Chapter IV, Second Chance

I thought life was easy, do my best and I will get what I deserve. But is it though? After I wake up, the first thing I notice is the smell of alcohol. Not the dink kind of alcohol, it’s more like when you step into a hospital.  I found myself laying inside a car with a lot of medical things inside. I see a paramedic beside me checking my pulse.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Ar…go?”

She nods tells me to rest. Wait, how am I ended up here? What did I do? I’m trying to remember. I was in the street and meet an officer then… I’m fully awake now I realize what is happening. I forced my body to stand up to face my reality. The medic tries to calm me down until a familiar voice speaks aloud.

“Let him be.”

I see Dan standing in front of the car, or back I suppose. He helped me down and brings me a warm tea. We sit on the sidewalk. I see people come and go from and to my place. Some wearing some sort of hazardous uniform, others wearing a vest, and some just wearing the police uniform. I stare at them as if I’m watching a movie, outside of the havoc that happened in front of my eyes. I still don’t know where my mother’s body is, if they haven’t taken it out yet they will bring it out anytime soon. As soon as I finished that sentence in my head, I see two guys carrying a human-size yellow bag out of that place. As I’m staring at it, Dan moved and stands in front of me.

“How are your feelings?”

“I don’t know.”

I don’t know a lot of things but I do know Dan standing in front of me to cover and distract me from seeing my mom’s body carried out. I am not going to lie, his gesture is well-intended it's just I feel like I need to see it. This trauma will make me more determined to find the culprit. Alas, I don't hate his gesture at all. He’s like a father I never had even though we just spent a day together. I can't help but look down, hiding my face from ashamed of what I just wished for a split second.

 He pats my shoulder. It’s some sort of magic, I could feel all his emotions through the warmth of his hand. Maybe I’m just imagining things but I could feel he’s trying to give a signal for me to be vulnerable and share my sorrow with him. I bet the sympathetic gesture indicates he knows all the shit I’ve been through. To be honest, I don’t want him to think I'm weak and then look down on me, I am strong. I look up to face him to found that he looks up. I could see his complex expression, he smiles but he looks sad. He looks at the sky as if he’s searching for an answer. I just know the dusk today hits different.

After everything wrapped up, Dan and his colleagues bring me to the station for questions. None of them treat me nicely but Dan. This is the price I got from being poor, I bet some of them put their suspicion on me. Yet from their gesture, I know that Dan’s status is pretty superior in this place. They respect Dan and always do what he is told. They then bring me to a room with a big mirror. I know behind that mirror some people standing and watching me. There’s a camera in the corner of the room. Are they accusing me?  When I’m busy wondering, a man and a woman come in. They bring files and asking me questions regarding my mother’s death.

I told them I was working all day that day but none of my neighbors nor co-workers want to confirm that. My neighborhood is not a good one, most of them are or were criminals, Drug dealers, Hitman, drug addict, arsonist, etc. so no wonder they don’t want to have anything to do with the police. We just lived with the ‘you do you’ motto. They also asked me how long have I been on the street. I guess I’ve been three to four days on foot. After saying thank you they asking me to wait in a room.

I smell coffee inside a room with a lot of wood ornaments. A classic piece of Bach played through a radio. I bet someone who owns this room has a pretty good status. Suddenly I heard a loud voice, Dan’s voice arguing with someone. The officer behind me urging me to go into that room. I guess he doesn’t want me to know what is it about. After the officer left me alone in it, I give in to my curiosity. I walk around the room, I see a photo of a woman I recognize on the desk. I couldn’t think about it until he comes in.

“How’s the questioning?  You feel alright?”

I see Dan standing in the frame of the big wooden door, he looks like a mess. His hair is as messed up as his face. With his big voice and big, tall body I would feel intimidated by him. Luckily, I know who he really is. Despite that look, he still greeted me smiling as if telling me he’s okay but I know he’s not.

“It’s good. So, what is gonna happen to me now?”

His facial expression suddenly changes, I see his brows frowning. He’s looking for the right words to say. He tells me to sit down and he sits in front of me. I don’t know what to think but I know whatever comes out of his mouth won’t be something worse than what I have been through. He looks at me seriously.

“Argo, even though you are fifteen, you are still underage and still need a guardian. I’ve contacted your other family members but let’s just say they can’t take care of you because well…  they…”

“No. I get it. None of them wants anything to do with me and my mom anyway.”

It does hurt but it is what it is. They have hated me since forever because of my mother. My mother often comes to their places and asking for money for drugs or drinks. At first, some still sympathetic and give her some changes but after a while, they felt she’s getting annoying. Most of the time, we kicked out and shooed as if we were some kind of pests. Some had tried to help her by putting her in rehab and things like that but in the end, she’s still going back to her old habit. I guess she didn’t have any motivation to stop, not even me as her son can stop her. Well… that is why I couldn’t blame them anyway maybe they think I’m a bad influence, a bad seed that needs to be thrown off anyway.

“Due to that circumstance, I give you two options, first a social worker will take you to a place and you will wait until someone adopts you or you can free to go when you are eighteen…”

“So basically an orphanage, and the second option?”

“Err… yes… and the second option, you talk to the social worker and said you agree to become my son. I- I- mean you don’t have to call me dad or anything or I don’t know if you don’t feel comfortable you can think of me as your guardian or… you can reject this option. God, I suck at this.”

I look at him in awe. I believe this is the first time in my life someone really genuinely cares and wants me. I feel hard to breathe, I clutch my clothes. Without I know it my tears running down my face. I can’t stop crying so I just look down. My body feels weak. I, a fifteen years old teenager at that time crying as if I was reborn into this world. All I can feel is a burden has been taken away from me by his warm hug.

After the agreement, he takes me to meet a social worker. I can’t understand and what she’s talking about even though she speaks English. All I could think about is I’m going to have a father and better, fathered by Dan.  It takes a few days until the contract is official. Meanwhile, Dan getting so busy to take me for courses so I could take the test. He wants me to be educated. I have never been this happy to learn new things. Well… some are fun but some just make me want to punch a wall. I am homeschooled. I guess Dan wants to avoid the probability of me being bullied by my classmate, especially because I will suddenly be transferred in 9^th grade.

It is hard but I could handle it. I hope next year, I’m going to enroll in Dan’s old High School, High Hopes High School. I guess my goal now is to follow Dan’s path so I could also investigate my mother’s death.

My mother’s case ended up forgotten because of a lack of proof and suspects. It is still frozen but I guess they won’t investigate it any further. It’s no longer a secret that a person like my mother and I will be counted as good riddance if dead or lost. They suspected that my mother was killed by her drug dealer, a rapist, psychopath who passed by, anything. Yet they can’t point their finger at anyone in this circumstance because all of the people in my neighborhood have criminal records and it would be in chaos if they arrested the wrong ones.