"I'm rooting for you, bella. Even after you broke my heart so many times. No matter though. We'll fix everything once you remember who you belong to," said his shrill voice moments before he took the gag off and cut the ropes around my wrists and ankles. Moments before he dumped me in this place that I soiled with blood many times, human and animal alike. The hallucinations were a bitch to deal with. The guilt from seeing everything I did all those years ago play out all around me weighed heavily on me. Once, I took out a guy's eye with a dart because he dared to win a game against Don Angelo. Another time I cut out someone's brachial plexus after he stole from Don Angelo. Honestly, the gunshot injuries, which were the norm, may have been more humane. "Always start with the kneecaps. Hurts like a motherfucker," said Don Angelo the very first time I held a gun with a man before me in these very woods. In an ideal situation, the ankles and elbows were next. It was never about slow
I can't remember who you are, but baby you could take a girl to hell and make her beg to stay. Because I was in hell and yet I just couldn't quit. Had to kiss him one more time. Hold his hand one more time. Hear him speak one more time. Stay awake. Stay alert. Next question: what was his name? Remember his name, Stacy. Remember his name. Distracted by apparitions of my mystery man, Joey caught me off guard, wrestling me to the ground. "Die, you traitorous bitch," he said, lowering the muzzle of his gun to my forehead. "That's sorella to you," I said, not hesitating to shove my gun into his groin and pull the trigger. He rolled off of me into the fetal position while covering his junk, refusing to let his gun go. I crawled to a tree and pulled myself up against it until I was on my feet again. "You could have shot my dick off. I'm going to fucking kill you, you crazy whore," he screamed in agony, blood pooling around his hands and gun. … You're not some conquest. You're
Jeff was going to lose his shit when he found out what I walked into despite him expressly forbidding me from accompanying either him or Luca. "A psychotic murderer wants his apprentice to kill you. Just because you happen to be sleeping with her, doesn't mean you should be stupid enough to go near her right now, Scott," Jeff preached to me just this morning. In hindsight, he was probably right. Based on Luca and I losing the shoot out that ensued when we finally found the right place, I'd say we were dead men walking. Even if I knew how this would play out beforehand, I'd have come out here to find her regardless. Was it stupid that I was happy about seeing her soon? I could feel myself becoming calmer with every step I took towards her. Three fucking days of torturing myself with where she was, how she was, whether she was dead or alive. I was just relieved to know that I'd found her. Stupidly hopeful despite the implications of what three days in a place like this could do to
An overwhelming surge of affection hit me like a tidal wave, drenching me to the bone in love. His love meant having a conscience though. The horror of me standing over my near defenseless brother hit next, making my hands shake so hard I almost dropped the gun. "Shut your fucking mouth, you annoying, whiny, idiot," said Don Angelo, pulling up in a Jeep. I couldn't do this. This wasn't me. Not anymore. There were fates worse than death. Being by Don Angelo's side for life. Being without Scott. He wouldn't understand. He wouldn't love me anymore. I can't live in a world where you don't love me, Scott. "Dad please. Make her stop. She deserves this, not me. She's the traitor," Joey cried, raising the gun at me with shaky hands. Before I knew it, Don Angelo was by my side, breathing down my neck. Waiting for me to perform. "Seven shots. Do me proud. Make them count," said Don Angelo, kicking the gun out of Joey's hand. "Such creative choices. Where would you like the next
Jeff didn't trust me for shit. He had a tracker sewn into my jacket before he left to check out a lead this morning. That came after I defied him multiple times to check out possible places Don Angelo may be with Luca. As was the case once again. The real question was how long would it take him to realize Luca and I were both missing? "I mean they're the ones with the guns, but sure," I said, shaking my head as I threw him a glance. "These guys? Mere foot soldiers. I'm not worried about them," Luca said nonchalantly. "What worries me is what you'll say when you come face to face with your worst nightmare." "Shut up and walk," the guy behind us said, nudging Luca with his gun. What was I going to say to her? No matter how desperately I wanted this, I wasn't ready to see her and I knew it. Despite Luca's warnings about what was coming, my brain was far too fixated on the reunion. It was skipping right past the life and death situation we were in. I didn't have a plan. I hadn't bee
