Chapter 8

Dalton

Seeing Charlie again was like subjecting me to complete familiar heartbreak. I felt like I was transported back to being an eighteen-year-old, confronted with that excruciating pain of her rejection, knowing that she didn't feel the same way about me.

        I won't lie, it hurts like hell at how frosty she had regarded me. I was like an unwanted person that she wanted to expel out of her life like vomit. What was I expecting? That she would run into my arms and say she missed me like crazy? I would give anything in the world, even my arm and a leg just to hear her say that, but it was just wishful thinking. It would never happen again.

        A day after the confession, I was tempted to fight back and never give in to defeat. I'm a stubborn guy. I wanted to prove to Charlie that she would learn to love me and we could make it work if she would give me that sliver of a chance, that one single opportunity. But it was clear in her eyes that she only cared for me as a friend, so I dejectedly decided to let it go and face the hurtful truth.

        We're nothing more than just friends.

        For the first time in my life, I cried myself to sleep for the love that I would never have.

        Through all that devastation, the excitement to wake up every morning with a smile on my face was a strain. I went on with my life like nothing had happened, as though I hadn't confessed my undying love to Charlie. Yet, inside, I was dead. Everything around me was just a piece of crap and keeping my friendship with Charlie was the hardest.

        Day after day was a struggle. Day after day, I was tormented with her beautiful face. Even in dreams, she followed me. I wanted to yell, scream or shout, anything at all to make her see the truth that we could make this work, but every time my will urged me to do it, the logical side of me would pull me back and say, No, it's not worth it. I needed a distraction and that is where Caroline came in.

        The desperation to move on led me to ask Caroline out a week after the confession. Charlie told me that she liked me, so why not? Might as well grab that chance, because after all, she liked me and maybe, just maybe, I would learn to like her back.

        And I did.

        Caroline helped me get back on my feet. She was sweet and compassionate. She wasn't the typical popular girl who would go up on your face and say, 'I rule this school, bitch. Get out of my way or I'll hurt you' type of girl. In fact, she was the complete opposite of that stereotype. She had her flaws; she may not be Charlie, but she was Caroline, up front and real. With every waking moment that I spent with her came with a price of neglecting my friendship with Charlie.

        I ditched her on purpose; my alibis have compiled on top of each other like a book from all those times I had purposefully missed our plans. I had no choice. I had to detach myself from her, make her believe that I was busy and wasn't giving her the time of the day. I pushed her away as far as I could go, and yet all the douche bag moves I did came with regret. She finally caught up.

        With that, I had lost her for good.

        Did I want it in the first place?

        At first yes, but when she moved away on graduation day without saying goodbye?

        No, I didn't want it.

        The day Charlie left was her way of saying, 'I never want to see you ever again'. It hurt, it really hurt, and at the same time, I understood where she came from. After all, I pushed her away and the most reasonable thing to do slapped me in the face by leaving without a word.

        I didn't even bother to try reaching out, though sometimes I wanted to... but again, logic overruled feelings.

        Then college came. Originally, Charlie and I planned in going to the same school, but since she was not here, I was left by myself. In those years, I poured all my attention on school work and with Caroline's help, not once did Charlie cross my mind. All the love that I was supposed to give to Charlie, I gave it to Caroline until I proposed to her a week ago, after graduation. She taught me how to love and live again. I wanted to spend my life with her and be a father of our future children. However, I still loved Charlie and I always will, but it wasn't fair to Caroline. I had to let go, which was the hardest part.

        And I did - or I thought I did - 'till she came back home after four long, tough years.

        I wasn't so sure anymore. I had thought she would never come back, but I guess with this wedding, I hadn't anticipated my feelings would come crawling back like a tsunami or worst, would she even come after all!

    This is going to be one big cluster fuck, that I am sure.

        "Baby, are you okay?"

        Startled, I broke out of my thoughts and found out I was staring at the same spot where Charlie stood. Turning around, I came face-to-face to a concerned Caroline, my fiancée.

        I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just thinking." I wanted to snort at myself for that one. Clearly I had done more than just thinking

        Her face took on an unsure look. "What were you thinking about?"

       'You don't want to know,' I thought dryly. I needed to get out of here; I needed a guy's point of view about this. "Nothing important... just stuff," I assured and began to back away from her. "Listen, I need to go somewhere. I'll be back in time for lunch, okay?"

