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20: Anxiety
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Lost Queen 21: Bad Dreams
ADRIANAMy heart stops, along with everything in me.Wait, one thing keeps running. My thoughts. It is all over the place. Even as my heart is still.No, it can’t be! I scream in my head.But nothing makes the voice I hear in my head go away. Nor the feel of the heat of his body. I can feel it as clearly as I am aware of the fact that I’m alive and breathing.How the hell is he here?!He has some guts to show up here and be in my room no less.Wait, he couldn’t have gotten past everyone in the border and my mother.My mother!In panic, I sprint toward the door. Attempt to.I don’t make it to two steps before an arm wraps around any waist. Next, my back hits a hard warm body.Current rolls through my entire body everywhere we touch. I close my eyes, willing my body to fight whatever it is that is making me feel that way.“You’re not getting away from me ever again.”Xander’s voice is a harsh whisper, accentuated by a possessive tug of my body to his.My hands balled into fists. Some of
Lost Queen 22: Wood Race
ADRIANAMum has been keeping a close eye on me. She tried not to make it obvious, but I still noticed. The training she had me go through made sure I was always on my guard.It has been three days since the weird dream about Xander. And I find myself reliving one part of it every time.His promise.I tried, oh, I tried so much to tell myself it was just a dream. My subconscious made it up because I was too worried about him and always thinking of him.Logic said, I should do nothing and I should stop giving it the time of day. But a more realistic part of me, the one in touch with emotions said there was more to it than that. And that the logical side of me was wrong.So, not only was I fighting all my other battles. I had to deal with a war within myself in the mix.It has been a busy week. Heck, a busy month.Just three weeks with Xander back in my life and it was already blowing up. If I didn’t know how big of a bad news he was before. I do now.Today, I decided to call Kian and go
Lost Queen 23: Magical Mirror
XANDERMy jaws clench, my hands balling into tight fists. My body shakes with the effort it was taking me to hold back and not throw my shaking fists.I didn’t realize I’d cut into my palms, causing blood to drip from the gash until Daciana spoke.“Stop hurting yourself. It isn’t going to help.”She mutters, moving so she was putting at least a few steps between us. The blood must have touched her.She had been standing close to me.“Nah, I’m actually loving this.” Donovan snorts, swirling the bourbon in his glass. “What are they doing now? Fucking in the middle of the woods?”A menacing grow ripples from my chest, causing him to raise both his hands up in surrender.“Damn. I was just kidding.”I shoot Daciana a look and she sighs before moving to where Donovan is reclined on a chair. His feet propped on the table in front of him.“If you’re not going to help, then shut the fuck up.” She growls, slapping the side of his leg.Donovan grumbles and puts his feet down. He sits up, keeping
Lost Queen 24: Let's Skinny Dip
ADRIANAWe stayed outside for a long time.I’d beaten Kian to the lake as expected. And he sulked for a while because of that. I celebrated my victory on the other hand, telling him I’ll collect my debt when I felt the time was right.I got a groan as a response.He suggested we swim. And while I normally would say no, I was running from the high of shifting after so long. My wolf was on board.‘Wait, we left all our clothes back there.’I mind linked him, just when he turned to walk behind a tree and shift.‘Shit. I totally forgot about that.’I groaned. A grunt-like sound leaving my wolf’s mouth.I’d actually wanted to go swimming. I was against it at first but after exerting my body the way I did. It would be nice to get into the cold water.‘It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?’I turned to Kian’s large brown wolf. Picturing the way I would be watching him with wide eyes if I were in human form.I could have sworn he rolled his eyes at me when he saw that.‘What? Nothing wrong with a
Lost Queen 25: A Lycan's Promise
XANDERI knew what I was doing was dangerous, but did it make me stop? No.I kept going because I have lost my fucking mind.I silenced Daciana who was standing beside me. She is trying her best to urge me to snap out of whatever haze I’m in and release Adriana’s wolf.What she doesn’t know is, I’m in my right senses.Maybe not quite in my right senes but I know what the fuck I’m doing.I’m not about to let her go into that lake naked with some boy. The result of that will be very bloody. I have a feeling my little wolf wouldn’t appreciate me tearing her little boyfriend apart, limb from limb.“Stop that, Xander. This is so fucking stupid.” Daciana growls, the frustration evident in her tone.I silence her mentally, cutting her voice off from my mind.I used the magic her friend explained. Power of will. You would never guess how strong and innovative an angry mind is.I could feel Adriana’s thoughts. Every one of them. It was harder to understand but I could hear them. That in itself
Lost Queen 26: Great Friends
ADRIANAHappy chatter and laughter fills the place. There were smiling faces wherever I turned, which left me feeling like the odd one out.The week of the full moon is usually a happy one for everybody. They got to sit back and relax, letting the moon run its course. They let their wolves run wild and free. Then comes the full moon run.I was dreading it for some reason.I couldn’t bring myself to laugh or smile or enjoy the festivities like everyone else was. If you asked, I couldn’t tell you the reason for my bad mood. I just wasn’t feeling particularly happy or even eager to be alive.I have been feeling like this for a few days. Mum has done everything she could to help. But nothing she did felt right.So had Kian. The last time he came to me with books, I told him I needed a few days to be alone.This might be because of the incident near the lake. Even though I told myself it was not that. So many times. I almost started to believe the lie myself.I asked myself if telling mum
