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Chapter 9
Last Updated:
2021-03-21 12:25:36
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Illegal Love Chapter 10
He really kept to his word. I was over here more often than not. Especially since I knew my lovely husband was out sleeping around. It gave more time for that, but then things took a horrible turn. About seven months after Carlos and I had gotten into an argument. I wasn’t feeling very well, and I woke up really late. Bently was still in PJs, and Carlos came home during lunchtime and things weren’t ready. He could care less how I felt, and I talked back to him. He had wrapped his hands around my throat and slammed me against the wall. When I fell to the ground, he grabbed me by the arms to pick me up. When I pulled back, he let go and I hit my face against the bed frame. He was leaving that night and told me he was taking me to Carter’s house. Everything was all so last minute that when I walked into Carter's house, I called out for him. “I am in my bedroom, Nadia!” He yelled. I quickly put Bently down for bedtime in the guest room and walked over to his bedroom.When I walked in, he w
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 11
We were so wrapped up in each other that I wanted more. I reached up latching my lips onto his, trying to take everything in because I thought this was it. There was no way this can happen again, but it was hard not to. I think in my mind Bently knew we were seeing each other, but he was someone who liked to be by himself he didn’t want to notice. Anytime we had Carlos’s friends over, he never wanted to play with their kids. He’d say “Mom, they’re annoying. Can you not make me play with them again?” He was definitely something else. Trying to juggle doing what’s best for my son, and also me trying to find happiness in such a small place I was kept in. I released myself from his mouth, and he just looked at him. “No. We’re throwing gasoline in a fire though.”I think a part of me kept causing issues with Carlos in order for him to send me to Carter’s. It was like an addiction of wanting to mean something to someone, which turned into something more. Like the day that I knew I loved him
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Illegal Love Chapter 12
There we were in the car, looking at each other trying to understand how everything was going so wrong. We knew what we wanted but sadly it didn’t look like it would happen. We never intended for this to happen, but sadly we don’t have control of how this world develops. When two people who were never supposed to happen, became something so beautiful and unrealistic. Sometimes I like to think it’s a test of faith to see how much you can take. Forced marriage, son, affair, and pregnancy. Long ago I thought that maybe there was no higher power, because how can something so powerful be so cruel at the same time? Why are rapists, pedophiles, murderers, drugs all allowed? My faith has been something that I have been questioning for an exceptionally long time. Yet Carter coming into my life had to be some kind of miracle. He saw hope in everything that was bad. For a long time, I believed even bad people deserve a second chance and for a while, that was becoming harder and harder. The sad pa
Last Updated : 2021-03-27Illegal Love Chapter 13
Back in high school, I was voted Most Likely to Succeed. I was on the debate team, straight-A student, and friends with everyone. I had always felt like something was missing in my life. I had a perfect life, the perfect family, and the perfect boyfriend. We were sitting in the chem lab and I was working on my senior project that many colleges would be looking at. I chose the truth about corrupt America and trafficking. Many women and kids were being kidnapped back from my hometown to next door. It pained me to know that they were missing without a trace. Or when 1500 immigrants were “lost” in the cages they were being kept in. The news was depressing. My family and many of the immigrants that reside in Hatch were under fire. Everywhere we went we were told to go back to Mexico. Speaking our native language was always some Caucasian women screaming at us. So, I decided to do a project on something that has no perfect outcome. To show what our leaders of the world could do in order to s
Last Updated : 2021-03-27Illegal Love Chapter 14
We had stood there just wrapped in each other’s arms as I sobbed and soaked his shirt. My breathing wasn’t steady but I somehow managed to hold my balance. “Nadia it’s okay, you don’t need to go through this alone anymore.” He tried to comfort me but sadly I just felt violated even when I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I chose to tell him, but it was the trust in me that made it easier. “I need to go for a walk alone please.” His pained look sent my heart to my stomach. I knew that if I didn’t put some space between us I wouldn’t stop crying. He slowly just nodded at me as I headed to the door. There was this spot down the road near the lake that really seemed to calm me. The moon overlooked the water. While the ripples appeared in the lake. I wondered how I was going to be something I had forgotten how to be. After eight years you’d think I would have strengthened my backbone, but it was somehow lost in sudden despair.I placed my hand on my stomach carrying a defenseless child. I haven’t
