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~02-I Love My Mom~
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2021-04-09 06:39:28"She was grieving, Danny"
"Think about it, if you did this just for your mom, you could've asked to be the smartest kid in school or have psychic powers or something more normal but you are crazy, Danielle Sanchez. Crazy is you. You and Crazy are one"
"Cherish your mom while you still have her, Danny"
Beth's words keep ringing in my head.
"You could've asked to be the smartest kid in school"
I groan
Why won't Beth's words leave my head?
I grab my boxing gloves
*Punch Punch Punch*
"She was grieving, Danny"
Yes, she was
*Punch Punch Punch*
"You could've asked to be the smartest kid in school"
Yes, I could've
*Punch Punch*
"Or something more normal"
But I've never been normal
*Punch*
"You and crazy are one"
That is true
"Cherish your mom while you still have her, Danny"
She doesn't cherish me though
*Punch Punch Punch Punch*
"While you still have her"
"While you still have her"
Maybe Beth's right.
Mom's here right now but maybe someday, she won't be...and then all I'll have are regrets and thoughts of the many things I could've done with her.
I've denied this as much as I could for so long already but I LOVE MY MOM and I'm ready to embrace that fact now.
Taking off my gloves, I down a whole bottle of water and head out of my room.
The lights are off. Must be late.
I fish out my phone from my back pocket.
The screen flashes 00:37.
I know for a fact that mom never sleeps before 2am.
"Mom?" I call
No answer
"Mom?" I call even louder
"Go to bed, Danielle" she scolded and I roll my eyes
Typical mom.
"We need to talk, mom" I say, standing in front of her room door.
It feels weird, I haven't done this in years.
"Danielle, there are normal hours to talk, you know?" She says but I could hear the smile in her voice.
"Normal isn't Sanchez" I grin as I walk into her room without knocking.
"That is true" she grinned right back.
"I miss you" I whisper
"Oh, baby, you don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that" she smiled happily as tears escaped her eyes.
She got up from her work chair and I ran into her arms like a little child.
"You can't imagine how much I've missed you, Shorty" she whispered in my hair.
"You're still not allowed to call me that" I scold and she nods playfully
"Of course"
"I'm sorry, mom. I've been a terrible daughter...I'm sorry for the disrespect....for everything" I sob, pulling away
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shit you out while I was trying to deal with my own pain" she wiped my tears while shedding more of her own.
"Yes, you shouldn't. It was our pain, we could have faced it together" I say honestly
"Yes, I'm sorry, honey" she cupped my cheek and I nodded
"It really hurts that I wasn't there for you. When you started growing boobs.When you had your first period.When you...are you still a virgin¿?"
"Jeez, yes, mom, I'm a virgin..you haven't missed it all yet" I giggle
"I wish your dad was here to see just how much our little shorty has grown" she whispered "I miss him so much"
"I'm not that short anymore, mom" I whined
"I noticed" she giggled "But you'll never stop being my little Shorty"
"I don't ever want to stop being your shorty"
"Your dad would've been so proud of you" she sighs
"I miss dad too, you can't imagine how much but we can't keep getting sad every time we remember him...he wouldn't like that"
"You're right, Danny"
"He might be gone but we still have his memories...we'll always have his memories. So, we can always look back and smile, laugh even but not cry or get sad"
"We'll always have his memories" she acquiesces "You know, I'm glad your dad kept telling you wise things while you were young"
"And you kept telling him to stop" I recall
"In my defence, I thought you were too young to understand... Now I know better"
"I'm glad he did too...if he didn't do it then, he probably would never have gotten the chance to"
"He was the strength of our family" she admits
"Yes, he was. That's why when he left, it took us 10 whole years to get through his loss"
"Can we ever fully move on¿ Can you ever forget?" Her face falls
"People don't stay together because they forget..." I begin to quote one of dad's many sayings and wait for her to complete it.
"...they stay together because they forgive" she smiles "my little girl's all grown up now"
"I love you mom" I confess and pull her into another hug.
"I love you more, baby"
"You sleepy¿" I ask, pulling away
"Uh.." She trails off, looking back at the documents on her table before responding "nope"
"Oh..got work to do?" I mutter
"Nothing that can't wait" she smiles and I beam right back.
"How about a movie?"
"I'll get popcorn" she responds
"I'll pick the movie" I say and sprint down the hall to my room.
~∆~
We end up watching Bad Boys For Life. It was comedy and action in one-seemed like the best choice for a mother-daughter movie night.
We try to make Pizza afterward. We made a big, disastrous mess of the kitchen but on the bright side...our pizza tasted better than any either of us has ever had.
Took us a whole lot of time to get the kitchen clean again which meant a whole lot of time to bond.
Mom's met someone new.
Bob, I think.
She says he just got transferred to her office branch. He's hot and he's got a thing for her.
I don't know if I'm ready for her to move on with someone new yet but I don't say anything.
If this is what she wants, I'm not gonna keep her from it.
I'm just glad I got my mom back.
We went to bed together-I mean I coddled with her in bed until she fell asleep then I got up, sat on the chair and just watched her sleep.
Recalling old times and just smiling to myself.
I don't know how I survived without mom for such a long time but now I can't imagine a life without her.
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