Beth wanted to query the maid who was putting up an aura of naivety. She had instructed everyone that she did not wish to entertain and so far only Albert seemed to be adhering. The Butler would send her calling cards the moment they arrived and invitations as soon as they were received. While Anna would, in passing, tell of the ball happening that day, or the luncheon being held at a particular moment. She wished they would let her be."I do not wish to entertain. Tell her I had an engagement to attend to in town and had left the mansion all day." The Dowager Duchess had been by many times and on all occasions she had told them to send her off with the excuse of her being away from home. This would not be different.She was a good woman, maybe too good for the son she had, but Beth did not want to associate herself with her just yet. She would never be able to evade her forever but she would for as long as she could. She seemingly could not face the older woman who seemed to already
She was a beautiful woman who did not seem to have any grudge, or hold anyone accountable to a fault. She was loving and accepting and it was confusing to Beth. The night at the ball, Lord Carlisle had told her that Lady Marjorie wanted him to develop a better relationship with Lady Cossington, yet she was welcoming to her who had upset the Lady. Surely, she should be disliked, shouldn't she?She remembered how Lord Carlisle had told her that she reminded him of his mother. Maybe in terms of height, for she could not relate what else. The Lady was outspoken and brave. She was accepting of a stranger, and she loved her son.Maybe deep down, Beth had wished for the older woman to dislike her, loathe her even for upsetting Lady Cossington from the position of Lady Carlisle, but she was surprised that she was accorded with the eye of kindness. Although, she remained wary."Thank you. How was your day?""Oh, I had a short visit with Lady Dumbray and Mrs. Eastwood. It was enjoyable. We talk
He didn't care for her. "You are mistaken. He did it so he would not be humiliated." He had feared her to be with child. It was confirmed now that she wasn't.Lady Marjorie went quiet. When Beth looked at her, she had a soft smile on her lips. "Do you think my son cares about being humiliated or not?"She nearly nodded. He married her, so he does care."He is the Duke of Carlisle. He only need mention it and the talks would cease." Her eyebrows furrowed. She sat up. "Could that be the reason you have avoided social life since the wedding?" Beth was quiet. "You need not torture yourself. I will set the rumour straight."Beth panicked. "Oh please don't, My Lady. I only need to wait it out. Soon they would find another to talk about."The Dowager Duchess held her eyes and she looked away. She was scared, but she did not want anyone to see it.After a while, the Dowager Duchess rose and walked about the room. "I love this wall colour, but I think it is about time to have it changed."Why
Beth gasped. She had suspected but to have it confirmed and to know that it was Lord Carlisle's, was frightening. She stepped back. "What had happened?"The Dowager Duchess rubbed again, then she stepped back also. "Has there ever been a moment in your life you would wish undone. A day or a happening you would gladly go back to and undo?"There was. The morning of her eighteenth birthday. Time and time again Beth had wished to revisit that hill only to run back down with her brother before tragedy struck. And she had, in her dreams. She would race atop the hill, search for him and attempt running downhills only to find herself alone at the bottom.A sad smile rose. "My son had always been a good student, but that day he had failed a few questions on his test and his Father was reprimanding him sternly." She looked at Beth. "He was only seven years of age, a few months' shy of his eighth birthday." She stepped further away from the door. "Charles was such a sweet boy. His smile was so
Two hours after she waved the Dowager Duchess goodbye, Beth had her letters and her gift sent to Westside Manor, even adding a note for her father. It did not matter anymore if it would be read or not, she simply wanted him to know that she had not intentionally chosen to make him sad. Or as he put it, embarrass the family.She had penned down her reply for Lucy to send the next day. It was succinct – She was fine. She hoped Lucy and Lord D'Averette were too. And she wished them luck on their plans to have a child.She had touched her lower abdomen.Lord Carlisle had married her to save her from any scandal of her being with child outside of marriage, even though she had, without certainty, sworn that she was not with one. Now she was certain, but she did not know if she should be happy or sad.She had always wanted a child. But that was a long time ago, before Lord Cossington had insulted her family and humiliated her sister. She had wished for her own children too when she was young
And Lady Dumbray? She belonged to the higher society. Her mother was friends with the Dowager Duchess and enjoyed flower planting as much as the Dowager Duchess. But was her daughter as kind as she was? Beth doubted. It was not prejudice, but she was Lady Cossington's friend.Beth hesitated at the door, closed her eyes and exhaled. A second later, she opened them and willed her legs to carry her to the waiting women. She entered the Red Room."All hail Lady de Nocrosse. Or would you rather I called you Lady Carlisle." Lady Cossington declared. She was staring at the portrait above the fireplace when Beth entered. She walked over to her. "Should I bow or shall I curtsy?" She walked over, smiling. It was not genuine.Beth almost sighed. This would be tough, she thought. "Good afternoon, Lady Cossington. How do you do?""I do not know. Celeste," She called, her hand on her chin. "What do you suppose I tell the woman who stole my husband how I am fairing?"Lady Dumbray walked to join them
