Chapter 01

The steps began to falter as she was moving away from his sight. Of course, her body could not bear the sorrow of going away from him. Sure, someone has rightly said that there is a limit to the pain. At some step or the other, that pain becomes so deep, that it can be easily recognized by touching; becomes so loud that its sound settles in the ears; so visible that it can be seen with the naked eye. Perhaps even though pain is actually a mental emotion, it is reflected by the body like a mirror. 

Not only the legs, but the whole body was trying to stop her there because the desire of the body was the same — he. It was in the possession of the soul and the soul was blind in the longing to meet him. Because it knows — the soul knows its mate, its partner, its humdard.

Tears blurred her vision and were harshly wiped away for committing the mistake of shedding recklessly for him, falling uncontrollably for herself. 

She did not want to feel sorry for herself anymore. For her, getting attracted to a man who was already someone else’s was a huge mistake that she made. If her body was ready to groan in pain because of his longing, it simply meant that she wanted to go back to him. He has dominion over each and every single part of her. She wanted to go harsh on herself. 

Fists clenched tightly around the fabric of her white angelic dress. The environment around was too busy to notice her grieving self. The cold wind of mid-October in the huge city of New York was not showing mercy at all. Just a few steps made her feel like she walked a mile but she did not want to stop at all. 

Walking on the side of the road, with a part of her saree clenched in one fist and wiping tears with the other, she was moving forward without any destination. Head was lowered and her eyes were filled with heavy emotions. The pain was the main. She got nobody to hold her, that is how poor she was, left all alone. 

Maybe everyone around her was mean. 

She did not stop even after a black expensive-looking car halted right beside her. It shone with glory, the brand SUV got some of the unnecessary attention from the people around. 

“Ms Paulose!” The man behind the solid door uttered, making her stop right there. Wiping those stubborn tears, she peered up at the source, seeing the door opening before the familiar man stepped outside. 

He first looked around — alert as usual. The eyes hidden behind those dark glasses then stopped upon Hazel and he found her staring at him, the bold innocence pooling inside them making him sigh inaudibly. 

He could see how hurt she looked. He had no idea how everything affected her that deeply because as Gabriella told him about the plan and then explained the things to him, he thought Hazel was just like some other one-night-stand slut who would not mind much. But upon seeing that vibrant honesty, and depth of true and heavenly emotions, he had to forget what Gabriella fit into his brain. Nonsense, probably. 

“Please, get inside, I’m here to assure you reach home safely. Ms Smith has sent me.” That deep voice registered in her head. “Before Mr Daud comes to get you, it’s better if we leave,” he suggested, sounding calm but only he knew how anxious he was from inside. He did not want Hazel to deny the help he was offering to her. 

She nodded, mumbling, “Yeah, sure.” 

He sighed and then walked to open the door for her. She settled in the back seat, thanking him for closing the door for her, just as the manners she could not forget in any situation, but her throat surely did not help her much. She felt like crying every damn time. 

He nodded as it was his duty. He walked to grab his seat and then drove the car to its location. Distance had been created and she believed that now it was not written in her destiny to come back to him. 

It is strange to think that there was a time when she used to run away from him and now she does not want to go away from him. The thought of him going away was making her heart tingle. It seemed as though everything was falling apart — especially her heart, did it not? She had tried a lot to control her ignorant heart, but could not, because if it cannot free you from control, then it is not love at all. 

Despite not wishing, he proved to be a good man in her eyes. Something inside him was being pulled out by her and only she could see it and it felt like goodness. 

Even if lakhs of evils come out of a person, his basic goodness cannot be ignored.

And now she was away from the same person. Wishing the separation had already been written in their fate, then perhaps it would not have been so sad at that moment. Especially when the body had recognized him, the soul had longed for him.

“Hazel!” 

Her heart skipped a beat. A beat missed the moment she heard that familiar voice full of desperation, pain and uneasiness. Her eyes widened and her head snapped in that direction, desperation decided to speak through her, wanting to sound loud. 

She looked back through the window but with the countless city lights attacking the glass, she could not get to see anything clearly. Her brows creased and her bottom lip trembled, another sob threatening to spill out. He made her so emotionless just by being the real him and he had no idea how much he had her crying only for him because he did not know when she felt, she felt deeply. 

She was not like a river, he could not admire her like that. No way. She was the ocean — deep, clean and sensitive. 

If fate was a little easier, she might not have run away hiding her wish. 

