4.     Two For One

I got up and went out. I needed to control my unruly body.

It felt like it was functioning apart from my mind. 

After a few minutes of cooling myself down, I took my bag back with me as an excuse.

I felt like I was in a spy movie but who was the imposter here?

Who was trying to catch whom?

To my relief, Eric had come up and taken my place beside Emre and was showing him Pelin’s pictures.

I sat down across from them next to Pelin, taking his place, the table in between all that temptation.

Phew, I felt weak with relief.

I settled back lazily, leaning my body into the cushions and tilting my face back.

I needed some sugar in me, I thought. My mind was a mess.

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to get out a chocolate right now? My body was already too hyped up.

Was Emre any less than a sugar rush?

Emre suddenly ran a hand through his sun streaked hair and I knew I really needed that chocolate.

I took out the Hershey’s bar from my bag and offered it to Melisa and Pelin, both of them declined.

Pelin looked slightly disgusted as if I was offering her a poisoned apple and not just harmless candy.

I never trusted people who didn’t like chocolate.

I knew it was maybe a kid thing to do but I needed a coping mechanism.

They both looked so different sitting together, I thought as I opened it with my teeth.

I realized I was comparing them to each other, unfair I thought as Eric lacked Emre’s bulild and his height. He was handsome in a cute way, a good guy through and through.

But when did the good guy ever win a competition with the bad boy.

Oh God, I shook my head. What was I thinking? He was my ex.

I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see Eric and Emre sitting together.

It was too much, both of them were too much. My past and my present…together.

I took a bite of the dark chocolate, letting it seep into my taste buds.

I opened my eyes again and both of them were looking at me.

Eric smiling and Emre frowning.

Eric gestured with his hand, asking me to share.

I looked at the bar and looked at him.

Now I could’ve just handed it to him but when had I ever said I’d play fair?

The devil was in me and it wanted revenge.

I smiled, broke a piece, leaned over the table and offered it to Eric with my fingers.

What happened next was all one me. I really couldn’t blame anyone else.

When Eric leaned over to take it from my hands, somehow his drink spilt and fell all over him.

He cursed as ice cold liquid poured on him, all over his shirt and pants. He jumped up because of the cold and stepped on Zayn’s foot causing him to yell.

It felt like everything happened in slow motion, Pelin rushed over to Eric fussing over him; Zayn was still muttering curses and hoping around on one foot.

In the ensuing chaos, Emre leaned over and took my offered bit of chocolate with his mouth.

He sat back down with a satisfied smile, leaving me gaping and shell shocked.

I sat back down with a plop, not even realizing how the game had turned around on me.

Eric was saying he was going to strip of the wet shirt and come back, I just nodded but I wasn’t listening.

Pelin told him she’d go with him.

Emre asked him if he needed a change of clothes but Eric said he’d deal with it.

The asshole winked at me.

Oh God. I knew then. The drink was not an accident; it wasn’t close enough to fall like that.

I was wrong, the devil wasn’t in me. It was in him.

I couldn’t win any games with Emre Evans.

He was just too good.

I felt too hot suddenly and I went down and walked out to the rail.

My mind was in a crazy spiral, that moment when Emre had taken the chocolate from my fingers was etched in my mind; it had shaken me more than I could’ve imagined.

I wasn’t over him. I had never been over him, I realized.

Would I ever be over him? I thought clutching my chest, it hurt.

My mind swirled with memories buried in the past like scenes from an old movie.

It was like there was a black hole in my brain bent on sucking me into the past.

I leaned over the rail panting, I wasn’t here anymore…

I was sucked back into time.

I was with Emre in bed, with Emre in the car, with Emre everywhere…

He was everywhere in my life back then.

It was like he was the sun and my life revolved around him.

He used to pick me up from work, standing outside waiting for me like I was the only important thing in his life. Kissing me like we’d been apart days and not just hours, lifting me into his truck…

He made me feel complete.

He had been my family when I had none, it hadn’t mattered that I was an orphan when I was with him.

Nothing had mattered but us.

I felt the rail in my hand and the sea spray on my face but I still felt hot. I stripped off my overskirt and tied it around my waist, turning back from the memories.