not do one more night with Luke after that. I know it's going to hurt tomorrow but it's worth it because I've never felt as much love for anyone as I do about him right now.That song, my god, I thought his voice was enough to have me melting, but coupled with that song, it was like he was speaking directly to my heart, my soul even and it was enough to make me forget there was anyone else in the room. If it wasn't for his mum grabbing him the second he got off stage I would have been a sobbing mess, begging him to be with me forever.We don't speak as we drive back to his house. He didn't ask if I was ok with going there and I didn't object. Maybe he wants me as much as I want him right now, I'd like it if that was true. Regardless, I'm a little scared to speak in case I break the spell we both seem to be under.
I'm so fucking happy right now, it's unbelievable. I refused to let Cleo have a moment away from me all Sunday. Ok, I did let her piss alone, but only because she made me, locking the door to keep me out and flushing the toilet before she did anything so I didn't hear her. Apparently it's a girl thing which she only admitted, with beetroot coloured cheeks, because I had an inkling about what she'd done and teased her about why she had to flush twice. But other than going to the toilet, I kept her right beside me the entire day, jumping into the shower with her in the morning and standing right beside her when we brushed our teeth. Today is going to be harder though, we've got school and I only have one lesson with her. I feel a little crazy, as though now I've finally got her, I'm terrified something's going to happen to make her realise I'm no
"It's morning, it's morning, it's not night time, it's morning." Luke sings at the top of his lungs as we walk down the hallway from our room. "Shut the fuck up, it's five am, you utter psychopath." Jenny pops her head out of her room and glares bleary eyed in our direction, her finger jutting angrily with each word. "You might think you're scary, but I will stab you in your sleep if you keep doing this every bloody day." "Jenny, you look upset darling, are you not getting laid?" He smirks at her, ducking when she launches a shoe at him. "I hate you so much, why the hell did I agree to live with you all?" With a frustrated growl, she slams her bedroom door and Luke wraps his arms around me, chuckling to himself. "You're so mean." I giggle, pressing a kiss to his chee
When I open my front door I'm greeted with chaos, my sofa's turned over and my TV is hanging off the wall. The creaking of the backdoor tells me the culprit didn't leave very long ago and I sprint through it to see the familiar figure stumbling through the back gate. "What did you take?" I ask, leaning against the fence and peering at the pathetic excuse of a man who's tripping over his own feet. "I din tek nuffin'." He slurs, falling backwards as though the effort to stay upright as well as talk is too much effort. "Dun push me lad, I coul' still giff you a gud hidin'." "Whatever, Dad, just fuck off so I can clear up the mess you've made." I say, holding the gate so he can crawl through it. He's so focused on moving, he doesn't realise he's dropped the money he's stolen from me. I wait until he's through the gate before locking it and scooping up the notes. He's broken a window in my back door to get in, so I cover it with cardboa
"Good morning, good morning." My mum sings through the crack in my bedroom door. "How did you sleep?" "Yeah, alright." I groan, shifting onto my side to check the time. 5.30am. Time to get up. "You look tired darling, you could skip training just this once you know." She sits on the edge of my bed and strokes down the side of my face. "It really won't matter on the odd occasion." "No, I'm fine, I'm ok, really. I'm just nervous about going to a new school." I give her a smile that I know she sees straight through, but she plays along. "Well…" She puts her hands on either side of her thighs and pushes herself up with a tired groan. "I am going to make croissants for breakfast. I suggest getting a couple more hours in, but if you want to train that's fine too. The
I'm a dick, I know it and it's never more apparent than when someone's doing a shit job at actively avoiding me, like Ricky Jensen is right now. He's got his hood up and is standing behind a telephone pole only looking over when he thinks I'm not looking and it's fucking hilarious. "You want to scare him a little bit?" Billy chuckles, staring at Ricky and waiting for him to look over. When he does, he pales slightly, shifting on his feet and I must be going soft because I actually feel sorry for the little shit. "Oi Ricky, here a minute." I call over and he swallows so hard, I actually see his Adam's apple bob up and down, before he's walking over to me as though he's on a funeral march. "Fucking hell, he's bricking it." Billy flicks his fingers in and out, readying
The rest of the day goes relatively simply, I get stared at for most of it, but they're the curious stares you give to a stranger, nothing malicious or suspicious and I even manage to chat to a few people in my classes, only about the lesson, but it's definitely a start. I even see the two groups that fought this morning all chatting and messing around together as I pass them in the hallway. I'm beyond confused about how they can be so friendly whilst still sporting the bruises from their fight. Before meeting the others at lunchtime, I ring my mum to let her know I'm ok. She still sounds worried so I reassure her that everyone's been really friendly, conveniently omitting the fight this morning from my story and instead telling her that the kids that you'd suspect would make your life miserable, are actually friends with the ones you'd e
"It's morning, it's morning, it's not night time, it's morning." Luke sings at the top of his lungs as we walk down the hallway from our room. "Shut the fuck up, it's five am, you utter psychopath." Jenny pops her head out of her room and glares bleary eyed in our direction, her finger jutting angrily with each word. "You might think you're scary, but I will stab you in your sleep if you keep doing this every bloody day." "Jenny, you look upset darling, are you not getting laid?" He smirks at her, ducking when she launches a shoe at him. "I hate you so much, why the hell did I agree to live with you all?" With a frustrated growl, she slams her bedroom door and Luke wraps his arms around me, chuckling to himself. "You're so mean." I giggle, pressing a kiss to his chee
I'm so fucking happy right now, it's unbelievable. I refused to let Cleo have a moment away from me all Sunday. Ok, I did let her piss alone, but only because she made me, locking the door to keep me out and flushing the toilet before she did anything so I didn't hear her. Apparently it's a girl thing which she only admitted, with beetroot coloured cheeks, because I had an inkling about what she'd done and teased her about why she had to flush twice. But other than going to the toilet, I kept her right beside me the entire day, jumping into the shower with her in the morning and standing right beside her when we brushed our teeth. Today is going to be harder though, we've got school and I only have one lesson with her. I feel a little crazy, as though now I've finally got her, I'm terrified something's going to happen to make her realise I'm no
One more night, I can't not do one more night with Luke after that. I know it's going to hurt tomorrow but it's worth it because I've never felt as much love for anyone as I do about him right now.That song, my god, I thought his voice was enough to have me melting, but coupled with that song, it was like he was speaking directly to my heart, my soul even and it was enough to make me forget there was anyone else in the room. If it wasn't for his mum grabbing him the second he got off stage I would have been a sobbing mess, begging him to be with me forever.We don't speak as we drive back to his house. He didn't ask if I was ok with going there and I didn't object. Maybe he wants me as much as I want him right now, I'd like it if that was true. Regardless, I'm a little scared to speak in case I break the spell we both seem to be under.
