I felt a tingle of both happiness and melancholy. I knew that she was well-loved and cared for here, and that she was the source of sunshine in this family. There was a part of me that felt jealous—that Lucas and the kids had her, and that she had them. However, above all these feelings, guilt was the strongest. In the past four months that I’ve been watching this family I have never seen them as happy as I have seen them today. I shouldn’t be the one putting a smile on their faces. It should be her.
Thoughts flew in my head imagining her gracefully walking down the corridors in a white dress that always looked so good on her, complimenting her blue eyes and fair complexion; the epitome of immaculate beauty. I imagine the way she would smile at her husband so tenderly and how he would hold her gently in his arms like the fragile little dove that she was. I imagine the way her children would come running to her at every chance they got. They were a perfect family.
It’s cruel how fate decides to tear apart something so pure, so innocent. Her final days came like a sudden hurricane, destroying everything in its path.
Tears fell down my eyes as I was drifting off to sleep. I wished that when I woke up tomorrow morning I would be back in my London apartment, while she remained here happy and alive.
Why did you have to go?
—————————————
I woke up the next morning at six. My head hurt from crying myself to sleep the night before. I think that was the first time I cried again after her funeral. I got up from bed, got dressed, and went directly to the kitchen. I saw Lucas on the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea while reading today’s newspaper. His face was serious with a hint of uneasiness, like he wanted to focus on the paper in front of him, yet his mind was drifting somewhere else.
“You’re up early.” I greeted.
Lucas caught my eyes and smiled. “I could say the same to you.” Lucas responded. I stared at him for a few moments. He was wearing a white shirt crumpled from sleeping or the lack thereof and his black hair was dishevelled. “The children don’t usually wake up before nine.” He added. Lucas then gestured for me to sit on the table with him and offered me a cup of tea. I gladly accepted it and took a sip before sitting on the chair across of him.
Chamomile. This was her favourite. “Could you pass the honey?” I requested. Lucas then handed me the honey and I added two spoonful’s into my tea. I heard Lucas smirk slightly and tried to suppress a laugh. Gosh his smile is so beautiful.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“It’s nothing, sorry.” His face softened.
“Come on, tell me. Is there something on my face?” I want to know how to make you smile more.
“Don’t mind me. It’s just me and my silly thoughts…” He trailed off a bit before responding to my question. “My wife used to add the same amount of honey in her tea. Seeing you do the same made me feel happy for a moment.”
I saw Lucas’ eyes tear up, but he quickly wiped the droplets away in the guise of running his hand through his hair. “Every time I see, hear, or smell things that remind me of her, the empty feelings in my heart fades for a while, but then I feel miserable afterwards when I realize she’s never coming back.”
I continued sipping my cup of tea. I did not know what to say. How would I make him smile, when the one think that makes him happy is the same exact thing that brings him sadness?
After Lucas’ confession, the kitchen was filled with an agonizing silence that neither of us wanted to break. I allowed Lucas to get a hold of himself and waited until he spoke.
“By the way, you’ll be having Saturday’s off to do whatever you want as long as you stay in the mansion grounds. Since today is a Saturday I think it would be good for you to familiarize yourself with the place and get to know some of the servants here.” He started. “Despite being quite a big place, there are only a few people living here, so they must already know who you are. I’ll look after the children today.”
“Thanks.” I replied, still feeling a bit awkward from the previous silence.
After drinking tea, I quietly excused myself and started making breakfast for the Dawson family. Gavin arrived on the table just as I was setting up and Lucas fetched Ana from her room. We all had breakfast together: fried eggs, sausages, bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, and some mashed potatoes. After finishing up, Lucas took the children with him. I, on the other hand, decided to familiarize myself with the mansion just as Lucas suggested.
