Chapter Three

Chapter Three

“ALAM mo Jann, tigil tigilan mo 'yang kaka-stalk mo sa ex mong sirena. Paano ka makakamove-on kung paulit-ulit kang tumitingin sa timeline niya. Jusko, Teh!” April rolled his eyes as he kept on arranging their things.

It's been a week after that bar incident, her friends didn't know what happened. Wala siyang kinukuwentuhan, dahil siya mismo hindi makapaniwala. Binayagan niya ang ex niya, nakita niya si Sansrif “The Grim Reaper”. Bonus pang pinagtanggol siya nito sa sirenang ex niya. Matapos na hinila si Stephen ng mga guards ay inakay rin siya ng iilang guards, pabalik sa mga kaibigan niya. She didn't have the chance to say thank you to him. Umalis rin ito matapos ng kaguluhan. Hiyang-hiya rin siya sa pambabayag niya kay Stephen. Hindi niya akalaing magagawa niya ang ganoong bagay.

“What's wrong with that?" she asked, still holding her phone.

“Let him do whatever he wants to do, focus on yourself, Jann. Maraming pang boylet sa mundo. Alalahanin mo rin na may gig tayo ngayon, baka ma-late tayo."

She sighed, guilty lang talaga siya sa nagawa niya noong nakaraang linggo.  Kaya siya stalk nang stalk sa timeline ng binata.

“Asa'n ba kasi gig natin today?”

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "I texted you even emailed you. How can you not know that?"

Pagak siyang tumawa, “Hindi ko napansin."

“Heh! Masyado ka kasing pre-occupied, dapat siguro humarot ka na.”

“Akala ko ba mag-ingat ako?”

”Para naman magkaroon ka ng sigla, wala kang kabuhay-buhay.”

She smirked, “Tapos masasaktan na naman ako? Nakakapagod na ring masaktan ano. My heart is not made of iron.”

Lumapit ang kaibigan sa kinaroroonan niya, she was sitting on the sofa.

“That's not what I meant. Napansin ko kasing masyado kang matamlay, kahit sa tuwing may gig o kung anuman. Well, I just want you to enjoy a bit. Hindi naman ibig sabihin na magmahal ka agad. I just want you to feel the kilig ng magkakulay at buhay naman ang pagmumukha mo. Nakakamiss kasi yung Jann na naka-enervon at naka-milo everyday.”

Nakonsensya naman siya sa sinabi ng kaibigan. Matapos niyang makabalik mula sa pagmi-MIA niya ay matamlay siya. Parati siyang wala sa mood o hindi kaya nakatulala sa kawalan. Tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo at marahang nginitian ang kaibigan.

“Bayaan mo, sooner or later magiging okay rin ako. Sa ngayon, magpo-focus na muna tayo sa trabaho. Kaya natin 'to!”

After their pep talked tumulong na siya sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit. Medyo natauhan siya sa sinabi ng kaibigan, she was too focused on the pain she felt and she didn't notice she was neglecting her job and her friends. Imbes na gumaan pakiramdam niya sa ginawa niya kay Stephen ay mas bumigat ang pakiramdam niya.

NAGISING si Jann sa marahang tapik ng kaibigan, nakatulog pala siya sa byahe. She groaned as she stretches her hands forward. Nakarating sila sa isang beach resort for a birthday photoshoot. Kahit na minsan nakakapagod ang trabaho niya ay mas lalo niyang minahal ito. Photography has always been her passion since she was a kid, next to it was dancing. Her father was against at her work at first, hindi raw ito totoong trabaho kagaya ng pagiging isang nurse. Galit na galit ito ng piliin niya ang photography bilang propesyon. He didn't talked to her for months, kung hindi pa siya na hospital dahil sa isang aksidente ay hindi siya nito kakausapin. It was a blessing in disguise even it had to put Jann in cast for weeks.

“Let’s set up, Jann. I'll get the props ready and you do your part, okay?” April said and kissed her cheeks.

She nodded, “Yeah. Don't worry kailan ba ako pumalpak?”

