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Chapter 64
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Letting go Chapter 65
ChristianThat crispy piece of paper turned out to be a letter and I can't get it out of my head. The moment I realized what it was I knew I should have ignored it but I just couldn't. I must have read it a dozen times and I swear I now know every word off the top of my head.How could he ask something like that of her? How could he ask her to keep a secret like that all her life? How could he ask her to do that knowing what he had already done to her? He was one sick and twisted fucker and I wish that he was here right now so I could kill him. After reading the letter and hearing about the DNA tests being positive I can't even begin to imagine what else has happened."Daddy wanta play dollys?" Sophie's angel voice brings my mind back to the present as she sits on the floor playing with her new toys while Brody does the same next to her only he's holding a new dinosaur while crashing it into a tall building made of blocks that he has just spend twenty minutes making. After their trip
Letting go Chapter 66
MollyThe moment Christian mentions the letter he found I know it's the one. Archies suicide note. I know because he mentioned how crispy it was, it's crispy from getting wet so many times. Wet from my tears. Wet from my heart breaking every goddam time I read it. Thousands of tears have landed on that letter. I've spent thousands of hours re-reading that letter. Have travelled the world and back and still, that letter has stayed with me. Always on me, always reminding me of my loss, of how much my life has changed and lately... lately it has just been taunting me. The thing has been through a bloody Tornado and yet it survives, how is that even possible? Homes have tumbled to the ground, vehicles torn to pieces, and people have died because of the storm and yet that letter survives it all. It's unbelievable.As Christian's words register with me my heart begins to pound while my mind starts thinking through a thousand different thoughts. He knows... he knows the truth about Archie's
Letting go Chapter 67
ChristianA few minutes of silence have passed since Molly's words and I'm somewhat grateful for it as it's giving me some time to try and work through what she said. If what's in that envelope is enough to turn her love for him to hate this fast then it's got to something awful, something unforgivable.Sitting here and listening to her and Tom as they talk about Archie's death has been hard but what's been even harder is seeing the look of hurt on Molly's face. How could he do it to her?When I read the letter, Archie's suicide note I instantly felt sick, sick and angry. The more I read it the angrier I became and all I've done since the first time I read it is pray that I was wrong. I've prayed that the words didn't mean what I thought, that they were some kind of code words because why would he do that to her?I've run through so many emotions since reading it including hatred towards him but then I took a moment to try and see it from his point. I've never suffered from depression
Letting go Chapter 68
ChristianI watch as Molly struggles to control her breathing and I'm worried that she's about to give herself a panic attack. "Molls, it's ok. You dont have to do this." We're both sitting on the swing on the back porch but there's a huge gap between us so I move closer to her and gently rub her back. She looks up at me and slowly shakes her head. "No. I need to do this. It's time." She takes a couple of slow deep breaths and thankfully she seems to somewhat calm down.As she goes to open her mouth Tom appears out of the back door, he doesn't say anything just takes a moment to look at Molly before coming to stand in front of us and handing her a large envelope. It's the envelope from earlier, the one holding the secret. "I thought you may want this darlin' may make things a bit easier to explain. She gives him a small smile as she takes it from him but doesn't say a word as he gives us both a nod and disappears back inside the house.Molly spends a few seconds playing with the envel
Letting go Chapter 69
Molly I feel completely drained, just talking about everything that Archie has done is hard work, it feels like it's taking every ounce of my strength and I've had enough. Had enough of feeling betrayed and hurt. Had enough of feeling sad and lost and every other emotion that has come to me and believe me there have been more than a few. I've also had enough of the anger and hatred that I've been feeling toward him. I don't like feeling that way, never have and he always knew that which makes it just feel like another betrayal from him. "You ok baby girl?" Tom's gentle words have my eyes filling with unwanted tears once more but no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to control them. "Yes... no... I don't know." I shrug my shoulders as a shudder runs through my whole body. I'm startled when I feel a hand gently run up and down my back but it soon disappears when I remember that it's Christian and that I'm sitting on his lap. When he pulled me onto his lap earlier and told me I w
Letting go Chapter 70
ChristianI swear this has been the longest night of my life. After Molly fell asleep on me out on the swing I kept her with me for a little while then carried her in and put her to bed. The poor girl was so worn out that she didn't even stir the whole time that I carried her. Tom and Callum had the kids in with them so I put Molly in my bed and I took the couch. I knew that I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight so it really didn't make any difference to me and I was right, it's almost 4 am and I'm still laying here wide awake.I've tried everything I can to get some rest even the old classic counting sheep but nothing will work, my brain just won't shut off. Katie is at the very front of it and I can't get my mind off of her. I just keep praying that she's ok that Amy has got her somewhere safe. I reckon she has as all she cares about is getting her hands on the money and if keeping Katie safe and looked after is the way to do it then she will, that I believe more than anything.T