I was idly walking in the garden adoring the different flowers and minding my own business, when a woman came over to greet me. She looked about my age give or take a few years. She was a few inches taller than I was, had lively brown eyes, and brown hair that was tied neatly into a bun. She was wearing a black dress with white trim that fell just below her knees and a white apron with lace.“You must be the little masters’ new bodyguard.” She greeted with a big smile. “My name is Katarina, I am the head-maid here.”“The name’s Jaimie. Yes. I am the new bodyguard of Ana and Gavin.” I responded.Katarina looked at me from head-to-toe. “You’re so pretty. I expected the new bodyguard to be—”“Taller?”“Muscular.” She said matter-of-factly. “But yes, now that you mentioned it, I&rsqu
Raindrops fell from the dark gloomy sky as if crying for a fallen angel. Her funeral was full of tears. She was well loved by many. People wept, wailed, and screamed. She was gone too soon, too early. I scanned through the crowd and saw unfamiliar faces drenched in misery; except for one— jet-black hair and eyes of silver-grey stared blankly as her coffin was slowly lowered down six feet underground. I watched him closely. He did not shed a tear, but I knew that he was a walking corpse bound to self-destruct. He had small wounds on his lips from biting down on them. He had scratch marks on his palms from clenching his fists too hard. His breathing was shallow. His eyes were blank. When she passed away, he died with heart. I wish it had been me lying in that casket. Maybe then those beautiful eyes wouldn’t be so sad. As if he could read my mind, the man I was watching darted his ey
"Sir, we need to take the children to the hospital to get them checked-up." said one of the paramedics. The man who was intently gazing at me snapped out of what seemed to be a trance and turned towards the other direction to speak with the medical staff. I took that as an opportunity to leave and get some fresh air outside the clock tower. My adrenaline was fading and I felt the hunger pains in my stomach. I climbed down the Big Ben and was welcomed the people in my team.“Job well done!” I heard Sir Lincoln, our director, say as he patted me firmly on the back. “You finally gave that bastard the justice he deserved. He will now rot in whatever hellhole he came from.” He then offered me a ride home, but I politely refused. I knew that my place was out of the way from the agency and I prefer to be alone for a while. I just asked if I can borrow the car I came to the scene with.“You do realize that you tec
My alarm set-off at 7:00am. Crap, I fell asleep staring at the ceiling. I even had the weirdest dream… Staring at the ceiling. Well whatever. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. I went down to get my car at around 7:30am when I saw that there were two cars parked in front of my apartment building. One of them was a black sedan and the other was a Limo.Lucas got out of the driver’s seat of the Limousine. Seeing him in broad daylight made me realize that he was indeed a very handsome man, around 6’4, I guess. He could get any woman he wanted with his looks alone, much more so with all his money. But instead he chose to drown himself in misery and mourn for the death of his wife. She was such a lucky girl to have had a husband like him, other men would have just moved on. I’ve seen that happen a lot in my line of work. You can’t imagine how many husbands were responsible for their wives ‘suicide&rsqu
My eyes flew open. I frantically looked around. Lucas beeped his horn and rolled the car into the entrance of a big estate. Where the hell are we? We were definitely NOT in London anymore. I checked my watch. It was 10:45am."Welcome to your new home." Lucas said, as if to answer my question. "This is a family estate we use for summer vacations, but with what happened in the city, I decided that the kids and I should settle here permanently instead.""When you said house, I was expecting an actual house not a mansion." I exclaimed."Don't you like it?" he asked. I heard the hurt in his voice. Shit."No, I do. It’s wonderful. It's just that... I might get lost. I'm not used to such big places." I responded timidly.Lucas' face brightened up like a child who was given candy for the very first time. "Well I'll give you a tour then! C'mon,
Lucas showed me all the different places in the mansion— the ballroom where they held their parties, the music room filled with all kinds of instruments, and the kitchen where I would be working. The pantry was fully stacked. There were fresh fruits and vegetables of every kind in the counter. Oh! For the love of spices, herbs, and condiments, I can make so many delicious meals from these! I gleamed with excitement. I wasn't the best cook, but I do know how to make a hearty meal when given the proper ingredients."All of the fruit, vegetables, and spices are grown in our farm just a few miles from here." Lucas said."I thought you owned an oil company?" I asked. Just how many businesses does this man have?"I do. But we also own a farm. My parents also have a shipping company that I help manage. My wife used to help out on her parent's pharmaceutical business, but now that she's gone, I have to
When we got to the kitchen, I served the kids some appetizer sandwiches while I made them dinner. I baked us up a large chicken glazed with some honey and herbs like basil, rosemary, and thyme with a side dish of mashed potatoes and gravy made from some flour and the chicken's natural oils.Lucas arrived just in time for dinner and ate with us. “How’s the food?” I asked “I do hope it is to your liking.” I asked.“It’s perfect!” Lucas smiled at me. “I haven’t eaten a dish such as this for a very long time.” He replied.“Don’t patronize me.” I teased. ”My cooking is far from the best. I’m sure you have a lot of servants and cooks here who can cook way better.”“Daddy only eats mama’s cooking. And ever since mama died, dad did not want to eat anymore.” Gavin said while chomping on a spoonful of a ma
I was idly walking in the garden adoring the different flowers and minding my own business, when a woman came over to greet me. She looked about my age give or take a few years. She was a few inches taller than I was, had lively brown eyes, and brown hair that was tied neatly into a bun. She was wearing a black dress with white trim that fell just below her knees and a white apron with lace.“You must be the little masters’ new bodyguard.” She greeted with a big smile. “My name is Katarina, I am the head-maid here.”“The name’s Jaimie. Yes. I am the new bodyguard of Ana and Gavin.” I responded.Katarina looked at me from head-to-toe. “You’re so pretty. I expected the new bodyguard to be—”“Taller?”“Muscular.” She said matter-of-factly. “But yes, now that you mentioned it, I&rsqu