“Ang yabang, ah! Kani-kanina lang wala sa mood.”

She jokingly winked at her friend, “Naka-enervon at naka-milo na 'ko. I'm good.”

Sinunod niya ang sinabi ng kaibigan, she did her part. She makes sure all her things are ready for shoot and she changed her outfit, a comfortable one.   Hindi man siya papasang model dahil sa height niya, sa ganda ay pasok na pasok naman siya. Her best asset? Her expressive eyes. Lahat ng mga naging kasintahan niya ay ang unang napansin sa kanya ay ang mga mata niya. Bumagay ito sa maliit niyang mukha, even her brown hair na ni isang beses ay hindi niya kinulayan ay bumagay sa balat niyang maputi.

“Ate Jann!”

A cute voice made Jann stop from wiping the lens of her cam. Dalawang maliit na pigura ang tumatakbo papalit sa kanya. She gasped when she realize who are they, it was the twins! Abot langit ang ngiti ni Jann.

“Ching! Chan!” she said happily as soon as they stopped in front of her.

Yumakap sa kanya ang dalawang paslit, kasunod ng nga ito ang Yaya nilang hingal na hingal sa kakatakbo rin. She giggled and pat their head.

“You should've walk, pinagod niyo pa ang Yaya niyo.” Bumaling siya sa babae, sa tantya niya ay nasa mid-twenties ito, “okay ka lang?”

Tumango ito at ngumiti sa kanya, “Oo, Ma'am. Pasensya na kayo sa mga alaga ko.”

She shook her head lightly, “No, it's fine. Kilala ko silang dalawa.”

“Ate Jann, I missed you! Papa said you were busy, that's why you can't meet us.”

She rolled her eyes at what Ching had said, dinamay pa talaga siya sa kasinungalingan ng lalaki. He could've just contact her, hindi naman siya ang pakay niya kundi ang mga bata.

She caresses Ching's face, “Yeah, I was busy. I had so much works, meron rin akong work ngayon. But after my work I can treat you, is that alright?”

Chan pulled the hem of her shirt lightly, “Promise?”

She felt sad as she saw their hopeful eyes, “I promise, dito lang naman work ko. Can you wait a little longer for me?”

The two nodded silently as they let go of Jann.

Bumaling siya sa Yaya, “Ano nga ang pangalan mo?”

“Marie, Ma'am.”

She smiled, “Don't call me, Ma'am. Hindi ka naman sa 'kin nagtatrabaho. Pwede ko ba kayong makasama mamaya? I'll treat you and the kids.”

Sumulyap ito sa mga bata at alinlangang sumagot, “Kasi po, baka magalit si Sir. Ang bilin niya po kasi ay huwag ipapakausap sa iba ang mga bata.”

“You can call him and tell him it's Jann and I am asking the kids for snacks,” she suggested.

“Please, Yaya Marie!” the two kids pleaded as they both tugged the hem of their Yaya's uniform.

Natawa siya sa ginawa ng dalawang bata, “Oy, tamana na 'yan. Let your Yaya call your Daddy first. I still have a work to do, sa ngayon give me a kiss para ganahan naman akong magtrabaho.”

Agad na lumapit sa kanya ang kambal, at niyakap siya ng mga ito. She lowered herself and the kids kissed her cheeks, her heart swelled in happiness.

“See you later, kids!” she uttered and kissed their cheeks.

She really needs to finish her work early, she doesn't want to disappoint the kids. Kahit pa ay napalit ng inis ang nararamdaman niya sa ama ng mga bata. He could've called her and she'll deal with the kids. If he doesn't want to see her, that's totally fine with her.

*****

“PASENSYA na kayo kids, instead of merienda, ngayong dinner na tayo nagkasama. Medyo natagalan kaming tapusin ang trabaho,” she explained to the kids as she glance to her friend April na tinitingnan siya ng masama. “By the way kids, this is my best friend, April.”

“Hi kids!”

