Chapter VI, Hateful Society

I don't hate it here. I have been through something worse than this. As I talk in my head, another bucket of gutter water splashed to my face. 

"Hahaha, son of a whore" Some boy mocking me as they running to the gate.

This is not something new as I enrolled in an all-boys school. Sometimes they punch me, pour me with gutter water like before, use me as a stool and even use me as an ashtray. It's not like I can't fight them. I could but I don't want to make any problems for Dan. He got a lot of things on his plate. I don't know why he keeps hiding his emotion in front of me as if he wants to protect me as a father. Being fathered by Daniel Randerson means everything is tough love. I don't hate it at all. I love him to death but I just kinda hope he would want to share some of his problems with me, especially since we just have each other. 

I stand up and walk to a nearby store. This store is pretty old but I keep come back here to help the old lady who owns it. At first, I just help her taking things from the top shelf and then arrange his goods then at some points I became his grandson. I call her Ma. 

"Aish, who makes you like this? Those bastards better are sorry!" 

She trudged towards me. Her old age doesn't stop her from doing things she loves. I once told her to stop selling goods since the building structure is very concerning. She smacked my head and tell me that if she's going to die, she wants to die in her store. She is a stubborn old lady but a sweet one.

She wipes my body from disgusting fluids. She doesn't feel disgusted at all. She is that grandma people keep misunderstood. I can't help to smile seeing her concern for me like this.

"Hahaha, it's okay Ma. Can I use your bathroom instead?" I laughed while scratching my head.

"Aish just go go, I will prepare your change clothes." 

Before I could say something, she already moved to another room. This incident had happened for a while on multiple occasions that Ma have spare clothes for me in her house. In the bathroom, I also own a toothbrush and a towel. I really have become her grandson.

After a fresh bath, I look in the mirror and see a lot of scars on my body. Some coming from my past and some come from those rascals at school. They are smart enough to make scars in the non-visible part of my body. So whenever I wear clothes, these scars won't be seen. 

"Hey boy! Don't take too long lah! I'm starving I might die from starvation!"

She screamed from outside. Gah, that crazy old woman. I have told her hundreds of times to not prepare any food for me especially if her store has no customer yet. As I go out, the smell of grilled fish lingers in the air. She smiled at me. 

"Takes you too long. You don't jerk off in my bathroom, do you?"

"Ma! I-- no-- wh-- Gah! You cant say something like that!"

Despite her age, she always talks to me as if I was her age. One time she asks me about my non-existent girlfriend and forces me to hear her sex advice based on her youth. I need to cover my ears as she talks.

After eating and watch a TV quiz together I look at the clock, it's 8 p.m already. Dan might get home soon. I don't want him to worry.

"Ma, I think I need to go home soon." I gesture at the clock.

I can see her face falls.

"I will come again tomorrow, Ma."

Her face suddenly lit up. I guess it's true that as people grow older they will act younger. When I get up she suddenly asks for a hug. It's kind of unusual but I don't hate it, at all. I then say goodbye and left her.

Little did I know, that hug means something going to happen.

After school, I usually help the library to arrange books when new books come. I get some money doing this, it isn't much but I have been saving it for a while. I want to asks Ma to eat out in a nice restaurant around the blocks. She told me once that she was curious about that restaurant food because it is always full even though it's pretty expensive.

After finishing my shift in the library, I run out of the gate and go straight to her store.

"Ma! I'm here."

No answer. 

"Ma?"

I look inside and notice her goods are scattered around. My heart beating fast. Something must have happened. 

"Ma!?" 

I run outside to find a pool of blood on the floor. My heart beating faster, I find it hard to breathe. I suddenly stopped by the aunt who owns a drugstore across the street. 

"Where were you?! Ma is in the hospital right now. Some boys ransacked her store and beat her."

As soon as she said "boys" I know who did this. If they bullied me I still can tolerate it but coming at someone who closes to me is a fucking cowardly move. The blood inside me boiling. I run to their usual place near the school.

Three of them were there. I see David the leader laughing and smoking sitting above a crate. I walk towards and punch him.

"What do we have here? A son of a dead whore."

They are all laughing.