Letting go Chapter 71
ChrisitanTom and Molly left for the bank almost an hour ago which means they should be here any minute, not a minute too soon if you ask me. I pace along the long driveway as I anxiously wait for them to get here with the money for Amy. "Chris, your going to wear a hole in the ground if you don't stop soon." Jack grabs hold of my shoulders bringing me to a sharp stop. "It's going to be ok, Chris we're almost there."I give him a nod as I will my body to stay still but it's a struggle, I feel like I have way too much energy and need to burn some of it off which is hilarious considering I didn't even get a wink of sleep last night and I haven't sat down since the kids got up at 5,30 am. Thinking of Sophie and Brody brings a smile to my face. My Mom asked them if they wanted to go to the movies today to see some new Disney film that's out and between that and the promise of popcorn and candy, I'm pretty sure that they were close to exploding with excitement and it was the cutest thing t
Letting go Chapter 72
Christian"You have got to be kidding me, Amy!" Whenever I think that she can't shock me anymore she goes ahead and does just that. I've had a niggling in my brain all night telling me that she wasn't done yet and I think that's one of the reasons that I couldn't sleep and now here she is proving me right once more."Why the fuck do you need more money, Amy? Surely one million is more than enough for your drugs an-""Tom, wait!" He looks at me shocked and confused at why I'm stopping his rant. "Not in front of her." I nod at Katie who is cuddled up in my arms and I know he now gets it by the look of understanding that he gives me. "Sugar, I'm sorry baby girl!" He walks over to me and kisses her on her head. I know she's only a baby and doesn't actually understand what's being said or what's going on but still, I don't want her witnessing any of this."I'll take her." Callum comes to a stop at the side of me, they must be able to hear us inside the barn. "Hey bubble bum, wanna come cud
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Letting go Epilogue part Two
Christian Just a few minutes later we arrived at the house and my brothers helped bring in the babies and the bags then put both of my boys in their bassinet that's been set up in the living room while I got Molly comfy on the sofa then they joined us for a cup of coffee and we chatted as I kept watching the time and wishing it to hurry up so that all of our children can be here together. Our future as a family looks amazing and I already know that we are going to make the best memories. Our children will grow up knowing that they are loved and cared for and will never be in need of anything ever again. It still shocks me to think about where I was a year ago and where I am now but I wouldn't change a thing... well, if I could change something it would be Molly's last name, she would be my wife until our last breath and maybe we'd even have another baby or two but even if that time doesn't come I'm still going to enjoy every single moment of my life with my little family and foreve
Letting go Epilogue part one
Molly"They are so beautiful, Molly dolly." Tom cooes over the little bundle in his arms as he walks around my bed and takes a seat next to me. "I agree, little heartbreakers in the making here," Jack says as he stands over by the window with my other son in his arms. "You were so incredible, baby," Chris whispers in my ear as he sits on my other side and gently plays with my hair. I've always found it soothing and Chris knows this."Who do I have?" Tom asks not once taking his eyes off his nephew. "This is Jacob and Jack has Jonah." Jack walks over to us while rocking Jonah in his arms smiling so hard that his face has to be hurting but he doesn't seem to care. "Cute names." Both Chris and I nod agreeing. I love the names even if I didn't pick them. A little while ago I discovered that Chris has never got a say in what any of the other children were called. Of course, he loves all of their names but still, his opinion wasn't even considered so I told him that he could pick both the t
Letting go Chapter 103
Christian“So what do you want, Amy?”“We’ll mostly I want to apologise to you and your family for everything I have done but first I want to ask you something. Is… is that any chance of trying again, Chris? I miss my family and I want you all back.” That I was not expecting and for a moment it threw me, which of course she takes as me considering it.“We can start again, Chris. You me and the kids. We can move house if you want. I’m better now and clean and I have no plans of going back to who I was.”“Amy, that’s not going to happen.”“But I thought… won’t you even consider it?” Fuck why does she have to do this? Even after everything that she has done to everyone I still don't want to have to hurt her in any way. Am I stupid for thinking that way? properly but it is what it is. She was once my wife regardless of what she has done. "No, Amy. I'm sorry but I don't need to consider it because it isn't happening."But why, Chris? We were great together once.""We were Amy and when we f
Letting go Chapter 102
