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Chapter 4
Last Updated:
2021-03-08 12:59:16
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Illegal Love Chapter 5
As the morning sunlight shone through the curtains, I was expecting to feel a warm body. Yet looking over to my left I saw nothing but an empty cold side of the bed. I hated how bland the sex was, but if I really wanted to pass it off, I had to fake it. Usually, he would wake me up to start the day, but today he let me sleep in. The first time, I was pregnant so he was more lenient with me. I head for the bathroom to hop in the shower. I let the hot water steam from the shower and onto my body. The door slams shut and cause me to jump. "You slept with him!" I turn around to see Carter raging. He is viciously stripping down then joins me in the shower."What the hell are you doing?" I yell at him as he backs me up onto the wall."I had to hear it all night, and I know you don't sound like that."The water is dripping from his body as he stares down at me."I am taking matters into my own hands, and me being his wife consists of pleasing him."His mouth turns into a scowl, and he suddenl
Last Updated : 2021-03-08Illegal Love Chapter 6
We arrived home not long after, Carter was staying over because he was taking Carlos to the airport in the morning. “Son, go get ready for bed, and I better not find you on that tablet either.” He gave me an eye roll right before he ran upstairs. “I am pretty tired; I will see you tomorrow.” Carter headed upstairs, and here I was completely drained. I scurried up the stairs and was heading for my bedroom when I noticed the lamp was on. I slowly open the door to see Carlos in bed with the one and only, Erika. She works at one of the warehouses and has been sleeping with him for a while now. He never allowed her to sleepover, but of course, here they are. I was tired and I didn’t want to bother. I quickly changed then headed downstairs and slept on the couch. I had no energy to fight with him at this point. Sleep took over, but sleep wasn’t nice to me. I had the same dream all the time. Everything was dark, and I was back in the van with those kids. They were crying and I was defens
Last Updated : 2021-03-08Illegal Love Chapter 7
I never really understood what my father meant when he said, “Not everything is as it seems.” Because how do you know it isn’t? I asked him multiple times and he would tell me, “Mija, you really don’t know and you’re trying to read too much into it. Sometimes when you know you know.” He explained like trying to see what’s behind the clear picture. Every lie has a truth. Every painter has a story. Every writer writes to escape into a reality where they are in control. So, you can’t expect a writer and painter to show you a clear picture the same. In this case, you can’t expect a gang leader to show you the same as a mafia leader. In the world I grew up in, those were two different things. Your country knows your name, or the whole world knows your name. I remember this one time when I was younger while we were living in Mexico, my uncle Jose had taken me to the park where he was called in for a job. Living the life of a Cartel member, you don’t say no. Sadly, my parents were both b
Last Updated : 2021-03-08Illegal Love Chapter 8
We typically chose not to fight in public for Bently but as we were riding in the car, my raging hormones got the better of me. “I can’t believe you would pull such a stunt. What? You can’t do it yourself, you coward!” He reached over for my hand which I snatched away quickly. “Nadia, not now.” He demanded, but he was calm. That’s one thing that was amazing about him. He has been mad before and spoke to me sternly, yet he never yelled at me or anyone. I was a raging tornado, and he was those high mountains that stopped me in my tracks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He looked at me pleadingly. I wanted to knock his stupid head off his body. “The tattoo you dimwit. He was one of your men in the UK. Lie to me again.” I saw the nervous look on his face which was all the proof I needed. I knew he was dumb, but this was another level of ignorance. “If he would have gotten caught, he would have told Carlos about the money my family has for me. My family could get hurt. He took
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 9
He finally turned his body in my direction, which so far was a good thing. “Nadia, I am not here to be friends with my cousin’s wife. I don’t care what happens in your private life, as I don’t care what happens to you. You are just a girl I watch.” I would be lying if I told you that it didn’t hurt me, but he has to know me before he could hate me. “And why not? What have I ever done to you for you to hate me so much?” His lip started to twitch, and I suddenly flinched when his hand moved. “I’m sorry!” I screamed. The air got thicker, and the park became silent as everyone around stopped in their tracks. I uncovered my arms from my face to look back at Carter completely stunned. He was only combing his hair with his fingers. “Nadia I wasn’t going to hit you; I don’t do that to women.” I finally relaxed, but my heart was pounding on another level. “I’ve heard that before, so I am not convinced.” He rested his head on his hand fully invested, processing what I was saying. “You don’t wan
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 10
