Chapter 1

Lena

What I liked about this gym when I first came here was that it was close to work, and it was quiet. I never liked big crowds, so I avoided places with lots of people.

I avoided conversations with people as well, so I guessed I could be a little agoraphobic. Or maybe I was just fine. Being cautious never hurt anyone.

As I walked inside, the woman at the front desk smiled widely at me. She always does that, not just to me but to everyone. It was her job to do so, and she was good at it and so pretty.

I could never land a job like that because I wasn't as attractive as her. Physical appearance mattered around here. I wasn't a monster, but I wasn't an I*******m model either.

I paid ten euros to allow me access to the showers and I walked through the weights area towards my destination. On my way there, I was astonished to realize that there were a few handsome guys working out.

Usually, most guys around here are too bulky for my taste. I prefer a lean muscular guy and not the Hulk. I dislike seeing those arm veins pop out so intensely and when their arms are twice the size of my head. Not sexy to me, unless you are the Rock!

And yet, I was just looking around and I had no intention whatsoever of talking to anyone around here ever. Too shy, too cowardly, too low self-esteem... or all of the above.

In my story though, The Rush, my main male character was like that... like the one I was looking at doing push-ups with such ease. Damn, those arms.

I kindly reminded myself not to look intensely at his moving muscles under his red sleeveless T-shirt and tight black shorts... it wasn't polite.

I haven't been with a man romantically involved in too long...

I chuckled with my own thoughts, as I was having an inner conversation with myself again. I mainly have no one else to talk to about those things. Sad but kind of funny, if you think about it more positively.

Perspective is important.

A guy on the treadmill looked at me puzzled.

"Sorry, I wasn't laughing at you" I politely said, but he ignored me. Sometimes I get so focused on my thoughts, that I forget I live among people.

I slowed down my pace, just to look at a guy that was walking in front of me. He had so many tattoos, I couldn't look elsewhere. Nice work!

The main character of my story had a similar style to him. Same hair... same body type... height... and he was very handsome. He could be a great cover for my book, no?

Could I ask him?

Should I dare?

Could I ever talk to a guy like that?

I lacked experience with men. I have dated only two in my life and both of them were the same. They felt the same. They did the same things, they liked the same things, they talked to me in the same way and in bed... guess what? They were no different, the same monotonous movement in and out.

Even though a book cover was not a romantic thing, why was I such a damn coward?

He passed me by and went on with his workout routine on a piece of equipment that tones some muscles...

I kept walking to my destination because if I decided to talk to him, I would never do it while smelling like burned oil, sweat, and many other weird odors.

Right before I enter the showers,  I took a glimpse of another guy working out on a piece of equipment. I  stood for a few seconds looking at him. He had light brown hair and was wearing a black sleeveless T-shirt and black working-out pants.

What was wrong with me? Looking at people like a creep!

Move on, Lena! I yelled to myself silently.

I entered the bathroom, and first I took a look at myself in the big mirror on the wall. My straight dark brown hair seemed oily, and my hazel eyes looked tired. My cheekbones were sharper than they should be. My breasts became smaller than they were a few months ago. I need to take better care of myself. I need to eat quality meals and not just a burger and a granola bar a day.

I didn't like what I saw, but it was fixable. At least I still liked the tattoo on my lower arm. I had that three years ago and it was the solar system with all the planets lined up. I didn't pay for it; it was a gift from my ex-boyfriend. He did one thing right!

I allowed the hot water and the coconut shampoo to transport me into another world. I always liked daydreaming. Fantasizing about different worlds, characters, and dialogues. In the shower, I always get my best ideas.

I cleaned myself up and changed my clothes, to a plain black T-shirt and some shorts. Luckily the sink was quite large, and I tried to clean my black sneakers. Some woman looked at me confused. I ignored her and finished what I was doing.

I wore my last clean pair of socks and dried my hair with the gym's hairdryer. I put my leather armbands back on my wrist and I instantly felt presentable.

I felt I was more confident to at least consider trying to talk to the guy about maybe posing for my book cover. It would be more personal than buying a lifeless photo online, right?

I took my sweet time doing all that and when I got out of the bathroom, the guy was gone. I searched the gym for a few minutes and couldn't find him anywhere. I couldn't just wander around needlessly. So, I decided to give up on this crazy idea, for my standards, and move on with my day.

At the front desk, there was still that beautiful receptionist flirting with one of the guys I saw before. Guy number two.

She seemed to be all over him, and he didn't seem that amused. This woman's rack was huge, he must be blind!

I walked by them and instantly got myself into the trap of his scent. He smelled incredible. I lost my pace for a moment there and quickly shook my head and walked outside.

I was always a sucked for good-smelling men.

His cologne followed behind me until we both were outside.

I would do it.

I would ask.

I felt so nervous.

He would think I was crazy, and maybe I was just a little bit.

I stopped and turned behind me to look at his face.