Last Updated : 2021-04-03Illegal Love Chapter 15
After they beat me trying to find out where the girls were. I told them multiple times that I didn’t know, and I was telling the truth. I told them to run and not look back. “Take her to Nick, they can have some fun with this troublemaker.” I heard one of them say. They began to laugh as I laid on the floor with a broken nose. I thought I was going to die, they made me wish I was dead. They snatched me from the ground and tossed me back into the van. It felt like we were in there for days as the little light that came in reminded me of when it was dark and morning. No food or water was given; they only gave me vodka to drink. After forcing me out of the van the sun burnt my eyes. I was put into a bathroom where they made me bathe myself. A doctor came in and put my nose back in place as I was only breathing out of my mouth. Before being thrown into a room with no mattress, only a floor. That was my home for months. Never seeing daylight till I was sold. That day a man named Nick came i
Last Updated : 2021-06-08Illegal Love Chapter 16
Nadia entered the house, I have never seen someone freeze the way she did. Her tan skin went pale as she stared at my father like she knew him. She was shaking and picking at her fingers and I just couldn’t figure it out. She stormed off saying she was going to pack her stuff and go. “Nadia where are you going?” My father looked at me before shifting to my other side and waited for her to get out of earshot. “Your cousin’s wife's son? I thought I raised you better than that” I rolled my eyes to his judgement. My father was an amazing father, but he wasn’t a good man. I knew the type of leader he was and how he treated my mother which for some reason I never really knew. “Dad, you have no idea what you’re talking about. There is more to the story. But if I told you then you’d find no issues with it.” I went to lean against the table to give him a death stare. “What I know is, that’s Carlos’s wife and it doesn’t take a genius to know something is going on between you two. You can tell b
Last Updated : 2021-06-09Illegal Love Chapter 17
My mouth dropped open at what she was telling me. My father was her abuser? My family was hurting her over and over and I am allowing this why? Thoughts of vulnerable Nadia fighting with everything in her to not let this man win, eventually losing all the fight in her. I shook my head in disbelief. I backed up into the wall and began fighting back tears. This can't be true. I can’t let this go on any longer, but I don’t want my family dead even though that’s what needs to happen. Imagine the conflict my head is going through processing this. “I can’t be involved with you, with your father still here. He hurt me Carter over and over again. He damaged me more than Carlos ever did. But I won’t make you decide between your family and me. But I choose my kids and me to protect.” I sat on my bed with my face in my hands trying to understand how much pain she went through. Images I can never get out. I need to get her out today. With or without me is the only way that can happen. It's not ab
Last Updated : 2021-06-09
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Illegal Love Chapter 42
8 years later…I’d like to think that things have changed since I lost the love of my life, but they didn’t. Shortly after we booked our last-minute tickets to New Mexico. Things weren’t the same. For months and months, I was just separated from the entire world. Carter is amazing, but I was dumb enough not to appreciate it. We struggled getting a good place. Like we had everything, but I could only find comfort in him physically. I just wanted to feel love again. But it seemed that it never came. One day I told myself I need to fake that I’m okay, hoping that I’d trick my mind into thinking everything was okay. I fell pregnant again shortly after. Yes again. Giving birth to my now seven-year-old daughter Nelani. You can imagine what it’s like to have three kids. Slightly after she was born, things became rocky. Slowly Carter began to pull away from me. We got mar
Illegal Love Chapter 41
I spent my day training in the gym, while the kids were in school. I had a trainer help with my reflexes and attacks. I didn’t ask the guys because they’d end up turning it sexual, and quite frankly so would I. “Nadia, keep your eyes open when someone swings at you.” He went for another swing that I dodged, but I blinked again. “Listen, in that blink of an eye you will be open to an attack.” I was so tired I fell to the ground and laid on it. “Are you okay?” He asks. “I am drained, and my nerves are on fire. I think I am going to call it quits for the evening and go get my kids.” He reached his arm to lift me up. “You know most people that have me as a private trainer, do it because they’ve experienced something traumatic and they want to be in control.” I went to take a drink out of my canister. He wasn’t wrong. “I used to be able to protect myself really well.
