Chapter 46

Chapter 46

“Faith,”

“Faith,”

My brows crossed when I saw the woman's figure standing on the balcony. She was so bright that it blinds me from seeing her face. But then, I would never forget that angelic voice.

“Are you in pain, Faith?” She asked again. The woman walked towards me and my lips parted when I finally saw her face.

“F-Freya?” My eyes almost bawled out. She drew that softest smile of hers that people used to love about her.

It's been a long time since I last saw it. I've been yearning to witness that again.

“Is that you, Freya?” My voice almost broke with so much happiness melting my heart.

“You've been through a lot, Faith.” She muttered.

I nodded at her as my tears escaped my eyes. Am I really seeing Freya? She's dead, but why do I see her right now as if she's alive?

“I know that you will make it because that's who you are,”

“I didn't kill you, Freya. I fought for my life, too.” She gently shed the tears that were escaping from my eyes as her smile widened even more.

“I know. You didn't kill anyone, my sister.”

“I-I’m sorry…I might have stole Elijah from you, but I'm getting a divo—”

“He's all yours, Faith. Do you know why I didn't answer Elijah when he was courting me?” I paused with that. What is she saying right now?

“Because I saw how he looks at you differently. He was only blinded that he likes me, but he doesn't. I was only waiting for him to realize that, but it happened too late.” I was lost for words. I don't know if I should believe all her words. Is this even real or just a mere dream?

“I want you to know that I'm happy for you, Faith. I'm happy with all your decisions,”

“Freya, wait! Where are you going?” I quickly stood up and followed her but the bright light blinded me. When I opened my eyes, Freya was gone.

“FREYA!”

“Hey, are you okay?”

I chased my breathing and found myself covered with sweat. Lucas went beside me immediately as he put down the tray with food on the bed table beside me. I was shivering with that dream stuck in my head.

“Did you dream about Freya?” He asked. He could tell it by my face right now. I bit my lower lip as I closed my eyes firmly.

My chest was racing. It was a dream but it feels surreal. I glanced at the balcony of my room, and that was where I saw Freya in my dream.

“It feels surreal,” I mumbled. I really thought it was real. It's been a long time since Freya showed up in my dream.

“What does she look like?” He asked.

“She's…” I paused as I recalled her image in my head. “She's happy,” happier than when she was still alive. But what she told me bothers me. Was it really her reason why she didn't answer Elijah before?

“It's good to hear,” Lucas said. “Anyway, forget about that. You should eat your breakfast. Lily told me that you didn't eat lunch and dinner yesterday. It would make you weak, Faith.”

“I don't have an appetite,” my stomach isn't even growling. I don't feel hungry either.

“Then force yourself to eat even just a little,” he said firmly.

I didn't answer anymore and chose to avoid his eyes on me.

“You'll need strength, Faith. You're about to meet Elijah again for the process of your divorce. If you both signed it, then you will be free.”

“How is he?” I don't know why I even asked that. Even Lucas wasn't expecting that question from me. I saw how disappointment invaded his eyes.

“I'm just asking,” I added immediately.

“He's miserable,” he replied. “But that should make you happy, Faith. Have you forgotten what he did to you? Have you forgotten how he treated you? You lost your child because Elijah did nothing,” I know all of that.

I hate myself for being worried about him when I should not care anymore.

“Remember it all, Faith. Remember every detail of his wrath,” he heaved a heavy sigh and stood up.

“I'll leave it here. Please, Faith. Eat for yourself,” he almost begged before I heard him leaving my room.

I had to pull myself out of my bed and take a shower. I cleaned myself and dressed up just to sit on the balcony again and stare into nothing. I looked above when I saw how dark the sky was. The rain was about to cry again. I waited for a few minutes and I wasn't wrong. The sky poured its hatred on the earth and soaked us all with its tears.

“I just want to see her! I have to talk to her, Lily! I'm begging you!”

That noise caught my attention. My eyes landed immediately in front of the house that can be seen here.

