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Chapter 7
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2021-08-20 03:25:59He has some thoughts; this I must hear. What in the world does he think will help me get through all of this? I hope he doesn’t say therapy. I don’t want to talk about my feelings. What’s the point? I am sick of talking about my feelings. I am tired of hearing everyone telling me he is in a “better place” and it will get easier. Shit I know all of that. Doesn’t make it easy right now. There are no point in all these words when I know all of it and I also know there is nothing that can be said to make me feel better.
“What did you have in mind?”
“To be honest, I have not thought of how to present this to you. It was not a thought until you sent that picture.”
“Come on Z, it was just my legs.”
“Ashton your legs are sexy as hell and I wasn’t expecting it.”
“I am sorry, I thought it was safe. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or step over any linesRelated chapters
Love After Chapter 8
What is that noise?! I peel my eyes open and take in my surroundings. I am still on the couch. Shit that is my alarm. I scramble for my phone to shut off the annoying noise coming from it. I must find a better sound to wake up to. I have not had time to find a new sound since getting this new phone.“Zain wake up we got to get moving. We are both going to be late for work if we don’t.”Zain mumbles something and stretches his arms above his head and cranes his neck to the side. The popping sound that accompanies the movement is loud.“Shit, you okay?”“Shut it, I am getting old.” He chuckles in response.“You make coffee while I shower and then you can have your turn.”I take off to the bedroom to take a quick shower. I strip while I wait for the water to heat up.“Shit I uh..”I spin around quickly at the sound of Zains voice.“Oh! I uh….what
Last Updated : 2021-08-20Love After Chapter 9
Concentrating at work is proving difficult. My mind keeps wondering back to Z. Back to our kiss and back to my embarrassment over the photo. It’s going to be an incredibly long day. Lunch time comes and I decide to close my project for the day. There is no point to keep working on it when I’ve had to redo my work twice because I am unfocused. I save my work and close everything out. My phone dings as a message comes through. It’s Zain.“To make things fair, and for you to stop being embarrassed….”I wait, what is he…ding. Well now. A picture comes through. My checks flame and a heat ignites in my belly. His muscular chest and exquisite abs stare back at me. I can see water droplets sprinkled across his gorgeous dark skin. Making trails all the way down to that perfect V. That is where it stops. I shake my head at myself when I open the photo to full screen to see what else may be visible. I can admit to myself I am a little d
Last Updated : 2021-08-21Love After Chapter 10
Heading home for the day. I did manage to get some work done, but barely. My mind kept wondering back to Z and the turn our text had taken. I catch the longest red light ever, so I grab my phone and shoot Zain a text.“Headed home. Any plans for the night?”“Not sure yet….I’m sure we will get into something”That’s how it was for us. We spent some part of almost everyday together. He kept my mind occupied and I kept him company. We have spent countless nights drinking and talking. Connecting well beyond the surface of things. What worries me the most is what happens if we take this a step further? What happens when it inevitably ends? Zain is a perpetual bachelor. Never staying in a relationship for more than a month. Our friendship means the world to me. Can I handle letting this be just a fling? Ding. A new text from Zain. I can’t help the small smile now planted on my face.” What are you doing?&rd
Last Updated : 2021-08-25Love After Chapter 11
My heart nearly stops, and an involuntary squeak escapes my lips.“It’s me, Love.” Zains velvety voice rumbles through the room.“Sweet baby Jesus Zain, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”“I thought you heard me knock.”“Um no, and what are you doing here?”“Thought I would stop by.”“No, I mean in my bathroom?”“Well, I came in here for this.”The shower door opens and Zain’s arm snakes around my waste and pulls me to him as his lips crash down on mine. I can’t help the small gasp that escapes me, and Zain takes advantage of that moment and slips his tongue between my lips. My arms wrap around his neck as I give into the moment. The near heart failure forgotten. Zain deepens the kiss and an almost growl rumbles in his chest vibrating throughout my body. The tingles start and butterflies start fluttering in my stomach. We brea
Last Updated : 2021-08-27Love After Chapter 12
