She sat next to me, quietly listening to my speech, then moved to get up. I gave her my hands to hold so she wouldn't fall. "I want to tell you about the typewriter now," she said, staring down at me. "Just don't be mad, okay?" she said, looking like the innocent girl I met seven years ago as she turned and wandered off on her own. I followed her to her study, a place I hadn't been allowed into since I brought up the typewriter. She pulled out a thick binder and handed it to me, spinning around in her office chair. "It's—" "I know what it is," I said, flipping through the sheets of her dead man's switch. It was probably my turn to share my secret, since it clearly tied into hers, but she wasn't done just yet. "This is why we have so much sex," she said, hiding her blushing cheeks behind her hands, as much a bashful drunk as a honest one. "Go on," I said, sitting down across from her. She folded her hands
"Daddy said he'd make me kill you," she said in between sniffles as I came round to squat before her and take her hands. "He said you'd be on your knees and he'd put a gun in my hand and make me decide who got to kill you, me or him," she said, rapidly spitting the words out. She started hyperventilating halfway through her speech. Well that wasn't terrifying at all. Was this the shit she thought about while recreating the dead man's switch? "He said if I recreated the dead man's switch, he'd kill you. I'd kill you. Make you kill Scott. Make you kill Scott," she said in between laboured breaths. "Stace, baby, I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?" I asked, linking our fingers the way I used to at the coffee shop in France. It didn't work this time. She just kept chanting about killing me, which honestly scared the crap out of me. But I promised her everything would be okay, no matter what she said or did. So I took her face into my ha
There's this joke that goes, "I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."If daddy was God, then Scott was my bike. And every single time I went back home was me asking for forgiveness for knowing him. Waking up in Scott's arms was bad for my resolve. I tried so hard to tell him last night that I was leaving, this time for good. But when I looked into his warm brown eyes and his goofy smile revealed his dimples, I lost my nerve. Now here I was, lying in his bed next to him, gently brushing his dark curls with my fingers, thinking about how much time we had left before my flight tonight. "You've accomplished absolutely nothing in the last seven years. It's time to come home," daddy had decreed. I couldn't exactly say he was wrong. With my father uprooting me every couple of months to come home and "Take care of business", I still hadn't declared a major. If I had, NYU likely would have academically excluded me by now. My
Kenny always says that I'm girlfriend goals for Scott, because we never argue. Well we were about to debunk that myth on the side walk of a busy New York road. "I have to go," I said, making my way to the door of the bakery. Conflicting thoughts went through my head. I knew, with absolute certainty, that the door to me coming back to New York or having any sort of life outside of being Luca's wife would close when I got on that plane. But what choice did I have now that I'd exposed Scott's existence to the entire mafia?"Stacy, wait," I heard Scott call out to me. I couldn't see his face, but I was so caught up in my own feelings that it wouldn't have mattered what he looked like anyway. Behind the fear and the paranoia, I was just exhausted. Trying to run from being Don Angelo's daughter had drained me. Something in me snapped and I exclaimed, "You're not going to change my mind. This wedding is happening." Even as I said the words, briskly walking to keep Scott from catching up
Earlier that day… "I think you're being a little bitch," said Willow, sipping on her smoothie. "You've said that already. Thanks for siding with your brother by the way," I said, nudging her gently. Not two hours after walking away from Stacy, I picked Willow up at the airport. She was here for the weekend, checking out NYU to see if she might want to go here next year and I was showing her around. Seeing Stacy upset had caused me physical pain, a tightening in my chest, but I needed to get away from her. It felt like there was nothing else to say. She was going to do what she was going to do. That was probably the anger talking, but I didn't want to hurt her by saying something I couldn’t take back. So I left. Now the whole thing was haunting me. "You didn't let me finish. You're being a little bitch and I think it's great. Fantastic in fact," Willow continued, as we walked the same paths I used to walk with Stacy. "I went on live television and declared how well I know her. Wel
"I'm home. Where's the new girl?" Kenny called out, the distinct rattle of his keys being set down on the counter reaching me in the living room. He walked into the room at the same time as Scott and the brunette. My insides turned and twisted in on itself when I saw Scott. We awkwardly looked away at the same time. "Stace? But you're supposed to be—" Kenny cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Nevermind her, we're going anywhere that's not here," said the brunette, grabbing her coat off the couch and forcing Kenny to backtrack. "We'll pick the one when I get back?" she said, looking back at me with a smile, sounding excited.It had taken me all this time to place her voice, having only ever heard it over Zoom calls. I took a step forward and looked her in the eye for the first time since getting here. "Willow Brady?" I exclaimed, covering up my surprise with a quick smile. "Yes, of course. I may have found you something even better than what we talked about."So this was the
