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2024-10-29 19:42:56I instinctively wanted to close the drawer, pretending I hadn't seen anything.
But Kai was already standing behind me,
"Chloe, take a look."
My hand trembling slightly, I opened the album labeled 'Chloe'.
It turned out Kai had liked me much earlier than I had imagined.
Back in our first year of high school, I was notoriously bad at academics, while Kai was a well-known top student.
During a grade-wide exam, Kai's ballpoint pen suddenly ran out of ink.
Just as his gaze fell on me, sitting next to him, I promptly threw a pen onto his desk, thinking I was being helpful.
I thought it was a sweet moment straight out of a high school drama, but when the results came out, Kai was stunned.
He scored only fifty in mathematics.
Not believing it, the teacher even specifically retrieved Kai's math answer sheet from the exam archives.
To everyone's shock, the latter half of his exam sheet was blank!
The writing was faintly visible on the paper, but not a single word had shown up.
It turned out, I had accidentally given him a pen meant for pranking my best friend
the kind where the ink disappears after an hour.
That was the first and only time the top student Kai ever received an F.
The unprecedented humiliation etched my name deeply into Kai's memory.
In the second semester of my junior year, the school organized a music festival.
I seized the opportunity and stood on the stage to perform my self-composed rap.
Seventeen-year-old Chloe was wild, and the lyrics were filled with recklessness and rebellion towards life.
The weather that day was excellent, and she bathed in the sunlight, bravely expressing her attitude.
Kai was standing in the front row, attentively watching the entire performance.
As far back as I can remember, he had always followed the rules, striving to become the "model child" as described by teachers and parents.
He had been living within the framework they had set for him.
On the other hand, young Chloe was like his polar opposite, with poor academic performance, rebellious and wild.
She lived her life brightly and freely.
Until that moment, Chloe's rap was like a breath of fresh air, shaking his inner world.
Sometimes, youthful infatuation comes in the most mysterious ways.
Kai himself didn't even know when he started to have feelings, but looking back at his youth, her presence was everywhere.
So, everything else followed afterward.
I closed the photo album, feeling a mixture of sourness and swelling in my heart.
On one hand, it was Kai's passionate and sincere feelings, and on the other hand, I realized that in Jacob's controlling behavior, I had lost that carefree and happy Chloe.
Kai's voice came from behind,
"Chloe, to be honest, I don't even know if what I feel for you is love or obsession anymore."
"I just know that I can't watch you pass by me without doing anything."
"This time, I want to give myself a chance."
Time flew by, and it had been two months since I had expressed my feelings to Kai.
During these two months, I used the travel fund I had saved for years and went to the Alps, a place I had always wanted to visit.
I hiked through mountains and crossed rivers, covering thousands of miles.
When I saw the crystal-clear alpine lake surrounded by white clouds, everything seemed to become clear.
I screamed and shouted with all my might, completely immersed in the vast scenery before me.
All the pain and frustration I had felt seemed so insignificant in the face of this immense natural beauty.
I thought to myself, it was time to let go.
After returning to the hotel, I checked the Messages that I hadn't opened in two months.
As I expected, Jacob had sent me many messages.
The last one wrote:
"Chloe, I understand the real reason why you broke up with me now. Emotional abuse. I've never admitted to this word, but when I think about it carefully, it seems to be the case."
"Every time we had conflicts, I knew I should communicate, and there was a voice inside me screaming to hug and comfort you. But when I faced your anger and silence, it's like I suddenly lost the strength to do so."
"Being in love with Lily for five years and not having her seemed to have worn away all my enthusiasm. I was afraid of arguments, and when we argued, I felt completely powerless. I'm scared that our relationship will end as aimlessly as it did in the past, so I stood still, afraid to even take a step."
I stared at this message for a long time.
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