1.     Collision

Istanbul was alive, the sun was shining, the weather was almost perfect and for once, I’d had a good night’s sleep. I really wasn’t a morning person, but today’s trip had me excited, enough to get everything ready in time to leave. I couldn’t remember when I’d taken a day off just to relax and enjoy life, to just be.

It seemed like centuries since I’d allowed myself to be carefree again…

These past few years had changed me, I thought to myself sadly, hardened me; I wasn’t the same easygoing happy kid I used to be. I f I looked inside me now, I wouldn’t be able to find even a shred of the naïve girl who had lived in me before. I decided I didn’t want to ruin my good mood by dwelling on the past, so I focused on what I was taking with me.

My backpack was ready and since I’d already marinated the chicken last night, all I had to do was fry it.  I finished off the chicken, did a quick salad with my special vinaigrette and sat down to breakfast. I looked at the clock and I still had an hour until Eric picked me up. Aunt Sema and her girls were asleep and since it was Sunday, everyone would just wake up late I imagined.

I quickly got changed into a black tank top, some camo capris and a loose olive green button down which I wore open on top. The overshirt was a bit loose on me but if it became too hot in the afternoon, I’d just take it off, I reasoned. I didn’t want to bother with makeup and so I kept it minimum, some sunscreen, a little lip gloss  and some waterproof mascara was all it took to make me decent, thank God for low maintenance skin. I strung on a cross body bag, wore a single gold chain around my neck and my white sneakers.

I looked myself over, was it good enough for a picnic with my boyfriend’s friends, all of whom I’d be meeting for the first time? Or not… It would have to be enough, I thought to myself fiercely, I’d come a long way from trying to please everyone, if people wanted to judge me by my sense of style, I didn’t give a damn. Let them.

Eric rang my cell phone to signal he was outside like we’d planned last night. I picked up the box with the food and my backpack and quietly let myself out.

In a blue t-shirt and white shorts, sitting behind the wheel, Eric looked cute. I smiled as I came back to sit beside him after stowing everything in the back. His hair was mussed and wet and I could smell the scent of his shower gel in the car. My day just instantly brightened after seeing him. His happiness at seeing me was palpable; he gave me a once over and smiled back.

I’d known Eric only a few weeks but we’d already been out on a few dates. Eric was just that kind of a person, easy to be with. Everything fell into place around him. It was effortless being around him. Nice.

“Looks like you had a good morning,” he gave a once over, “Ready to go?”

“Sure, I can already feel myself de-stressing” I replied as I put on my sunglasses and strapped myself in.

He turned up the volume of the music in the background and we took off.

“Where exactly are we going? Which beach?” I asked Eric after a while

“Oh yeah, we’re not going to the beach… not exactly”

“What do you mean?” I frowned

“Well we might go to the beach later but right now, we’re going to the docks. We’ll be spending the day on a friend’s yacht”

“Oh, that sounds great” I sounded a little uncertain even to my own ears.

Eric looked at me, “What’s wrong? Do you get sea sick?”

“I don’t know… I've never been on any kind of a boat”

“It’ll be okay, you’ll see… anyway, it’s not a boat, it’s huge. You’ll love it!”

“Okay,” I caught on to his excitement. “So who else is coming?”

“Zayn and Melisa, Ashton, his brother and a few others”

Okay, that sounded good, I got along well with Melisa and Zayn but it was Ashton who always made everything okay. I’d met Ashton through our mutual friends and we’d taken to one another right from the start. He was a brother and a best friend all rolled into one. I hadn’t met him in a while because he’d been abroad. I didn’t even know he was back, he could’ve texted me at least? And his brother? Ashton had never mentioned his brother to me.

Eric parked his car in the parking spaces near the dock and asked someone on the phone where to meet up. We walked the rest of the way, me with the food box in my arms and Eric with a cold box. I wondered just how many drinks he’s managed to stuff inside. We could make out a small group assembled near the edge of the water… Zayn waved at us and we walked over.

Three girls and three guys made up the party in front on us, all of them eyeing me up and down. Moment of truth, gear up Sarah, I said to myself.

Zayn, Melisa and Ashton were all there, Eric introduced me to the other two girls, Zerrin and Pelin, the former, a brunette with gold highlights and the prettiest sparkling grey eyes looking chic in stylish cutoff jeans and a beaded sleeveless top and the latter a tall thin sloe eyed beauty wearing skin tight shorts and a halter top. Wow, all of it looked designer. I felt a bit underdressed.

Ashton, always affectionate came up to me and gave me a hug. I instantly felt better.

“Where have you been?” I nudged him playfully.

“Just here and there, I’ll tell you later,” he replied.

Mert, the only guy I didn’t know was attired similar to Eric. Everyone looked friendly enough but I could sense some undercurrents in the casual conversation, it looked like we were still waiting for someone…

I looked around the docks and the boats moored there and my gaze wandered over to the one nearest to us. Suddenly someone came out on the boat, his profile towards us, looking towards the horizon and talking on the phone.

There was something familiar about him, that jawline… that profile… I couldn’t quite put my finger on it… Oh God, it couldn’t be.

My heart sped up until I could hear it in my ears, my hands started to shake and it was as if time stood still.

All the blood drained out of me as Ashton shouted, “Hey, bro”

I quickly ducked down and untied my shoe lace and started fiddling with it, glad that I’d worn sneakers today instead of flats.

What was HE doing here?

How could I face him?

What was I going to do?

Thoughts raced around in my head.

Maybe I could fake an illness, a headache… stomach ache… heartache…  

As appealing and absurd as the idea was, I couldn’t just stay down here.

In any case, I wasn’t a coward. I said to myself again to make it true.

I’d done nothing wrong… He should feel all of this. He should be awkward, not I.

I could hear footsteps coming towards us and a pair of black boots appeared in my line of vision. I took a deep breath, retied my laces and stood up just as a pair of eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses turned towards me.

Collision.