“You fucking asshole!” My lips parted when Lucas punched Elijah, which made him fall on the ground. It was raining heavily and the three of them were outside, fighting.

“That's enough, Lucas!” Lily exclaimed and pulled him away from Elijah. Beyond the heavy rain, I still see Elijah's visible tears.

“How dare you go here, huh?! You treated her like trash and now you want her back?! You already lost her, Elijah!” I never saw that side of Lucas again.

I crumpled my hands before I quickly went out of my room and ran outside.

“Ms. Faith, you should not go o—” I ignored the maids that were stopping me to go outside and witness what was happening. I don't know why I even came out when I should just stay in my room and turn a blind eye.

“I love her! I can't lose her, Lucas, Lily. Please, let me see her…”

“Fuck off, Elijah!”

“Stop!” I shouted before his fist could even land on his face again.

All of them paused and their eyes shifted at me. The three of them were soaked already and yet none of them wanted to stop. My eyes just stayed at Elijah. He looks more miserable than before. I saw a light of hope shone upon his eyes the moment he saw me.

“F-Faith!” He pushed Lucas away from him and ran towards me.

He embraced me so tight even though he was soaked.

“How dare you?!”

“Stop, Lucas!” I heard Lily exclaim and block Lucas from coming towards us. I could feel how cold Elijah was. He was shivering and yet he took that chance to hug me too tight as if letting go of me would be his death.

I felt a tear slip out of my eyes again. A dagger pierced my chest and I was too weak to push him. I was melting again, but I also cannot erase what he did.

“I'm sorry, Faith…I'm sorry for treating you like that. Please, don't leave me. Don't do this to me, Faith.” He begged and held both of my hands with his shivering hands.

Seeing him looking like this breaks me so much. I wanted to just hug him and tell him that I will not leave him. But I know inside me that it is not what I want anymore. Now that I see him again, he reminds me of every cruelty that he did to me.

“I will do everything, Faith. Tell me what you want me to do, I'll do it! Just stay…please, stay.” His baritone voice shattered as he begged me again.

Stop, Elijah.

That's what I wanted to say, but no words came out of my mouth.

“Can you bring back the life of the baby we lost?”

He asked me the same thing. He asked me to bring back Freya's life and he will forgive me. He froze when I said that. It's because he knows that he could never do that.

“Faith,” he called me again.

“Go home, Elijah.” I used all my strength to say that without my voice shaking beyond my tears right in front of him.

“Faith, please…” I shook my head slowly.

“No, Elijah.” I said with my unyielding voice.

“My decision won't change,” I added.

“Faith, please!”

“Guards!”

They all pulled him away from me and I quickly turned my back at him. I crumpled both of my hands while I heard him screaming my name and still begging. I did not look back.

“Are you okay?” Lucas quickly asked.

“I'm going upstairs,” I replied and marched out of there.

In the following days, the divorce was already filed. We are in the restaurant, waiting to meet Elijah. We need him to sign the divorce paper to finally cut the ties of our marriage. I couldn't calm while waiting along with Lily and the lawyers.

“Still not here?” my lawyer asked Elijah's lawyer who seemed to be stressed as well.

“I'm calling him. I'm sorry, he's not in his right state,” Lily held my hand beside me and gave me a comforting smile.

“What if he doesn't show up? What if he refuses to sign the papers?” I asked.

“Then we will give all your valid reasons. He raped you, did violence to you, and abused you, right?” My lawyer asked. I glanced at Elijah's lawyer and I saw how worried he was when he heard that.

I nodded. I was all aware that my lawyer said that intentionally to push Elijah's lawyer on the edge and make him come here.

“You will never want that,” my lawyer said.

“He will be here,” his lawyer replied without any assurance.

“And if he doesn't come?” Lily now asked, making sure that Elijah will come.

“Please consider rescheduling this again and I'll make sure that he will be here to sign the divorce papers,” his lawyer said.

“Why not?” Lily replied and held my hand tighter.

