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I Am Not Myself
I Am Not Myself
Author: Zaysh

Chapter 1

Author: Zaysh
last update Last Updated: 2022-11-07 01:33:23

Chris Melberg: I was sleeping and woke up to the sound of a phone call. It was my dad calling me. I picked up the phone and I said in a sleepy voice.

"Hey dad".

"Hy, how are you? We were worried about you". Dad said.

"I am fine and everything's good".

"Are you taking your medicines regularly?" Mom asked.

"Yes, I am taking them" (Still in a sleepy voice).

"Are you happy there? Is that island good for you?"Dad said. They both were talking to me on the phone's loudspeaker.

"Yes, I am okay here. Nobody knows about me. It's a small island. There is a beautiful beach. A small forest in which a pack of werewolves is living. I am receiving my treatment. I am good here". I said in a normal voice and quickly, making sure to answer all the things they weren't asking but they wanted to ask.

"Well, that's good. Are the werewolves good with you being there? We told everyone that you wanted to live as a lone wolf and that's why you left the pack. We didn't tell them about your disease. We told the pack that we don't talk to you". Dad said.

"It's okay. I know it's for the best. And yes, the pack living here knew about me. They probably smelled me. But they didn't say anything to me. I usually remain as a wolf at night time. So, there isn't any chance they ignored my scent."

That's good and how is…… ah… My mom took a pause while speaking and I completed by saying..

"How is…….is…. Nick? Right."

"Yeah". She said in a low voice.

"I am trying to coexist with him. He only came out at night. And at night I turned myself into a wolf. Surprisingly, he didn't change himself into a human and I always woke up as my true self. He just likes to go on a beach at night in his wolf form and stare at the moon."

"Maybe treatment is working." Dad said.

"No, the doctor said that for my recovery he needs to get out of me and face the secrets with me, which he has been hiding."

"It's quite complicated." I said and then Dad said. "We just want you to be happy."

"That's why we left that island and that house. We were living as a happy family back then but after that incident, just for you we moved from the island and joined a pack here in this hidden forest." Dad said.

"Thank you mom and dad, for…..for…everything."

"Oh, come on. You are our only child. We love you." Dad said.

"Well, technically I am not your only child. I have one more hiding in me." I said while smiling.

"Yes, we also love him. Tell him we love him if he comes out." Mom said.

"I don't think so, he has the same emotions for you both. Because you want my recovery and my recovery means his death."

"You both are one for us. We love you in any form. So as you said, technically he is also our son living with you." Dad said probably while smiling.

"Okay, we have to go for a pack meeting. We will call you later. We know you were sleeping." Mom said.

"And you distrubed my sleep. Okay, then bye. Take care of yourselves."

I again went to sleep. I often get tired after transformation into a human. So, I needed sleep.

Ashley Falls: I was going towards my college, quickly walking on the pavement. There were only two or three colleges on the island. But they were advanced. Because of less population, these colleges were enough for students.

I was watching the beach on my way to college. The waves of the water were washing the sand and the sand was shining with the early rays of sun. I always come to the beach at night to watch the stars and moon. I love to spend time while thinking and watching them at night.

I tried to move quickly because I was getting late. I was breathing heavily. I decided to do a little makeup after reaching college. I didn't get time in the morning to do so.

I was on my way listening to the songs from earphones connected to my phone. 

Someone held my right hand and turned me around with force. The earphones dropped from my ears. 

A very good looking and handsome boy was standing in front of me, looking right into my eyes. He was holding my hand tightly and I was trying to understand the situation.

I tried to free my hand from his hold but he didn't let me do it. 

"Leave me. Leave my hand, you freak." I shouted.

He was still making eye contact and then he slowly opened his fist and let my hand go. I looked at my hand and then to him. I examined his whole getup and his looks. I looked at him from head to toe.

He had little curly, dark brown hair. His skin color was a bit pale like the people who live in snow and his blue eyes were adding to his beauty. The dark red lips were like red strawberries which were visible from far away. And a tattoo on the side of his neck which wasn't much visible because of his jacket. But I saw a little tattoo on his wrist and it was saying,"I AM NOT MYSELF".

I bet if anyone meets him for the first time, they will probably notice his dark red lips first. He was wearing a dark black jacket and a white t-shirt. His shoes were black and white sneakers and his jeans pants were also black.

No emotions on his face. The first thing that came to mind after examining him from head to toe in a minute was " A bad boy". He was looking like those handsome bad boys shown in movies. He was still looking at my face without moving.

My hand was hurting a bit and I tried to lower the pain by covering it with my other hand and by putting pressure on it.

