I cannot kill her

My lips wouldn’t stop shivering whenever I recalled our kiss. I never expected a simple kiss would take me to the edge and raise millions of emotions, which I could not name. Although the moment was magical, I felt a little awkward. I didn’t give him the chance to speak after our kiss. I simply ran away.

Only after I reached my home, I realized how embarrassing it was to run away. If we had been in a sweet relationship, the level of my awkwardness might have not been the same. It was because of my mixed feelings about him and the kiss happened so suddenly.

Shouldn’t I have kissed him? Did I stop hating him, if yes, from when? He killed someone, I could not do it.

It was as if any other person living inside me, which was always contradicting my actions and was making me overthink everything. A part of me kept convincing myself I was doing right but I was unable to accept it easily, however, I and my other self already knew I developed strong feelings for him.

I took my cell phone to te