I punch him again until his bitches pull me up and holds me while he punches me. He gives me one punch, two, three punch. I see blood dripping from my mouth. It hurts.

"Is your whore granny also going to die now? Boohoo"

Those words just confirmed that he is the one who did it. I then kick him and swing those who hold me. Once he realized what just awaken inside me, David running towards our school. I know what is he doing, he wants protection under school names. I thought I could grab him but this roach moves way too fast.

"Hah... Hah... Hahaha, you couldn't touch me here right now. If you do you will get expelled." He said that while panting after a little ran we did.

Luckily for him, I don't care about it anymore. I take a step towards the gate. His face turns pale. He might never think I will go this far. He might also didn't even think about how powerful I am since I was always bullied by him.

I walk until standing in front of him. I can see his pathetic face. Disgusting. I grab his collar and beat him hard, inside the school in front of the gate. I keep punching his face again and again until my hand feels numb, all of the emotions I kept for a while have been exploding. I keep punching him until my arms suddenly feel heavy. When I snapped back, I realized P.E and Biology teachers had held my bloody hands. David laying there unconsciously, his face is full of blood. I didn't realize before when I punch him but now the sounds of students and teachers screaming are deafening.  I look at my hands one more time, I did this. I did beat David up. know this is going to be a big big trouble.

Not long after, David's parents arrive and want me to be expelled. They are all yelling and cursing me, I shut my mouth. Dan arrived with a panic expression. In my mind, he is going to slap me hard in front of the headmaster and parents of David. Instead, he hugs me.

"Are you okay!? What is going on?"

After what happened, he still supports me and believes that I won't do something like this without any explanation. I tried so hard to explain it without crying. I don't cry because I feel guilty towards David nor because I am afraid of what will happen to me. Ma is the only thing that's been on my mind.

"David... David hurts Ma... I... Can't just stand there acting dumb." I stutter as I told them what happened.

I tell them everything. Of course, they won't believe me and deny everything because of my past. I don't have any criminal records but news of my mother reaches some of these folks in Dan's neighborhood. Police believe she's one of the victims of the serial killer that lurking in the area.

From David's parents to school problems, it turns into a police matter. They filed the case against me. Amazingly, the school is pretty neutral they want to wait until my verdict before decide whether want to expel me or not. On the other hand, Ma still laying unconsciously. We cant get her statement nor body check because they need her permission or other family members. Sadly, Ma is completely alone for almost her whole life. Another way out is by autopsy but to do that they have to wait until Ma passed away. I... That way out is out of the list in my book.

Since that day I have been under police supervision. After two days I beg the police to visit Ma in the hospital. They let me come to visit her but I have to be accompanied by the police and Dan. As a respected officer, Dan's subordinates treat me nicely and even let me be alone in her room.

I sit next to Ma's bed. It's so weird seeing her sleeping like this. I see her wrinkles as if they are written proof of hardships she has been through. There's no sound but the beeping from the monitor. She has always been talkative, it feels so wrong.

"Ma, I might be imprisoned for beating those bastards. Please get healthy, Ma. I need your support." I talk to her as I hold her hand.

I might be hallucinating or my mind has been affected by emotions but I am sure at that time, after I talk to her, she squeezed my hands. I tried to squeeze back but she doesn't give any response anymore.

Not long after that, the police come to check on me and ask me to go home. I agree because I don't want to cause him any harm. As I walk outside I hear the sound of the monitor being static. The feel, the sounds, I won't get over it. I run inside as fast as I can and calling the nurse and doctor here and there.

"Ma! Don't! Please!" I cry like a baby.

I hold her lifeless hand begging for her to come back. I little bit feel like she did this on purpose to use her body to be autopsied. She must be wanted to prove that David and his friends did hurt her badly and me. Even at the end of her life, she still loves me.

In the trial, as you expected, I'm free to go and David got punished. His parents won't even say sorry to me. I guess his nature comes from his parents. He does go to jail but for underage ones. He still will be lurking in the street a few years from now. He maybe will come to me later but it is not something worth thinking of. With all of this occurrence, I get nothing out of it. I lose one of my best friends. And again this world cheats me.