"Who are you?" I asked in anger with the eyes that were ready to kill him in a minute. How dare he hold my hand like that and force me to turn.

"I love you". He answered with no expressions on his face.

Zaysh

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    Ashley Falls:I got shocked and I quickly said,"What? You…….. you love me? This is a joke? Right?" I laughed nervously. "Is there a camera around to wave? I know there should be a camera behind that tree." I pointed out a tree in a direction. "Behind that tree, right?"I waved and said, "hey guys I got pranked.""Look, you pranked me but I am really in a hurry. I need to reach my college. Ok, you made my day. Thank you. Bye." I didn't let him speak and said all these things quickly. I turned around and was about to move. He held my bag tightly and pulled me backward. I tried to take a step ahead again but he again held my bag and pulled me backward. I frowned and slowly turned around, then I laughed nervously."What? "I speaked in a low voice repressing my anger. I knew a handsome/good-looking type of bad boy was standing in front of me."I love you." He said again with the same serious expressions."You love me. Huh. Listen, I am not into bad boys. And you are looking like one of th

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    Ashley Falls: "At least you are admitting that he has feelings for you."Jane said."Nooo… he is a stranger to me and you gave my number to him. I didn't even know him. I saw him for the first time.""Well, you need that stranger. If he is playing with you even then you can get some benefits. He looks rich." Jane said."What are you talking about?" I said."It's for your good. You don't have any choice. Maybe you need him. Maybe that's what fate is, you need someone and that person showed up for you." Jane said."You are confusing me. And I don't think he will come back. I made it very clear to him that I don't want him.""Let's see what happens." Jane said."Let's see." I said."I know he's gonna come."She patted my shoulder and teased me."Come on. Don't do that." I blushed and said."Let's go and eat something. I will pay." Jane said.Chris Melberg: I woke up in the afternoon and saw a note beside my bed. It was a picture of a girl and behind that picture Nick, my alter ego wrote th

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    Chris Melberg:I went home. I was very tired after the transformation, so I just wanted to sleep. Even though I didn't know if I am going to come back as me or as him. My PTSD partner, my alter ego Nick Melberg. After that incident in my childhood I created him to get rid of those memories. And now I again want to get rid of him to get my memories back.I don't know what he has done in my absence but he thought that he had found his mate. And that mate is human. A human can't be a mate of a werewolf. I need to recover.Ashley Falls: I got kicked out of my room because I didn't pay the rent. I went to my friend Jane but I can't live with her either. She is also living in a room on rent. She came from a small town. I didn't want to cause trouble to her. I went to find a job and thankfully I got a job as a waitress in a small restaurant.I got a phone call and it was the owner of the house in which I got a room on rent. He said that I can come tomorrow again because the rent is paid and s

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    Ashley Falls: "When I told Jane, she asked me not to trust you. She said he is a bad rich brat who wants to use you but I said nooo, his feelings for me looked pure. So, I should give him a chance. You know she also said that you probably made a bet with your friends to win me. That's why you came after me." I laughed nervously."Then, what did you say?" He asked with cold expressions.I was happy that he was actually believing me and I said, "what did I say……. I said that nooo, he didn't look like that. He looked cool"."But you said that I am not your type". He said."Hah, haha, I was joking back then. I thought that you were pranking me. I am totally into bad cold boys". I again laughed nervously and drank water.Waiter came and he handed me the menu. I was looking at the dishes and I didn't know any of them. It was my first time in a fancy restaurant. Have you decided ma'am. Waiter asked.Ah,..... I was just speechless and then he said, "we want pizza of all flavors. And we want

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    Ashley Falls: He took a bite of the piece of cake and asked me to take a bite. I took a bite of the piece of cake from his hand. He put that piece on the table and licked his two fingers which were holding the cake. He was looking very hot. I was looking at his fingers.He again cut the cake and I burst the party pooper. A loud sound came and glittering substances began to fall from the sky. I was looking at them and unintentionally I was smiling. It was the first time that I smiled genuinely in all troubles. I looked at him and noticed that he was staring at me all the time."What happened?"I gestured with my eyes."Your smile is magical." He said with rude, cold expressions and in a serious voice.I didn't know what to say. Somebody never said that to me."Oh, aaaa thanks. Thank you very much." I looked at him. He was still looking at me. I quickly started to look at the room. "Waoo. You did a great job. All these balloons and decorations. I thought that you would like to celebrate y

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  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 7