I felt a tingle of both happiness and melancholy. I knew that she was well-loved and cared for here, and that she was the source of sunshine in this family. There was a part of me that felt jealous—that Lucas and the kids had her, and that she had them. However, above all these feelings, guilt was the strongest. In the past four months that I’ve been watching this family I have never seen them as happy as I have seen them today. I shouldn’t be the one putting a smile on their faces. It should be her.Thoughts flew in my head imagining her gracefully walking down the corridors in a white dress that always looked so good on her, complimenting her blue eyes and fair complexion; the epitome of immaculate beauty. I imagine the way she would smile at her husband so tenderly and how he would hold her gently in his arms like the fragile little dove that she was. I imagine the way her children would come running to her at every chance they got. They wer
When we got to the kitchen, I served the kids some appetizer sandwiches while I made them dinner. I baked us up a large chicken glazed with some honey and herbs like basil, rosemary, and thyme with a side dish of mashed potatoes and gravy made from some flour and the chicken's natural oils.Lucas arrived just in time for dinner and ate with us. “How’s the food?” I asked “I do hope it is to your liking.” I asked.“It’s perfect!” Lucas smiled at me. “I haven’t eaten a dish such as this for a very long time.” He replied.“Don’t patronize me.” I teased. ”My cooking is far from the best. I’m sure you have a lot of servants and cooks here who can cook way better.”“Daddy only eats mama’s cooking. And ever since mama died, dad did not want to eat anymore.” Gavin said while chomping on a spoonful of a ma
Lucas showed me all the different places in the mansion— the ballroom where they held their parties, the music room filled with all kinds of instruments, and the kitchen where I would be working. The pantry was fully stacked. There were fresh fruits and vegetables of every kind in the counter. Oh! For the love of spices, herbs, and condiments, I can make so many delicious meals from these! I gleamed with excitement. I wasn't the best cook, but I do know how to make a hearty meal when given the proper ingredients."All of the fruit, vegetables, and spices are grown in our farm just a few miles from here." Lucas said."I thought you owned an oil company?" I asked. Just how many businesses does this man have?"I do. But we also own a farm. My parents also have a shipping company that I help manage. My wife used to help out on her parent's pharmaceutical business, but now that she's gone, I have to
My eyes flew open. I frantically looked around. Lucas beeped his horn and rolled the car into the entrance of a big estate. Where the hell are we? We were definitely NOT in London anymore. I checked my watch. It was 10:45am."Welcome to your new home." Lucas said, as if to answer my question. "This is a family estate we use for summer vacations, but with what happened in the city, I decided that the kids and I should settle here permanently instead.""When you said house, I was expecting an actual house not a mansion." I exclaimed."Don't you like it?" he asked. I heard the hurt in his voice. Shit."No, I do. It’s wonderful. It's just that... I might get lost. I'm not used to such big places." I responded timidly.Lucas' face brightened up like a child who was given candy for the very first time. "Well I'll give you a tour then! C'mon,
My alarm set-off at 7:00am. Crap, I fell asleep staring at the ceiling. I even had the weirdest dream… Staring at the ceiling. Well whatever. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. I went down to get my car at around 7:30am when I saw that there were two cars parked in front of my apartment building. One of them was a black sedan and the other was a Limo.Lucas got out of the driver’s seat of the Limousine. Seeing him in broad daylight made me realize that he was indeed a very handsome man, around 6’4, I guess. He could get any woman he wanted with his looks alone, much more so with all his money. But instead he chose to drown himself in misery and mourn for the death of his wife. She was such a lucky girl to have had a husband like him, other men would have just moved on. I’ve seen that happen a lot in my line of work. You can’t imagine how many husbands were responsible for their wives ‘suicide&rsqu
"Sir, we need to take the children to the hospital to get them checked-up." said one of the paramedics. The man who was intently gazing at me snapped out of what seemed to be a trance and turned towards the other direction to speak with the medical staff. I took that as an opportunity to leave and get some fresh air outside the clock tower. My adrenaline was fading and I felt the hunger pains in my stomach. I climbed down the Big Ben and was welcomed the people in my team.“Job well done!” I heard Sir Lincoln, our director, say as he patted me firmly on the back. “You finally gave that bastard the justice he deserved. He will now rot in whatever hellhole he came from.” He then offered me a ride home, but I politely refused. I knew that my place was out of the way from the agency and I prefer to be alone for a while. I just asked if I can borrow the car I came to the scene with.“You do realize that you tec
Raindrops fell from the dark gloomy sky as if crying for a fallen angel. Her funeral was full of tears. She was well loved by many. People wept, wailed, and screamed. She was gone too soon, too early. I scanned through the crowd and saw unfamiliar faces drenched in misery; except for one— jet-black hair and eyes of silver-grey stared blankly as her coffin was slowly lowered down six feet underground. I watched him closely. He did not shed a tear, but I knew that he was a walking corpse bound to self-destruct. He had small wounds on his lips from biting down on them. He had scratch marks on his palms from clenching his fists too hard. His breathing was shallow. His eyes were blank. When she passed away, he died with heart. I wish it had been me lying in that casket. Maybe then those beautiful eyes wouldn’t be so sad. As if he could read my mind, the man I was watching darted his ey