"Harriet!" Lady Dumbray ran over, pulling her friend back. "Stop this, this instant."Beth reeled back from the slaps. She fell back but quickly caught the arm of the chair so she would not fall to the ground. She could not believe it was happening again. She had feared a reoccurrence, hence her caution around the Lady. It was unimaginable that she would strike her again after the warning Lord Carlisle had given.She breathed repeatedly trying to contain the pain. Unlike before, the ache came immediately after the strike. Lady Cossington's finger had gone into her eye and it turned red immediately. Her neck started to hurt as the force used against her had move her head. She held onto her face, refusing to let the tears flow. She would not be defeated a second time.Still it hurt."We should leave." Lady Dumbray pulled. "We are leaving this instant." She told the other lady who seemed not to be satisfied with her assault."Don't tell me what to do." She pushed against her friend, stru
Anna busied herself, running to the bath to dampen a cloth and after massaging Beth's face, proceeded to brush down her hair slowly, removing the hairpins one before the other, hoping not to cause her mistress any more pain than she was already in.Beth held the wet, cold cloth to her hot cheek, it stung for a moment, then it was soothing. A sharp pain tore through the wound and Beth flinched. Her mind was made up. She would put the afternoon behind her. She would continue with the planning for the Christmas Ball, the repainting, redecorating and all. Her resolve still held.And tomorrow, if any one came calling she would receive them all, even if they would only come to mock or insult her. She would be present at luncheons, attending balls and tea parties, with or without Lord Carlisle. Listening to people talking about her and calling her names, until they tire of her and move to the next person.The cut stung again, and Beth quickly removed the cold cloth. She was looking at the mi
She knew he truly cared for her too. Why would he not tell her he loved her? He had cried when he came to know of their child. He protected her from the scorn of the ton and stayed from her when he thought she wanted freedom from him. To Beth, these were all forms of love. Why then would he then not tell her he loved her? His gaze lifted and their eyes locked. "If I do," he whispered. "I'm afraid I would end up losing you." Her heart slammed, filling once more with love for him. she was absolutely breathless now. She never thought she could love him more. He was broken, broken by the tragedy of his parents. Scared that if he admitted aloud to loving her, she would be lost. But Beth knew better, she knew she would not be, she could never love another nor leave him. She loved the Duke of Carlisle and nothing could change it. He was the one she loved. She saw his fear, that he would become like his father, who gave up love to protect his power and title, leaving behind another importa
* * *Beth gasped as Charles's lips took hers, the familiar sensation sending shivers over her body and a known heat to the core of her being. Her eyes closed. He brushed his mouth back and forth against hers as his hands came to her cheeks. Her nostrils tinged. Surprisingly, he smelt like flowers and tasted like the best sunrise.The pebbles dropped and she clasped his shoulders, pulling closer. The pressure increased. His hand held the back of her head as he fought to pry her lips open. She gave in, the kiss was one of hunger and need and longing. He kissed her as if he had sworn his life to it, never wanting to let go.But when air failed her and she protested. He released her mouth.Beth was reeling from the pressure of the kiss and Charles shared her sentiment. His breathing complimented hers as her lungs fought for enough air to keep her alive, while her head fought for thoughts to keep her sane and in place."Darling?" Charles asked as soon as he could breathe naturally.It had
April 1827The rain had finally given up the challenge and let up to a drizzle, but not before creating obstacles in the form of puddles and broken branches, and hiding the moon from sight. In a bid to destroy, the wind had brought down branches and uprooted trees. The workers and the men who catered to the trees would be quite preoccupied in the days to come.The Carlisle coach pulled through, hurtling down the road at the request of its master, bringing itself home. It struggled against the rocks and branches flung about. In the sky, the flashing lightning and cracking thunder gave a promise of the rain's return. It would again storm terrifically, it said.Albert properly held the flowers picked from Torrence Hall when they had made a brief stop, and the cigars Mr. Danbury had given him at Lanhandron for his Lord. Although he had refused, many times, the man did not adhere to him. Did he think there was another merchant who they went to?Charles held freely onto the safety strap as