He really kept to his word. I was over here more often than not. Especially since I knew my lovely husband was out sleeping around. It gave more time for that, but then things took a horrible turn. About seven months after Carlos and I had gotten into an argument. I wasn’t feeling very well, and I woke up really late. Bently was still in PJs, and Carlos came home during lunchtime and things weren’t ready. He could care less how I felt, and I talked back to him. He had wrapped his hands around my throat and slammed me against the wall. When I fell to the ground, he grabbed me by the arms to pick me up. When I pulled back, he let go and I hit my face against the bed frame. He was leaving that night and told me he was taking me to Carter’s house. Everything was all so last minute that when I walked into Carter's house, I called out for him. “I am in my bedroom, Nadia!” He yelled. I quickly put Bently down for bedtime in the guest room and walked over to his bedroom.When I walked in, he w
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 11
We were so wrapped up in each other that I wanted more. I reached up latching my lips onto his, trying to take everything in because I thought this was it. There was no way this can happen again, but it was hard not to. I think in my mind Bently knew we were seeing each other, but he was someone who liked to be by himself he didn’t want to notice. Anytime we had Carlos’s friends over, he never wanted to play with their kids. He’d say “Mom, they’re annoying. Can you not make me play with them again?” He was definitely something else. Trying to juggle doing what’s best for my son, and also me trying to find happiness in such a small place I was kept in. I released myself from his mouth, and he just looked at him. “No. We’re throwing gasoline in a fire though.”I think a part of me kept causing issues with Carlos in order for him to send me to Carter’s. It was like an addiction of wanting to mean something to someone, which turned into something more. Like the day that I knew I loved him
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 12
There we were in the car, looking at each other trying to understand how everything was going so wrong. We knew what we wanted but sadly it didn’t look like it would happen. We never intended for this to happen, but sadly we don’t have control of how this world develops. When two people who were never supposed to happen, became something so beautiful and unrealistic. Sometimes I like to think it’s a test of faith to see how much you can take. Forced marriage, son, affair, and pregnancy. Long ago I thought that maybe there was no higher power, because how can something so powerful be so cruel at the same time? Why are rapists, pedophiles, murderers, drugs all allowed? My faith has been something that I have been questioning for an exceptionally long time. Yet Carter coming into my life had to be some kind of miracle. He saw hope in everything that was bad. For a long time, I believed even bad people deserve a second chance and for a while, that was becoming harder and harder. The sad pa
Last Updated : 2021-03-27
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Illegal Love Chapter 37
I sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come in and just sign a prescription. Which means they make you get naked to examine everything and take your blood. The door opened and she came in. “Mrs.Lozano it’s nice to see you again. I see you’re here to get some birth control pills is that correct?” I nodded at her. “Are you just doing this short term, or do you plan to later on?” She asked. “I am about to be divorced with two men pining for me. Last thing I need is to bring another child into this world. Maybe later on but as of now I don’t want it to happen, and I happen to get pregnant by someone looking at me.” I joked. Which made the doctor laugh? “You know back in the days; men would find women with big hips. Big hips meant that they could bear children with no problems. It’s a good thing these are modern times, or then you’d probably have more children by now.”
Illegal Love Chapter 36
I’ve spent most of my time with Talon and I was ready to give him my all. I think the love I have for him grew into something stronger. I know Carter wants something more, but I can’t understand his reasons for breaking someone’s heart. I think honestly, I was trying to figure why he was rooting for us still, like things haven’t changed. He kisses me, and it’s like nothing changed. Things have changed, and I couldn’t let go of that one bit. Talon allowed me to figure things out, because it was never going to be an easy choice. With Talon things are so easy and comfortable. But with Carter, we are always fighting. Fighting over the same stuff, over and over. Fighting like there was still something to fight for. I felt like because we fought so much, and it turned into nothing that we deserve that chance. But I didn’t want to fight anymore. Fighting just makes things harder to end things. “Earth to Nadia, you okay?” I forgot that I had zoned out. Carter
Illegal Love Chapter 35
NadiaThe next morning, I felt as if I was at peace. I still had to find my sister, but at this moment, I wanted to enjoy it before it gets dark again. I got up and wrapped myself in my robe before I headed downstairs. Talon once again was cooking. Mika was sitting at the table already eating. “Good morning. You know this is my house, you don’t need to cook.” I walked over, wrapping my arms around him. “I want to, I built up an appetite last night.” He joked. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I sat next to Mika. “Hey kid, did you sleep well?” Mika had gotten up and sat on my lap. He was much like his dad, but also a momma’s boy. “Yeah, but there was screaming. I slept right after it ended.” Poor kid. A knock on the door was heard, before Carter walked in. Oh boy this was about to get awkward. “What are you doing here?” I asked him. He sat down in front of me, before taking my piece of bacon. “You asked me to take Mika today, that you w