    Chris Melberg: "Yes, because of you." Emma shouted as loud as she could, making a fist and pointing her index finger at me."No way, I came here first. You were the one who started talking". I said and tried to maintain a normal voice."Oh really, and you were a little child who didn't know how to talk. I forced you to talk to me". She said in a sarcastic way, lowering her voice."What's the problem with you? You got what you want, A book"."What about my self respect? You are such a big werewolf but you don't know how to whisper". She said,"Okay," I shouted after hearing the word werewolf and then said in a low voice, "Okay I didn't know how to whisper. I am sorry". I tried to finish the fight.She was staring at me and then she said,"I thought it's hard for male werewolves to admit their mistakes because of their so-called ego. But you are not like that, it's a good sign". "Can I get that book?" I asked because I really needed help to stop Nick."Actually I also need that book. To

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    Ashley Falls: "I'll pick you in an hour" I mimicked him with ugly expressions. You idiot, stupid. You hung up on me. I am just not saying anything because I need money otherwise I won't even look at you. I murmured in my mouth and Jane heard. She started laughing."What?" I said in anger to Jane. She stopped laughing and shrugged her shoulders.How could he not even listen to my reply? He was just ordering me. I do have self respect. I felt humiliated. And I was very much in anger. I got ready to go out with him. Again I didn't wear any special clothes. Slight makeup on my face with my casual clothes. I wasn't dying to go out with him. He should know that. Someone knocked at the door. After checking out who was outside, I opened the door. He also didn't wear any special clothes. Same black clothes. Black t-shirt, black jeans, black jacket, black and white sneakers, black chain around his neck and he was wearing two black rings on his fingers. One on the middle finger and one on the t

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Latest chapter

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 31

    Emma Gray: "What type of question is that? Emma!" While showing worry in his eyes, dad asked. "That's not an answer ". I replied. Mom put her hand on dad's hand and looked at me. "Honey! Are we really talking about this? It's been twenty three years. None of us aged. Of course, we adopt you because we won't age and have any children. And you are just like us"."So, you are saying that Daniel Morris didn't ask you guys to adopt me and he is not giving you any money till now for adopting me". Getting up from my chair, keeping my voice low, suppressing the fits of anger surging in me, I said. My eyes were dark green."Emma! Who said that?". After hearing me, dad asked, And they both also stood up from their chairs. "Did Chris say that?". Mom asked. They both looked nervous. "It doesn't matter who said that. What matters is that you both are not denying it". I shouted."Emma! Baby, look we both were waiting for the right time to tell you". Dad said in a low voice, extending his hands, gest

  • I Am Not Myself    chapter 30

    Ashley Falls: "yes, you are". Finally he answered. "Then who is she? I can't ignore your suspicious behavior anymore"."She is a vampire. She can't be my mate. She just likes me and I like you". Again seriousness and cold behavior was very evident. The same emptiness was glowing in his eyes. How can someone change his style so often? I was surprised and was looking at him carefully. He didn't speak a word."So, I am your mate? Right?" I again tried to confirm."Yes". One word answer, am I being stupid for trusting him? I can clearly see the red flags. Why am I ignoring them? Is that what true love is? I was thinking all these things and he was just looking at me like he was seeing me after a long time. "I am scared and I need some rest. We will talk later". After hearing me, he just turned and walked away.I was also going in the house but at the same moment, Jane came to meet. "Can I stay with you today?" She asked. She also looked tired and sad. I asked her, "What happened?" Did she

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 29

    Chris Melberg: Both me and Ashley quickly turned around. Emma was standing right there, watching us. It was shocking to see Emma in front of Ashley's house but it was more terrifying to see her with fangs, burning in anger. She didn't give a chance to speak anything and without blinking an eye, she was in front of us, trying to attack Ashley but fortunately I was there and I held Emma by grabbing her by the shoulders. Ashley was hiding behind me and she said in a shaky voice, "Nick! Who…..is she?""Ashley! You need to go to your house now and lock the door". I said while holding Emma from attacking Ashley. Ashley went inside her house. It was hard for her to move but she managed to get in the house."Emma! Please come to your senses. What's happening to you? It's not what you think it is. Please! Listen to me first". While pushing her back, I said. " It is what it seems". She said and gave a punch to my face. "No, it's not like that". I again tried to hold her by grabbing her shoulder

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 28

    Ryan Morris: When I opened my eyes. I was still sitting on the chair, but in a room. "What….. happened?" I hardly spoke and found it hard to speak. I was even finding difficulty in opening my eyes properly. Everything looked blurry. I tried to move my hands and was shocked that they were chained with the chair by a silver chain. And my legs were also chained with the chair."What's happening here? What are you doing?" I completely came to my senses and asked in a loud voice. Because I couldn't see anyone there. "Nothing darling! You are being tested". Jane's voice came from behind."Tested? For what?" Looking here and there by moving my head, trying to find Jane, I said. "For being dangerous. Ever since I met you, bad things have been happening to me. And now I come to know that you were messing with me. Since you are a son of a vampire". Jane slowly came in front of me and said those words."I am not doing anything to you". I replied.Jane Miller: I tied Ryan to the chair with silver