***Charles had finished with his work and was going to his room, walking the dark halls alone. As soon as Albert had finished attending to him, assisting him change his clothes and putting out his documents in his study, he had sent the man away, needing to remain with his ledgers and work without the hovering presence of an overzealous servant.Over the weeks after his return, he had been sitting with his documents, checking and ascertaining to a fault the works of his solicitors and confirming the progress of his estates.Beth and the builders had, to a large extent, established an edifice and he couldn't be more proud of her. The materials needed for the windows and the doors had already been purchased. On a later day, he would pay the site a visit, but he knew there was nothing to worry about.The bank statements and cheques his solicitors had sent were beautiful. The farms were progressing, the lands had been cleared and prepared for planting. The other estates had been renovate
Beth searched for his emotion, searching to see if he truly was not angry. He wasn't. She turned her away, letting her eyes wander around. The sky was dark and save for the fire, it was all darkness. The wind blew, whispering to the fire, troubling it, and against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She sighed. It was warmer at the foot of the hill.How were they on the hill?!"We were standing by the foot of the hill." She mumbled to herself.Eric heard her. "Now, we are here, atop it. Isn't life wonderful?"It was. Wonderful and unpredictable. The grim feeling rose again, and Beth felt uncertain about the future, but she was almost sure of the disaster waiting to happen."Eric, we should not be here." She held his wrist. "This hill_"He cut her off. "What about the hill?" When his smile surfaced, it was one of melancholia. Beth had the silent feeling that he knew of what was to come but would not prevent it. Was he not afraid of it? Was he not scared for the future?If he was not,
"Beth. Beth!" Someone was whispering, calling out to her. The voice was close by, as though the caller was by her side, but also like they were afar off. It was a familiar voice. Beth stirred in her sleep, refusing to pay attention to the call, choosing rather to dive deeper into the world of sweet subconsciousness and unawareness."Bethany wake up, it's morning." The voice called again. She turned, pulling the covers higher as she allowed the darkness continuous hold on her tighten. The comfortable sleep carried her and she liked it. She enjoyed it.But the familiar voice would not relent. "Wake up, sister." It called again. She turned away from it, drowning it out. The bed covers wrapped perfectly around her, helping her remain where she was, far from the voice.Again, it called. "Wake up!!!" The caller shook her, forcing her to regain consciousness. She refused but he was as stubborn as her, finally she gave in. Annoyed enough, Beth forced her eyes open.The room was dark at first,
***Beth stayed with Lady Marjorie who was as excited as a church mouse and the group, laughing gaily at the jokes of Lord Witte. When it broke, she walked with Peter Sinclair, Lord Witte's son-in-law, before excusing herself, telling that her feet were tired and she needed to sit. She walked away to the fountain and sat herself down.The water was beautiful and golden due to the lamps set up about the place. It beckoned and she answered. Her fingers played lightly over the surface of the water and her contact with it caused ripples, distorted and obedient to the slow movement. The lines formed and swept silently by, but before they could scatter she would create yet another set of lines. It was a nonsensical act but it was fun for her, at least for the moment.The Willowbrook sisters had scared her with their words but it had made her receive a promise from Charles, a promise that everyday made life beautiful. Her words to their mother had been true. There was nothing to forgive. The
Beth shook her head. "No." She giggled. "Not too long ago, they saw me as a seductress and a thief. Soon they would see me as Bethany, and even if they don't, I am satisfied with being Lady Carlisle, after all Lord Carlisle is my husband, is he not? I would no more care for how people see me, it is their choice but I would demand my honour, it is my right."She was different. She was bolder. What had happened to the timid woman who was angry at the too quick a marriage and the new home she was to own and manage? The same who would always turn her away at every visit? Marjorie liked this woman. She was good for Charles. She was good for the Duchy. She was good for herself. Like this, she could face society and win even though many people still held contempt against her.She was brave."You are braver than I am and I consider myself quite brave. Marrying John was one of the greatest joys of my life, but there were days I was forced to regret it."The same people who bowed to her now, se
***Marjorie turned her head at every approaching carriage, hoping it to be the one from Carlisle Crest. They had not promised to be in attendance but she hoped they would, seeing as they had not rejected the invitation either. She wanted them to be more aligned with the ton and her ways, even if just a little bit. It was alright to have one's dealings, but society had some rules and breaking so many of them l might lead to not being accepted or worse invited to its norms and functions ever again. She knew Charles didn't care for societal rules but she did, and perhaps Beth might too and it would be cruel to steal it from the young woman.Mrs. Blackwell, Jacob Blackwell's new and older wife, waved to her and she waved in return. They did not run in the same circle but she was a nice woman who, like her, had defiled society and married the man she loved. When Mrs. Blackwell invited her in with a gesture, she refused and gesticulated back, saying she would be in the open area in a matte