Molly "Amy?" She gives me a nod and a smile that seems genuine which is worrying in itself. "What are you doing here, Amy?" Ruby comes to stand next to me looking seriously pissed and I don't blame her, Amy has tried to destroy her life in more ways than one. I'll give it to the girl, she has some serious balls to come back here after everything that she has done. "I know I shouldn't be here but there is some stuff that I need to say to all of you and I really hope that you will allow me to, even if I don't deserve it." She looks like she's being genuine but I really don't trust her. “Why should I let you anywhere near my family?” Ruby moves so that she's pretty much standing in front of me and covering my body with hers. Which brings her attention to my stomach. “You're pregnant!” If this was anyone else the look of shock on her face would have me laughing but as it is I just want to hide my baby bump from her. I nod but don't say anything. For a moment a sad look covers her
Letting go Chapter 101
Christian"It feels like it's been forever since we've had a chat just you and me. How's things going at the bar darlin'?" My mom sets a cup of coffee down in front of me on the kitchen table and then sits next to me with her own. Brody is at school while both Sophie and Katie are taking a nap and everyone else is either on the farm or at the pub. "I know, Ma. The bar is going great but things have been crazy busy these past few weeks, especially with getting ready for the twins."She nods her head excitement pouring out of her, She's not been shy in showing how excited she is for the twin's arrival but then again she's always been the same with all of my children. "I know things are crazy but it will be worth it. Two more little babies, two more grandbabies for me to love. Oww, I can't wait!" Her words make me smile and laugh. "I know, it's going to be manic but so much fun.""Oh yes, I knew the twin gene would go to one of you, maybe it will go to more than one of you, can you imagi
Letting go Chapter 100
MollyIt's been two months since I told Christian about the baby and it's honestly been the best two weeks of my life. When I told him part of me knew that everything would be okay, he has said on several occasions that if it happened that we would be okay but still, there was a part of me that worried that he had changed his mind and that he wouldn't want this. Of course, I was wrong and I kind of feel a little guilty for having any doubt in him.The day after I told him we told the rest of his family. We did tell Tom first on his own as he's my best friend and I felt that it was the right thing to do and thankfully Chris I was more than happy about it. As you can imagine his family was so insanely excited at the news of another baby coming into the family and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't cry for about an hour at the pure love that is in this family.I never knew the love of a family growing up. My birth mother put me into the foster care system when I was two years old becau
Letting go Chapter 99
Christian"I'm sorry say that again?" Molly looks a little nervous but still, I can see the ghost of a smile on her beautiful face. "I said I'm pregnant, Chris. I'm sorry about the blunt delivery but I didn't know how to tell you and I want you to know so that you can be sure that me moving in with you is really what you want." Is this girl serious?Aside from making this girl my wife, I couldn't think of anything more I could want. Fuck I don't know what scares me more right now, the fact that I'm thinking about marrying her so soon or that the idea of marrying her so soon doesn't scare me. After the shit show that was my marriage to Amy, I never thought that I would want to be married again."Chris?" The small tremor in her voice brings me back to the present and her sad face. Shit, I was so lost in my own thoughts that I've got her worried when she doesn't need to be. I place a kiss on top of her hair and watch as a shiver runs down her body only it is more a shiver from her being
Letting go Chapter 98
Molly"Chris, what are you doing?" I giggle as he leaves the farmhouse and starts heading towards his house with me hanging over his shoulder. "I already told you." I yelp then laugh even harder when he slaps my ass and picks up his pace. The embarrassment that I felt when he picked me up in front of his brothers has quickly turned to lust and now I'm more than eager to get to his place. "Yes, but I could get there just as quick on my feet you know?" He smacks my ass once again before gently rubbing it. "That may be true but I much prefer you over my shoulder." I must admit being over his shoulder isn't the worst thing in the world, not when his fine ass is in my direct view.Whistling and hooting have my head shooting up and my face going bright red when I see Hunter and some other guy standing in one of the pig pens looking our way. Well, that's my embarrassment back. What the hell are they even doing out here so late? Of course, Christian has no shame at all and instead of ignoring
Letting go Chapter 97
ChristianOnce I know they are happy, distracted, and being taken care of I throw on my boots and head out of the house and across the field to the farmhouse and my girl. I walk in and instantly spot her sitting at the kitchen table next to Tom. I walk over to them and rest my hands on her shoulders before placing a kiss on the top of her head. "How's the shopping going?" She tilts her head up to look at me and rolls her eyes making me smile. "Great! I have everything that I wanted." Tom says sounding very proud of himself. "And how about you darling, you bought yourself anything?" "No, she hasn't despite my pleas." Tom groans dramatically. "I don't need anything sweet cheeks, not right now anyway." He gives her a look as if she has offended him making me laugh. "You do not have to need new clothes to shop my girl, have I not taught you anything in our long and lively friendship?" She laughs at his dramatics while sipping on her coffee. "One outfit and that's it I mean it!" She s