She clutched the side of her chest, taking a deep breath and turning her face away. The car was already at a higher speed than before. Robert — the bodyguard who was with Hazel, did not want any trouble. Especially when he was given strict instructions. 

The door opened and he stared down at the girl, saying, “Ma’am, we’re here. Please, come outside.” 

As she was aimlessly gazing in the front, looking lost and depressed, he chose to inform her about everything. He did not know how but he could feel the depth of her pain and fear. It was strong and he sympathised with her. 

She nodded meekly as she came out. He locked the door and took the keys with him. “Sorry for making you wait,” he apologized, pulling out two packets from his pocket. 

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, looking down. A stiff nod came in her direction before he asked her to follow him under the roof. She walked after him, not looking anywhere else. The wish to know little-little things was dead inside her. 

He made all the arrangements and finally, they got into the aeroplane. She ignored the attention she got there. Some eyed her tear-stained face, while some did that with her body. 

“Follow me… here,” he showed her the seat and then pulled himself back. She slipped into the seat, wiping away a lone tear that spilt out of her left eye. She was leaving. 

The seat next to her stayed empty while Robert sat behind her. The flight back to India was long, yet she did not desire to sleep. How could she when she got no peace inside her? Everything was as if snatched away from her. It was so ironic because she held nothing with herself. Everything was forced on her, her life was never in her hands. 

If silence could help, she just leaned back and stared out through the window. Everything looked very small from above. The whole of New York was lit up with light and then the whole of America. She could see the entire land of the continent from above, surrounded by water only. Clouds also came under, but the weather was very clear. And in all this, she had no desire to look at anything with curiosity. Just as she had come, so was she going — with tears, loss and pain. 

The flight ended and Robert helped her in coming out. A car was arranged for them out of nowhere but she did not bother to know about it. They reached the mansion, a nostalgic feeling creeping onto her senses, itching her mind and already restless heart. She stared at her plush cage, standing outside, near the car. Robert stayed there, too, not wanting to disturb her. 

Taking a shaky breath, she forced her steps with a heavy heart. The bodyguards standing at the door gave her a dirty look before they averted their gaze as the girl ignored them easily. 

She went inside the mansion and her eyes only stared at her beloved room. She just wanted to go there and hide herself. But as soon as Eliseva caught her standing at the door, she rushed to her and engulfed her in a tight hug. 

“Oh my lovely little Hazel, I missed you so much! In your absence, the charm here disappeared! But look, tum aa gaye ho, noor aa gaya hai!” She sang, pulling away and looking at her face. The tears had dried by now but their marks told Eliseva everything. She smirked, not feeling even an ounce of sympathy for Hazel. 

“Eliseva, please — I wanna leave,” her voice wavered as she looked down in shame and stepped back to leave. 

Eliseva did not react and just watched the girl leave. Her eyes lingered on her body which was different than before — a sign that she achieved what she wanted for Hazel. 

Her attention was dragged back and she decided to take a look at the man who came inside the huge haveli with Hazel. She smirked upon seeing that the man was also staring at Hazel’s retreating form. The dark thing in his eyes prevented Eliseva from finding any emotion inside them. 

“Like what you see?” She asked, earning his attention. His lips pressed in a thin line and he went back to the ‘robot mode’. 

“Last time, Mr Daud came to get her, this time you, what changed? The man lost interest like this?” A part inside her wanted to yell at Robert because the memories of her with her ex-husband spread their fragrance inside her chest. She hated men from her guts. 

“He’s busy with a new life. Boss is going to get married soon,” he replied emotionlessly as if a robot was delivering his speech. 

The fact left her stunned before it amused her in a second. She raised her brows in surprise, muttering, “Oh that’s great! Congratulate him and I wish his wife knows his dear desires!” She chuckled in the end. 

“She knows,” he said before he moved to leave. 

Eliseva scoffed, shaking her head. “Men will be men,” she muttered, avoiding thinking about it anymore. She hated such men. 

“Mishal, Hazel is back! Get her something to eat!” She yelled before she disappeared into her room, indirectly informing the girls about Hazel’s arrival. She knew Irene would run a marathon for her while Rabiya would run to bite her. 

 ⁠~⁠♪

The door of her room opened and she stepped inside. The familiar warm fragrance greeted her as if welcoming her. She took a deep breath — breathing into the scent and letting herself engulf in it. It was the place she belonged, after all. The place that called her dearly. And now she was convinced that her whole life was going to be spent between these walls, under this roof. Dreams are indeed different from reality, she made a mistake by expecting something from life. When expectations are broken, it really seems as if the heart has been shaken from its place. 