Lost Queen 27: Morning Fire
ADRIANASounds of screaming and shouting woke me up the next morning.I sit up from my bed groggily, rubbing my tired eyes.A loud crashing sound makes me wince and I curse, trying to force the thud in my head away.What the hell is going on?I ask no one in particular. There isn’t anyone to reply to me, seeing as I’m alone in my room. I pushed off the bed and ran out of the room when the smell of smoke tickled my nostrils.What the hell?!Now that I’m more aware and on my feet, I hear some of what was being said.Fire. There is a fire.I pull the sweatpants lying on the floor in my room, almost tripping as I start running down the stairs. The smell of smoke was pungent as I got to the living room.There isn’t anyone there but the door is wide open and I’m able to see people rushing outside.“What’s going on?”I drag the hand of one of the kids. A girl who couldn’t be older than five years old. She has black streaked on her cheek and tears streaming down her face. The sight breaks my
Lost Queen 28: Culprit
ADRIANAThank God no one died from the fire. but a lot were injured and property was lost.I was livid. I’m STILL livid.God, I want to get my hands and Xander. Preferably around his neck, then I’ll hold on until I’m sure he can never hurt anyone again.We spent the rest of yesterday trying to save the properties of the affected people.Just to show how heartless he was, the fire was started very close to residential homes. If they hadn’t noticed it early, the damage it would have done would be very ugly.We didn’t sleep last night either. We couldn’t, even if we tried.Kids were crying, those who were injured had it worse. Even with their healing abilities, it was a chore.We got a break from the chaos much later in the afternoon.Ursula apparently works with the pack doctor. Not really a nurse yet, but she came from a pack of healers and had an idea on how to mix medicines so she was needed on stand by.I would have loved to take the break with her. She wasn’t free though.I was abo
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Lost Queen 159:
XANDERI couldn’t mistake the pleased look I was seeing on Adriana’s face. Something about her possessive turns me on beyond inhibition. Without thinking to stop myself, I thrusted upwards, entering her and buying myself to the hilt. Her warmth clamps around me in a vice. It is the best thing I have ever felt. I gripped both sides of her waist and led her movements as she slowly adjusts to me. Since she was very wet. But after a few thrusts, I could easily slip in and out of her. She held her hands on my shoulders for balance and rode me like she was born for this. Made for me.We were perfect for each other. Perfect like this. Our bodies tailor made and fit like a glove. No one could ever compare. When she came, she cried out my name. Her voice hauntingly sweet. I know I’ll need forget it. It influenced my own orgasm. I started moving roughly . Ravaging her like she was my last meal and I was a man starved. I moaned her name and bit down on her neck without thinking. My fangs sunk
Lost Queen 158:
ADRIANAI didn’t know what came over me. I was just feeling a raw hunger for Xander and no matter how much I tried to remind my brain that he is the enemy. It didn’t work. If anthijg, the craving only got worse. In the end, it won. And I found myself doing things I didn’t even know I was capable of. The scene seemed like something out of a porn movie. Not once did it feel like i was actually the one doing that.Even though the emotions racking through my body was more than enough proof I’m not watching it from a third pov and in the one actually starting in it. I didn’t believe it. I felt Xander’s trailing up my inner thighs. It pulls me from my thoughts. “What are you thinking so deeply about?” He murmurs, placing small kisses on the exposed skin of my shoulders. We’re lying in bed. Well, I was sitting and he is doing the same now.We had sex again. Neither of us could stop it from happening. It is like our bodies were tired of the fights and constant back and forth. So they to
Lost Queen 157:
XANDERI half expected to wake up next to dead flower or something. But it was Adriana on the bed. I couldn’t explain accurately what I felt at that moment. I stared at her. Something warm and sickeningly sweet overtaking every part of my body. Her wake naked body pressed against mine has my morning wood straining under the covers. It doesn’t help when she lets out a soft moan as she turned and threw her leg over mine. I held back a grunt of my one when her knee teases the tip of my back. She was still fast asleep from the looks of it. So she wasn’t doing this on purpose. A devilish voice in my head suggested I reach under the covers and sink into he warm heat. It sounded like a good plan. The idea turned me on even more.But I held myself back. Last night hadn’t been in the cards. It happened and I’m definitely not complain . I just won’t take advantage of the fact that she is sleeping to get myself off. If we’re going to have sex again, it’ll be becaus she’s exclusively makes i
Lost Queen 156:
ADRIANAI almost smiled at how cute Xander seemed, trying to progenr me from seeing the body of the dead woman. Cute had been the word that came to my head. And it’s funny how I was relating that to, debated, the scariest man on earth. I met him carry me to his room. It felt extra nice for some reason. Maybe it was his attention on me. Or the way he was extra careful. You would think he was carrying some kind of prized possession. Knowing I was being respected like that made butterflies swim in my stomach. He deposited me on the bed. Gently. Then he walked to the bathroom. I was about to call him back, thinking he was trying to get away from telling me what he mentioned. But he stopped and turned by the door. “Give me a moment to freshen up then we can get this over with.”I nodded. Not really knowing what to say. Should I say I was feeling nervous? I didn’t know what exactly he was going to say. But it definitely involved my mither. I haven’t fully recovered from the dream I ha
Lost Queen 155:
XANDERAdriana and I stay in the quiet office for what felt like forever. The dead body growing cold by the minute. I had spared her a glance fo make sure she was fine. Seeing someone be killed right in front of you is horrendous. I was forced to witness this when I was five years old.I know how damaging it is. And she has probably never seen anything like it. She looked fine surprisingly. Save for the shock you could see. Nothing was amiss. I made a mental note to call someone for cleanup. But to actually mindlink them to get it done seemed like hardwork. The weight of what just happened settled in much later. Getting on my nerves more. What the fuck was Donovan thinking? This was the only hope we had. Now what does he expect us to do? And better yet, what the hell did she find out what she was about to say? Why did he stop her?I’ve known him for all my life. So I definitely know he has a reason for doing that. Donovan never does anything without thinking it through. Among the
Lost Queen 154:
ADRIANAAll three of us pause in shock after the loud thud of a body meeting the ground.Not that I recovered from the earlier one since Donovan walked in. It didn’t even have much to do with his foreboding presence but rather the unexpectedness of his presence. And for him to see us in such an…intimate position. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to face him again.I had found solace in Xander’s body. At first it was because I didnt know where else to go and it seemed like the safest option. I didn’t have a shirt on for God’s sake. And I wasn’t about to let him see me like that. He isn’t even someone I like particularly. If anything, his presence scares me. And I’m not about to add more reasons why I shouldn’t be anywhere close to hi. This time it would be because I’m traumatized he saw me naked and very close to sleeping with his brother. Damn Adriana, you are really gone. The thought of what mum would think crosses my mind. But for the first time in a long while, I didn’t really
Lost Queen 153:
XANDER“Holy shit.”The unexpected voice makes both Adriana and I turn towards the door where Donovan was standing. His mouth would be on the floor if it was physically possible for that happen.I almost bark out a laugh when Adriana ducks, after making a be dry funny sound. She ended up falling into me, since I was kttong directly in front of her. It must be because of the shock because she throws her arms around my neck and buries her head in the crook of ny neck. I have to force the effect her body has on mine to the back of my head. Because one, Donovan is still standing there and his eyes were on her. A loud growl rips from my chest. “Stop fucking looking at her!”If she wasn’t in my arms, I would have punched his eyes out of their sockets.The only thing saving him from me right now is her. And these damn binds that has my movements limited. How fucking well did she tie the tie? You would think she’d cemented my hands together or something. “What do you want?” I snapped wh
Lost Queen 152:
XANDERTeasing Adrian came at the cost of just sanity. But she owned every part of me so it was a small price to pay.As long as I’ll have her squirming in my thighs. The scent of her arousal the onky scent in the room. It fills my nostrils. And even at that, I inhale again deeply because I’m just greedy like that. “What kind of game is this?” She says, her voice slightly breathless. She tried to sound normal though she wasn’t successful. Her hands tightened on the edge of the desk. If she removed it and is as indents from her fingers. I wouldn’t be surprised. “A game I guarantee we’ll both like very much.” I replied in a raspy voice. Her breath hitches when I place a kiss where her neck and shoulder meets. It is one of her sensitive spots. She reacts perfectly by jumping a bit, offering the perfect friction to get my dick moving. He’s liking her very much now. I haven’t felt this calm in days. Weeks. Heck, even months. There was no war in my head. No voice arguing or fighti
Lost Queen 151:
ADRIANAI didn’t know what to say to Xander after his… confession?It didn’t help that he looked so sure when he spoke. There was no ounce of doubt in his voice. He knew what he was saying. And he was sincere. I didn’t need to Alaina to tell me that much. And it seems, she knew that part too. Everything was confusing. And how he acts makes it all the more crazy for me. The version of him in my head and the version of him I’ve been with for the past few months are entirely different people. He has also made it clear that he just changed. This isn’t how he was before. He changed for me. Anyone would be happy to hear they have such a powerful man wrapped around their fingers. On the other hand, it just made my life more complicated. I knew he was bad. If he had shown me that side. I wouldn’t be in this situation now. But he was different. He caused differently with me especially. And, he was painfully honest. I never knew I would be so annoyed at the thought of so some being uprig