        Turning around without heeding for her response, I jogged out of Charlie's pathway and headed for my guy best friend since college apartment, Wade.

        Wade and I met back in college, during freshmen year on one of our classes in Engineering and he was originally from Connecticut. He's a cool dude, level-headed and would never judge you no matter what you do or say. We had gotten closer throughout our time in college because we shared something in common.

        The love of his life didn't feel the same about him.

        Yeah, I know. We lead such sad lives.

        Wade's apartment was just a couple blocks from my house. It was a four-story, gray building with an underground parking space. The location's ideal: near college, just a walking distance and the rent is reasonable. I wanted to move out of my house, but mom insisted that it was financially better not to. She had a point after all.

       It wasn't that long that I was climbing up the stairs two at the time and then I pounded on his door like a maniac. "Wade, open up!" I hollered.

        I heard an annoyed guttural sound from the throat, some shuffling noises and footsteps padded towards the door. "Yeah, yeah, hold your damn panties," Wade said with irritation and flung the door open. Wow, he looked mad. His entire face was ablaze with fury and I am pretty sure  even the devil would scurry away from him.

        Oops...

        "What do you want?" he spat hotly. He rain ran his fingers through his short dark brown hair, making it more disheveled than it already was. "Here I thought college is over I would get much needed sleep, but I guess it was too good to be true."

       I rolled my eyes. He's such a drama queen. "I need to talk to you about stuff."

        His eyebrows lifted upward. "Stuff, you say?" he asked and I nodded. "Please elaborate because I am not a psychic." He stepped aside to let me in to his studio-type apartment and shut the door.

        "So," he began as we headed towards his living room and sat down on the couch. "What is it that you'd like to talk to me about that you needed to disturb my beauty sleep?"

       Taking a deep breath and exhaled, I decided to cut to the chase and drop the bomb. It's quicker that way. "Charlie's back."

        "Oh, okay. That's cool." I waited for him to let the news sink in and when it did, his eyes bugged out like a freaking owl. "Wait, Charlie's back?"

        That took him long enough.

        I nodded. "Yeah, and she brought her boyfriend with her. Some Italian dude named Mike." When I said Italian and Mike, I spat at it like it was dirt.

        Wade smirked, amusement twinkling on his hazel brown eyes as he caught on to my obvious jealousy. I won't lie, I am jealous that he's with her. Charlie's, after all, the love of my life. She always had been and even though I love Caroline, she couldn't hold a candle against her sister.

        A sad fact, and no matter how much you try to think that there would be no competition, you would always end up comparing them.

        “Do I detect the green monster coming out?" he teased, nudging me on the arm.

        I smacked the back of his head hard, the slapping sound audible from the impact. "Shut up, tool. Now focus."

        He glared, rubbing the back of his head. "That hurt, you know... you hit like a guy."

        "I am a guy."

        "I thought you're a girl."

        "Do I have a vajayjay?"

        "I thought those were boobs on your chest."

        "Focus, you moron!" I spat, smacking his head again. "I swear, you are such a ding-a-ling!"

        "Will you stop hitting me?!" he growled, rubbing his head again. "I'm already dumb and you are making it worst!"

        As much as I was annoyed with my best friend, I couldn't help but laugh at his statement. True, Wade is a bit slow, but he isn't that retarded slow; but for making him admit to himself that he's dumb, it's just taking the piss. Oh, the idiocy of it all...

        "Glad to be some amusement to you," he said, clearly annoyed. "Geez, I might as well make a career out of being a human punching bag."

       "I'm sorry," I said in between laughter. "Okay, okay. I'll be serious." Trying to calm myself down, I regained my composure and cleared my throat. Here goes nothing...

        "Charlie's back, and obviously, she's here for the wedding," I began.

        "When did she come back?" he asked, genuinely curious.

        "Yesterday, unannounced, and boy was she furious." And she was very extremely pissed. Caroline was a bit stressed with the wedding, that she didn't want to risk flying out to California and put the planning on hold, but it was Charlie's graduation, they needed to be there. Meredith didn't mind, but I had thought otherwise. Missing Charlie's graduation was a bit unfair, far too bit have crossed the line, but being the stupid prick that I am, I told her off on it.

        Yeah, great job, doofus...

        Wade's brows furrowed. "Why would she be?"

        I gulped. "They didn't go to her graduation. Caroline urged her parents not to go because of the wedding. She didn't want to risk putting the wedding plans on hold, so..."

