Beth gasped. She had suspected but to have it confirmed and to know that it was Lord Carlisle's, was frightening. She stepped back. "What had happened?"The Dowager Duchess rubbed again, then she stepped back also. "Has there ever been a moment in your life you would wish undone. A day or a happening you would gladly go back to and undo?"There was. The morning of her eighteenth birthday. Time and time again Beth had wished to revisit that hill only to run back down with her brother before tragedy struck. And she had, in her dreams. She would race atop the hill, search for him and attempt running downhills only to find herself alone at the bottom.A sad smile rose. "My son had always been a good student, but that day he had failed a few questions on his test and his Father was reprimanding him sternly." She looked at Beth. "He was only seven years of age, a few months' shy of his eighth birthday." She stepped further away from the door. "Charles was such a sweet boy. His smile was so
Two hours after she waved the Dowager Duchess goodbye, Beth had her letters and her gift sent to Westside Manor, even adding a note for her father. It did not matter anymore if it would be read or not, she simply wanted him to know that she had not intentionally chosen to make him sad. Or as he put it, embarrass the family.She had penned down her reply for Lucy to send the next day. It was succinct – She was fine. She hoped Lucy and Lord D'Averette were too. And she wished them luck on their plans to have a child.She had touched her lower abdomen.Lord Carlisle had married her to save her from any scandal of her being with child outside of marriage, even though she had, without certainty, sworn that she was not with one. Now she was certain, but she did not know if she should be happy or sad.She had always wanted a child. But that was a long time ago, before Lord Cossington had insulted her family and humiliated her sister. She had wished for her own children too when she was young
And Lady Dumbray? She belonged to the higher society. Her mother was friends with the Dowager Duchess and enjoyed flower planting as much as the Dowager Duchess. But was her daughter as kind as she was? Beth doubted. It was not prejudice, but she was Lady Cossington's friend.Beth hesitated at the door, closed her eyes and exhaled. A second later, she opened them and willed her legs to carry her to the waiting women. She entered the Red Room."All hail Lady de Nocrosse. Or would you rather I called you Lady Carlisle." Lady Cossington declared. She was staring at the portrait above the fireplace when Beth entered. She walked over to her. "Should I bow or shall I curtsy?" She walked over, smiling. It was not genuine.Beth almost sighed. This would be tough, she thought. "Good afternoon, Lady Cossington. How do you do?""I do not know. Celeste," She called, her hand on her chin. "What do you suppose I tell the woman who stole my husband how I am fairing?"Lady Dumbray walked to join them
"Harriet!" Lady Dumbray ran over, pulling her friend back. "Stop this, this instant."Beth reeled back from the slaps. She fell back but quickly caught the arm of the chair so she would not fall to the ground. She could not believe it was happening again. She had feared a reoccurrence, hence her caution around the Lady. It was unimaginable that she would strike her again after the warning Lord Carlisle had given.She breathed repeatedly trying to contain the pain. Unlike before, the ache came immediately after the strike. Lady Cossington's finger had gone into her eye and it turned red immediately. Her neck started to hurt as the force used against her had move her head. She held onto her face, refusing to let the tears flow. She would not be defeated a second time.Still it hurt."We should leave." Lady Dumbray pulled. "We are leaving this instant." She told the other lady who seemed not to be satisfied with her assault."Don't tell me what to do." She pushed against her friend, stru
Anna busied herself, running to the bath to dampen a cloth and after massaging Beth's face, proceeded to brush down her hair slowly, removing the hairpins one before the other, hoping not to cause her mistress any more pain than she was already in.Beth held the wet, cold cloth to her hot cheek, it stung for a moment, then it was soothing. A sharp pain tore through the wound and Beth flinched. Her mind was made up. She would put the afternoon behind her. She would continue with the planning for the Christmas Ball, the repainting, redecorating and all. Her resolve still held.And tomorrow, if any one came calling she would receive them all, even if they would only come to mock or insult her. She would be present at luncheons, attending balls and tea parties, with or without Lord Carlisle. Listening to people talking about her and calling her names, until they tire of her and move to the next person.The cut stung again, and Beth quickly removed the cold cloth. She was looking at the mi
They were back to the topic. Alexander was like a bloodhound who would never let go of something he was really after. "You asked the last time.""You evaded the last time."This time, it was Charles who exhaled. "It is not so young anymore."Alexander kissed his teeth as he waved. "That is all for show. You are newlyweds, it does not matter. What goes on in the bedroom is all that does matter." Charles turned away. He opened his cigar box that lay on the table. Then he heard Alexander's voice. There was surprise. "You are not sleeping with her?!"Shocked, he quickly looked around to make sure no one heard him. None did. "Perhaps you should raise your voice a bit more, Your Majesty. Most haven't heard you." He said through clenched teeth. His emotions bothering between uneasiness and irritation."What is marriage if you cannot have your wife at will?" He asked, his voice greatly reduced."And her will?""She can have you too." He said matter-of-factly. "I have no reserve with whoever i
The day broke with plenteous possibilities and for Beth, the will to live; the will to truly live. She had made a great decision the day before: to stop feeling guilty for the life she was living, the life that had been bestowed on her and to no more permit the likes of Lady Cossington to faze her. She would live her life for herself, attending to her duties as asked of her by the ton, but far from their will and orders. She would live for no one but herself. And if Lord Carlisle would allow her, she would live for him too.Beth's hand searched underneath her pillows and she retrieved her journal. The brown, leather jacketed book had for long been her friend and her confidante. Its pages had always listened to her complaints, collected her words as a friend and agreed with her as an ally. She smiled and began to flip through it.She recalled to memory every event that led to the words on each page. Her fingers rubbed the watermark her tears when she told the pages of Lord Carlisle's a
The maids quickly finished, and with endless bows to him, left the room, leaving it almost as empty as when he first arrived. He was getting impatient. Where was she? Why was she late? He had caught from her conversation with her maid that she was headed into the kitchen. If the maid had prepared the table, then where was she?Charles scoffed, mocking himself. He had gallantly kept away from her for months, what was a few minutes more to wait? He could wait for her all day, he thought and realized it was true.Knowing she would finally come, he could wait for her for a lifetime.When the doors again opened and closed with a light bang, Charles turned to look and his heart did an unnatural flip.She had come.Beth strolled into the dining hall wearing a yellow dress, with a black shawl over her shoulders. The dress was simple and gorgeous, just like the lady who wore it. She walked to the table, smiling at the lilies she held, repeatedly sniffing them. Flowers? Had his mother come call