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19. Confess Your Hidden Feelings
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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Can you turn around and walk like a normal person?” I ask my good but spontaneous friend Nicki. I don’t know what makes her think walking backwards in a crowded hallway is a wise idea.
It’s not.
She ignores my suggestion and swirls the brush in her hand on the pallet she’s carrying. “Were there any hot guys there?”
“I was busy crapping myself over Math, does it seem like my eyes had the chance to slut around?” I deadpan.
She points at me with the brush, and I watch in horror as blue paint splatters over my white shirt. “You, my dear friend, are no fun,” she declares.
“What the fuck, Nicole?” I wail, looking down at my shirt.
No.
Please no.
It has blue dots all over it, and a particularly large misshapen one right on my chest.
Her eyes widen in realization of what
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Knowing Jude 21. Much More Interesting than Math
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Knowing Jude 22. Not Alone
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Knowing Jude 23. Oh, So That's Her
I admit, the first thought to cross my mind is to leave.Then Jax lets out a broken sob and my heart squeezes behind my ribs.I imagine Angeline hovering somewhere around, watching us. It’s something I do a lot, and I know it might sound stupid or creepy but I can’t seem to be able to control it. I have always been paranoid, so I always imagine she’s in my room, or in class where we would sit together, and half of the time I would almost believe that she’s going to show up.It sounds messed up, and I’m sure if Dad knew the sort of thoughts I have he would most probably make me have sessions with one of his colleagues or something like that.I can’t push the thoughts out though, because every time I think of her it always ends up in the lines of what if she’s here? What would she do? What would she say? What did she use to do, say, et cetera?
Knowing Jude 24. Ditched
"Sam! Sammy! Samuel! Get back here you little..."I stand in the front doorway for a second, surprised as to why Nicki's loud voice is booming throughout my house, and what exactly is going on between her and my brother. I knew she was going to show up with Simon, but I didn't think they were going to show up this early.I take off my shoes and walk into the living room.Nicki and Sam are going circles around one of the couches, with Nicki trying to get hold of him. Paces away another little boy is sitting, quiet but with a grin on his face as he watches the two."Hi, Liam," I call out, waving and smiling at him.He waves back, a shy smile on his face. He is usually quiet when in people's company, but you wouldn't recognise him when he is with Sam. He might be sitting there right now all innocent and silent, but wait until Sam gets tired of bothering Nicki and they get together.I probably shouldn't refer to them as a duo from hell sin
Knowing Jude 25. I Want More
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Knowing Jude 26. Need to Be Needed
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Knowing Jude 27. A House is Not a Home
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Knowing Jude 59. Obsessed
"I need you to stay away from Jude." I stare at my father across his study desk and wonder whether I heard him right. "What?" I ask. When he called me to his study, I didn't think my boyfriend was going to be the topic of discussion. Maybe my plans now that high school is behind me and I have several months before leaving for university, but not this. Dad clasps his hands on top of his desk and leans toward me. "I'm his doctor, and I'm your father. I have both of your best interests at heart. He's like a son to me. And right now what's best for him is that he stays away from you." I press a finger to my temple. "We are not doing anything wrong, if that's what you're worried about," I say, my gaze fleeting to the ceiling. "And I don't want to stay away from him, he's my boyfriend!" He nods. "I know." I look back at him. "I love him, I can't just stay away from him." "Jude's not well--" "He's fine! His wound healed
Knowing Jude 58. Do You Love Me?
'Don't get mad.' I stare at the text on my phone, and I can guess what else Jude is currently typing. Here it comes... 'I'm outside your window. ' Of course. I drop my phone and crawl out of bed. I pad to my window and pull the curtains apart. Jude smiles at me from the other side, as if he's aware that the little expression is enough to thaw me any time. I try to look as pissed off as possible as I unlatch the window and push it open. Jude climbs in. He shuts it behind him then turns to me, smile still in place. "I couldn't--" "Stay away," I complete the sentence for him. I've heard it almost a hundred times in the past month, half that time with him crawling through my window. He grins, then pecks my lips. "I missed you." I sigh and turn away, going back to my bed. I don't get there though since two strong arms come around me from behind. "Please don't be mad at me," he pleads.