"Spare me," he croaked out. "Please don't kill me, Stacy." My eyes wouldn't let me look at him. I was scared shitless. Of her. Of my beautiful girl. Shook to the core. Then Don Angelo spoke and the anger returned with a vengeance. "You're a little early, Scott. You don't mind if we finish up here before we get to you, do you? Don't worry, you're next," said Don Angelo, throwing me a manic smirk. The sick fuck was having the time of his life. She took her eyes off the man on the ground to look towards me, but the soulless eyes remained. She was looking right through me. Like I didn't mean shit to her. "Don't," Luca seethed, keeping his voice low. "No sudden movements. You want to be useful? Use your head. Fucking talk to her." That look. Those dull eyes. I knew what came next. If I opened my mouth, she'd be in pain. "Hi Luca. Long time no see. Thanks for gift wrapping yourself for me. Our little spat was becoming a nuisance. We'll deal with you after Scott," said Don Angelo, h
I thought back to Prague, when she didn't believe that I loved her. That was what my girl needed now. To believe she was loved, despite her holding her own brother at gunpoint. If I couldn't sell it, Luca and I were dead men. I didn't know if Luca believed what he said, but he was right. Don Angelo and Stacy weren't a them. Not yet. Not until she pulled that trigger. Whether Don Angelo knew it or not, despite him giving her orders, he gave her all the control. She was in charge. That was the cost of begging for her love. She took you over completely. Who knew better than me? This was her party. Luca, Don Angelo and I were just guests. What was it that got her to put away the dull eyes in Prague and believe then? I know I fucked her, but that wasn't it. She wouldn't have let me inside her if she didn't believe I loved her first. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as fear caught up with me and I finally opened my mouth to speak to her. Baby, please use your brilliant
"Do you want me to shut him up, boss?" the guy behind me asked. "If you fucking touch him, I'll put a bullet in you," she said, her voice hoarse but stern. She still wouldn't look at me, but the words had my heart soaring with hope. "Oh that's hilarious. Do you actually think some boy with puppy dog eyes is going to make you any less my heir?" Don Angelo's poisonous voice filled the air, followed by a boisterous laugh. Don't focus on him. Focus on her. Don't think about being in a desperate tug of war for her love with the mad man controlling the guns. It only mattered that she was the one controlling him. Baby, how strong is your love for me? Is it stronger than his hold on you? "How many times do you have to hear that you're mine, baby? Obviously that includes this. Oh and I love you too," I said with a calm smile, blocking Don Angelo's presence out to lay my heart at her feet one more time. This one was a reference to a moment we had in the coffee shop where she worked
That last part was such a her thing to say. Was that really what she thought? It would explain how I apparently caught her off guard. "Please, for the love of God, let me sleep and shower first. There are dark circles under my eyes. And my make up—" What the fuck was she talking about? She was fucking flawless. Perfect in all her imperfections. "Shut up. I won the bet about Kenny and Marlene," I said, laying the phone down on the ground and starting the five minute timer. "So now Scott says shut up. You've said more than enough in the last few hours. Now just listen." She clasped her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth nervously, her eyes dropping to the timer. Words failed me. I had a whole speech and everything. Even if I didn't, I was me. I always knew what to say, except right that second I was tongue tied. "That photo's taunting me," I said, spitting out the thought in my he
By this point, she had me watching her from behind a lens. Flashes of the thousands of times she had me taking her photo went through my mind. Watching her was my favorite thing to do until she started letting me touch her. I loved every last one of them. Studied the thousands of photos frequently, especially this past week, like some junkie trying to get a fix. The sweet ones where she looked like an angel. The dirty ones where she looked like the perfect whore. The goofy ones that I made sure I was a part of. The everyday ones where she had a pencil in her hair while she read or picked something out at the grocery store. Every last photo I took of her and every memory attached to it flooded my brain. "Fucking stunning every time," I said, trying to calm my raging heart as the sun began to rise, the silhouette of her before it. Slightly trembling fingers took several photos, as the excitement of holding a camera surg
"Can't we do this another time? Surises come along every day and it's been such a long night," Stacy moped. Not this sunrise. Not this moment I wanted to give her. It was all she could do to hold onto the tripod towards the end, so I let her get on my back and gave her a piggyback ride the rest of the way up my mountain. "You knew this was coming. I warned you I'd be making you miserable by bringing you out here before the crack of dawn while we were in Fiji. Sacrifices have to be made to please your future husband, Stace," I said, enjoying the feel of her body pressed up against my back. The morning was chilly, contrasting with her body heat. Or was I sweating? Maybe she was right and this just wasn't our moment. It would come once though. The sunrise of our one year anniversary. I had this picture of how it was going to go down in my head and I just wasn't ready to give it up. "On our anniversary? We just spent two ho
