My father opens the door looking at me like he’s surprised I’m here. I shift from one foot to another, nervous. I didn’t plan on being here today. My father called me out of the blue and summoned me here. He told me to show up at the house tonight. I wanted to make an excuse why I couldn’t come but I had a feeling he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Who’s that in the car?” My father asks looking at Simon sitting in the driver’s side of his car. I look at my father suspiciously. I say a little prayer that he doesn’t start throwing a fit. He never liked it when I brought boys over to the house. That’s why I asked Simon to stay in the car.
My dad sees pregnancy when he sees his daughters with a boy. He just thinks trouble and there’s no changing his mind. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice Simon in the car, I meant it’s almost dark outside . But I guess my father has 20/20 vision.
&ldq
“What did you want to talk to me about?” I say to my father a long silence. He hasn’t said anything to me since I walked into the living room he’s sitting on his chair staring at the window. He might be comfortable with the silence, I’m not. It freaks me out; I don’t know what to do with myself. My mind keeps raising coming up with different reasons why he called me here. And most of them end with me dead in a ditch. That’s how deep my trust issues run.Even when I was a child I didn’t feel safe with my parents. I was filled with anxiety and fear every time I had to go somewhere with him. And unfortunately my mother wasn’t any different. My saving grace was getting older. Growing up gave me choices; I could decide where I wanted to go. I only went places with my father when it was necessary, other than that I stayed home.Think about it now, it’s a little sad. How can a child not feel safe with her fathe
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Simon asks me for the 100th time. I turn from my side to my back on my bed and look at him. I’m so exhausted , I don’t think I’ve ever cried like I did tonight. I walked out of my parent’s house and just lost it. I couldn’t hold in all that fear, anger and shame. I had to cry it out and I’m so happy he was there with me. It felt good to have someone there for me.The conversation I had with my father forced me to release the hurt and I was holding on to all these years. It was scary for Simon because he didn’t know what was going on. I just started crying without warning. He held me for about ten minutes listening to me cry my heart out.He didn’t rush me with questions or push me to tell him what was wrong. He just held me and let me cry it out. I can only imagine the types of thoughts that were running through his mind when I was crying. He probably thought
“I’m sorry.” Adira says walking through the door. I breathe a sigh of relief seeing her back home. I was so worried she wasn’t going to come back. I don’t know why but I had this feeling of dread when she walked out of here with her sister. I had half the mind to go after them; I had to talk myself down and let her do what she needs to do. She didn’t need me to come to her rescue this time; I understand she needed to do this herself. She needed to make her sister respect her and she doesn’t need me holding her hand to do that. Tonight was the death of the old Adira; new Adira took control of the situation and didn’t falter. It was hard to stand back and watch her hurting but I’m glad I held back. They both needed to go through that to make sure it never happens again. “Don’t apologize you didn’t do anything wrong.” I say and she closes the door. She takes off her shoes but she doesn’t walk in any closer to me. She feels guilty about what Chloe did to me so she’
“Good morning.” Simon says walking into our bedroom. I turn over and look at his beautiful man. I can’t believe he’s all mine, I catch myself staring at him in awe sometimes. I just can’t believe that I bagged such a loyal, loving and talented human being. He’s incredible and he’s mine. “I was hoping you were up. I got tire of waiting for you to wake up.” he says getting on the bed. He smiles coming closer to me for a kiss.“Morning.” I say kissing him back. He smiles staring at me for long time. I bet he’s been up for hours. Living with him showed me that he doesn’t sleep that much. I’ve changed, I enjoy sleeping these days. I look forward to bedtime and I wake up early when I have to. I don’t get out of bed before 10 am if I don’t have to. Gone are the days of insomnia and early mornings, I love my beauty sleep.