        He sighed. "Good grief, Caroline's becoming a bridezilla."

        "Tell me about it," I murmured.

        He laughed lightly. "Well, you are marrying the bridezilla, so suck it up."

        "Shut up."

        He rolled his eyes as a response.

        I went on. "Wade, she's different now," I told him. "Sure, she's a headstrong woman, who wouldn't put up with anyone's crap, but now she's like the Ice Queen or something. Hell, she swears like a drunken Irish!"

        "Dalton." He sighed, giving me a sympathetic look. "A lot can change in four years," he said softly. "Do you expect Charlie to be the same after what she has been through with your neglect?"

        "I know, but... I just... I just..." I feel so helpless. If I could turn back in time, I would undo everything in a heartbeat. Charlie's friendship meant so much to me and to throw it all away just because of a love that would never be returned became a barrier between us. I never should have pushed her away. I had regretted it with every fiber of my being and the saddest part is that I can never have it again. As they say, regret always comes at the last.

        I'm in deep shit.

        "I know," he said knowingly.

        "What am I going to do?" I asked, desperate to win Charlie's friendship again. "We are fighting like cats and dogs now. I just want us to be normal again."

        "Nothing's going to be the same ever again, bro," he said. God, I hate it when he's right. "You pushed her away and you succeeded. You made your choice and you have to live with the fact that both of you will never be normal again."

        I groaned. "And she's going to be my sister-in-law. It's going to be awkward." Hell yeah, it's going to be, unless she decides to visit for holidays, birthdays and a funeral service if a relative died (heaven forbid for that). Not like she had over the past four years, but still...

        Wade patted my back softly. "It's going to be hard, but you are getting married to a beautiful woman. You've lost something, but you gained something back. That much I know is the icing to the cake."

        I smiled wistfully. "True," I said, then a frown formed on my lips. "But I still want to make amends with Charlie. I owe her that much."

        Wade smiled. "And you do that - it eases your conscience," he said and then he clapped his hands together. "Since you are here and rudely disrupted my beauty sleep, let's play some Left4Dead. I want to blast some zombie heads."

        I rolled my eyes. Here I thought my best friend was smart for once. Guess I was wrong. "You and your XBOX..." I grumbled.

        He grinned. "It's better than running around catching that elongated ball in a field."

        I glared at Wade. He wasn't the sporty kind of dude; all he ever does is play video games and his favorite, romancing the ladies. That man hoe...

        "It's called football, Wade," I said through clenched teeth. "Try playing it and you would understand how great contact sport is rather than lying around on your couch playing god knows what on your XBOX."

        He rolled his eyes. "Right, and I'll get all sweaty and icky. Yeah, very sexy indeed."

        Eventually, I ended up playing for a couple of hours, blowing zombie brains to smithereens. Around 11:00, Caroline called and said my parents were already there so that was my cue to leave. Wade wasn't sad when I left, in fact, he was too engrossed saying "Die, bitch! Die!" all the time... When I got to Caroline's house, true to what she said, my parents were already there, talking to her mom and dad in the living room. I noticed Charlie wasn't home yet and his prick of a boyfriend, Mike, as well. Who names their kid Mike anyway?

        "Where's Charlie?" I asked Caroline after I kissed her cheek and sat down next to her.

        She shrugged. "I called her and she said that she was on her way here. She'll be here soon."

        "Charlie's home?" My mom asked, surprise and glee filled her voice. "Since when did she arrive?"

        I nodded. "She got in yesterday."

        My mom sighed. "I missed her very much. I don't know why she left without saying goodbye, but it doesn't matter as long as she is here with us."

        Mom took it hard when Charlie left. She was the daughter she never had and she adored her like crazy. Whenever Charlie came over to my house to hang out, she would smother her with love and baked goodies, which Charlie didn't mind munching to her heart's content. My dad, however, was a different story. When he heard the news, he gave me that look of disappointment. I had no idea what that look was for, but maybe it was meant for Charlie. Either that or he knew something was wrong and he immediately connected it to me.

        "I'm home!"

        My mom gasped and stood up, happiness swarmed her features. "Charlie, is that you?"

Charlie entered the living room, with Mike closely behind her. "Mrs. Parkerson?" she asked, surprise encompassed her face.

        Oh well, this is going to be an awkward lunch.