"Is the world's greatest commitment phobe still proposing today after this shit storm?" Kenny asked me as I watched Stacy sit across from Jeff to read through her immunity deal. "You just get the champagne ready. Be on standby, Ken. Call in sick. You'll get the call soon," I said, sharing an excited smile with him before I opened the door to Jeff's office to sit down next to Stacy. "You can have your lawyer look it over before you sign. Take your time," said Jeff, waiting patiently on her. "She's her own lawyer. She's like two classes away from being one?" I boasted as I watched her brilliant mind go to work while she read. "Three," she corrected me, eyes still darting over the words on the page. "Besides, we trust you. Don't we, Scott?" That's what she said, but she carried on combing the document. In about two minutes, she'd have tons of questions for him. "Yes, we do," I said to my fath
"I will never let anyone hurt him, Ken. On my life, I will always keep him safe," she professed one more time. "I know you will, Stace. For the record, you were always my favorite best friend," he said, cautiously wrapping his arms around her as he started sobbing. "Same Ken," she said, returning his embrace readily, rubbing his back. Eyes still on me, she stuck her tongue out at me, making me chuckle as I got up to join them. "Un-fucking-believable. What am I, chopped liver?" I said, watching Kenny pull back as I shot him a nasty look. "You're okay. Tolerable. Second best. I keep you around because of her," he said, wiping away his tears with the back of his sleeves. "I can't believe you fucking told her you were proposing. What the fuck is wrong with you? How will you survive marriage?" His stupid remark had us chuckling between the three of us. We all wrapped an arm around the other an
There was that promise of forever she said I couldn't have until I asked her to marry me. It was as good as a yes to my proposal. My heart was doing flip flops in my chest. I knew it was for their benefit, maybe even just because she was nervous about talking to them instead of me, but her words were aimed directly at me. Sweeping me right off my feet. Claiming every bit of me as hers. Allowing me to let go of the tiny part of me that wondered if she really could have killed me in those woods. It wasn't just luck or the words I said to her that made her want to save me. I was happy if I gave her the strength to do what she needed to do, but I firmly believed she would have gotten there anyway. She had been doing it for eight years. From the moment we met, she had been protecting me. Even when she pushed me away. She chose me for eight years. Came back again and again, no matter how many times Don Angelo called her home, to make me fall dee
He pulled out a chair for himself, then one for me, urging me to sit next to him. With a resigned sigh, I sat down two chairs away from Kenny, as close to Stacy as I could. I gave Willow and my mom a pleading look so they would follow suite across the table. Stacy took her seat and folded her hands in front of her. Folding her hands was her tell for when she was nervous. They all looked away uncomfortably. No anger. No malice. Just sadness and fear. It was all I could do to stay seated. Not grab Stacy's hand and storm out. She asked me to let her do this though. All I could do was sit back and watch helplessly. "Marlene, you're right. We should have reached out and talked to you all about what happened. It sucked that she was the only one of you to come by and ask us what happened though. Instead of going off the news and wherever else you got your information from. Still, I'm sorry we didn't reach out either. We were trying to figure things out betwe
"No, you're not leaving," said Marlene, grabbing Kenny's arms and turning him towards Stacy and I. "Your best friends are getting engaged today. You've been brooding about this whole situation for over a week and I'm sick of it. Deal with your shit, Kenny," said Marlene, her arms folded and chin jutted out. Go Marlene. Marriage looked good on her. She surprised me more and more all the time. "Does everyone know I'm proposing today?" I asked, focusing on the wrong thing entirely. It got my nervous, half asleep girlfriend to smile though. I'd take that. "You weren't exactly trying very hard to hide it," said Stacy, momentarily caught up in my eyes. I wished I could have her look like that for the rest of the day. A light blush tainted her cheeks and her smile was enough to bring armies to their knees. The way she looked at me made me feel like we were the only two people alive. As much as I appreciated wha
"Soooo… Do you think there's more?" he asked in his most innocent voice. "I'll kill you if you try and find out today," I said, equally as breathless and sweaty as him. It took me a moment to realize I just threatened him without flinching or apologizing. I forced myself to let it go and enjoy the afterglow of the best sex of my life. The heat and sweat coming off our bodies should have been enough to get me off him, but it wasn't. Despite my threat to get off him, his arms wrapped around me gently. "No promises. I love you," he said, completely at ease as he started stroking my hair. "I expect to be told about all future… Locations and phrases." "I love you too. That's no fun. I'm not doing that," I said, out right refusing his request. "Is that right? We'll see," he said cheekily, kissing my temple. "Let me take you to lunch. I want you to enjoy your first day of freedom."