We waited there for another hour and no Elijah showed up. At the end, we rescheduled the meeting for the signing of the divorce paper again.

“Do you want me to leave?” Lily asked when we arrived at the cemetery and in front of Freya's grave. I nodded at her and she left me alone there for a while.

“Was it you, Freya? The one who spoke with me in my dreams?” I flashed a tiny smile on my lips as I placed the bouquet of flowers on her grave.

“You almost became an aunt,” I chuckled and sighed.

“But I lost the baby,” there, everytime I mentioned it, I felt a fire burning inside me.

“You know what's the worst? Our own mother did that,” if Freya is here, maybe it wouldn't happen. She wouldn't let her lay a finger on me and hurt my own child.

“I always wanted to gain their forgiveness, Freya.” The breeze began to play with my hair again.

“But it turns out they are the ones begging for my forgiveness right now. How can I forgive them when they kill the only hope I have to live? My baby was innocent, Freya. They took my child's chance to see the world,” and it hurts me so much. Now, I was left wondering about what would be my baby's face. Would it look like Elijah or me? Or perhaps, our baby will share both of our genes.

“I hate them, Freya. I hate Mom, Dad, and Elijah. I hate them so much, Freya.” I feel like the air was Freya, embracing and comforting me.

“I'm sorry, Freya. But I don't know where it could lead me…I don't know what I can do with this hatred that invaded me,”

I stayed there for a while before I left as well. The next day, the meeting was rescheduled again.

“What do you do after he signs the papers?” Lily asked all of a sudden while we were on our way there.

I paused and thought of it.

“I want to leave,” I replied, which captured her eyes back at me.

“I want to vanish and go far away from all of them. I want to do that while I regain my strength again and fix myself stronger,” I want to be better. I want to bury the old benevolent Faith Flamera that everybody knew.

“What are you planning, Faith?” There was a glimpse of fear from her voice. I glanced at her and drew a tiny smirk beside my lips. I didn't answer her as we arrived at the same place.

“They are here,” I uttered when I saw Elijah's car.

“With your parents,” Lily added, before I found my parents inside the restaurant together with Elijah.

Why are they here? My hands crumpled tightly when I saw them again.

“You can do it, Faith.” Lily said as we all headed inside.

I wore my coldest and blank face to all of them as we arrived.

“Faith,” my mother called. I saw how my Dad refrained from coming towards me.

“Good thing that you finally showed up, Mr. Luciero.” My lawyer said as we joined them on the table. My eyes crossed Elijah's eyes when I caught him already looking at me. He wasn't talking, but his eyes were still begging me.

Sorry, but I was so numb that I don't feel any drop of pity for him.

“Let's not make this long. They can sign the papers now, right?” Lily asked immediately.

“Of course,” they gave me the papers and without a single thought, I signed it all before I gave it to Elijah.

I didn't step back from his stare at me. I remained looking at him with my cold eyes. We were all waiting for him to sign it and I can see how much he doesn't want to sign the papers.

I was a bit anxious that he might not sign it. But then, after a few minutes, I saw how he yielded and signed the same papers I signed.

We are finally divorced. As soon as everything was done, we quickly stood up to leave the restaurant.

“Faith, wait.” Lily glanced at me when Elijah called me again. I nodded at her, telling her to give us time to talk.

“I…I don't know what I can do for you to forgive me. But I want you to know that I set you free not because I gave up on you, but because I want to see you happy.” His voice shivered while saying those and I didn't feel anything at that moment.

“Faith, our daughter.” I almost laughed when my father said that. The three of them were all sorry in front of me.

“Please forgive us, Faith. Forgive me for what I did,” my mother begged.

I just shook my head at her, to all of them.

“You will never see me for a long time,” I said.

“And when I go back, it must scare all of you because I will not just come back to do nothing,” that moment, I knew that the love I had for them vanished in exchange of hatred that ate me up.

For the old Faith that they abused and neglected, and for my child that they didn't spare from their cruelty.

“I will come back and make you taste my own wrath,”

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