Knowing Jude 57. Kiss Her Senseless
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Knowing Jude 56. You're Everything to Me
I can't stop pacing in my room, already regretting my decision to leave without checking on Jude.I should have stayed, even if only to make sure he was okay. Someone doesn't just lock himself up in a bathroom while not taking a shower for that many minutes if he's alright.Why did he get so mad?I refuse to acknowledge the voice that keeps telling me that he got frustrated because he couldn't get what he wanted all along.He said I rejected him. Did he really mean it? Did he really want to ask me out? Me, as his girlfriend? Girlfriend?Knowing that sleep will be a hard thing to get without knowing that he's at least okay, I dial Cole's number. It rings through the first time without a reply, but I hit the dial again. I know it's late, half past eleven, but this is Cole and the chances are he's awake.It almost stops ringing the second time round when it's picked up and a drunken feminine voice responds."Who are you, why are yo
Knowing Jude 55. Rejected
My phone rings at a quarter before midnight and to be honest, I’m not surprised. It has become a routine for Jude to call me at insane hours of the night, and to talk about what? “I can’t wait for tomorrow,” he says now when I pick up. I smile at the sound of his voice. In a span of several weeks, it’s gradually managed to become my favourite sound. “Why?” I ask, rolling onto my back. I can’t remember there being any special occasion for tomorrow. “So that I can see you,” Jude responds. “And?” “There’s an and?” “I mean, of course you’ll see me tomorrow, we have school.” “Does that mean I can’t miss you?” I let out a small laugh. “You’re kidding, we were just together like, four hours ago?” “You’re not here with me right now, are you?” I refrain from making an audible ‘awww’ sound because I still can’t believe he’s actually saying this to me. I mean, I know by now that he does appreciate my company, but he’s sounding like we’re in a relationship or something, and we’re not.
Knowing Jude 54. Is It Wrong?
My bright Monday morning is ruined when I spot Bethany standing next to Jude’s locker, clearly waiting on him. The smile that has been plastered on my face all morning drops instantly.Apparently, all it takes to demolish the castles I’ve been building all weekend is a single sighting of Jude’s extremely gorgeous ex girlfriend.Gorgeous and clingy.That sounds better.It shouldn’t even bother me since he said there’s nothing between them, right?I hurry up so that I can get out of here before I witness something that might ruin my day. In the name of Jude appearing and flirting with her like he has been doing of late. I cast one last look towards his locker…And almost drop my bag to the floor.My mouth goes dry when I see Jude coming towards me. My eyes dart behind him to his locker, where Bethany sti
Knowing Jude 53. Addicted
"Wake up.” Shake. “Get up.” I press the pillow to my face and wish the voice away. What sort of human being disturbs perfect morning slumber? “It’s nine already, Jo.” “What?” I yell and fly up, shoving the pillow away. It’s not that late, is it? Jude is standing beside the bed, regarding me with an amused smile. He looks put together, like he woke up a long time ago. “Shit.” I hop out of bed. “I need to go home.” The last of that sentence finds me at the bathroom door. I get in quickly, do a quick clean up and put on my dress. When I get back to the room, Jude is sitting on the bed. He quirks his brow. “What’s the hurry for?” I give him a look of disbelief. “I don’t want to get into any trouble!” “Your parents already left for work by now, right?” I nod.
Knowing Jude 52. Friends With Benefits
“Nothing different,” Jude persuades, pulling me into the room, walking backwards towards the bed. “Still a bedroom and still just you and me.”Yes, but before we hadn’t kissed, had we?His bed is a large white affair, and a part of me just wants to jump on it and cuddle in his bedding. He has a lot of pillows and my mind can’t help forming images of him asleep, blond hair fanned out on a pillow, pink lips in a pout…I break out of my thoughts when he sits me on the edge of the bed. He steps back and gives me an assessing look.“You on my bed. Beautiful picture, just one little detail we need to take care of.”I lift an eyebrow. “Yeah?”He points at Cole’s jacket. “Can you please get rid of Cole’s jacket?”I wrap my arms around myself, wanting to tea
Knowing Jude 51. Let's Get to Bed
Jude picks up the phone on the first ring, to my relief.“Look who’s calling me,” he says, amused.I manage a smile past the tears that won’t stop streaming down my face. I take in a deep breath and try to keep my voice even.“Hey Jude. I need a favour.”I fail terribly, sounding as if I have grains of sand stuck in my throat. My body shivers, a fresh sob threatening to surface.“Jo? Are you okay?” Jude’s voice drops the playfulness, becoming urgent.I suck in another breath. “No, I… Can you pick me up please?”“Of course,” he responds without missing a beat. “Where’re you?”“You know Ana Grace right? Do you know her place?”“Yes, yes I do, is that where you are?”