I was exceeding my own expectations with human interaction. I was never that bold!

He was so tall and looked tough; he would be great for my cover, I kept saying to myself.

A few leather bands were hanging from his wrist, and I bet his favorite color was black because he was in full-on black attire, even his gym bag, and shoes. He even resembled James, my main character. Same light brown hair and unfortunately, I couldn't see his eyes, or I didn't dare to do so.

I took a deep breath, ignoring my sexual upheaval or my nervousness, and smiled while approaching him.

"Hello," I cheerfully greeted him while trying to keep a steady voice.

What was I doing? My doubts started to concur my mind, but it was too late now.

He didn't even look at me. It was like he didn't even notice a person standing next to him. Rude! Sexual upheaval and nervousness were immediately gone.

"Excuse me," I insisted, a little louder this time, but had the same result. He kept walking to his merry way. How dared he?

And then I noticed those damn earplugs.

I quickly walked closer to him and lightly touched his toned bicep and he instantly turned to face me. He looked confused, or how dare I touched him way...

He took his earplugs off and stood there just looking at me puzzled.

Nervousness was back on.

"I'm sorry to bother you. Can I speak to you for a moment?" I politely asked and took a step back, to remove myself from his personal space. 

He nodded yes, but he looked suspicious. He was checking me out from head to toe like I was going to transform into a ninja and rob him or something.

"I'm sorry if this seems weird. My name is Lena, and I was wondering if you are interested in a very small modeling job?"

Did I just say that? Yes, I fucking did!

I felt so out of place. I instantly regretted the whole plan, but again it was too late.

He kept looking at me curiously with those sexy green eyes. Gorgeous lips pressed on a straight line. His eyebrows lowered. For crying out loud, he was even more handsome up close.

His condescending snort made me lose my words. He turned and continued walking to wherever the hell he wanted to go.

That pissed me off a bit and I followed him.

I should check those mood swings...

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to sound creepy, but I did" he stopped and looked at me again, but this time it seemed like I was just some funny video on YouTube he was about to watch.

"Just hear me out. I only want to take a picture of you for my book cover. I'm a writer...or I just want to be one. I'm not searching for new members for my cult" I smiled awkwardly, and he smirked "I would like to just take a picture of you with no shirt, if possible. It sounds weird when I say it, but the offer is legit. And I'll pay you for it. What do you say? Do you want to talk about it any further?" I finished my sentence trying to appear confident, when in fact I was really not.

"I'm not trying to flirt with you, I swear" I added with a nervous laugh.

He looked like he had too many reasons to reject me. Damn it, at least I tried. It wasn't easy, my heart was pounding like crazy.

"I see" I exhaled with frustration after I didn't know how long we've been staring at each other in silence.

Didn't he have a voice? Was he mute?

"It could be the next Fifty Shades of Grey for all I know" I added humorously, and I took another step back before he punched me in the face or laughed at me.

The humiliation was enough for today.

He snorted again, but this time he gave me a faint smile.

"That big of a success, hah? So, you write porn?" he finally decided to speak.

His voice was sexy too. It had a husky tone that made my heart skip a beat.

"I wouldn't say porn per se... it has some drama elements, and the story is..." I smiled nervously and my hopes were getting up high, because I had the sense that he was thinking about it, or maybe not.

"But yeah, it's porn" I laughed, and he smirked again "I just need a shirtless photo, it's superficial, but it's also nice to look at" I pointed in the desired direction, his abs "A sexy book cover would make my story more appealing to the readers. You don't have to show face if you don't want to" I improvised the whole photoshoot concept because I didn't really think about it that much, the only thing that mattered before I opened my mouth was to find the courage to speak.

"Because the face doesn't match your desirable goal?" he playfully replied, turning the atmosphere into something more comfortable, and dared I say flirty?

I blushed and damned it, it showed.

"On the contrary, if you want to show face it's even better. I was trying to protect your privacy. Whoever reads my story, will see your picture there. They might try to find you. Do you want stalkers?" I used humor as a defense mechanism, as I always did in my life.

He only smirked. I liked that; it was his thing.

"Look, just think about it. Here is my number" I ripped a small piece of paper from my journal in my bag and wrote my number on it with my pen. I gave it to him, and he gave me that sexy half-smile again.

He was so damn hot; my mind was in desperate need of adjustment. The most important reason why handsome men are intimidating is that they mess up your brain just because they are good-looking.

He unwillingly took my number and looked at me like he was about to burst into laughter. My phone number would be thrown into a trash bin for sure.

"Who does that?" he pointed at the piece of paper, still having the same smile on his face. It suited him so damn much.

"Not everything in life has to be in digital form. Have a nice day" I almost whispered and left immediately.

I humiliated myself enough for today.

It was a very stupid and impulsive plan.

I overstepped my boundaries in social interactions.

I would never do that again.

But at least he was just a stranger that I would never see again. Because I would never step foot in this gym ever again!