"So what exactly do you do for the mafia that has your dad calling you back every couple of months?" Stacy scrunched up her face, hesitating. By now she had detailed her father's entire operation. What was one more thing? I knew more details than I was comfortable with knowing. Was knowing this shit safe? Sleep would not come easily tonight. This was the last question I got to ask Stacy before Kenny and Willow walked through the door at one in the morning. "Parrrr-ttttyyy," they howled together, stumbling through the door. "Willow Eleanor Brady, are you drunk?" I asked, getting up from my seat at the island to follow her into the living room. "I guess that's my cue to leave," Stacy mumbled behind me, taking the opportunity to get up too and duck her head. "Full naming me, I see cool bro mode is not active," said Willow, dragging Kenny's inebriated body to the couch and dumping him onto it."I'll see you both tomorrow," said Stacy, her eyes pleading for me not to ask my question a
"Boys are stupid," I said to no one in particular, as I entered my apartment. I couldn't really blame Scott for freaking out after everything I laid at his feet last night. Still, it would have been nice if Willow didn't find out like that. My past brought me no joy. In fact, I was ashamed of it. Now that it was all out there, I felt like Scott was judging me. How did he expect me to tell him my most personal shame? Aren't we all entitled to some secrets? As I went from the kitchen to the living room turning on the lights in the apartment, something immediately struck me. My study's door was open. I know I closed it before I went shopping with Willow this morning. The cushions on my couch were all at different angles. Passing the coffee table with quiet careful steps, I made my way over to the corner of the room where my bookshelf was located. I slid my fingers along the books until I found the one I wanted, pulled it out, opened it up and took my gun out of the hollowed out Physics
"Daddy said he'd make me kill you," she said in between sniffles as I came round to squat before her and take her hands. "He said you'd be on your knees and he'd put a gun in my hand and make me decide who got to kill you, me or him," she said, rapidly spitting the words out. She started hyperventilating halfway through her speech. Well that wasn't terrifying at all. Was this the shit she thought about while recreating the dead man's switch? "He said if I recreated the dead man's switch, he'd kill you. I'd kill you. Make you kill Scott. Make you kill Scott," she said in between laboured breaths. "Stace, baby, I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?" I asked, linking our fingers the way I used to at the coffee shop in France. It didn't work this time. She just kept chanting about killing me, which honestly scared the crap out of me. But I promised her everything would be okay, no matter what she said or did. So I took her face into my ha
She sat next to me, quietly listening to my speech, then moved to get up. I gave her my hands to hold so she wouldn't fall. "I want to tell you about the typewriter now," she said, staring down at me. "Just don't be mad, okay?" she said, looking like the innocent girl I met seven years ago as she turned and wandered off on her own. I followed her to her study, a place I hadn't been allowed into since I brought up the typewriter. She pulled out a thick binder and handed it to me, spinning around in her office chair. "It's—" "I know what it is," I said, flipping through the sheets of her dead man's switch. It was probably my turn to share my secret, since it clearly tied into hers, but she wasn't done just yet. "This is why we have so much sex," she said, hiding her blushing cheeks behind her hands, as much a bashful drunk as a honest one. "Go on," I said, sitting down across from her. She folded her hands
It was five minutes before my birthday. After I fucked her a few hours ago, we had a quiet dinner, then somehow wound up back on the kitchen floor. She was drunk off her ass. When she said she wanted to get drunk with me, I understood the implications. Booze was her truth serum. She was finally going to talk to me. No, we were going to talk to each other. "I don't think anyone has ever loved me," she said, slurring her words as she set the wine glass down between us. It took a lot of booze to get her this drunk and I definitely wasn't fucking her again tonight, but it was worth it to have a real conversation with her. I made an effort to not get as drunk as her without her noticing so I could take care of her. I didn't need the booze to tell her my shit anyway. Long before the drinking, I decided I was going to be honest with her. "That's ridiculous. There are married men that are still in love with you. Definitely still Kyle," I said, my tipsy brain taunting me with other men thin