Two years later“Hey, there is a lady here so see you.” My assistant says walking into my office. I look up at her and smile. I told her not to disturb me for the next hour but she just had to walk in here. I don’t need this today.“Have Faith do her hair, I have so much paper work to go through. I can’t take on a client right now.” I say a little annoyed. I don’t have patience to deal with clients insist I do their hair today. On a normal day I would go out and talk them down. Convince them that my staff is capable of doing the job. But today is not a normal day; I have a lot of things to get through. I have other duties besides doing hair; I have to run the business as well.I have to make sure the schedule makes sense, the suggestions box is filled to the brim and I have to figure out where to find new staff. That means I have to get an ad out, hold interviews and I have to make sure whoever I h
Enter: My childhood home bedroom. This is the year I turned fifteen and this is the same year my life changed forever.I’m sitting at the foot of my bed playing with my doll. Chloe my little sister is sitting in front of me, her doll lying next to her.“I want to play with it. I want to play with it.” Chloe says pointing to the doll in my hand, screaming of the top of her lungs. I turn my back to her facing the foot of the bed and play with my doll. She screams over and over. The louder she gets the more I shut her out.This is what happens every day of my life. I wake up and I have to deal with my thirteen year old sister screaming her lungs off about something. I’ve learned how to block her screams out.I brush my doll’s hair with my brush ignoring her continued screaming. She stops screaming for a moment, I listen to her movements behind me. I know she won’t give up that easily. Whe
“You sister needs a dress and you have the money. Just give it to her so she can go get it.” My mother says standing at my door and I look at her in disbelief, I can’t believe she’s doing this to me right now. I’m too tired to be having this conversation with her.“Okay, don’t give it to her. Lend it to me; I’ll pay you back the money when I have it.” She says knowing that she doesn’t have the money to pay me back and if I give her the money I will never get it back.She slowly walks into my room and closes the door. I didn’t invite her in but I guess this is her house. Never mind my privacy and needs. I sit up on my bed because any thoughts of taking a nap are down the drain. I know she won’t leave me alone until she gets what she wants.“Why does she have to have such an expensive dress? She can get a nice dress at a cheaper price.” I say and my mother sighs irritat
One year later I feel my heart and head settle as soon as I open my apartment door. I smile when I see my beautiful home and my yellow sofa, brings me joy every time I see it. It is a symbol of all my hard work, all the long hours standing doing people’s hair. All m y dedication gave me the ability to buy that cute but overpriced sofa. All of it gave me the ability to have a place I call home.I worked very hard to get to this point.I close the door and place my work kit in front of door. I need to clean and sanitize everything in there before I put it away. But first I need to set the mood in this apartment.I need to be in a good head space when I walk into my house. I know that’s me being extra but, I take my apartment as my place of peace. I always make sure to set good intentions before I walk in I want my home t a place of calm and settled emotions. My whole childhood was a mixture of pai
Two years later“Hey, there is a lady here so see you.” My assistant says walking into my office. I look up at her and smile. I told her not to disturb me for the next hour but she just had to walk in here. I don’t need this today.“Have Faith do her hair, I have so much paper work to go through. I can’t take on a client right now.” I say a little annoyed. I don’t have patience to deal with clients insist I do their hair today. On a normal day I would go out and talk them down. Convince them that my staff is capable of doing the job. But today is not a normal day; I have a lot of things to get through. I have other duties besides doing hair; I have to run the business as well.I have to make sure the schedule makes sense, the suggestions box is filled to the brim and I have to figure out where to find new staff. That means I have to get an ad out, hold interviews and I have to make sure whoever I h
“Good morning.” Simon says walking into our bedroom. I turn over and look at his beautiful man. I can’t believe he’s all mine, I catch myself staring at him in awe sometimes. I just can’t believe that I bagged such a loyal, loving and talented human being. He’s incredible and he’s mine. “I was hoping you were up. I got tire of waiting for you to wake up.” he says getting on the bed. He smiles coming closer to me for a kiss.“Morning.” I say kissing him back. He smiles staring at me for long time. I bet he’s been up for hours. Living with him showed me that he doesn’t sleep that much. I’ve changed, I enjoy sleeping these days. I look forward to bedtime and I wake up early when I have to. I don’t get out of bed before 10 am if I don’t have to. Gone are the days of insomnia and early mornings, I love my beauty sleep.
