Chapter 5

Marzanna's Point of View

Nights were the hardest for me. Reminders of Gerovit sat heavily on my mind at night. 

Off in the distance, my wolves howled their songs to the moon. Sang sweetly to their young and loved ones. I envied them. One partner for the rest of their lives. Raising their children together.

Dying together.

Even though neither I, nor Gerovit, had passed away, it felt like it. Stifled me late at night when I lay in bed alone. The sheets beside me cold and my memories a trap that I couldn't escape.

Thus, I was out and about in the temple, as usual. 

Nights had become my alone time. Time to walk about. Reflect. Mourn...

Mostly mourned lately.

With Ixion being gone so often, I was more alone than ever before. My mind was cast into idle with his constant ministrations to keep me occupied. Now that I had no other god or goddess to keep my mind occupied, it wandered to the life I had before this.

To the city we lived in. Each faction. How all of us worked together to create peace and harmony.

A war took us from our home. One I had no idea how it started. Nor how it ended with us falling through the earth.

Maybe someone from the outside attacked us. Forced our hand into battle. 

Once upon a time, I wasn't the goddess of spring but rather the princess of it. 

Strolling down the empty corridors, I could feel my personal guard for the evening eyeing me. They never left my side, even when it meant they barely slept.

There were twenty of them in total. Only one woman was amongst them. From what I have heard about her, she was formidable in her own right.

But they were always there. Always watching. 

Sometimes I wondered if Sekhmet had sent them to look after me or to spy on me. When my thoughts turned so dark, I forced myself to remember who Sekhmet was.

The closest thing I had left of Gerovit.

They came from the same faction. Trained side by side for eons. Or what these humans would consider eons. Best of friends since childhood.

Lucky for me, when Gerovit proposed, Sekhmet was the first to congratulate him. And also to tell him that he shouldn't dare fuck it up with me.

Now, in this world, she was my biggest source of support.

My footsteps echoed off the corridors as I took a left. The feeling of being watched increased the moment my feet hit the pavement towards the enclosures. 

Regular guards mulled about in front of me. All of them were at their stations. Alert. But most of them gawked as I passed. Eyes followed me like bloodhounds.

I thought I would be used to being stared at by now. 

I wasn't.

"Animals asleep?" I asked one of them. The closest one. 

His spine went stiff from standing at attention. His eyes remained focused on the empty space in front of him. "Yes, goddess. All but the wolves. I have a feeling Shiva will be giving birth tonight." He declared.

Shiva was the matriarch of the pack I had. Had more than four litters of puppies over the last five years. She was my crowning glory. And the one animal I interacted with the most.

"Call the animal doctor. Tell him that she might be going to give birth any day now and he needs to come stay here until it happens. We can't take any chances," I said and continued on. "She is getting old and I am not willing to risk her health. Take my fastest carriage and horses." 

The guard nodded and hurried off. I could see another one of his comrades taking his place. Filling the gap in the perimeter.

As if anyone would want to harm me. Wanted me dead.

Except my new caretaker, who was apparently already at the wolf enclosure by the time I arrived.

"We need more water for her. Heated, preferably. Get blankets as well and a welping pen set up." Axlan ordered the rest of the lower staff.

The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up well past his elbows. Top two buttons of his shirt were undone. Showed me a hint of his tanned chest.

But that wasn't what caught my eye.

"You're awake," I stated as he finally turned around fully.

Axlan's eyes widened when he saw me. Then narrowed in, like a viper assessing his prey.

"You didn't tell me one of the wolves was pregnant." He growled, baring his sharp canines.

Smiling, I skirted around him. Looked beyond the fence to where Shiva lay in the grass. Her breaths were labored. Tongue lolled out of her mouth.

She wasn't giving birth just yet but it wasn't far off.

"I didn't think you needed to know. When one of my animals gives birth, I personally tend to them along with an animal doctor. I was just on my way to see how she was doing," I explained.

Smoldering eyes looked me up and down. Mouth tugged into a sneer.

"You tend to your birthing animals in silks and satins? Hardly. I bet you just wanted to come and gloat whilst I struggled my ass off to get close enough to her to help." Venom painted every syllable. 

My smile remained fully intact as I turned to look at him. Beamed at him beneath the glow of the full moon. 

No wonder they were howling so much tonight. She was ready to give birth.

"I'll have you know that I love them more than I do most humans. Silks and satins can be buried with me. She," I pointed at Shiva. "cannot be replaced. Or buried. Or anything else for that matter. All she knows is me and the love I show her. Why would what I wear determine how much of my affection she gets when she needs it most?"

The workers around us stopped moving. Barely breathed as Axlan and I stared each other down. 

All of the anger in his eyes remained intact. Rumbled beneath the surface of his skin. 

Eventually, he nodded. The anger didn't dim but he was backing down for the time being.

"What do you need me to do?" He asked but I shrugged him off. Waved a hand at him.

"Whatever it is you want. There are eager priestesses in the living quarters if you want a fuck for the night. Or you can go have a bath before you smell like the animals you tend to. I don't know. Consider it your first night off." 

Axlan's eyes narrowed in on the side of my face. Eyes searching me. His lips tugged into a firm line and I could feel his irritation crawl across him, inch for inch. "My first night on duty can't be my first night off. Clearly, you will need help with the wolf-"

"Shiva." I protested but kept my tone neutral. Aloof, as he most likely thought of me.

"Shiva. Whatever. She needs more help than just you can offer her," 

By the time he was done ranting, I had already clipped the hem of my dress to my bodice. Kicked off my shoes. I was about to start on my socks when the neighing of horses stopped me just short.

"I'll have you know that I am fully capable of looking after my children on my own. With the help of a qualified doctor, nothing could go wrong. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a guest to greet." I said and walked off in the direction I knew the carriage had stopped.

A raggedy old man climbed out of the carriage. His hard white beard nearly touched his chest. But the smile that warmed his face when he saw me was a comfort.

Dr. Simons has never let any of my animals die. Made sure to take care of them in much the same capacity that I would. Even in his illness, he comes when I call him.

"Marzanna!" He exclaimed and opened up his arms wide for me to fold into. 

He was one of the very few humans who got to call me by my name. After so many years of service towards me and my animals, he had more than earned the right.

"Ben! So lovely to see you. I didn't expect it to be so-" 

Ben's eyes trailed behind me as I went in for our hug. I paused as well and turned on my heels.

Axlan was standing behind me. All wrinkled frown lines and irritation. His lips were set into a hard line.

Like a child, he had rushed after me. Like a child, he was clearly displaying his displeasure at being dismissed so easily.

"I thought I gave you the night off," I said, still keeping a soft tone. Gentle tone.

Not that I didn't want to scream or kick or fuss, because I did, I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing he had gotten a response out of me.

"And I told you that you can't do this alone," Axlan's eyes slipped to the man behind me. "Besides, he looks closer to death than anyone here. If you are shunning people who can't help you, I doubt keeping him around was a wise decision." 

I bristled by the end of it. Had my eyes firmly locked on him. Anger simmered through my system, like my magic crackling to life.

Ben took a long step forward. Placed a single hand on my shoulder as he stared Axlan down. "Last I remembered, boy, she is by far our senior and a goddess, no less. I would watch your tone with her. Lest you want to lose your head."