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 27

    Ashley Falls: Jane woke me up by hitting on my shoulder. I woke up quickly. "What happened? Jane!". She was shivering with fear. She pointed at the window with her hand. "Someone's hitting the window". She said in a low voice. Sweat was pouring out of her face and hands. Even some of her hair was also covering her face. I slowly looked at the window. And I realized who was striking the window. I got up from the bed. " Be careful!". Jane said quickly. I opened the window. And Nick was there. He sometimes knocks on the window at night. As he always comes to meet me at night. .I opened the door for Nick and told Jane that Nick struck the window of my room sometimes to wake me up. He didn't know Jane was staying at my place. Jane was still in the room, trying to sleep.I was in the living room with Nick. "Jane was scared to hell because of your hitting on the window". I said to Nick."Why's she here at your house?". Nick asked.I told Nick that Jane was sensing someone with her. Nick to

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 26

    Ryan Morris: "What do you want to tell me?" Emma asked on the phone. Before I could say anything, I heard Chris' voice instead of Emma from the phone. "Ryan! We are busy right now. She will call you later". He hung up the phone. Emma was with Chris when I called her. He stopped me again from telling her the truth.Emma Gray: I was with Chris in the cafe and Ryan called. He wanted to tell me something but Chris butted in. I thought there was something suspicious but I didn't ask Chris about it. The look on his face was giving the signs that something is wrong. I asked him if Ryan told him anything about his parents. But Chris just said, "No, nothing yet. But we are getting close to each other. And I am sure he will soon tell us about his parents. He pretends to be happy but he is a lone teenager who needs anyone to care for him"."I hope, he just tells us about his parents quickly. So I would become a wolf again and be with you as your true mate". I said to Chris.While taking a sip o

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 25

    Emma Gray: "You are completely covered with a smell of some filthy werewolf". Raising her voice, my mom said."Mom! It's not what you think". Getting extremely nervous, I said."Then, what is it? Sweetheart! We are worried about you". Dad asked.I felt like I was in an interrogation room but I wasn't in their place. Maybe that's why I didn't understand them. What should I have told them? I made a lie."I went to see my old house and my old wolf fellows. I secretly saw my old biological parents. I asked a werewolf about that vampire who converted me. And all that"."Emma, baby! How many times have I told you that you can't go back to your old life? Suppose you find that vampire, how are you gonna fight him? Are you as powerful as him? He is one of the oldest vampires and he has support of that powerful witch. It's dangerous for you. You can't do that to us, to yourself. So, please no more werewolves". Lowering her voice, trying to explain to me, mom said.I didn't say anything in resp

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 24

    Chris Melberg: I was staring at Ryan. I gestured to him to say no to her invitation by moving my face a bit and by rolling my eyes. " Of course. I am free tomorrow. I would love to come to the party". Ryan said to Jane."Perfect, then we would meet tomorrow. Also you are the first to get an invitation". Jane said to Ryan, letting his hand go."We will discuss the preparation later". She said to me while thinking that she was talking to Nick. Finally, she departed."You don't dare to go to that birthday party". I looked at Ryan and said. "Why? I am the first guest to get an invitation, man". Ryan said to me."Because it's my friend's party". Annoyed by his answer, I replied. "So what? I would love to see you there tomorrow. Bye". Ryan said to me and left the house. Emma Gray: I was driving to Chris's house. Yesterday, I answered him on the phone. I was eager to meet him. I desperately wanted to become a wolf again. He didn't know that I could also feel the mate bond that he felt with

  • I Am Not Myself    Chapter 23

    Chris Melberg: I quickly put my hand on the phone's speaker. I asked Ashley to wait for a minute by gesturing my hand to her. I went out and asked Emma," Which question?". "That one you asked me when we first met". She answered."Really?". Surprised by her answer, I asked in excitement."And the answer to that question is yes. I am ready to date you. I am ready to enter into a new relationship with you. I remember you said that people love each other, so that they can go on a journey of different emotions, together. I am ready to go on a new journey with you. I am ready to make memories with you. We will take our relationship to a next level after I turn back into a werewolf again". She said all these things quickly. She sounded excited and happy."I am really happy. And I can't wait for the time when you will turn into a werewolf again. When you will feel our mate bond for the first time. When your heart will beat fast and your eyes will turn colour after seeing me, after touching m

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