Chapter 21

Chapter 21

“Lucas,” Lily tried to call him. We both watched him leave with his car while the three of us remained under the rain until Elijah left and went back inside the house.

“Let's give up here, Faith.” Lily said, which captured my attention. Beyond the rain, I realized that it cannot hide the tears of people even under the rain. Right there, while I was glancing at Lily, her tears were visible enough for me to see. Her eyes still speak of her agony and the undefeatable melancholy.

“W-What?”

A tiny smile flashed beside her lips. I heard her sob, until she held my hand together.

“It’s over, Faith. There's no hope that we can all go back together as if nothing happened. Besides, you're already with Elijah and Freya is dead. Everything changed and we have to accept that, Faith.” Her voice shattered. We were both crying under the rain.

Isn't it funny? She told me to accept it, but in front of me, she couldn't accept it herself, too.

“We're all wrecked because of each other. Maybe the memories we all have remained in the past. Perhaps, we all died when Freya died.”

I thought being heartbroken because of love hurts the most, but I didn't know that losing the friends that were once your home hurts differently. It's like a bomb planted in your chest that suddenly exploded and now you're stuck with it. That moment, all the happy memories we used to have were flashing back in my head.

“How did we end like this?” It's the question that remains in me. A question that I couldn't answer myself.

Lily shook her head, having no idea as well. I guess we are all clueless.

“I have to go,” she said before she let go of my hands and left with her car.

I was left alone there under the rain for a few seconds. I took that chance to cry it all while the rain was wiping all my tears.

“Ms. Faith, you should go inside. You'll get sick here,” Marie said when she rescued me there with an umbrella.

My head was flying. I didn't even know how I walked and came back inside the mansion. The next thing I knew, I was already inside and Marie wrapped the towel around my arms. That was when I started to shiver because of the cold that I didn't feel earlier while under the rain.

“Where's Elijah?” I asked.

“Why are you asking about him? All he did was to hurt you,” anger was also in her voice. I cannot blame her. Of all people, she's the one who witnessed everything.

“Where is he?” I still asked, embracing myself.

She took a heavy breath. “He's inside his room. You should go and change, too.”

I nodded. Lucas probably hit him badly earlier.

“We're going to prepare dinner for the both of you. Just tell me if you want to eat in your room or here,” Marie said when I was about to go upstairs.

I only nodded again before I headed to my room. I took a shower and dressed up to sleep and to finally rest after all the arguments and the endless crying.

“Here's the first aid kit you asked,” Marie said with disappointment from her eyes when I came down to get it.

I forced another tiny smile. “He's badly hurt, Marie.”

“You were badly hurt by him, too. Did he do the same?”

“He did the same when I was sick,” I defended him again.

“What about when he slapped you? When that wound happened,” she now pointed at my wound on my arm.

“I already cleaned it,” I said.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you not giving up on him?” Marie was already sick of what I kept doing, I am clearly aware of that. Lucas and Lily are sick of me, too.

Wearing a little smile on my lips, I heaved a light sigh.

“I love him,” I uttered. Sounds crazy, right? How stupid it is, right? To do the things you know that you won't do before over someone that you deeply love.

“You should go, I'll go upstairs and check him.” I said before our conversation became longer.

I headed to Elijah’s room. I don't know how long I stood in front of his door, dubious enough to knock. I bit my lower lip before I mustered my courage to finally knock. I waited for the door to open after knocking thrice. A few seconds later, the door opened and Elijah came out a bit to check who was knocking.

“What?” He asked, cranky. I saw how it surprised him to see me there. It was the first time I disturbed him in his room.

“You're hurt,” I uttered. I couldn't even construct a proper sentence as if all the words in my head were fading.

It seems like he just took a shower as well. Nothing was put on his bruises on his face.

“I came to help,” I added.

“Just leave it, I can do it alo—

“Can we not fight just for once?” I said tiredly. I'm so sick of the two of us fighting all over again.

“Can you just let me do it as your wife? Can you set aside your hatred towards me just for tonight?” Because I was setting aside all the pain and anger that I have for him as well. I'm doing this not just as his friend but also as his wife. We're married after all.

I thought he wouldn't be convinced. I was waiting for his rebat regarding any words. But then, it kinda stuns me when he widely opens the door, letting me in.

He sat on his bed and I remained in front of the door. My feet were unable to move as if I was glued there. I was searching the room, roaming my eyes around. This is where he forced me to do the honeymoon. It suddenly waved in my head again, making me remember every detail of that night, including how he wrecked my wedding gown. But then, the image and their moans in this room when he fucked different women was the one that I will never forget as well.

“What are you still doing there?” His brows crossed as he glanced at me there. I gulped and pulled myself back together before I headed beside his bed and started to prepare everything that I will use to treat his bruises.

None of us were talking but I could feel his eyes pinned on me.

“Ouch,” he uttered as soon as the ointment touched the bruise beside his lips.

“It's a bruise, of course it will hurt.” I said and continued what I was doing.

“You should have not fought Lucas,” I don't know why it slipped out of my tongue.

I heard him chuckle. “You’re now siding with him just because he's in love with you?”

I wasn't surprised anymore when he reacted that way.

“It's not that, Elijah. You know exactly why he's mad,” both of us stopped with our eyes locked together. We both know why Lucas was mad and that is because of Elijah's violence towards me.

“You should blame yourself, Faith.” He said.

“Because you believe that Freya's death is my fault?” I smirked along with my agony.

“Why would I kill the only person that I have in my entire life?” I want him to understand and realize that. But looking in his eyes, I know that it's not even feasible. His eyes were closed along with his mind.

“I don't want you to bear the pain I'm giving you, Faith. I want you to feel it all. I want you to suffer the same way that I am suffering each day,” I moved my eyes away and nodded.

“I'm suffering, Elijah.”

Does he not see it? Is it not enough? I suffer each second, minute, hour and day.

“Let's just finish this,” I said and did all my best to hold back my tears. I continue to treat his bruises with my tears welling out my eyes again.

“Why are you not giving up, Faith? Why are you staying when you can always leave and divorce me?” This time, his voice softened.

I put back everything I used for his bruises before I looked at him.

“I have a flight tomorrow. I'm going to the Philippines for the runway of my summer collection,” I mentioned. I don't want to suddenly leave without him knowing without our worst situation together.

“But it doesn't mean that I'm leaving you forever,” I added and gave him a short smile.

“I'm not giving up even if you hurt me many times because I still believe that the old Elijah I loved is still there,” I am hoping to get him back and meet him again.

I held his hand while still looking at him.

“Whatever you do, I will not leave. I'm gonna stay by your side and I'm not giving up on you.”

I left those words at him before I left the room. As soon as I came out, the tears that I was holding back began to pour out of my eyes.

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