Christian It's worse than what I thought? How the fuck could it get any worse than Archie cheating on Molly and having a baby with someone else? A thousand different thoughts and scenarios swarm through my head but still, I don't understand what's going on. I tried everything to get Tom to tell me but he told me that it wasn't his place to tell me and while I respect him for looking out for his best friend a part of me is still pissed at him for not telling me. It took all the strength I had not to go after Molly but Tom insisted that she needed to be left alone and I have to respect that even if it's the last thing that I want to do. I keep checking my watch watching as time goes by painfully slow. She's only been gone forty-five minutes but Jesus it feels like it's been hours. My mind keeps taking me back to when I came out of the barn and saw how upset she was. Her eyes full of tears, her body shaking with sadness and that rawness in her sobs that almost broke me. "She's ok." My
MollyInstead of heading to Penny's house, I end up at some dog walking park not far from town. The drive was long and painful but I stayed steady and focused. If there's one thing that I'm good at in life it's my perfect driving no matter what the situation may be. Archie and Tom's old sergeant spend years trying to get me to join the army as a tank driver and said I would be perfect at it but it never appealed to me.However, the moment I took a step out of the truck my entire body felt numb yet shaky and my mind went completely blank. They say to live life to the fullest because you never know what's around the corner and boy have I learned how true that saying is. How can life turn upside down and inside out so fast? I feel like everything has been turned on its head and I don't know how to stop it.Three days ago I was laughing and joking with Tom with my only concern being how to get Christian to stop being an ass and now look at me. I'm sitting on my own on a bench in a dog par
ChristianThat crispy piece of paper turned out to be a letter and I can't get it out of my head. The moment I realized what it was I knew I should have ignored it but I just couldn't. I must have read it a dozen times and I swear I now know every word off the top of my head.How could he ask something like that of her? How could he ask her to keep a secret like that all her life? How could he ask her to do that knowing what he had already done to her? He was one sick and twisted fucker and I wish that he was here right now so I could kill him. After reading the letter and hearing about the DNA tests being positive I can't even begin to imagine what else has happened."Daddy wanta play dollys?" Sophie's angel voice brings my mind back to the present as she sits on the floor playing with her new toys while Brody does the same next to her only he's holding a new dinosaur while crashing it into a tall building made of blocks that he has just spend twenty minutes making. After their trip
MollyThe moment Christian mentions the letter he found I know it's the one. Archies suicide note. I know because he mentioned how crispy it was, it's crispy from getting wet so many times. Wet from my tears. Wet from my heart breaking every goddam time I read it. Thousands of tears have landed on that letter. I've spent thousands of hours re-reading that letter. Have travelled the world and back and still, that letter has stayed with me. Always on me, always reminding me of my loss, of how much my life has changed and lately... lately it has just been taunting me. The thing has been through a bloody Tornado and yet it survives, how is that even possible? Homes have tumbled to the ground, vehicles torn to pieces, and people have died because of the storm and yet that letter survives it all. It's unbelievable.As Christian's words register with me my heart begins to pound while my mind starts thinking through a thousand different thoughts. He knows... he knows the truth about Archie's
ChristianA few minutes of silence have passed since Molly's words and I'm somewhat grateful for it as it's giving me some time to try and work through what she said. If what's in that envelope is enough to turn her love for him to hate this fast then it's got to something awful, something unforgivable.Sitting here and listening to her and Tom as they talk about Archie's death has been hard but what's been even harder is seeing the look of hurt on Molly's face. How could he do it to her?When I read the letter, Archie's suicide note I instantly felt sick, sick and angry. The more I read it the angrier I became and all I've done since the first time I read it is pray that I was wrong. I've prayed that the words didn't mean what I thought, that they were some kind of code words because why would he do that to her?I've run through so many emotions since reading it including hatred towards him but then I took a moment to try and see it from his point. I've never suffered from depression
ChristianI watch as Molly struggles to control her breathing and I'm worried that she's about to give herself a panic attack. "Molls, it's ok. You dont have to do this." We're both sitting on the swing on the back porch but there's a huge gap between us so I move closer to her and gently rub her back. She looks up at me and slowly shakes her head. "No. I need to do this. It's time." She takes a couple of slow deep breaths and thankfully she seems to somewhat calm down.As she goes to open her mouth Tom appears out of the back door, he doesn't say anything just takes a moment to look at Molly before coming to stand in front of us and handing her a large envelope. It's the envelope from earlier, the one holding the secret. "I thought you may want this darlin' may make things a bit easier to explain. She gives him a small smile as she takes it from him but doesn't say a word as he gives us both a nod and disappears back inside the house.Molly spends a few seconds playing with the envel
Molly I feel completely drained, just talking about everything that Archie has done is hard work, it feels like it's taking every ounce of my strength and I've had enough. Had enough of feeling betrayed and hurt. Had enough of feeling sad and lost and every other emotion that has come to me and believe me there have been more than a few. I've also had enough of the anger and hatred that I've been feeling toward him. I don't like feeling that way, never have and he always knew that which makes it just feel like another betrayal from him. "You ok baby girl?" Tom's gentle words have my eyes filling with unwanted tears once more but no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to control them. "Yes... no... I don't know." I shrug my shoulders as a shudder runs through my whole body. I'm startled when I feel a hand gently run up and down my back but it soon disappears when I remember that it's Christian and that I'm sitting on his lap. When he pulled me onto his lap earlier and told me I w
ChristianI swear this has been the longest night of my life. After Molly fell asleep on me out on the swing I kept her with me for a little while then carried her in and put her to bed. The poor girl was so worn out that she didn't even stir the whole time that I carried her. Tom and Callum had the kids in with them so I put Molly in my bed and I took the couch. I knew that I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight so it really didn't make any difference to me and I was right, it's almost 4 am and I'm still laying here wide awake.I've tried everything I can to get some rest even the old classic counting sheep but nothing will work, my brain just won't shut off. Katie is at the very front of it and I can't get my mind off of her. I just keep praying that she's ok that Amy has got her somewhere safe. I reckon she has as all she cares about is getting her hands on the money and if keeping Katie safe and looked after is the way to do it then she will, that I believe more than anything.T