“Hello, po. Friend po kayo ni Ate Jann?” Ching asked.

“Yes, Baby. Actually we're super duper friends simula maliit pa kami.”

“Eh, maliit pa rin po siya.” Ching innocently said making April laugh.

She rolled her eyes, “Masayang-masaya ka 'pag height ko pinag-uusapan.”

April smirked, “You know what I like these kids, matatalino!”

Chan was quite, making Jann worried. Marie on the other hand is observing her. She just smiled at the woman, she knows nag-aalala ito at baka mawalan ng trabaho.

“Baby, are you okay?” tanong niya kay Chan na tahimik lang na nakatingin kay April.

Tumango ito sa kanya at agad na bumaling ang tingin kay April.

“Hindi po kayo boyfriend ni Ate Jann?”  Chan asked out of the blue making Jann shocked.

April was taken aback at what Chan said then he just smiled, “Nope, I am not Ate Jann's  boyfriend and will never be.  I am gay, Honey.”

“Shh! Enough of that, kumain na muna tayo.  I am sure that you're already hungry,” pag-iiba niya pa ng usapan.

Nag-umpisa na silang kumain, Jann was busy feeding the two kids. Marie tried to stop her dahil trabaho raw nitong alagaan ang kambal. Kasi matigas rin ang ulo niya, inuna niya ang kambal pakainin. Tuwang tuwa ang dalawa sa tuwing sa susubuan niya ang mga ito. Mag-uunahan pa kung sino agad ang susubuan niya. Naaalala niya tuloy ang mga kapatid niya, hindi niya naranasang makipag-agawan ng kung anu-ano sa mga kapatid niya. Dahil lahat ng gusto niya ay ibinibigay ng mga ito siya lang kasi ang nag-iisang anak na babae. Itinuturing siya ng mga ito bilang reyna, that's why her brothers calls her Queen. Spoiled sa mga kapatid niya, kahit sa mama niya. Lahat ng gusto niya ay ibinibigay nito even her father love her dearly. Nagkaroon lang ito ng lamat ng piliin niya ang propesyon niya ngayon.

“You want dessert now?” she asked the two little kids who kept on staring at her.

“I don't want to, I am full. But can you sleep with us tonight and read us some stories?” pakiusap ni Ching sa kanya.

“I can tell you stories before you sleep but sleeping with you might not be good. Baka magalit ang Daddy niyo sa 'kin at sa Yaya Marie niyo.”

“Then can you tell us stories before we sleep? Like what the parents of our classmates do? Can you?”

“Oh!” she don't know what to say to the kids, nalulungkot siya para sa dalawa. “Hug niyo nga ako.”

Bumaba ang dalawa sa upuan at niyakap siya nang mahigpit. Kung pwede palang ay iuuwi niya ang mga bata at siya na mismo ang mag-aalaga sa mga ito.

“I'll tuck you to bed but first let me get a shower in our room first. Okay lang ba Marie?”

Marahan itong tumango sa kanya, “Puwede naman po siguro, Ma'am.”

The two kids cheer at what their Nanny said. April smiled at her, alam kasi nitong malambot siya pagdating sa mga bata. Hindi pa man siya nagiging ina ay alam ng puso niya kung paano magmahal ng bata.

*****

Nagpaalam siya sa mga bata para makaligo saglit at makapagpahinga kahit isang oras lang. When they reached their room, April sat in the corner.

“Are you, okay?”

“Yep, I'm just wondering those two looks familiar. Parang nakita ko na kung saan.”

Alam niyang hinuhuli siya ng kaibigan niya at wala siyang dapat ikatakot.

“You saw them at the wedding gig few weeks ago. Tatay nila 'yung pinagnanasaan mo.”

April chuckled, “Wow, ha! Kung makapag sabi ng pinagnanasaan ko, bakit mo alam?”

She rolled her eyes, “Duh! You told me a few days ago that you find him hot. Ewan ko na lang 'pag nakilala mo ang ugali no'n.”

“Bakit, nakausap mo ba siya? May hindi ba 'ko alam, Jann?”