The anger turned into a slow, piercing ache. Her questions weren't that crazy after all. She was there for all the other women. She saw what it meant to be with me. What she didn't know was that I've done exactly what she was accusing me of with so many women. Fucked them to get out of saying the words. It sucked that she was asking anyway, because she did get the words from me. She was the only one. Didn't that mean anything to her? "No baby," I said, my voice softening for her. "I'm going to fuck you because clearly telling you I love you every day isn't enough. For some fucked up reason, you don't believe I will always love you, no matter what dumb shit we go through. It was stupid to stop fucking you. The truth is the pain in your eyes scared me. I freaked out, because I didn't know how to help you, but I swear I'll never turn away from you when you're hurting again."When she started crying in earnest, I rolled off of her and laid down next to her, flat on my back. Listening to
I thought about what she said as I followed her into the house. She wasn't entirely wrong. The secret she was keeping pissed me off, but I figured we were even on that front. It was nothing compared to the pain I saw in her eyes since Rome. I couldn't fix what was happening in her head. I couldn't make it better for her. I couldn't take the pain away and it killed me. I feel so fucking powerless. Tell me baby, what can I do? When I got into the kitchen, she brought me an ice pack and laid it down on my jaw. I watched her do it without protest. This game wasn't fun anymore. Baby, the pain in your eyes is killing me. Let me in. Even if it's not pretty and there's nothing I can do. Even if we both hate it. Please just talk to me. She took my hand, put it on the ice pack and let go, turning her back on me. Just as I was getting up the nerve to tell her she was right, that not knowing how to help her was fucking with me, she spun back around, her eyes still blazing. "Do you stil
Only I couldn't argue with her anymore. Not after being inside her again. Not after snuggling up to her after I came inside her because I knew she needed to be held post fuck. Not knowing we had to talk about how we wound up in bed together this morning when we hadn't fucked since the hotel in Rome. So after ten minutes of holding her, I slipped out of bed and left. I needed time to think things through.I thought about what happened before the sex as I went for a run. I walked in on her watching a Tiktok made by Marlene and Kenny announcing their wedding date and immediately came down on her hard."What the fuck are you doing? You're brilliant, Stace. You know better than to check in on our past lives," I yelled at her."I fucking hate that," she yelled back, raising her voice as she turned enraged eyes on me. "So I check in on people sometimes. That's your best friend and he's going to get married without us. I'm
It's been two weeks since the incident in the hotel suite in Rome. We just got to Prague. We moved every two weeks now. The fixer told Stacy it was just a precaution, like I told him to. He wanted us to be moving constantly, but I knew my brilliant girlfriend was already suspicious and I needed more time to think. The only real leverage that we had were the ledgers. Stacy was in no place to go there though. She still hadn't come back from what happened in Rome. What would recreating even one of those things cost her? And even if she did do it, what then? She clearly didn't trust the feds. How else was I supposed to keep her safe from the fucking mafia? This morning was a welcome distraction from the paranoia and fear. Stacy fucked me. I mean she really went to town on my dick. Her pussy must be magical or something, because she fucking blew my mind every time I stuck my dick into it. My fingers were buried to the hilt in her ass as I fingered it and she rode me reverse cowgirl. I d
Yes, I fucked her. And yes, once we got going, it felt amazing while it was happening. Especially when the relief on her face turned to pleasure. I got as caught up in the moment as I always did with her. Now that she was lying next to me in my arms fast asleep though, it wasn't just the guilt destroying my peace of mind. When the sexathons started back in New York, I absolutely loved it. Being inside her wasn't exactly some big sacrifice on my part. I felt like I was catching up on enjoying myself after being starved from the pleasure I was supposed to feel for seven years. After we fucked, we fooled around in bed. We laughed and talked. There was this unmistakable bubble of intimacy surrounding us while she debated if she was ready to hit the books or wanted to make me hard again. I never gave fucking her again the next day a second thought. Tonight was different. Right after the sex, despite her being in my arms, I felt so far away from her. We did
"Baby, tell me what's wrong," I said, taking my first step towards her. She was faster than me though, aggressively throwing herself at me. Before I knew it, she had her arms around me and started kissing me. "Let's go again," she said, her unsteady voice allowing me a peek into what's been going on with her. I took her hand and led her to the bathroom, peeling both of our robes off before opening the cold water tap and taking her to stand under the shower head. By this point, she was hyperventilating and her eyes were disorientated. "Talk to me," I begged, like I should have in the first place instead of telling her to see a fucking therapist. She shook her head, holding her hand to her chest as she took deep breaths and said, "I don't want to talk." Ready to do what it took to make her point, she kissed me again, her hand wrapping around the dick that just came out of her ass. "What are you using the typewriter