The reality of what just happened hit me like a ton of bricks. Guilt engulfs my heart and a tear slips down my cheek.“What are we doing?”Zain’s head swivels around to me and he props himself up and studies my face.“We are distracting you.” He says as he leans down and softly kisses the tear on my cheek.“Am I a terrible person?”“You have never been a terrible person. Everyone deals with grief in their own ways and in their own time.”“I know that he wouldn’t want me miserable. That he would want me to find happiness again, but I am I betraying him and the love we had?”“This doesn’t change your love for him. It doesn’t change what you had. You still carry him in your heart. Nothing and no one will ever change that. We do not have to go any further than this. This can all stop now, but you can’t live in your grief, Love. No more than you
Last Updated : 2021-08-31Love After Chapter 13
“Hey Ash, want a drink?” I look up to see Sam’s smiley face and I give her a nod. “You’re going to love the band playing tonight!” Sam said with a grin “Oh yea, where are they from?” “I found them in San Antonio and reached out. I was thrilled when they said they would make the trip to play.” Sam had worked her ass of to keep the local music scene alive. There would be two local bands playing with the out of town band. It helped get the crowds in if people they new were also playing. People were already starting to show even though it was early. “Looks like all that promoting worked. I am so proud of you Sam!” “Thanks girl. I am excited. If this is just the beginning of the night, my feet are going to be killing me by the end! Hey, so where is Zain? You to are pretty much inseparable these days.” “He will be here I am sure. You know he never misses a show. You know Sam, I don’t know how I would have made it through all of this
Last Updated : 2021-09-07Love After Chapter 14
“I don’t know why he keeps hanging around with her?” I slur to Sam. We are sitting at her table taking shots and passing a joint between the two of us. We had been back at her place for about 20 minutes. She lives a few blocks from the bar so instead of going home and thinking about what Zain and Hannah were doing, Sam invited me to her place to drink about it. Probably not the best way to handle the situation, but I didn’t care now. “You know why. We both know he doesn’t actually have any feelings for her.” “I know and I have never cared before.” “So why now Ash? What is it bothering you when it never has before?” “She isn’t good for him. All she is about it getting messed up and partying. She doesn’t even have a real personality. She dang near stalks him around the city on the weekends. It’s weird that he posts a photo or video of a band and within 30 minutes she shows up. Stalker much?” Sam raises her eyebrow at me as she takes anot
Last Updated : 2021-09-07Love After Chapter 15
“What the hell, Z. What are you doing here?” “Don’t what the hell me Ash. What the hell yourself. I was worried about you. You didn’t answer my calls.” “I didn’t get a call from you.” “Check your phone. I finally got ahold of Sam and she told me you passed out but were feeling better and heading home. Why didn’t you call me to come get you?” “You were busy, and I got myself home just fine.” I brushed past him and unlocked the door. Zan followed me in so closely I could feel the heat from his body on my back. I am going to need another drink for this. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of rum and a shot glass. “What has gotten into you tonight, Ash?” “Nothing. I am fine.” “I guess you will tell me when you are ready.” “Why are you here Zain. I thought you were parting with Hannah.” “I was worried. You sounded off.” “We were texting how did I sound off.” “You just did. You were shor
Last Updated : 2021-09-08
Latest chapter
Love After Chapter 27
"Did I tell you how great you look tonight?" Zain rumbles in my ear.My back is pressed up against him as we dance to one of the few slow songs playing."No, Sir.""What was that?""I said no Sir.""Hmm, how do you feel about that?""I like it.""Good.""How did you feel about it.""I find that I don't mind it." Zain answers and leans down and softly kisses my neck."Let's get out of here. I have a few things in mind for when we get back to your place if that is okay.""Sounds good to me." I saw with a small smile playing on my lips."You okay to drive, I have had a few more than you tonight.""I can drive, I only had the one. I don't know how we drank so much of that shit when we were younger.""Because we drank what we could get our hands on.""That is true."We head out to the parking lot and Zain unlocks the drivers door for me. I am climbing in when his hand reaches a
Love After Chapter 26
It's 9:00pm and I hear Zain pull up in the driveway. I shoot him a text."Come in, I'm almost ready. Make us a drink before we go.""Cool."I hear the front door open and close again and Z's booted steps in the kitchen.I finish flat ironing my dark hair trying to tame it best I can. I begin putting on makeup when Zain steps in with two glasses."I made you rum punch." He says as he hands me my glass."Perfect. So, where are we going?""To a bar in town."I roll my eyes and go back to my mirror.