She chuckled humorlessly before tears spilt out of her eyes. She would have been happy if life had not kept her in such a place. 

Coming out of the bathroom while ruffling her long wet hair, she sat on the bed and stared in front blankly. She has no intentions to think about that night anymore. That night itself was painful. The man with whom she spent every night was standing with another woman that night. Even though the smile did not mean anything, he at least did try. 

Effort is a word in itself which can give a smile because the effort is definitely done with some motivation, for some reason, for someone, maybe for her?

Just one thought was enough to hurt her. And how many tears were written in her fate? How much pain she was going to receive, she wondered while sitting there. What should she do if she does not feel sorry for herself? Pity is also a poor thing. 

“Haze! You’re finally back!” She slowly turned to look at the person who called her. Irene stood there, near the door, a huge grin adorning her lips. She did not waste much time and rushed to grab Hazel into her arms, hugging her tightly. 

“Oh my god, I’m so so so happy to see you back! I missed you so much, Hazee baby!” She chirped, kissing Hazel’s temple before she pulled away with a small frown because she did not receive the same enthusiasm from Hazel’s side. 

“Hey, what happened?” She asked suddenly, her silk voice dropping at the same moment. Her eyes were holding worry. 

“Nothing, Ire, I’m-I’m good, of course!” She forced a small smile, uttering, “Why do you think so?” 

“Oh? Do you wish to hide things from me now? I can see the sadness in your eyes, don’t try to hide it!” 

“Is that so?” Hazel’s plump bottom lip trembled. Irene nodded, carefully watching Hazel as suddenly her eyes moistened. “Then why won’t He? Why doesn’t He see my sadness?” She murmured, despair falling from her lips and eyes lowered when she felt tears welling up in them. 

“Who?” whispered Irene. She palmed Hazel’s shoulder, praying that the thing she was thinking inside her head should be found in real life. 

“God…” she sobbed. Irene caressed her arm down and comforted her, saying, “He does, why did you think he doesn’t?”

“Because the life I’m living is-isn’t what I want!” 

Irene did not know what to say after that. She knew Hazel was right. And she has no answer for her. 

“It’s hard — harder when he’s in my head!”

“Who — no, don’t tell me you have fallen for him! It’s-It’s wrong!” Irene’s eyes widened when she realized she was right when somewhere in her mind, she was calculating the possibility. 

“I know, I know it is! But h-how c-can I help it? I-I like him! What can I do about it?” 

Irene was left stunned. The confession left her stunned. At the same moment, Hazel broke into tears. She was trying hard — even hardest, but could not control when he flashed through her head; passed through her bitter-sweet memories. 

“How could you, when he isn’t good at all?” 

“I don’t know what others think about him…” she wiped her face, adding, “I just know he-he was good with me. It was late but he changed for I don’t know whom but he was so good to me!” 

“Does he even love you?” 

The question as if accelerated her heartbeats. With a heavy heart and heavy eyes, she peered up at Irene and slowly shook her head, mumbling, “No.” Because she was sure he would not fall for her. Not when she was poor, uneducated and engaged in such sinful work. Her identity was itself an invisible blotch on her face. 

Irene sighed, tears threatening to spill out. Unrequited love seemed painful until she saw it with her own eyes and felt how terrible it makes someone feel. She never wished such a thing for her friend. She was too young to feel this all — such pain. But her being young was the sole reason why she felt like that; why she started adorning a man who first insulted her and then started treating her well. 

She was too innocent for that world. She had a habit of seeing the good in everyone. It was not her fault. But Irene could never even doubt Hazel’s eyes; her sense of knowing personas, because Hazel could tell the difference between good and bad in a few hours, then she had spent more than half a month with that man. 

What if he was really good? 

But Irene clenched her jaw when she looked at her friend crying like that. However he was, he made her friend cry. 

She pulled Hazel for a hug and closed her eyes, tears slipping down. “Whatever was to happen has happened. Now there is no use in tormenting yourself and crying thinking about him. Think ahead and try to forget it. It’s difficult but not impossible, I know you can do it, Haze!” She encouraged her, rubbing her back and arm soothingly. She needed rest. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her face was pale. More than anything, she was concerned about her friend. 

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This book is sequel to the first book Innocence. You have to read the first book to know the story clearly. The first book "Innocence" is available here on my Goodnovel profile. And then comes the second book "Innocence || book 2". 

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