Illegal Love Chapter 40
CamilaDays had flown by as I tried to understand how on earth, I let this happen. My boyfriend was dead. My sister hated me so much. I lost everything I cared for, and now it was time to end it all. I would never live safe as long as I was alive, but I wanted to keep living. I was going to live if it was the last thing I do. I grabbed my boyfriend’s burner phone with his cousin’s number. I unlocked it and hit the call button. It rang a few times. “Hey Zack, what’s up?” I was hesitant but it needed to be done. “Hey this is Zack’s girlfriend. I need your help.” I replied. “Where is my cousin Camila?” He asked. Tears poured down my eyes, as I had to be the bearer of bad news. “He’s dead. My sister killed him.” It went silent over the phone. I heard him breathing hard. “I am coming over.” The phone went silent. Not even thirty minutes passed
Illegal Love Chapter 39
This car repair was actually abandoned. But it looks like it’s still in service. It was in a place most people wouldn’t know of. Talon had thrown the guy over his shoulders and, carried him to a basement that looked like it’s was set up for torture. I knew Talon was dangerous, but he was so calm you would never think he was this way. He was the type of person who can’t forgive you if you do something intentionally to hurt. I’ve never seen that side, because even now he is calm. I don’t even know if I even want to see that side of him, I am sure it is scary. He sat him onto a chair, handcuffing his hands behind its back. We knew it would be awhile before he woke up. “So, mind telling me what happened?” He asked as he leaned against the wall. I was on the other side sitting on another chair. “I was walking back to my car when he had attacked me. As you can tell, I whooped his butt.” He smirked
Illegal Love Chapter 38
The next few days were quiet. I’d go to work, come home, different guys would be there. I’d take care of my kids and nothing more to it. The thing about it being way too quiet was the fact that it was quieter than it should be. I knew something was going to happen eventually. Carlos has been calling everyday with updates from people. We found out she was in Queens, New York. A place I never thought to look. But she is safe over there, until she isn’t. Camila was a rookie and thinks just by being far away surrounded by people who are considered dangerous it would protect her. She wasn’t safe anywhere. I know I am supposed to be focusing on the good, but my son being avenged was all I can think about that I forgot about my own anger. To the men who hurt me. To my husband who mistreated me. I was supposed to be a mad woman, but I was at peace. That’s what angered me because I should be angry. I should be taking my anger out
Illegal Love Chapter 37
I sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come in and just sign a prescription. Which means they make you get naked to examine everything and take your blood. The door opened and she came in. “Mrs.Lozano it’s nice to see you again. I see you’re here to get some birth control pills is that correct?” I nodded at her. “Are you just doing this short term, or do you plan to later on?” She asked. “I am about to be divorced with two men pining for me. Last thing I need is to bring another child into this world. Maybe later on but as of now I don’t want it to happen, and I happen to get pregnant by someone looking at me.” I joked. Which made the doctor laugh? “You know back in the days; men would find women with big hips. Big hips meant that they could bear children with no problems. It’s a good thing these are modern times, or then you’d probably have more children by now.”
Illegal Love Chapter 36
I’ve spent most of my time with Talon and I was ready to give him my all. I think the love I have for him grew into something stronger. I know Carter wants something more, but I can’t understand his reasons for breaking someone’s heart. I think honestly, I was trying to figure why he was rooting for us still, like things haven’t changed. He kisses me, and it’s like nothing changed. Things have changed, and I couldn’t let go of that one bit. Talon allowed me to figure things out, because it was never going to be an easy choice. With Talon things are so easy and comfortable. But with Carter, we are always fighting. Fighting over the same stuff, over and over. Fighting like there was still something to fight for. I felt like because we fought so much, and it turned into nothing that we deserve that chance. But I didn’t want to fight anymore. Fighting just makes things harder to end things. “Earth to Nadia, you okay?” I forgot that I had zoned out. Carter
Illegal Love Chapter 35
NadiaThe next morning, I felt as if I was at peace. I still had to find my sister, but at this moment, I wanted to enjoy it before it gets dark again. I got up and wrapped myself in my robe before I headed downstairs. Talon once again was cooking. Mika was sitting at the table already eating. “Good morning. You know this is my house, you don’t need to cook.” I walked over, wrapping my arms around him. “I want to, I built up an appetite last night.” He joked. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I sat next to Mika. “Hey kid, did you sleep well?” Mika had gotten up and sat on my lap. He was much like his dad, but also a momma’s boy. “Yeah, but there was screaming. I slept right after it ended.” Poor kid. A knock on the door was heard, before Carter walked in. Oh boy this was about to get awkward. “What are you doing here?” I asked him. He sat down in front of me, before taking my piece of bacon. “You asked me to take Mika today, that you w
Illegal Love Chapter 34
NadiaYou ever start a puzzle and not stop working on it for as long as it takes. Then suddenly once you get to the end, you lose that last piece? That was me putting myself back together again. I moved into my own place with my son Mika. I made sure Carter and Talon both knew I wasn’t ready to date, and that they should start doing things at their own pace. Focus on themselves, go out and date. It was good if they moved on as it took me a long time to get to a good place. Learning how to co-parent and manage going to work. I’ve been seeing a therapist for my postpartum. But although things seem to be better, I will always hold onto so much anger. But at this point in time, I needed to start moving on and allowing myself to open up. Everyone was spread out through my house, as we celebrated Mika’s birthday. I enjoyed this and seeing him so happy. “Is that a smile I see?” Talon joined me, leaning up