Love After Chapter 25
"Ashton. Love we are home. "I opened my eyes to see we were parked in my driveway."I'm sorry I fell asleep on you.""It's fine. Are you still tired?""No, just car rides make me sleep. You coming in? I could make us something to eat.""That sounds good. I can help."A small smile tugs at my lips. It's sweet of him, but I know he has no idea what he is doing in the kitchen unless it involves a microwave or noodles."Okay."We climb out of his truck and head in."Hey Z, thank you for this morning. It has been a lo
Love After Chapter 24
I laid in bed wrapped in Zain’s arms trying my hardest not to think. The sun has yet to make his full appearance , My brain has other plans apparentlyand I wanted to go back to sleep. Apparently, my brain has other plans . This was okay.. I did not do anything wrong. Ryan wanted nothing but the best for me, always. I know he would want me to do more than survive. I just can’t help this guilt that lays so heavy on my heart. “Stop.” Zain’s voice rumbles. “What?”
Love After Chapter 23
I suddenly feel very nervous looking up to meet his whiskey eyes. My crystal blue ones must show everything I am feeling. I have never been very good at controlling my face.“Don’t be nervous, Love. I’ve got you. This only goes as far as you want it to. Tonight is not the night to try new things. I want you Ash. Do you want this too?”I nod my head in response unable to bring the words to my tongue.“Use your words, Ashton. I need to hear you say it.”“Yes.” I whisper to him.I duck my head trying to hide my blush and all of the emotions that must be running right across my face. Why does he have this affect on me? This is my friend. There is not much I have not shared with him. It isn’t like this simple act would mean that we were more than friends. He has not indicated in anyway that he wanted more. In fact, he was clear that this was to help me. It has been a long time since anyone other than
Love After Chapter 22
He settles his arms around my waist and wrap mine around his neck as we begin to sway to the music. We have never danced like this before. It was strange to be wrapped in someone else’s arms. Instead of overthinking it, as I tend to do, I decided to just enjoy the moment.“Can I kiss you?”My stomach did a flip at his question. It’s not like he hasn’t before, but him asking me made things different. I suddenly feel like a nervous schoolgirl.“Yes.” I whisper into his chest.His hand reaches up and he tilts my chin up with two fingers. Our eyes meet for a brief moment before he bends down and places his lips on mine. It is a gentle meeting of the lips that lasts only a few seconds.“Your lips are so soft.” He whispers with his face inches from mine.“You already said that.” Remembering those exact words the first time he kissed me.“Well, they are.”
Love After Chapter 21
We finished lunch and Zain brought me back to the office where I finished my work for the day. Things got a little hectic so there was no time to think about all the things we had talked about during lunch. Now that I was home my brain was spinning with all the information. Surprisingly, I am not closed to the idea of all of this. I used to have a very small view of the lifestyle and did not understand why someone would give control to another person. Why they would subject themselves to rules and punishments. The world is a strange place and people deal with it how they can. There is no shame in that. As long as they are not hurting anyone, it doesn’t matter what they do to cope. What happens between two consenting adults is private and no one else’s business. The question is if this is for me or not. If the answer is not an immediate no, then maybe it is something we can try. Like Zain said, I will actually be the one that holds all the power. If I try it and do not like i
Love After Chapter 20
We were seated at a table tucked off by ourselves. The lunch crowd had already thinned out, so we had a small bit of privacy. The waitress was friendly and had already brought our drinks and taken our order. “How’s work?” I asked knowing he would give a generic answer. He never talks about work and is good at separating work and life. “It’s work, not bad.” He replies. His phone buzzes on the table and he glances at it quickly types out a response and sets his phone back down. I am used to him always chatting away with someone. “Is it important? Do you need to take a call or..” “No, it’s fine, Love. I apologies you will have my full attention from here out.” “Okay Zain, what’s up? Why lunch today?” “I wanted us to talk. Have you been doing your research?” “I have.” “Have I scared you off?” “No, it is a lot to process and I have about a million questions.” “Well, I am here to answer all of your que
Love After Chapter 19
I spent the last week doing the research Zain had asked me to. There are things I can never unsee and are absolute no’s for me. I am still concerned about a few things. I don’t know how submissive I can be. If I know anything about myself it is that I am defiant as hell. In theory, giving control over to someone I trust sounds like heaven right now. Will I be able to though? I worked hard to get from under the thumb of people who claimed to have my best interest at heart. They used the word protective instead of controlling. It took a very long time to break that. To understand what was really going on and rebuild myself from their emotional abuse. I also know that Zain would never do those things to me. Yes, I would be giving him power over me, but it would be my choice. I set the boundaries and I could also walk away. This was not to feed his ego, but to help me. That would be the difference. This would be about me and not about him.“Are you free to have
