Uncertain what to do with Jayden missing, it's like a piece of me went with him. I have been searching for him, but I haven't found any trace of him. I haven't fault anything either which I'm glad that he at least he isn't being tortured. I don't know what else to do but search for him. I don't want to give up but everywhere I go it just leads to a dead end.
With the disappearance of Jayden the memorial never happened and no one was named Alpha. They want to do the memorial along with naming the Alpha. I don't want to go but now that I'm a part of this pack it's my duty. I just don't know if I'm going to really be any kind of good company. I can't stand even being around people right now.
I know that Jayden's disappearance isn't my fault, but I just feel that if I just showed him more attention and been there for him that this wouldn
I am shocked, I don't even know what to do. I stand as I'm watching everyone clapping. They named me their alpha. As the crowd grips hold of me and pushes me forward, my feet are moving, but it feels like I'm floating. I am trying to register what is happening, But I don't know how.I have never seen myself much as a leader. I have always just followed those who are in charge. Not knowing what to say or do at the most important times. I become nervous, what if I'm not cut out for this. They chose me to lead them, but what if I lead them to their death.As I make it up the steps to the stage. I look over at the crowd of people and I become terrified. Wondering why the elders of the pack feel that I am capable of being their leader. As I raise my hand for those to be silent. I begin to feel different. My doubt is leaving and confidence is taking over. Shocked as It becomes quite so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Just for a moment, I take in the silence and just en
My wolf is pulling to her mate, she wants to see him. I am nervous I didn't let him to die afraid of what he may think. I hide him, so he wouldn't be found but was it enough. Damn it, it's not like I left him out in the open and put a sign on him to come get me. I feel so bad for what I did, but I had no other choice at the time.Star is yelling inside my head, "please take me to my mate, he's alive, I want to be with him."I don't know what to do, I also felt the connection with Ivan but all the things that he has done to me. I don't know what I feel when I look at him, I know I felt fear before, but its seems different now. I don't feel any kind of genuine love for him but could I. Star is attempting to take over my body, but I am stronger, I don't allow her to.Ivan is becoming closer, his scent is sending arousal through my body, I purr to the delight. Unsure what to make it out as. This is the man who has terrified me And put me through so much misery, but
Life is starting to feel like a blur. I accepted to give Ivan a chance, But I feel lost. I had reasoning behind my existence. But now I don't know my reasoning. I am an alpha I should be strong um, but I feel weak. I thought that I could forget about Landon and Jayden and just move on. The harder I try, the worse I feel. I know what needs to be done, but it will put everybody and danger.I wanted to escape to a place that we would all be able to be safe and live a life that is without fear. I'm not sure if that is possible for me, I would be running from those that I love. The whole point of everything was always to keep Jayden safe, without him there is no point into anything I need to find him even if it kills me, I have to bring him back to where he belongs.I'm not sure of what the pack is going to see of me as. I don't really care, though I can't be the alpha I need to be. Not caring what anybody thinks. This is what has to be done for me to be able to
It can't be true. She couldn't have done all this. She is the only person who Landon has that he loves. I become confused on how the world has become. I know families have their issues, but my family, we would have never betrayed each other. No matter what the cost would have been.Ivan has no reason to lie. What I am curious about is why she would give it to him. She would have known that I would figure it out, eventually. Is she trying to blow her cover? Or is something worst coming? I hate all the deceit that is happening. I will not stand for it. If she wants to play this game, then fine. I will play until I find Jayden and he's with me.I look at Ivan with a Stern face, “do not speak of me being here tonight and what we talked about.”He looks at me. I can see that he's worried, but he does not admit it he shakes his head and, says, “yes alpha”!I don't know what's going to happen, but what I do know is I will find Jayden. She
I am waking up by the sun shining through the window into my eyes. I can feel anger consume me. But I do not react. I hold it and bury it. I need to act like nothing is wrong. I hear a knock on my bedroom door. It surprises, me not sure who it may be.“Who is it” In gently tone“It's Mary, sweetheart. With your breakfast, I offered to bring it to you today. I figured that we could talk about what will be our next step.”As she is walking over and placing the tray on my bedside. I say to her,” We will just have to wait and see what the next steps are."“Well, alpha, I think it's time that you establish what our next steps are. The pack is waiting for you to lead them you need to lead them.”I make myself seem weak as I respond, “I don't want to lead them into destruction. I don't want anybody to get hurt, Mary. What am I to do?”“You are the Alpha. You must determine what is right fo