“I’m sorry.” Adira says walking through the door. I breathe a sigh of relief seeing her back home. I was so worried she wasn’t going to come back. I don’t know why but I had this feeling of dread when she walked out of here with her sister. I had half the mind to go after them; I had to talk myself down and let her do what she needs to do. She didn’t need me to come to her rescue this time; I understand she needed to do this herself. She needed to make her sister respect her and she doesn’t need me holding her hand to do that. Tonight was the death of the old Adira; new Adira took control of the situation and didn’t falter. It was hard to stand back and watch her hurting but I’m glad I held back. They both needed to go through that to make sure it never happens again. “Don’t apologize you didn’t do anything wrong.” I say and she closes the door. She takes off her shoes but she doesn’t walk in any closer to me. She feels guilty about what Chloe did to me so she’
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Simon asks me for the 100th time. I turn from my side to my back on my bed and look at him. I’m so exhausted , I don’t think I’ve ever cried like I did tonight. I walked out of my parent’s house and just lost it. I couldn’t hold in all that fear, anger and shame. I had to cry it out and I’m so happy he was there with me. It felt good to have someone there for me.The conversation I had with my father forced me to release the hurt and I was holding on to all these years. It was scary for Simon because he didn’t know what was going on. I just started crying without warning. He held me for about ten minutes listening to me cry my heart out.He didn’t rush me with questions or push me to tell him what was wrong. He just held me and let me cry it out. I can only imagine the types of thoughts that were running through his mind when I was crying. He probably thought
“What did you want to talk to me about?” I say to my father a long silence. He hasn’t said anything to me since I walked into the living room he’s sitting on his chair staring at the window. He might be comfortable with the silence, I’m not. It freaks me out; I don’t know what to do with myself. My mind keeps raising coming up with different reasons why he called me here. And most of them end with me dead in a ditch. That’s how deep my trust issues run.Even when I was a child I didn’t feel safe with my parents. I was filled with anxiety and fear every time I had to go somewhere with him. And unfortunately my mother wasn’t any different. My saving grace was getting older. Growing up gave me choices; I could decide where I wanted to go. I only went places with my father when it was necessary, other than that I stayed home.Think about it now, it’s a little sad. How can a child not feel safe with her fathe
My father opens the door looking at me like he’s surprised I’m here. I shift from one foot to another, nervous. I didn’t plan on being here today. My father called me out of the blue and summoned me here. He told me to show up at the house tonight. I wanted to make an excuse why I couldn’t come but I had a feeling he wouldn’t take no for an answer.“Who’s that in the car?” My father asks looking at Simon sitting in the driver’s side of his car. I look at my father suspiciously. I say a little prayer that he doesn’t start throwing a fit. He never liked it when I brought boys over to the house. That’s why I asked Simon to stay in the car.My dad sees pregnancy when he sees his daughters with a boy. He just thinks trouble and there’s no changing his mind. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice Simon in the car, I meant it’s almost dark outside . But I guess my father has 20/20 vision.&ldq
“Hi.” Chloe says opening the door. The smile on my face immediately turns into a frown. If she’s opening the door it means Adira is not home yet. I look down the hall contemplating if I should go wait for Adira downstairs. I don’t want to be with Chloe alone, I don’t trust her at all. “Adira is not home yet, that means we have time to talk. Come in.” She says opening the door wider.She smiles at me and I can feel my gut stand on its feet. It is telling to get the hell out of here. I’m not comfortable with this at all. I take out my phone and dial Adira’s number. I need to find out where she is and she needs to know where I am.“Hey, I’m running a little late. I’m sorry.” She says answering on the second ring. “I got an extra appointment I didn’t plane for.” She adds and I feel guilty for bothering her. I bet she’s swamped right now. I just ha
“I want to talk to you about something.” I say to Adira and she looks at me for a moment unsure. She sits up on her bed staring at me. I look at her beautiful face hoping she will be open to what I’m about to tell her. I hope she sees the good in it and not the disaster. Want her to be with me on this so bad, if she says yes our life would be so good together.“I feel like you’re about to tell me something life altering.” She says looking at me sideways. She’s not wrong; I want us to change our life for the better. This is going to be hard for her I know but I’m with her all the way.“Well.” I say and she bulges her eyes out scared. I want to calm her down and tell her it’s nothing big but I don’t know if that’s true. Moving is big thing, asking her to uproot her life for me is a big thing. I am asking the world of her but I promise t give her the world too.“
“I feel sleepy; I think we should turn in.” Adira says to Simon and they give each other that cheesy, we’re in love smile that I hate. They look so perfect and happy together. I hate that Adira has so much happiness with someone. I know it’s wrong but I love it when she’s unhappy, especially when I’m happy but I don’t care. It lets me know that I’m not a failure, it’s lets me know that I’m not alone. Seeing her with Simon makes feel so lonely, it hurts to know that I’m in this alone. “That’s sad I thought you guys were going to stay up with me for a little while longer.” I say smiling at Simon sweetly. I’m talking to him anyways; I want him to stay up all night with me. I don’t care about Adira she can go sleep alone. I want to hear more of his funny childhood stories. He’s a very cool guy, I get why Adira is so in love with him. I would be obsessed with him too if he was my boyfriend. In fact I’m not ashamed to sa