Cleo's avoiding me. I thought we were getting somewhere when she invited me around Monday night, even if she quickly rescinded that invite. I'm so ready to tell her I love her and want her to be my girlfriend but I can't get a single minute with her alone. At all.All week at school she's made excuses about having to work on this stupid project and then she's supposedly had to train straight after school each night, she doesn't answer the phone and I've been half expecting her to back out of my mum's engagement party tonight. Although she'd have to actually talk to me to do that and she's not said two words to me since she hung up the phone Monday night. So I'm heading over to hers, psyching myself up to bare my soul to her, maybe in an unplanned rush in the next few minutes if she's not coming with me.I could be about to completely humiliate
I've changed my hair five times so far and I'm still not happy with it. I've put make-up on, taken it off and put it back on again and now I'm staring at my reflection annoyed that I feel so nervous about going to school this morning.It's Luke. Just Luke.But this is the first time I'm going to see him properly after ending everything. I'm not counting Friday night's episode since it was so chaotic and I don't really know what that was about. It felt like a goodbye, a real goodbye, a final end to whatever we were doing.I need to get over whatever hope is still left inside me that spurted back to life when he asked me to still come to his mum's engagement do. After re-reading the messages I realised he only wants me there to keep up the pretence for his family, he even sai
I pull up outside my mum's house Saturday evening wondering if I'm making a huge mistake. I called Trevor this morning asking for his help and he seemed far too excited, but it's done now, I have to do this.Blowing out my breath, I take my hands through my hair and step out of the car. I'm fifteen minutes early, but he's doing me a favour, so I thought I'd start off on the right foot, except, by the sex noises coming from upstairs, I'm fairly confident he's not home.Or at least I hope that's not him and mum!The thought makes me shudder as images I definitely don't want to be seeing plant themselves at the forefront of my brain."Oh yes, yes, right there." Cally's voice echoes from above.
Elias doesn’t speak for a long time once we’re back at the table, just plays with his food while one side of his jaw steadily moves from red to black.“I’m so sorry.” I say eventually. He lifts an eyebrow, looking at me for further explanation. “I didn’t know Luke would be here, I’ll talk to him. He can’t go around punching people for no reason.”“This. I don’t blame you or even him really. I’d do the same if I saw Millie out on a Friday night with some guy.” He laughs, shaking his head at me and running his hand over his jaw.“That’s different, she’s your girlfriend and I’m pretty sure you’d find out what was going on before swinging your fists.” I sink into my chair, mortified about t
I'm existing, that's the only word to describe my life at the moment. Acting. That's another good one. Emily insisted I stay with them for the majority of this week, but she did allow me to skip school.Aurora came over the first night and questioned me like she's Judge fucking Judy, asking me multiple times about what happened with Cleo and getting frustrated with my reluctance to discuss it.She doesn't understand though, how could she? There's no doubt that her and Shane love one another completely and Shane's a great guy, he's got his shit together now. They've got plans to go off to uni together, then they'll get married, probably move back here somewhere and pop out a couple kids. Even when they fight, they know they love each other and so everything will be ok.I sound jealous and fuck it, I am. C
"Cleo honey, Aurora's here for you." My mum comes downstairs to the swimming pool with Aurora following closely behind her. "Sit down here, I'll get you some drinks and Cleo needs to get out of the pool anyway, she's done more than enough training."She directs the last comment in my direction, a lifted brow enough to let me know shes worried I'm overdoing it, but it's the only place I can seem to shut my mind off.Aurora watches me without saying a word while I climb out of the pool and wrap myself in a towel, perching on the chair opposite hers."Hi." I say, squeezing water from my hair to avoid her studious gaze."You going to explain what happened? Because we thought you were skiving and then it turns out you're just avoiding us and Luke's in an absolute state.