Chapter 2

Schazna's Point Of View:

I look at the sleeping pills in the vanity table infront of me, ni hindi ko ito nagalaw dahil bawal raw akong uminom nun. The reason why I had sleepless night after the day Zayn and I split up.

And I also loss weight after that day, and it's been a month at kahit pagkain ng pagkain ay hindi ko magawa, I felt empty, ayaw kong kumain, hindi ako makatulog, at nais ko lang umiyak ng umiyak and my dark puffy eyes naging losyang na ako.

Siguro dahil binuhos ko lahat ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya ni wala na akong tinira para sa sarili ko kaya ito ako ngayon buhay nga pero patay na sa loob.

"What the hell is happening to you Schazna Camille?" Bumalik sa reyalidad ang diwa ko ng marinig ko ang boses ng aking ina na hindi ko alam kung paano siya narito sa aking harapan.

"Mom? Bakit nandito ka?" I ask and her forehead creased.

"Really? What the hell is happening to you Schazna Camille? Look at you! Pumayat ka nga pero hindi naman bumagay sayo look at your eyebags at mukha kang kinulang sa tulog!" Mom spatted, Bumaba lamang ako ng tingin dahil ayokong sabihin sa kanya ang rason because instead of cheering me up, she will be the first person who will down me. Because for them I am not enough for thier qualification as a perfect daughter.

"N-nothing mom, By the way what brings you here?" I tried to act normal and act casual but I can't hold back my tears as I look at mom's face, I wanna cry and embrace her right now but I can't because I need to act as prim and proper infront of her.

"As I was saying, Your dad wanted to have a family lunch with you, It's been a while since we had our last family lunch" She said firmly, Walang bakas ng saya o lambing, parang isa ako sa mga empleyado niya kung makipag usap siya sa akin, I feel the distance between us. Hindi na gaya dati ng bata pa ako.

"Okay mom just wait for me, I'll go change" Pagpaalam ko at dumeretso sa comfort room ng kwarto ko, and then I grab some decent dress sa attach walk in closet ng kwarto ko, I look at my reflection in the mirror, ang laki ng pinayat ko and the dark circles around my eyes makes me look like a panda!

I wear a simple satin dress and I cover the dark circles around my eyes with a full coverage concealer, And wear a light make up para kahit papaano mag mukha akong presentable sa harap ni dad at mom. At pagkalabas ko ay kinuha ko na rin ang slingbag kong mamahalin, When it comes to my parents I really need to be prim and proper and a material girl because I'm an Alcantara and an Alcantara should be perfect and flawless.

"Shall we go mom?" I ask my mom politely, and then she nods, nauna siyang lumabas at sumunod naman ako sa kanya. Nauna na siyang pumasok sa service niyang sasakyan and I also hop in.

"What is wrong with you Schazna? You looks so bothered, and depressed" My mom suddenly asks while she is facing the window.

I twitch my lips and I suck my lower lip to prevent my self not to cry I looks at the clear sky and I speak. "Hows you and dad doing mom?" I asks, trying to change the topic and mom just let out a heavy sigh.

"You are not answering my question Schazna" Mom calmly said.

"It's nothing mom, I've just been problematic lately about my career" I reason out at hinarap naman ako ni mom na may nanunuyang tingin sa akin.

"That is what you get in that modelling sh*t, We already told you that business is our thing, but you always disobey us, Now you are problematic about that career you are talking about" She growled infront of me, napahiya rin ako roon dahil may mga kasama pa kami dito sasakyan and then she just say this and she did not even care if what others will think.

"Act normal infront of your dad, Talagang mas malala ang kahihiyang aabutin mo kapag siya ang kaharap mo. hindi ka umaktong wala kang problema" Mom reminded, I just nods at pasimpleng pinusan ang luha na kumawala mula sa aking mata.

•••

"Mrs. Alcantara you are here" Magalang na bati ng mismong manager ng resturant na kakainan namin ng tanghalian. And the resturant manager shifted her glance at me and there is a shock in her face.

"Ms. Alcantara you are here, Is it true that you and sir Zayn split up?" Inosenteng tanong ng manager at nilingon naman ako ni mom, I prayed silently na sana hindi na gumawa ng eskandalo dito si mom, but for it to happen I need to lie.

"We did not split up because we are not in a relationship either, Zayn Montero and I are just good friends" I tried act normal and thankfully it worked. The manager smiled and the her smile grew wider.