Illegal Love Chapter 34
NadiaYou ever start a puzzle and not stop working on it for as long as it takes. Then suddenly once you get to the end, you lose that last piece? That was me putting myself back together again. I moved into my own place with my son Mika. I made sure Carter and Talon both knew I wasn’t ready to date, and that they should start doing things at their own pace. Focus on themselves, go out and date. It was good if they moved on as it took me a long time to get to a good place. Learning how to co-parent and manage going to work. I’ve been seeing a therapist for my postpartum. But although things seem to be better, I will always hold onto so much anger. But at this point in time, I needed to start moving on and allowing myself to open up. Everyone was spread out through my house, as we celebrated Mika’s birthday. I enjoyed this and seeing him so happy. “Is that a smile I see?” Talon joined me, leaning up
Illegal Love Chapter 33
NadiaI can’t remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I was up with Mika most hours of the night and found myself sleeping with Bently’s clothes just to smell him. I knew that Talon and Carter were wanting to help, but I needed space. I also didn’t trust myself alone. I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I found myself on Talon’s balcony most nights. It was the only place I could feel some kind of peace. “Hey, I brought you some hot tea.” Talon came in, setting it on the table. He sat next to me, as I cradled Mika in my arms. “What’s with British people and tea? It’s not the magical cure to everything.” He started laughing. “True, but it taste good.” The crisp winter air sent a shiver through me. Which caused Talon to get up and bring me a blanket wrapping us both in its warm embrace.“
Illegal Love Chapter 32
I woke up the next day. A part of me was hoping I’d never wake up. Because waking up would mean I’d have to face the fact that my Bently was dead. I didn’t want this, not for anyone. I turned to the right and saw Talon asleep on the couch. Carter was laying back with the baby on his chest. “You can bring Mika here, so you can catch some sleep.” Carter stood up and walked over to me. “He needs to eat; I didn’t want to wake you.” He handed him over and I began to breastfeed him. “You’re going to do that with us both right here?” I rolled my eyes at him as Mika latched on. “It’s a boob that’s feeding my son, I don’t care who sees.” He stood there watching me. “Wait, Mika?” I looked at him and just nodded. But the tears started forming again. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” Carter nodded but started biting on his cheek. “He&rsqu
Illegal Love Chapter 31
I was unsure if I was still alive. But I heard beeping and talking all around me. Was this a hospital? My eyelids felt heavy, but I had to try. I pried them open to see nurses standing around me. “She’s awake. Hey Nadia, do you know where you are?” I looked at the nurse who was talking to me. My throat hurt, so I just nodded in confusion. I look to my left to see Carter holding a baby. I looked down to see my baby bump was gone. To say I was freaking out was an understatement. The doctor came in and had me do some tests to confirm I was okay. “You’re incredibly lucky to be alive. Your brother gave us the okay to perform an emergency c-section. Your son is premature, but he is extraordinarily strong. We will keep both of you here until you’re ready. So, don’t stress yourself out. I will leave you.” He took his leave and I still hadn’t said anything. Maybe it was the shock.” Carter placed the b
Illegal Love Chapter 30
CarterWeeks had passed since Nadia was taken right in front of my eyes. I was helpless. There was nothing I could do. I beat myself up for not being able to help her. Telling Bently she will be home soon, when really, we don’t even know where she is. Or if she was coming back at all. Talon and I have been working hard with tons of his men on the lookout. I want to hold onto hope that she’s alive still, along with my son. Again we don’t know what his intentions are anymore. Where were we going to go from here? But I needed to have more trust in her. We were in his office trying to figure out anywhere she could be. Suddenly the papers on the table were on the floor. “This is bullsh*t. How is it no one has any idea where she is!” He yelled. “Carlos had thousands of hiding places. She could be anywhere. We’ve checked a lot of places and there isn’t any trace.” I was frustrated,
Illegal Love Chapter 29
Bently had told him what I was doing in small words, but it didn’t need big ones. We had parked in the parking lot of the park. I knew I was about to get an earful. As Bently ran off to the playground, Carter grabbed my hand and moved my hair away from my neck revealing the hicky I tried hard to hide. “You slept with him, didn’t you?” I felt ashamed that I got caught, but he wasn’t a stupid man. “Answer me Nadia.” I looked up to his eyes that were full of hurt and I nodded in disappointment. He removed his hands from me, before taking off for a walk. The thought that I just kept on hurting him and he kept coming back made me mad. I couldn’t control how I felt, and I had little self-control. He left for a long time, just trying to get himself together. I played with Bently for a few hours before we sat on the bench to talk. “Mom, can I ask you something?” I nodded at him. “We are away fr