My senses have improved dramatically, but something else that I have noticed is my anger. I feel my blood boiling inside me. Trying so hard to control it, I don't want to blow my cover. I don't want Mary to know what I know. If she gets any idea that I am up to something, my plan could go very wrong. So wrong that I actually might kill her.She thinks the first move should be me naming my mate as my 2nd in command. Usually, packs have male alpha's and the females are their Luna. In this case, it's very much different, since the female is the alpha. I want to avoid making it official with Ivan. I don't love him. I'm aware that I should since he is my mate, and I'm met to be with him, but I feel nothing.I was always told once you find your mate that the bond is unbreakable. But the bond that I have is nothing. When I look at him, all
He pushes me inside his grip, making me feel uneasy. Everyone's staring, wondering what my move will be, but I do nothing. I let him push me to the bedroom, not knowing what he's about to say. I'm nervous. It has been almost a month since I have seen him last. I watch, I'm waiting to see his lips move, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Lilly, I have looked everywhere for him. I can't find him. He is gone.” I watch as he falls to his knees crying in despair, my heartbreaking for him. And my body builds up with anger, knowing that his mother is making him feel this way. I ran over to him and let him sob in my arms. Not knowing what to say, I know that I can't tell him what I know. If he found out that his mother had been behind all this, I'm not sure what he would do. “Landon, I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you. I wish I could take away all your pain.” I feel bad for Landon, but I will not jeopardize saving Jayden just to make him fe
It has been almost a week since Landon has been home. He has been sleeping most of the time. His body is attempting to catch up on everything that it has lost. I've been working with Mary and I don't want to do what she wants me to do. She wants me to confirm Ivan as my mate and make him my second in command.I've been trying to put it off, but I'm not sure if I can any longer. I haven't even spoken to Ivan since that night. With Landon coming home, I've only been focusing on him. I haven't gotten very far figuring out about Jayden. I want to follow Mary. But every time she leaves, I can not pick up her scent to follow her. It frustrates me so much, but I try to hide it as best as I can.As I am getting ready for the day I am nervous that today is going to be the day when Mary makes me make everything official with Ivan. I've been putting it off, and I know that she is not going to let me put it off for very much longer. Not sure what my excuse is going to be this time
Six months have passed since we escaped hell. Life is finally beginning to feel normal. Which makes me feel terrified. I never wanted to leave Alaska where my family was from, where I was raised. But I knew I had no other choice. We had to escape to a place where wolves were almost seemed non-existing.I wanted to go back for Landon. I wanted to save him no matter the cost, if it was just me. I would have died for him, but knowing that it would have risked Jayden's life, I wasn't willing to do so. I hate that he's not here. I wanted to drop hints for him, so he would know where to go. But I knew that I couldn't risk anyone else figuring the clues out. I know that Jayden misses him. I miss him too.We figured out that other wolves didn't sense us. Usually, a wolf can tell when another person is a wolf, but because of Jayden and I having healing powers. We go unnoticeable. It makes it easy for us to live in a human world. We know that our old life will catch up with us eventually, but f
As we make our way to the door to the podium, Mary stops us. I look at her with so much anger and disappointment, I tell her, “please let us go. I want to avoid hurting you, but I will do whatever is necessary to protect us.”“They threatened to kill all of us. I thought one life for hundreds would be acceptable. I'm so sorry.”“You tied him up to a bed.”“He wouldn't stop trying to escape. I had no other choice.”“That's the thing, Mary, you had a choice, but you made the wrong one.”I want to rip her head off, but before I have time to, I feel a little hand tugging on my side. “Lilly, I know grandma made a mistake, but she's not bad, she just made a bad choice.”He's so innocent. I feel so bad knowing what is going to have to be done, and he's so little. Can he bear it? Will he forgive me for what I'm going to have to do? I don't want to take the chance of us being captured. It's time to kill them all.“Jayden, some things are unforgiven when you do something so terrible.”“Lilly, j
I refuse to lose any more people that I care about. If I can get Jayden and Landon out of here, then I won't have to worry about them. I will know that they are free. I may never see them again, but at least they will be able to live. They cannot stay here. I cannot have a distraction. I need my head clear. If I'm worried about them, that I won’t be capable of doing whatever is necessary.I didn't want to resort to violence. I didn't want to kill people, especially people of my own kind. I just don't know what other choice there is anymore. I just want all of this to end. I don't want to live a life running. I want to enjoy life and everything it has to offer. I know what I have to do, and it makes me sick, but I don't think there are any other options. I quickly snap out of my thoughts as I hear Sam's voice, “Lilly, I will not follow any of your demands. You will do what you're told, or I will kill Jayden.A fire lights up inside me as those words leave his mouth. Something happens