"Sir Zayn welcome back" The manager greeted at biglang dumagundong ang puso ko I can feel my hands started to be cold dahan dahan akong humarap sa kanya and it is still the same emotion since we broke up. Cold and Emotionless.

"Thankyou, by the way I'll having a reservation, a table for two for me and my girlfriend" He casualy said, I grab my phone so my attention will be diverted.

"Okay sir noted, Akala ko talaga dati si miss Schazna ang girlfriend niyo good thing she clarified things to me that good friends lang pala kayo" The manager said, I am starting to get annoyed to this manager gusto ko na siya ilibing ng buhay.

Zayn took a glance at me but I did not look at him dahil sinasaktan ko lang ang sarili ko.

"Zayn is that you?" Takhang tanong ni mom at saka nilingon nmn siya ni Zayn. And then he smiled. "Yes I am Zayn, Zayn Montero" He confirm.

"Don't you remember me hijo?" Mom asks and then his smile grew bigger. "Ofcourse I remember you ninang, who would not? To all my ninang you are the one who spoils me" Dagdag ni Zayn at niyakap niya si mom.

My forehed creased of what I found out, nabuntis ako ng inaanak ni mom?, nanghumiwalay na si mom ng yakap ay bumaling sa akin ng tingin si mom.

"Kung hindi lang sana pasaway si Schazna, Siya sana ang mapapangasawa mo, pero wala eh pasaway kaya ayan namromroblema ng career niya." Mom said. And Zayn just let out a slight laugh.

"Ninang I gotta go inside, baka kung ano pa ang isipin ng girlfriend ko mamaya kapag naabutan niya tayo rito na nag uusap." Ayan na naman ang sakit. Nauna na akong pumasok sa loob at hinanap ko si dad and then I found him nasa left side siya naka upo with a table for three.

Nauna akong nakaupo and then mom followed. "Ang laki laki na pala ng anak ni Karina" Puna ni mommy.

"Where did you see him?" Dad asks. "We saw him in the entrace maybe he is having a date with his girlfriend, sayang kung hindi sana nagrebelde tung anak mo ay sana siya ngayon ang ka-date ni Zayn at sana madadagan pa ang pera natin, he is a young successful bachelor right now, his wealth are billions." Puno ng paghihinayang na saad ni mom at ganun rin si dad and they started to scolded me, at saka paulit ulit na ipinamumukha sa akin na isa lamang akong dissapointment sa kanila.

As they scold me pinipigilan ko rin ang luha na nais kumawala sa aking mga mata, nakayuko lamang ako habang nakikinig sa mga masasakit na salita na bina ato nila sa akin, They keep on telling in my face that how they regret they had me, because I am a dissapointment, worthless, useless,.

"Ngayon, kung sana nakinig ka sa amin ng daddy mo sana si Zayn na ngayon ang mapapangasawa mo but you did not! At dahil diyan naging dissapointment ka sa amin, you are worthless child,how I wish na sana hindi nalang ikaw ang anak namin, because you are worthless, do you hear me?. WORTHLESS." Mom keeps on saying in my face and I had enough.

"Bakit alam mo ba ang lahat na pinagdadaanan ko ngayon? Do you know what I'm suffering right now?. I am broken right now, even just of you doesn't care about me, alam niyo kung hinihiling niyo na sana hindi nalang ako ang anak niyo, ako rin, hinihiling ko na sana hindi nalang kayo ang mga magulang ko. I spatted back, pero natigilan lamang ako ng biglang kumirot ang puson ko. And then I felt a liquid streaming down my thighs.

"Ngayon wala ka nang respeto?! Sumasagot kana, bastos ka na ah porket humiwalay ka sa amin akala mo kung sino kana" Galit na galit na paratang ni mom sa akin.

"Dahil yun ang totoo!-" Hindi na natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng sumakit ang ulo ko na parang minartilyo, I squeeze the top of my nose to lessen the pain but it did not work.

"Miss dinudugo ka!" Sigaw ng isang babae at pilit kong tinignan ang hita ko at may dugo nga dito at kinabahan ako dahil baka napano ang anak ko, but my vision started to double at unti unti na rin lumalabo.

Ngunit kita ko rin na nakatayo sina mom at dad. "A-ang A-anak K-ko" Yun lamang ang huling naisambit ko bago ako nilamon ng kadiliman.