Chapter 2

Neither of us said anything else in the quiet room.

When the phone beeps came through, I finally realized that the undertaker had hung up on me.

I smiled self-deprecatingly.

God must be pulling a really nasty joke on me.

He would not even let me die a peaceful death.

Since my plan to take my own life had been delayed, I used some gauze to wrap up my wounds so that I would not die too quickly.

Then, I opened WhatsApp in the hopes that I could get someone to collect my body.

But even when I scrolled through my contacts, I found that I had fewer than a hundred contacts, and half of them were just acquaintances I made so that we could bulk buy stuff at a lower price.

I went to Instagram and saw Lydia Marsh, my sister.

Then, I clicked on her Instagram profile.

I saw the pictures she uploaded there.

She got those when our family celebrated her birthday with her.

Everyone was smiling happily.

I did not dare like the post, because that would make me look like a neglected child who was peeking at love and happiness that did not belong to me.

Honestly, I chose to die today because it was my birthday today as well.

I was born only a few hours apart from Lydia.

Since we were children, my family only ever seemed to remember her birthday, but never mine.

But that was no longer important.

I was finally fulfilling their wish.

They just needed to collect my body.

I would never show my face in front of them anymore.

I went back to WhatsApp and tapped on our family group chat.

I tentatively keyed in a few words.

Maria: Um… If anyone sees this message, please come to 304, Unit 1, Garden Road to help pick up my body.

I stared at the screen as I thought, “Perhaps they would think I’m pitiful and would help pick up my body.”

But after waiting for a long time, all I got was my parents exiting the group chat.

I was then forced to become the admin of the group.

I refused to give up and asked one more time.

Maria: I’m begging you, please. If anyone sees this message, please answer.

Perhaps they got fed up with me, but someone finally replied. It was my younger brother, Jake Marsh.

Jake: Could you stop?

Lydia chimed in as well.

Lydia: Maria, I’m sorry. I know that it’s your birthday today too. Please calm down. I’ll ask Dad, Mom, and our brothers to look for you.

Blake Marsh, my second brother, replied.

Blake: Ignore her. If she wants to die, so be it.

Those words made my blood run cold. My last hope was dashed.

I wiped away my tears and exited the group chat.

Just when I wanted to turn my phone off, I received a call from Aaron Marsh, my eldest brother.

I answered it in a daze and was immediately greeted with Aaron’s enraged voice.

“Could you stop? Hurry up and delete the messages in the group chat. Don’t you know it’s Lydia’s birthday today? Why are you saying you want to take your own life at this point in time? Whose day are you trying to ruin now?!”

He poured out a torrent of verbal abuse at me, and my heart hurt so much that I could not breathe.

But I forced myself to be calm and said, “Okay, I’ll do it now.”

I went to the group chat and started deleting all of the messages I sent.

Halfway through, I received a notification.

Blake, Aaron, and Jake had left the group chat.

Lydia was the only one left.

As if she was boasting, she took pictures of her birthday presents.

Lydia: Do you want them, Maria? Since I already have so many presents, why don’t I give them to you? You won’t scoff at them, right? All that I have is yours, anyway. We’re a family, after all.

As I looked through the photos, I knew that she was doing this on purpose.

In the past, I would definitely argue about it with her.

Then, she would tell on me to our mother.

But I no longer cared.

I deleted the group chat and slumped down on the floor.

Since I had lost too much blood, my reflection in the mirror looked eerily pale.

I curled up in a dark corner and hugged myself tightly.

At the very end of my end, I came to one realization: I did not have a home.