Namamawis ang noo niya sa kaba. Nagpanggap siyang kumukuha ng gamit sa travel bag niya.

“Sasagot ka o sasagot ka,” pananakot pa nito.

“Wala nga kasi 'yun!”

“Kung wala, aber! Anong inaarte-arte mo na parang may tinatago ka. Unless nagkita at nagkausap kayo ulit ni fafable.”

“Hindi, ah! Bakit naman kami magkikita? It's not that I like him.”

April crossed his arms, “Oh, come on, Jann! Nainlove ka nga sa pangit noon paano pa kaya sa ubod ng gwapo?”

Umismid siya sa tinuran ng kaibigan, “Gwapo nga sama naman ng ugali, aanhin ko ang kagwapuhan no'n.”

“Lokohin mo lelang mo, alam ko Jann. Sa tuwing umaandar iyang love meter mo, Jusko!”

“I don't like him, okay? Not in my wildest dream. Maliligo na 'ko, bye!” ani niya saka kumaripas ng takbo papasok sa banyo.

Ni hindi nga niya lubos na kilala ang lalaki paano siya magkakagusto roon?  She may had fallen in love countless of times but it was real love for her. It was real because it was her feelings. Kahit pa ang tingin ng iba ay papalit palit siya ng lalaki. Can anyone blame her if she lets her heart take over? Ika nga nila, walang mali sa pagmamahal. If it is wrong and it fails, it is not love. Hindi naman ibig sabihin na malapit siya sa dalawang bata ay gusto na niya agad ang tatay ng mga ito.

She let herself be one with the water. After she took a bath, she changed her clothes and bid bye to April. She needs to tuck the twins to bed, it was just a small request. Who is she to say no? Nang makarating siya villa ay kumatok siya sa pinto. She could hear laughters, she opened the door slowly.  Nadatnan niya ang dalawang nagtatakbo ng walang mga saplot. Si Marie ay hinahabol ang ito dala ang dapit. She couldn't help but chuckle, masyadong makukulit!

“That's enough kids, let your Nanny Marie change your clothes.”

“Ate Jann!” they both screamed and ran towards her.

Niyapos naman niya ang mga ito at hinalikan ang magkabilang pisngi, amoy na amoy niya ang mabangong baby bath. Halatang kakagaling lang ng mga ito sa pagligo.

“Pasensya ka na, Ma'am. Kanina ko pa po sila hinahabol para bihisan, ayaw magpabihis.”

“I can handle them, dapat siguro ikaw rin ay magpalit na ng damit.” She suggested.

“Salamat po, Ma'am!” anya nito saka inabot ang nga damit ng mga bata sa kanya.

Binalingan niya ang dalawa na kasalukuyang nakayakap sa kanya, “Go to the bed. Bibihisan ko kayo, si Nanny Marie niyo muna ay maliligo.”

Kumaripas ng takbo ang dalawa. Sumpa ang mga ito sa kama at tumatalon-talon pa. She took the baby powder and moisturizing cream in the bedside table. The kids were beaming with happiness, tuwang-tuwa ang mga ito na narito siya.

Lumapit siya rito at inuna muna si Chin na lagyan ng cream at pulbo, “Sa susunod pagkatapos maligo ay magbihis agad. Baka magkasakit kayo 'pag hindi nagbihis agad.”

“Yes!” the two kids answered in unison.

Umiling siya, “You should say, Opo! Not just yes, understand?”

“Opo!”

Hindi niya mapigilang mapahagikgik dahil ang “Opo,” ng mga ito ay masyadong slang. Halatang mas sanay sa wikang ingles. She kissed Ching's cheeks.

“From now on, whenever you answer someone who is older. You should put po at opo.”

Matapos bihis ng damit ay sinunod niya si Chan na tuwang-tuwa siyang pinagmamasdan. Mamula-mula pa ang pisngi nitong bilog na bilog. She could not help herself but kissed it. Binihisan niya agad si Chan nang magreklamo itong giniginaw na. Pinaupo niya ang dalawa sa kama, sinusuklayan niya muna ang mahabang buhok ni Ching.