I stand there in disbelief. No, this can't be right, he looks nothing like. Sam, how can it be him? Star said it was our mate. I thought me not feeling for him was because of the hate that is deep inside me for him. I thought it overpowered the bond and turned it into nothing. But I was wrong, I felt nothing because this is not my mate. How could I be so stupid?“Sam, what is going on? Why do you look like Ivan?”“Oh Lilly, how easy you are to fool. You're just like your mate.”I watch as he peels his face. It is so disgusting as He removes the skin piece by piece, I then begin to recognize that this is really Sam. Another person who has betrayed me, I know that I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. There's not a person who has not lied to me. It makes me angry and sad all at the same time.“Why would you do this, Sam? I thought you cared about me. I thought we were friends."?“Lilly, it's nothing personal, it's for power. They promised me to be the alpha of the wicked falls pack I've
I get out of their grip and stumble to my feet. I grab a hold of them and throw them to the ground like they weigh nothing. As my hand gets tighter around their throat, I can hear them gasp. Questioning if I should even give them a breath to speak.I then ask, “who are you and what do you want?” As I slowly release their throat enough for them to speak.“Please don't hurt me. I'm only doing my job. I didn't realize who you were until I already grabbed you.”“Who are you?”“I'm one of the watch Warriors of the pack, my name is Tye.”“There has been so much activity in the past couple of days that I didn't think I'm sorry. I didn't want to take a chance to endanger the pack.”“What do you mean increased activity, why wasn't I informed?”“There have been wolves trying to come into the pack. We are not sure why some seem harmless, but others seem dangerous. With all that has happened, we have not been allowing newcomers to join.”As I listen to him, I become irritated. I am the alpha. I s
I've been watching Mary, but she doesn't seem to mind she goes on about her business like nothing is happening I know her secret I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to strike Landon is getting well, and he will soon be back on his feet and he will want to leave to continue the search for Jayden. I wanted to take this chance to find Jayden, but I haven't gotten any farther than what I was. I want to tell Landon because maybe he will know of some hiding spots that Mary might have used. If anyone knows her, it would be Landon that knows her best. I think my biggest issue is I don't know how to tell Landon. I don't want to be the person who breaks his world. I don't want him to have to lose someone else he cares about. But I'm at the point now where I'm not sure if I have another option. I try so hard to stop thinking about everything, but I can't. All I really want to do is sleep, but I can't. My head is spinning. With all that has been happening, figuri
It has been almost a week since Landon has been home. He has been sleeping most of the time. His body is attempting to catch up on everything that it has lost. I've been working with Mary and I don't want to do what she wants me to do. She wants me to confirm Ivan as my mate and make him my second in command.I've been trying to put it off, but I'm not sure if I can any longer. I haven't even spoken to Ivan since that night. With Landon coming home, I've only been focusing on him. I haven't gotten very far figuring out about Jayden. I want to follow Mary. But every time she leaves, I can not pick up her scent to follow her. It frustrates me so much, but I try to hide it as best as I can.As I am getting ready for the day I am nervous that today is going to be the day when Mary makes me make everything official with Ivan. I've been putting it off, and I know that she is not going to let me put it off for very much longer. Not sure what my excuse is going to be this time
He pushes me inside his grip, making me feel uneasy. Everyone's staring, wondering what my move will be, but I do nothing. I let him push me to the bedroom, not knowing what he's about to say. I'm nervous. It has been almost a month since I have seen him last. I watch, I'm waiting to see his lips move, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Lilly, I have looked everywhere for him. I can't find him. He is gone.” I watch as he falls to his knees crying in despair, my heartbreaking for him. And my body builds up with anger, knowing that his mother is making him feel this way. I ran over to him and let him sob in my arms. Not knowing what to say, I know that I can't tell him what I know. If he found out that his mother had been behind all this, I'm not sure what he would do. “Landon, I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you. I wish I could take away all your pain.” I feel bad for Landon, but I will not jeopardize saving Jayden just to make him fe
My senses have improved dramatically, but something else that I have noticed is my anger. I feel my blood boiling inside me. Trying so hard to control it, I don't want to blow my cover. I don't want Mary to know what I know. If she gets any idea that I am up to something, my plan could go very wrong. So wrong that I actually might kill her.She thinks the first move should be me naming my mate as my 2nd in command. Usually, packs have male alpha's and the females are their Luna. In this case, it's very much different, since the female is the alpha. I want to avoid making it official with Ivan. I don't love him. I'm aware that I should since he is my mate, and I'm met to be with him, but I feel nothing.I was always told once you find your mate that the bond is unbreakable. But the bond that I have is nothing. When I look at him, all