Chapter 5

Lucas showed me all the different places in the mansion— the ballroom where they held their parties, the music room filled with all kinds of instruments, and the kitchen where I would be working. The pantry was fully stacked. There were fresh fruits and vegetables of every kind in the counter. Oh! For the love of spices, herbs, and condiments, I can make so many delicious meals from these! I gleamed with excitement. I wasn't the best cook, but I do know how to make a hearty meal when given the proper ingredients.

 "All of the fruit, vegetables, and spices are grown in our farm just a few miles from here." Lucas said. 

"I thought you owned an oil company?" I asked. Just how many businesses does this man have?

"I do. But we also own a farm. My parents also have a shipping company that I help manage. My wife used to help out on her parent's pharmaceutical business, but now that she's gone, I have to take her place in the company." he replied.

"Was your marriage arranged?" I suddenly blurted out. Stupid Jaime. Why would you ask such a personal question? 

"What?" Lucas seemed genuinely confused. 

Crap. Me and my big mouth. There's no turning back now. "I just thought that… Since you and your wife both came from well-off families, I was wondering if your marriage was arranged. I mean, I heard about that somewhere; two children from rich families arranged to marry each other, so the two families could unite their businesses. Not that I'd know how these things actually worked." I stammered. “Never mind me, I’m just blabbering. Forget I said anything.”

Lucas let out a small giggle. Good. I didn’t offend him. "I met her when we were 10. We went to the same elementary and high-school. She was my first love. We became lovers in high-school and I got her pregnant when we were 17. We decided to get married before Gavin was born."

"You were her first love too." I blurted out absent-mindedly, smiling like an idiot. I remember her telling me about him— Lucas, the man she always dreamt of marrying.

Lucas shot me a confused look. That's when I realized that I shouldn't have known what I just told him. 

"I mean— Were you her first love too?" I asked, or tried to ask. This was the reason why I wanted to watch them from afar. I'm not really the best at human interaction. Can I just please talk to the horses instead?

"Yes. We were each other's first everything’s." Melancholy filled the air as I watched Lucas daydream about his wife. 

We walked idly around the mansion as I listened to more of Lucas' stories. We eventually arrived in a beautiful library adorned with antique bookshelves and old paintings, but these ones weren't painted by any artist I know. It was that of woman with short blonde hair and blue eyes. As I scanned the paintings closer, my heart skipped a beat— it was her. As I searched the room even closer, I saw some canvases and painting materials in the far back of the library. There was also an old writing desk with a few sketches of horses and flowers drawn in them. 

"Did you paint these?" I asked as I pointed at one of her paintings on the wall. Gosh. Now that I look at her image in the perspective of another person, I realized that she indeed looked so much like me, her hair just a tad bit longer than mine.

"Yes. That's my wife, Amelia. I used to draw and paint her all the time when she was alive. But now I can't seem to remember her face right. The past eight months after her death have been really hard on me. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't think." Lucas admitted. I didn't know he was such a good artist. I've never once seen him draw when I was keeping an eye on him.

"I still remember her passing away in my arms last December. It still hurts so much. Every time I close my eyes all I see is a distorted image of her face. Since her death, I never even held a pencil or a paintbrush. I'm afraid that I'd mess up her beautiful face." he admitted, guilty. 

So that's why he always stared at with her photo obsessively ever night before he went to sleep. Such a poor boy. Why is fate so cruel? Why didn't the sickness take me instead? Why did it have to be her?"

The air was filled with dread and sorrow. I could feel Lucas' depression, anxiety, and sadness filling the air. I didn't know what to do or say. Just when I was running out of conversation, the library doors flew open and both Ana and Gavin ran through the doors to greet their father. 

"Dad! We’ve been waiting all day for you!" yelled Gavin. Lucas gave the young boy a pat on the head.

"Yey daddy's home! And you brought Mama with you." said Ana as she hopped towards our direction. Lucas smiled at his children and carried Ana in his arms.

"Ana, this isn't your Mama. Mama went to heaven already." Lucas said. I can feel the hurt in his voice. "This is Jaime. He's going to be taking care of you both from now on." I smiled at both the children. 

"If you're not Mama, then why do you look like her?" asked Ana, curiously. "Look at that painting Daddy made. See, it looks like you! Did you know that is Mama?" The little girl explained. She was so adorable. 

"Sweetheart, sometimes people just happen to look like other people. " I tried to explain. 

"Can I call you Mama, then?" she asked. I didn't know what to say. While I did have some feminine features, I was clearly a man. I searched Lucas eyes for an answer. If I say yes, will he be mad? Will he think that I'm erasing the memory of his wife from his child? If I say no, I might hurt the feelings of this precious girl.

Lucas eyes looked into mine and I saw him slightly nod as if pleading me to say yes. I looked back at Ana and nodded my head in approval. She then stretched her arms out to me and asked me to carry her.

"Yey Mama!" she said as Lucas handed the little girl over to me.

"Jaime, could you take the kids to the kitchen for dinner? I'll follow in a bit. It would also be nice if you get to know them better." Lucas said. 

Wait... Dinner? I checked my watch and it read 7:45pm. The day passed by so quickly I didn't realize that it was night-time. 

"Sure. Come along you two. Let's leave your father be." The children and I left the library and walked towards the kitchen. I was carrying Ana in my arms and Gavin was walking alongside us. The layout of the mansion was easy to memorize and I didn't have a hard time maneuvering my way through the different corridors and hallways.

"Hey, can I call you Mama too?" Gavin asked, pulling on the hem of my shirt.

"Gavin. I'm here to be your bodyguard, not your mother. You're old enough to know that." I said firmly. 

Gavin scowled at me. "That's not fair! Why can Ana call you Mama, but I can't?" 

I didn't want to argue anymore. Gavin was right, all of them were grieving. If calling me 'Mama' would ease their pain, then it's the least I can do.

"Okay, but only when no one else is around. I don't want people to make up rumors." I said. “Your father already has a lot to deal with.”

Gavin just responded to me with a smile and ran towards the kitchen. “Come one Ana! Last one there is a rotten egg!” Ana on the other hand did not heed her brother’s request for a race and paced with me like the proper little lady she was as we walked towards the kitchen. Looking at her now, she as the same blonde hair, blue eyes, and soft facial features her mother had, but even at the young age of five she was tall for her age, a trait she got from her father.