“Sino ang nagpapatulog sa inyo tuwing gabi?”

“Si Yaya Marie, po.” Chan answered, it made her heart swell in happiness.

“Very good! You both should use po at opo, oftenly. That's a sign of respect for elders.”

“How about me, po? I am very good too!” pagbibida ni Ching sa sarili na ikinatawa niya.

“Yes, you're very good too, Baby! Kaya dapat palaging may po at opo when talking to olders.”

They both sat on the bed while Jann was in the middle of the two. They were hugging Jann tightly, na parang bang takot itong mawala siya. The two were sniffing her scent which made her laugh.

“Mauubos ang amoy ko sa inyo. Mabaho ba 'ko?”

“Hindi po,” sagot ni Chan.

“Amoy mommy ka po!” Ching on the other hand answered.

Nagtaka naman siya sa sagot ni Ching, “Amoy mommy? Mabaho ba 'ko?”

Umiling ang paslit, “Mabango po, amoy mommy po!”

“What's amoy mommy nga?”

Inamoy amoy pa ni Ching ang leeg niya habang nakayakap sa kanya ng mahigpit. Ganoon rin ang ginawa ni Chan dahilan para matawa siya.

“Amoy mommy!”

“Sus, pinagloloko niyo ata ako. Aren't you both sleep yet?”

“No po, can you tell us a story po? Like what your mommy always do to you?” Chan suggested na nagpaantig sa puso niya. These kids wants their own mom.

“Sure! But make sure you need to sleep after, okay?”

“Opo!” the two answered and tightened their hug.

“My mommy always gets angry when I was a kid. I was naughty back then she would pinched me 'til my skin turns red. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love me, she loves me that's why she needs to discipline me and my siblings,” pagkukwento niya pa. Matamang nakikinig ang dalawa.

“She would wake up every morning to cook our favorite food. She would make my favorite Milo drink every morning. She would help me get ready to school and kiss me on the cheeks that sometimes I hate. Her saliva would stick on my face, that's ew!”

“I want that,” Ching sadly said and looked at her with teary eyes.

“I want a mommy,” said Chan.

“Oh, God!” wala siyang ibang nasambit dahil sa pait na dulot ng mga salitang binitawan ng dalawang bata.

It sad where she can't do anything. She can't give them their mommy. Wala naman siyang kakayahang bumuhay ng patay. Niyakap niya ng maghipit ang dalawa at hinalikan ang noo ng bawat isa. How can she explain to them that in life we can't have everything? That sometimes we only have to be contented to the things that can't be change and strive hard for the things we knew that can be change.

“Why we don't have our mommy?” Ching asked, namumula na ang magkabilang pisngi nito.

“Can you be our mommy?” Chan asked.

She sighed, “I can be your mommy, but I can't be with you always. I can't tuck you to bed or fetch you in school but you'll always be in my heart. Is that fine with the both of you?”

Chan pouted, “But you will meet us and call us sometimes?”

Tumango siya, “Oo naman! We can meet and eat ice cream and go to the park.”

Umupo mula sa pagkakahiga mula sa bisig niya si Ching at hinalikan siya sa pisngi, “I want you to be our mommy. Amoy mommy ka po. I love you po, Mommy Jann!”

“I love you too, Ching! And I love you too, Chan.”

Kahit sa maikling panahon ay napamahal sa kanya ang dalawa. Isang napakalaking responsibilidad maging ina nang dalawang bata. But who is she not to love them? When all they did was to shower her with affection and love. She's just a lost soul who got hurt in love and the two kids are lost souls who longs for love.

Siguro hindi pa pagmamahal mula sa nobyo ang kailangan niya. Kundi pagmamahal na puro at walang bahid ng kung ano. A pure love from these two kids maybe is what she needs to get in track.

She can be a mommy for them. She may not be their biological mom. But she can be their mommy by heart.